Drinking During Pregnancy, Need Some Encouragement.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Wausau WI
Posts: 134
Drinking During Pregnancy, Need Some Encouragement.
Hey. I have posted here before. i'm just looking for some encouragment and support I guess. I am 8 months pregnant and I have been struggling with my drinking during this pregnancy. I have been in know way drinking heavily. but I've been having a couple drinks a week usually. sometimes I have been able to go 2-3 weeks. which is really good for me. I am not getting drunk. mostly just drinking wine. I'm so mad and frustrated with myself. I feel like such a bad mother. and I feel so trapped in this stupid addiction. Every time take a drink I feel so guilty and I worry about my baby. Every one always tells me that it should be so easy to stop since I know that I'm pregnant. yes. that makes me cut back a lot, and drink very lightly. otherwise I'd be getting trashed every night. but I'm not. so that counts for something guess. I'm just so ashamed of myself, and worried, about after this baby is born. I can see myself relapsing already. I miss the drunk feeling so much. and I'm so irritated every day that I can't drink like I want. I feel so selfish, like a good mother wouldn't have a problem with this. I want to be there for my kids. I want to get sober. but its just so hard. nothing seems to help me with my cravings. counseling, tried one AA meeting. this is so hard. I had one glass of wine tonight. feel so bad.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi again PFF
I really don't know what else to suggest to you I haven't already suggested - I just know from my experience that nothing changes if nothing changes.
When I wanted to quit, I put in all I had.
Have you put in all you have yet? Do you want to quit - for yourself? (rhetorical questions - I don't need an answer)
My continued prayers go out to you and your baby...and I agree with everyone else here - speak openly and honestly with your Dr ASAP.
D
I really don't know what else to suggest to you I haven't already suggested - I just know from my experience that nothing changes if nothing changes.
When I wanted to quit, I put in all I had.
Have you put in all you have yet? Do you want to quit - for yourself? (rhetorical questions - I don't need an answer)
My continued prayers go out to you and your baby...and I agree with everyone else here - speak openly and honestly with your Dr ASAP.
D
Last edited by Dee74; 10-26-2010 at 06:46 PM. Reason: addendum
rode hard and put away wet
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 999
Honey, maybe you should talk to your OB about your drinking. You could be missing an essential element that's manifesting itself in a craving for alcohol. Maybe your baby is not getting the proper nutrition it requires and your body is trying to tell you something about that but instead you are misinterpreting it as a need for alcohol. Be honest with your doctor so that your baby can get the proper care. Seriously.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
PFF,
We have suggested this over and over and over to you. Talk to your doctor. He or she cares about your health and the baby's health. The fact that you cannot keep from drinking even when highly motivated to do so suggests you are an alcoholic. Once the baby is born, you will not be in a position to take care of two young children if you do not deal with this, directly, and with finality.
We have suggested this over and over and over to you. Talk to your doctor. He or she cares about your health and the baby's health. The fact that you cannot keep from drinking even when highly motivated to do so suggests you are an alcoholic. Once the baby is born, you will not be in a position to take care of two young children if you do not deal with this, directly, and with finality.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Wausau WI
Posts: 134
I'm sorry for posting a lot in the past about this. I'm just trying to find help I guess. maybe this isn't the place to look for it. I dunno. I know its all up to me to do something about this. and I'm trying. I just don't honestly know how I'm gonna get over this. counseling and all the rehab stuff they have out there, doesn't appear to me like it really works. I know people have successfully stopped drinking out there, so I'm wondering how they did it. I applaud whoever did out there, to me it looks impossible. but I'm still trying, i have to for my husband and my kids.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
We did it by going to rehab. We did it by going to AA or SMART or Women For Sobriety. We did it by posting here. We did it by asking for, and accepting help.
I don't know what else you want us to tell you. There isn't some super-secret way to get sober that we are refusing to let you in on.
You can open the phone book and find out where an AA meeting is tomorrow, and GO.
I don't know what else you want us to tell you. There isn't some super-secret way to get sober that we are refusing to let you in on.
You can open the phone book and find out where an AA meeting is tomorrow, and GO.
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
A child having to deal with FAS for their entire life is completely and totally avoidable. They don't have the choice you do.
