Dad is 10 years sober in a month - what to get him?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2
Dad is 10 years sober in a month - what to get him?
My dad has been sober 10 years next month - November 19th. I am 28 years old. He quit drinking when I was in hs, which seems like so long ago. I come from a VERY close family. I have 2 older brothers & my parents have been married for 37 years. WE celebrate his sobriety EVERY 19th of EVERY month just to reinforce how important what he did for us was - it's basically "his day to do whatever he wants to do or go wherever he wants to eat".
My question is - I want to get him something REALLY special or even make something for him. We plan on getting him a 10 year chip + I was thinking of getting some pics framed of the 5 of us for his office & then we were all going to write him letters. Should I do a scrapbook of the past 10 years??
Also, my brother is flying home that wkend & we are celebrating for like 5 days - staying a night at the casino, going to nice restaurants, etc...
I just want this to be EXTRA special so any input at all would be greatly appreciated.
Also, he does not go to AA - although my mom still attends al-anon. He really has done this with the help of our family and friends.
THANKS EVERYONE!!!
My question is - I want to get him something REALLY special or even make something for him. We plan on getting him a 10 year chip + I was thinking of getting some pics framed of the 5 of us for his office & then we were all going to write him letters. Should I do a scrapbook of the past 10 years??
Also, my brother is flying home that wkend & we are celebrating for like 5 days - staying a night at the casino, going to nice restaurants, etc...
I just want this to be EXTRA special so any input at all would be greatly appreciated.
Also, he does not go to AA - although my mom still attends al-anon. He really has done this with the help of our family and friends.
THANKS EVERYONE!!!
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Honestly, that's sort of bizarre to me to make a huge celebration. I grew up in an alcoholic home (both folks were drunks), and they both quit drinking one day about ehh.. hell I don't know 20 years ago? We've never acknowledged it, their recovery is their business, and I'm not congratulating them on taking care of very personal stuff in their lives, like they should have as healthy and responsible adults (finally..).
I'm an alcoholic.. and I quit drinking for myself, and pursued recovery for my life. The benefits of that, trickle down to my husband, my child.. my family, my friends, indirectly. I would NEVER expect a balloon or flower for getting my sh** together the way I needed to... the celebration is in the life I live, and have been blessed with since I got sober.
Just find this post really strange and interesting, I'm sorry I'm no help!
I'm an alcoholic.. and I quit drinking for myself, and pursued recovery for my life. The benefits of that, trickle down to my husband, my child.. my family, my friends, indirectly. I would NEVER expect a balloon or flower for getting my sh** together the way I needed to... the celebration is in the life I live, and have been blessed with since I got sober.
Just find this post really strange and interesting, I'm sorry I'm no help!
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
I think the ideas that you proposed are quite good. The gifts that come with sobriety is having your life back. I'm sure your dad is quite appreciative to have a stable family around him. So I think a gift of family: pictures, letters, etc. is perfect.
And Flutter does tell it right that primarily an alcoholic has to be sober for themselves first, there are reasons for that. However, it would be difficult I think to give your dad the gift of himself, or a representation of himself, except perhaps the scrapbook idea.
I think celebrations can be had. Since recovery is a day-to-day thing it certainly can't be the reason for sobriety, but I see no harm in a party.
10 years is amazing too!
And Flutter does tell it right that primarily an alcoholic has to be sober for themselves first, there are reasons for that. However, it would be difficult I think to give your dad the gift of himself, or a representation of himself, except perhaps the scrapbook idea.
I think celebrations can be had. Since recovery is a day-to-day thing it certainly can't be the reason for sobriety, but I see no harm in a party.
10 years is amazing too!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Time... Just spend some time with him. That's more valuable than anything you can give him. A nice dinner, a football game, a hike in the woods.... As a parent of adult kids, I want nothing more than to have them around.
My dad was 24 years sober when he died unexpectedly when he was 63... I am so grateful that we had many meaningful times together... He was sober and I had not yet begun my own downward spiral.
Good for you and your family. It is an awesome thing. Just being together and grateful is all that is required.
My dad was 24 years sober when he died unexpectedly when he was 63... I am so grateful that we had many meaningful times together... He was sober and I had not yet begun my own downward spiral.
Good for you and your family. It is an awesome thing. Just being together and grateful is all that is required.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
When I was ten years sober the most precious thing was a visit from my girl.
She is also gonna give me a new grandaughter in December god willing.
It's just a pleasure to have her around and fills me with love and gratitude
Last year she gave me a enamelled coin with a butterfly on the front and serenity prayer on the back.
Plenty of recovery gift shops on line but you are the greatest gift.
Thankyou for making me smile.....I'm gonna call her
She is also gonna give me a new grandaughter in December god willing.
It's just a pleasure to have her around and fills me with love and gratitude
Last year she gave me a enamelled coin with a butterfly on the front and serenity prayer on the back.
Plenty of recovery gift shops on line but you are the greatest gift.
Thankyou for making me smile.....I'm gonna call her
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
I applaud you and your family for battling this disease, as individuals, as well as a family and that you all continue to see this as a lifelong commitment worth remembering in a special way. All I can add is to look in your heart for the right gift...and it will come to you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
God, sounds like a wonderful family. And that's the day after my 1 year coming up!
The scrapbook sounds thoughtful. That's probably something that I would like, because of the time someone took to put it together and choose the items and lay them all out.
A photo of all of you that is frameable too. Somebody gave me a photo of me and some friends together once and I really liked it. (Different reason, of course, it was sort of a birthday gift combined with a housewarming gift.)
But I don't know what your father would like. If you know you have been good at your selections in the past for stuff like this, then go with your instincts on how to take it up a notch for his 10 years.
Hope it goes well.
