Day one!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Some great advice here Hollyanne.
I could pick up the phone now and be sucked right back into family BS...but I made the decision soon after getting sober not to do that to myself anymore.
I don't need to be put down or made to feel bad so that someone else can feel good. I don't need to have my life complicated in futile, even impossible, attempts to make difficult, fundamentally miserable people happy.
I love my family but I won't let them make me sick, or lead me back to drinking.
It takes a lot of work but it's all about boundaries and realising that you can never change other people's behavior, but you can definitely change your own.
D
I could pick up the phone now and be sucked right back into family BS...but I made the decision soon after getting sober not to do that to myself anymore.
I don't need to be put down or made to feel bad so that someone else can feel good. I don't need to have my life complicated in futile, even impossible, attempts to make difficult, fundamentally miserable people happy.
I love my family but I won't let them make me sick, or lead me back to drinking.
It takes a lot of work but it's all about boundaries and realising that you can never change other people's behavior, but you can definitely change your own.
D
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Originally Posted by Hollyanne 
.
I moved back to Ireland recently
I moved back to Ireland recently
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Northern Midwest
Posts: 53
Hi Hollyanne,
Thank you for your posts. I am on Day 2 for the 100th time. I, too, feel like a loser every time I have to start over. My friend tells me that I have to stop beating myself up and just think of each day as a day and not the rest of my life. Family and genetics (I'm guessing you are Irish if you have recently moved back to Ireland) don't help. I come from a long line of Irish alcoholics and most family members are dysfunctional in some shape or form. I am no longer going to play victim to all of it. We can do this!
Fakesmiles
Thank you for your posts. I am on Day 2 for the 100th time. I, too, feel like a loser every time I have to start over. My friend tells me that I have to stop beating myself up and just think of each day as a day and not the rest of my life. Family and genetics (I'm guessing you are Irish if you have recently moved back to Ireland) don't help. I come from a long line of Irish alcoholics and most family members are dysfunctional in some shape or form. I am no longer going to play victim to all of it. We can do this!
Fakesmiles
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
Hi SSIL,
Was away since '91. Ireland has changed but I completely missed the Celtic Kitty.
I love being in Ireland. I was an exile. I stayed away from my family and that doesn't work either.
Was away since '91. Ireland has changed but I completely missed the Celtic Kitty.
I love being in Ireland. I was an exile. I stayed away from my family and that doesn't work either.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hollyanne,
I'm sorry for all the BS, but lots of people have family dysfunction in their lives. You can only control YOU.
Stick with AA, and you will find that working the Steps can bring a lot of peace into your life. Do you have a sponsor?
I'm sorry for all the BS, but lots of people have family dysfunction in their lives. You can only control YOU.
Stick with AA, and you will find that working the Steps can bring a lot of peace into your life. Do you have a sponsor?
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
Yep, I had to sever my relationship with my only sister and it will make other family get-togethers impossible for me now, but it's been worth it. Something I've wanted to do for a long, long time. I will have the life I want to live--no matter what.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
Meeting nice people;
I went to my local meeting and admitted relapse and everyone was NICE.
Why do they have to be kind and supportive? D@mn, I cope better when they are not.
Was a long day, went to a funeral and I could only do that coz I am sober (today).
Am home now and just want to chill. New thread appeared today by Sesh/ Naive and it was brilliant for my issues. Everyone, thanks for reading and posting all around. You do not know when writing, that your post could be just what another is looking for! Truly, love and hugs and best of wishes to you all.
I went to my local meeting and admitted relapse and everyone was NICE.
Why do they have to be kind and supportive? D@mn, I cope better when they are not.
Was a long day, went to a funeral and I could only do that coz I am sober (today).
Am home now and just want to chill. New thread appeared today by Sesh/ Naive and it was brilliant for my issues. Everyone, thanks for reading and posting all around. You do not know when writing, that your post could be just what another is looking for! Truly, love and hugs and best of wishes to you all.
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