I don't mean to be mean. I've seen too many FAS children suffer to have much sympathy. You CAN turn this around. Your child can't.
I don't mean to be mean. I've seen too many FAS children suffer to have much sympathy. You CAN turn this around. Your child can't.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
You're trying to find help, help has been offered, but you're still asking for help. I'm guessing you're asking for someone to say you're ok with what you're doing, and no one here is going to tell you that lie. You're NOT ok, you're pregnant and can't stop drinking. That can only end up badly, for the baby and for you. The legal term is "child endangering", no nice way to put it. You've been told, begged, to come clean with your doctor but I'll bet you haven't.
To be honest, the only way to stop drinking is to... stop drinking. Whether by AA or some other program or counseling or rehab or whatever, you just put all your effort into it and work like hell at staying sober instead of giving reasons why you can't.
If you're truly desperate for help then take the help that's been offered already: talk to your doctor so s/he can do what's best for the health of you both. Please. For your baby's sake, please tell your doctor you need help.
To be honest, the only way to stop drinking is to... stop drinking. Whether by AA or some other program or counseling or rehab or whatever, you just put all your effort into it and work like hell at staying sober instead of giving reasons why you can't.
If you're truly desperate for help then take the help that's been offered already: talk to your doctor so s/he can do what's best for the health of you both. Please. For your baby's sake, please tell your doctor you need help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Wausau WI
Posts: 134
yea. ok every one. jeez. I give up. I thought people who had the same problem would be a little more supportive. but every one's so high handed and stuck up about every thing. all I'm looking for is encouragement. I know that I need to seek help out side of this forum, but I thought it was for posting and just having some understanding. Its not like I;m posting every day. I havn't even been on here in over a week. I'll just stay off from now on. no one cares or understands. I'll do it all on my own. I don't need all the negative comments it just makes me more depressed. sorry for wasting every one's time.
AAudrey
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Stamford, CT
Posts: 209
Drugs are a no-brainer to stay away from; so is nutrasweet.
TALK TO YOUR OB. See what they say. Be honest.
You need to watch out for fetal alcohol syndrome.
Based on what you described, you have a desire to stop drinking.
TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR AND BE HONEST.
TALK TO YOUR OB. See what they say. Be honest.
You need to watch out for fetal alcohol syndrome.
Based on what you described, you have a desire to stop drinking.
TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR AND BE HONEST.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
I'm not sure what you're looking for PFF.
We can't take the problem from you I'm afraid - you have to take action...you have to stop drinking....see your Dr, commit to a 12 step or some other kind of recovery programme, or book yourself into counselling or rehab.
That the bottom line and that stays put, whether you continue to post here or not.
You may find another forum where you'll get hugs and back pats but that won't help you in any real way & it won't help your baby IMO.
You'll be hard pressed to find another forum as supportive as this one.
Complete strangers have spent a lot of time and effort trying to help you out, and they done you the courtesy of being straight with you.
You've had a lot of advice over the course of your threads for some months now - please take some of it
D
We can't take the problem from you I'm afraid - you have to take action...you have to stop drinking....see your Dr, commit to a 12 step or some other kind of recovery programme, or book yourself into counselling or rehab.
That the bottom line and that stays put, whether you continue to post here or not.
You may find another forum where you'll get hugs and back pats but that won't help you in any real way & it won't help your baby IMO.
You'll be hard pressed to find another forum as supportive as this one.
Complete strangers have spent a lot of time and effort trying to help you out, and they done you the courtesy of being straight with you.
You've had a lot of advice over the course of your threads for some months now - please take some of it
D
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Give us an example of what you would consider support. An example post of the kind of encouragement we should provide, because there seems to be a big difference in what you consider support and what the forum thinks it is. Go ahead, pretend someone else started the thread with your post. How would you support and encourage that person?
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
I get you, I understand it's hards to quit drinking. However, things that are worth it are hard to do. You said you tried counseling, how long did you go for?? You said you went to one AA meeting, but I haven't heard of AA working after one meeting. The phrase is keep coming back until you get it, not quit after one meeting and say it doesn't work.