The scrapbook sounds thoughtful. That's probably something that I would like, because of the time someone took to put it together and choose the items and lay them all out.
A photo of all of you that is frameable too. Somebody gave me a photo of me and some friends together once and I really liked it. (Different reason, of course, it was sort of a birthday gift combined with a housewarming gift.)
But I don't know what your father would like. If you know you have been good at your selections in the past for stuff like this, then go with your instincts on how to take it up a notch for his 10 years.
Hope it goes well.
Sept 30, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,672
My Dad also died as a recovered alcoholic, but prior to him quitting the last six years of his life, he put us all through a real hell.
Now that I am an adult, I have a 20 year old daughter in college and a 17 year old son finishing HS. I stopped drinking for 7.5 years when my little girl was borne and then I lost it. I have been fighting the disease on and off ever since, but I think I am done for good.
Since alcoholism can me hereditary, my biggest fear is that my son and daughter will pick up the obsession I had for alcohol, but I would give anything to know that they are as determined and aware of the disease as you seem to be.
Knowing that would be the biggest gift for me.....Congratulations.
Now that I am an adult, I have a 20 year old daughter in college and a 17 year old son finishing HS. I stopped drinking for 7.5 years when my little girl was borne and then I lost it. I have been fighting the disease on and off ever since, but I think I am done for good.
Since alcoholism can me hereditary, my biggest fear is that my son and daughter will pick up the obsession I had for alcohol, but I would give anything to know that they are as determined and aware of the disease as you seem to be.
Knowing that would be the biggest gift for me.....Congratulations.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2
Thanks for the responses everyone! I know this probably sounded like a bizarre post but I was just brainstorming wondering if anyone had any input and wanted to make this a special weeked for my Dad. The matter of fact is that TIME is always the greatest gift you can give someone, which is why we are flying my brother back & just making the weekend ALL about my Dad.
I was a little taken aback with the first response - I completely agree that the celebration "is in the life we live" but he always says that because he does not attend AA anymore that OUR family is the glue that holds him together & keeps him stong, thus the reason we aknowledge every month. I also think my Dad continues his recovery by helping others in their recovery. However, I do recognize that in recovery everyone handles things in a different manner & so I respect you for the way in which you continue to be sober. Just be a little more conscious in your words when responding to others.
Again, THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!! I truly appreciate the responses!
I was a little taken aback with the first response - I completely agree that the celebration "is in the life we live" but he always says that because he does not attend AA anymore that OUR family is the glue that holds him together & keeps him stong, thus the reason we aknowledge every month. I also think my Dad continues his recovery by helping others in their recovery. However, I do recognize that in recovery everyone handles things in a different manner & so I respect you for the way in which you continue to be sober. Just be a little more conscious in your words when responding to others.
Again, THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!! I truly appreciate the responses!
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
I'd get him one of the "fancy" 10yr tokens.... or maybe one of the leather BB/12x12 covers..
I don't have the links on this pc but if you do a search for AA store or something like that, you'll find a bunch of neat stuff.
****I think it's important to congratulate ppl for the effort and to let them know you're proud of them.
I don't have the links on this pc but if you do a search for AA store or something like that, you'll find a bunch of neat stuff.
****I think it's important to congratulate ppl for the effort and to let them know you're proud of them.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
I think it's wonderful that your family wants to make this day extra special for your dad and I think the scrapbook idea is great. I don't use AA or any formal recovery, my last day of drinking was around the 20th of August but I choose Sept 1 as my recovery date so that not only would I remember it but my family and friends would as well and each year I have received cards/gifts/phonecalls from my family and friends on that date and the last 2 yrs different family members have even flown me to visit them for my sobriety birthday; it has become an important day not only for me but for members of my family and I hope it continues.
Right Where I am Suppose to be
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 380
Ithink this is one of the loveliest post i have read in a long time, its so beautiful to read the love u have for ure dad!!!! I wish your family many many mor ehappy years together, & thank you for sharing this with us 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Western, USA
Posts: 38
Good for you! I think what you are doing is very thoughtful and special. Yes, spending time with him will be wonderful and I like the scrapbook idea. Remember as you read the responses that SR is a very diverse place with lots of different personalities so take what you want and leave the rest. There is no *one way* or *right way* or *only way* to have a successful recovery. Sounds like your Dad found what worked for him and that is truly awesome!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Nicole, I found your post to be really touching for me. I think it is wonderful that you and your family are celebrating this special occasion. I think getting together and celebrating life in itself is a wonderful thing so I feel that this special time is far more then just your Dad's sobriety. It is a beautiful coming together of family.
Remember that folks here share their opinions and experience. Take from it what you will and know that these memories that are made with our loved ones are what we take with us in life.
Huggs and what a touching post. Thank you for sharing
Remember that folks here share their opinions and experience. Take from it what you will and know that these memories that are made with our loved ones are what we take with us in life.
Huggs and what a touching post. Thank you for sharing
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: MN
Posts: 139
Maybe one of those daily meditation books about treating yourself well or something?? or all of you could write a bunch of little "fortune cookie-like" pieces of paper and put them all in a decorated jar, for him to read one every day and put it back in for another time. like one could be. Be proud of your accomplishent, we are! Another could be...You are such a loving father. etc..if ya know what I mean..just "pump you up" sayings.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: land of 10,000 lakes
Posts: 261
Haven't posted here in a long time, will share a little ESH.... my kids got me a
24 hr medallion for one of my special anniversary's. They reminded me, with it, how it's done. It's the one I carry now and will till I die.
Blessings to all,
Vinnie
24 hr medallion for one of my special anniversary's. They reminded me, with it, how it's done. It's the one I carry now and will till I die.
Blessings to all,
Vinnie
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