Doctors pushing me to go to 30 day impatient
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Springfield, MO
Posts: 11
Doctors pushing me to go to 30 day impatient
And I really, REALLY, don't want to. I have a job that barely let me do the outpatient, and bills stacking sky high.
It's not the fact that I'm against it, in fact at one point I was hoping that is what they would recommend. Now, I am a week & two days into an outpatient program, and although I feel good, I did relapse this weekend. Before I relapsed my doctor was urging me to go to impatient, and it felt like I was arguing with him, which I've never really done with a psychiatrist. I have always just taken their advice and gone with it.
But then I relapse this weekend so they sent me to get a "psychiatric evaluation" which basically was asking if I felt suicidal, to which I said no. But I feel good about this outpatient program, and I was honest when I said I relapsed, and so they contacted my psychiatrist and are basically going to take whatever he says and make me do that. I've seen him twice in the past two years, and I don't see how he can make a life-altering decision for me like that based on two one-hour sessions with me, especially when I told them it's just not possible. I can't take the risk of losing my job, and can't let my bills get any more behind, but they keep disregarding that and insist because of my relapse I won't succeed. They said they couldn't force me, but that was the course of action they thought necessary.
It's hard to say I will be fine when I thought the same last week, but it was very hard for me to be honest about my slip up, and I thought being honest would help me feel better. It did at first, until they told me they were going to let my doctor make the decision about what to do with me. I know it's going to be impatient. I am learning so much in this outpatient, and should have applied that this weekend. Instead of calling someone, going to an AA meeting, I used, and I have no excuse. I feel like I need a sponsor, and to go to more of the outpatient classes, not to mention I have been surrounded by better influences since I started, people who would never put me in a risky situation and want me to get better.
I know I'm kind of rambling, but I am just so stressed about the fact they might recommend I need impatient when I feel like they hardly know anything about me, and I could lose my job I've had for 3 years.
Am I really that hopeless? Has anyone been in this situation before also? Did you go to impatient? Did it generally help out more than destroy what you had going for you? I just can't see the reasoning behind sending me to impatient when I am clearly against it, would most likely lose my job, miss a month of payments without any income, when I am only a week into my outpatient program?
So I'm going in tomorrow to see what they say, and I know
I know it's a red flag when someone relapses in outpatient, but I'm doing better now than I've done in the past two years, and talking to my psychiatrist
It's not the fact that I'm against it, in fact at one point I was hoping that is what they would recommend. Now, I am a week & two days into an outpatient program, and although I feel good, I did relapse this weekend. Before I relapsed my doctor was urging me to go to impatient, and it felt like I was arguing with him, which I've never really done with a psychiatrist. I have always just taken their advice and gone with it.
But then I relapse this weekend so they sent me to get a "psychiatric evaluation" which basically was asking if I felt suicidal, to which I said no. But I feel good about this outpatient program, and I was honest when I said I relapsed, and so they contacted my psychiatrist and are basically going to take whatever he says and make me do that. I've seen him twice in the past two years, and I don't see how he can make a life-altering decision for me like that based on two one-hour sessions with me, especially when I told them it's just not possible. I can't take the risk of losing my job, and can't let my bills get any more behind, but they keep disregarding that and insist because of my relapse I won't succeed. They said they couldn't force me, but that was the course of action they thought necessary.
It's hard to say I will be fine when I thought the same last week, but it was very hard for me to be honest about my slip up, and I thought being honest would help me feel better. It did at first, until they told me they were going to let my doctor make the decision about what to do with me. I know it's going to be impatient. I am learning so much in this outpatient, and should have applied that this weekend. Instead of calling someone, going to an AA meeting, I used, and I have no excuse. I feel like I need a sponsor, and to go to more of the outpatient classes, not to mention I have been surrounded by better influences since I started, people who would never put me in a risky situation and want me to get better.
I know I'm kind of rambling, but I am just so stressed about the fact they might recommend I need impatient when I feel like they hardly know anything about me, and I could lose my job I've had for 3 years.
Am I really that hopeless? Has anyone been in this situation before also? Did you go to impatient? Did it generally help out more than destroy what you had going for you? I just can't see the reasoning behind sending me to impatient when I am clearly against it, would most likely lose my job, miss a month of payments without any income, when I am only a week into my outpatient program?
So I'm going in tomorrow to see what they say, and I know
I know it's a red flag when someone relapses in outpatient, but I'm doing better now than I've done in the past two years, and talking to my psychiatrist
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 638
I would say that without your sobriety you might end up loosing the job you have now anyways. However if you really cannot go to outpatiant then I think that getting a sponsor is a good idea. It sounds like you are already getting some useful tools from outpatiant therapy. Personally I stopped hanging out with people that were not "healthy" and developed new hobbies, friendships and a ways of living life with out drinking.
I myself went to inpatiant for 2 weeks and remaind sober for 3 months after but then had a relapse. I figuared I could have just one drink and it turned into a three day binge. After that I vowed never to feel that way again and used the relapse as a tool to grow from.
I myself went to inpatiant for 2 weeks and remaind sober for 3 months after but then had a relapse. I figuared I could have just one drink and it turned into a three day binge. After that I vowed never to feel that way again and used the relapse as a tool to grow from.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Battletoad - I wish you well.
I don't have experience with inpatient or outpatient programs but I can share that I had to put my recovery and sobriety as #1. This meant.....that until I got that part down....not much was going to change.
Whatever the outcome is my friend I hope that it is the best one for you.
I don't have experience with inpatient or outpatient programs but I can share that I had to put my recovery and sobriety as #1. This meant.....that until I got that part down....not much was going to change.
Whatever the outcome is my friend I hope that it is the best one for you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,350
I don't have any rehab experience either, but I second the notion recovery has to come first - without that everything else is at risk.
If both my Dr and my psych were recommending this, I'd be inclined to pause a while and at least wonder why.
Whatever you decide to do - and if I understand you correctly, the end choice will be yours - apply yourself fully. This isn't a time for half-measures.
D
If both my Dr and my psych were recommending this, I'd be inclined to pause a while and at least wonder why.
Whatever you decide to do - and if I understand you correctly, the end choice will be yours - apply yourself fully. This isn't a time for half-measures.
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
I have inpatient rehab experience. And outpatient treatment experience, and counseling, and Dr.'s treatment, and support groups, and fear and willpower and self-knowledge and...
I completely agree that recovery has to be the first priority. All of the fears and job concerns and family and legal problems were destined to stay with me unless I could find a way to stay sober.
After trying all those things I listed above, I still couldn't stay sober, and the problems and fears all came true. When I became desperate enough to be willing to do what I didn't want to do (AA's 12 Steps), I recovered, and those things have never happened again. Nor do I live with the uncertainty and fear of them happening.
I completely agree that recovery has to be the first priority. All of the fears and job concerns and family and legal problems were destined to stay with me unless I could find a way to stay sober.
After trying all those things I listed above, I still couldn't stay sober, and the problems and fears all came true. When I became desperate enough to be willing to do what I didn't want to do (AA's 12 Steps), I recovered, and those things have never happened again. Nor do I live with the uncertainty and fear of them happening.
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