The reason why people are getting down on you is that it doesn't seem like you're trying all that hard, you listen and get all these suggestions and kind of just half ass it, you can't do that if you want make it. You have to put your heart into getting sober and really mean it.
Nobody is going to come on here and tell you what you are doing is right, it's not right, it's really messed up and the damage is irreversible. I'm not some all mighty moral type person either, I have done my share of messed up things, but honestly you have to stop and think about what are doing to your unborn child. Only you can do what's right and make the right choices to get yourself in that direction.
The reason why people are getting down on you is that it doesn't seem like you're trying all that hard, you listen and get all these suggestions and kind of just half ass it, you can't do that if you want make it. You have to put your heart into getting sober and really mean it.
Nobody is going to come on here and tell you what you are doing is right, it's not right, it's really messed up and the damage is irreversible. I'm not some all mighty moral type person either, I have done my share of messed up things, but honestly you have to stop and think about what are doing to your unborn child. Only you can do what's right and make the right choices to get yourself in that direction.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Seattle
Posts: 49
I feel you.
Pregnancy was the only thing that I did stop drinking for. I actually was drinking HEAVILY when I found out about being pregnant even before it showed up on a pregnancy test I became violently ill. I now know that was my body's way of getting me to stop.
Do you have other children? I would be very surprised if you do because of the continued drinking, knowing that you may have to see the consequences of your choices. Please Please stop. I honestly can't understand how you can only drink a few and stop before getting drunk. That to me wouldn't be worth it at all.
I see everyone here has genuine concern for you AND your baby. I'm here if you ever want to talk. I pretty much failed at breastfeeding because I wanted to drink so bad. I would never think of nursing while I was drinking.
The only way I was finally able to quit was I hit rock bottom. Unthinkable. I wish I would have come to my senses before I was forced to.
You've only got a month left. Can you do that? Give the baby the last month in a secure enviroment.
Pregnancy was the only thing that I did stop drinking for. I actually was drinking HEAVILY when I found out about being pregnant even before it showed up on a pregnancy test I became violently ill. I now know that was my body's way of getting me to stop.
Do you have other children? I would be very surprised if you do because of the continued drinking, knowing that you may have to see the consequences of your choices. Please Please stop. I honestly can't understand how you can only drink a few and stop before getting drunk. That to me wouldn't be worth it at all.
I see everyone here has genuine concern for you AND your baby. I'm here if you ever want to talk. I pretty much failed at breastfeeding because I wanted to drink so bad. I would never think of nursing while I was drinking.
The only way I was finally able to quit was I hit rock bottom. Unthinkable. I wish I would have come to my senses before I was forced to.
You've only got a month left. Can you do that? Give the baby the last month in a secure enviroment.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Wausau WI
Posts: 134
yea. every one's right. I'm sorry. I'll quit asking ,and try harder. but I am proud of myself for how well I have been doing this pregnancy with the alcohol. At least I'm not drinking daily, and I'm not getting drunk.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 411
Just some food for thought... A woman in my home group drank while she was pregnant. Her daughter is now 10 and every time something is "off" (for example, she was recently diagnosed with a learning disability) she beats herself up wondering if she caused it by drinking during the pregnancy. Next time you want to take a drink, think about what that lifetime of guilt will feel like. And hang in there, you can absolutely do this even though it sometimes seems impossible.
GG
GG
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 139
STOP drinking! Just STOP! I know its hard. Go to AA if you have to, do anything you have to do. If you go into labor and they find alcohol in your system, depending on what state you are in you could be charged with child abuse! That baby could be taken from you and you could end up wth a criminal record. GO TO REHAB if you have to! Put yourself somewhere where you cannot drink. A few drinks isn't worth losing your child.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
deal with it now, or deal with it for the rest of your child's life. if your child turns out to be physically or mentally handicapped because you were drinking during pregnancy, you'll have a lot more problems for years to come to deal with then an urge for a drink. you'll have created incredible amount of problems for your child and it won't be for just a few months. It will be forever.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Originally Posted by pinkfirefly 
yea. every one's right. I'm sorry. I'll quit asking ,and try harder. but I am proud of myself for how well I have been doing this pregnancy with the alcohol. At least I'm not drinking daily, and I'm not getting drunk.
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