skg

A member of this forum and I were beginning to have a discussion about living "Between the Lord's Prayer and the Serenity Prayer," in determining if there was life after drinking. We didn't get very far, but it's a great discussion topic.
Aside from all the BB references about glum lots and fired imaginations, there are a lot of folks who attend AA but don't consider it their lives. I was told to work The Program like I worked my drinking, and I drank every day so I think about sobriety and spirituality every day. I do not, however, rely on AA for my social life as I have a family and friends which are more than enough chaos for me. I DO attend AA meetings daily, but I also work, visit friends who are not in recovery, talk to God on a regular basis, attend gatherings, travel, and sponsor recovering alcoholics all at the same time. The presumption that I was going to have to give up my life for sobriety is far from the truth; In fact, it is BECAUSE of my sobriety that I'm able to leave the house, visit people whom I wouldn't normally be seen with (because the don't drink), and go places that would have been ludicrous before.
There's more to not drinking than not drinking, and there's more to sobriety than AA, in my opinion. Sure, I had to change everything about ME and my life in the beginning, but the good stuff's come back stronger than ever according to the God of My Understand and His Will for me today. Spiritual growth comes first for me today, too. So long as I'm spiritually fit and stay in touch with 'my kind,' I am free to live a life I never imagined possible without the crutches....

Feel free to be different.

Freedom1990

Early in my sobriety, my life was AA. I had to learn how to cope with life on life's terms.

I think so much of what you speak of is eventually finding balance in sobriety!

Mark75

I would guess that most AAs fall in there somewhere... I am not sure the intention by the founders was to have it become "their lives"... I spend a lot of time on 12 step recovery, but I go to 2, maybe 3 meetings a week... I am a Father, Husband, Boy Scout Leader, Cyclist, Fisherman.... well, you get the idea...

I want to say that I am very grateful to those who have made AA their lives... Those big book thumpers, daily meeting attendees, etc... They have given me so much and I continue to learn from them, and others... I am trying to give back however I can.

CarolD

I've often said....and I find it true for me.....

My life runs smoothly if I don't drink and strive to
follow The Golden Rule


For some of you who may not know....the Golden Rule is
found in the Cristian Bible....
."Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"

God and AA sharing are vital to me daily.

Boleo

Same with me. I go to 3 or 4 meetings a week, but it is not for MY sobriety. I feel somehow compelled to give back what I have been freely given. When I began to experience the promises, there were a few I never bargained for. Such as:

"We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away."

"Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives."

DayTrader

I agree. From what I can see, the "group" of AA folks who live their lives for AA and AA functions have made the fellowship their HP and if that works for them then so be it. I, however, wanted more. I've fallen into the trap several times of making AA my newest addiction and while I didn't go back out and drink, I was not living life.... not the way I feel I should anyway.

LexieCat

Sounds like you're putting it all together, skg! The balance thing has always been difficult for me. I tend to focus on one thing and have trouble shifting gears. Multitasking is not my strong suit.

That may never change entirely, but I feel like I'm starting to make some small progress in the right direction.

artsoul

I really enjoyed reading your thoughts. Especially this:
I occurred to me that it takes some courage to not drink when it's considered the "norm." We probably all need to give ourselves permission to be "different" and to feel "free" to be sober. We are ALL good enough - it's OK to be ourselves, be sober and enjoy our lives that way. We're not missing out on anything, because while sober we can be our true selves and that's not only freeing, it's what life is about. Somehow, that struck a chord with me tonight, so thanks.

I also agree that spirituality is important in recovery (and nearly impossible while actively drinking).

southbeach

hi skg,
i enjoyed reading your thoughts. i always love it when i see people on sr go to AA...as a lot of the people who wrote you do. i go to AA everyday...i just formed the habit in my 90/90 and kept it going. i had been sober before and did not get involved in AA although i attended meetings but was always an outsider. being involved has changed me and my recovery this time. i really get it now. i feel apart of something important by learning and being there for newcommers. i am in my first 6 months of sobriety and need AA's fellowship. AA isn't my life but it is helping me have a better life. i can't say my behaviors (defects) have drastically changed yet but i am trying with the help of my sponsor and steps. my life is full with family but my friends are all in AA. i have no desire to go to AA functions but that is just me...i have made a couple of very very close friends who i speak to daily and see and others who i depend on for guidance and just see at the meetings. but, i need these people i have cherry picked out of the groups. it is a different kind of friendship...better and more real than any i have had before and i love it.

skg

Thank you, everyone, for sharing your thoughts. This whole, "Living Between the Prayers," thing has been a journey for me. When I first came to AA, broken and hopeless, I found patience and tolerance (although I thought they were lying). I didn't recognize it as that--I figured they all wanted something in return... It was the foundation for what I would later learn to be acceptance of others and their brokenness, as well. It was a refuge--if only for an hour--of the screaming and comparing and measuring and judging and total chaos that was in my head, and like a good alcoholic, I clamped onto it. Transference I suppose, but when the synapses started working properly, I heard the people in the rooms saying that I simply had to change everything; so I did--and it left me with a bunch of vacuums: Holes in my relationships, holes in my understanding of God, my motivations, my intentions--basically All Of Me.
AA is an integral part of my life, but it isn't all of my life, if that makes sense. I sponsor peeps, but I don't attend conventions--and I doesn't mean I won't somewhere down the line, but for now, I'm enjoying me; I volunteer in ways that aren't generally noticed; I chair meetings; I maintain contact with other alcoholics on this and other forums, but I don't hunt them down and try to stick my sobriety in their lives. I'm developing balance, as someone said (forgive me, I don't know many of you very well), because I can today--another gift unearned.
A crazy, lovable woman in my home group says, "AA isn't my life, but it's my way of life."
I guess if being patient and tolerant of others and respectful of their journeys, of being loving and helpful without being overbearing, is the product of AA, then I agree with her. I go to meetings today because I want to and it's because of those meetings, the program that is AA, and a Power Greater Than Myself that I'm able to live between The Lord's Prayer and the Serenity Prayer today.

Thanks to all of you who took a moment to contribute your thoughts. There's hope today--