pascha

Well....Here I am again, back trying to kick this life sucking habbit.

I was online researching tips and trick and came across this site. I really like what I have read so far.

A little about me:
I am 37 year old male from Ontario Canada. I began drinking in University heavily. I loved the way it made me feel. I have continued now since then for the last 13-15 years drinking approx 5-7 days a week aboiut 3-6 beers daily.
For the last 5 years I dont really drink to get drunk nor do I go out to drink. I tend to drink after work at home to unwind or to help deal with stress, as I have a very stressfull job.
After I have a few drinks it feels like the stress is releived for a while. It has become a habit and routine.

I KNOW I want to stop drinking....but everyday at 7pm....I feel like I am missing something until I open one and take a drink. I truely feel better and my mood is better after a beer.

I know drinking has become a problem. It has contributed to 2 failed releationships! My family has a history of alcoholism.

I currently am in the BEST releastionship of my life and am engaged, with a baby due in 8 weeks. I DONT WANT TO HAVE ALCOHOL WRECK THIS RELATIONSHIP TOO.

any ideas tips or advice would be greatly appretiated.
I have tried and tried....but always fail. 1 weeks is the longest I can remember stoping?
Can a family Doc help?
Thank you in advance for responses.

LexieCat

Yes, a family doctor can help with detox and recommendations for aftercare.

I personally found AA to be the best way to not only give up drinking, but have a healthy sober life.

This is the time to deal with the problem--you don't want your child to grow up with a drunk for a father.

CarolD

Welcome....

Yes...seeing your doctor is an excellent idea...and
please be completely honest about your drinking

I'm sure pleased you are here...looking for a healthy sober future.
Sobriety is a win win deal...

All my best to you and your loved ones

tacks

Hi Pascha,

I am new to recovery. And new to this forum.

This is basically what i'm doing thus far:

I stop drinking

But the stress, anxiety and depression does not stop.

So I'm attempting to find new ways of coping. Meetings. New friends. Exercise.

(This is, of course, much easier said than done. And i'm still finding my way)

best of luck to you, Pascha

LaFemme

Hello, welcome and congrats on your upcoming parenthood!

The Doctor is a good place to start. There are as many paths to sobriety as there are people, but many people find AA to be immensely helpful. SR is a great place to educate yourself on Tue many ways to get sober. As for the stressful job and thebeer helping at the end of the day...I would suggest finding something healthier to festered you...reading, excercise, disease, whatever you like...I find alcohol didn't ease my stress so much as numb me to the stress...there is a difference and once you find the right destresser you will probably be much happier:-)

TwelveSteps

As to a stressful job... I was a lawyer at a large law firm managing multi-million dollar deals so I definitely know about using work stress as an excuse to drink...

But it's just that, an excuse.

GG

Toronto68

Good for you for recognizing what you have to do, Pascha. My history is pretty similar to yours, only I was a little heavier at the drinking and I had a different kind of relationship lifestyle (I didn't have them, ha ha - well, they stopped earlier than yours and I am not on the same path of parenthood, etc.). The robotic routine of drinking when work is done is of course the thing that is really recognizable to me. You will be a lot more useful to others when you are able to do something like this (quitting) purely for yourself, and I think you have to look at it that way when starting out. I don't think it works when we try to do it for others; as far as I know, it has to be in answer to a need inside ourselves.

pascha

Thank you everyone for your responses and encouragement.
Today is the day I begin my quest. I chose today because I am begining a rotation of nights for the next 2. Tomorrow morning might be another story mind you after 12 night shift downtown dealing with crap for 12 hours.
Hopefully we are extremely busy and I am too exhausted to even think about a drink in the morning. That is my plan.
If I can get through the next 2 days, I will be very motivated to continue.
I will be taking everyones advice and consulting my physician asap.

Thank you again everyone. It is very motivating to be able to come here and type away my feeling and have others discuss who have been there or who are there!
Lets face it.....family and friends dont understand how hard it is for some to not drink. They cant relate unfortunatly.

stugotz

Three simple suggestions for ya!

1. Got to a meeting.
2. Get a sponser and a Big Book.
3. Use them both.

Good luck.

Nevertheless

I was also an "after work" alcoholic. I was like Jeckyl and hyde.
I also quit with AA. Those first few months are very difficult. I always say, there is a very fine line between whether we take the first drink, or we don't. AA helped me to make the right decision when wanting to drink. Yea it's a nobrainer, until your about to give in. But then you have to remember. (giving in is not an option). Take the "give in" option out of the picture,and it does get easier.
As a guy at a meeting I attended said "my rememberer is broken,but my forgetter works pretty damn good" Sooo true when it comes to drinking.
I wish you the best.
Fred

eddie73

Hi pascha.

Do your best, thats all you can do and never give up. Go to meetings with an open mind and be 100% honest with yourself.

pascha

Well, I am back again. Did very well for a while and slowly slipped back into the trap.

Here is an update as to latest events:

We are proud new parents to a beautiful baby boy born in early December. We couldnt be prouder. I had completely quit drinking for a few weeks. Which is a first for me. I had a few cranky days, but kept busy and it seemed to be working. Slowly I began having a few glasses of wine with dinner and it began a slow regression back to having 3-6 drinks a day.
My wife and I quickly realized that this has to stop again NOW....especially since we are pregnant again!!!!(we had hoped to have 2 before 39....not looks like our dream will come true)

So, I now have many many reasons. Last night I said enough was enough! I didnt have even a sip. My wife kept asking if I was ok. I suprisingly was completly ok. I hope this strength will continue for my family's sake.
In my wifes and my line of work, we see people daily dying with conditions caused by alcoholism. Many in their 40's now a days. I do not want our children growing up without a father.

I hope to use this thread as a record of my trials and tribulations, as I kick this BS habbit for good!! I have wasted too much time, energy, money and life because of this poison. Enough is enough!

I am proud to say that today will be DAY 2

LexieCat

Maybe it's time to try AA? Personal "strength" only carries many of us so far.

Congrats on the new baby, and YES, this is the time!

Doodledog

I second what Lexie said. Please consider some face-to-face support. I know it's hard to find extra time with the new baby, job, marriage, etc. But think of it as an investment in yourself so that you ultimately will be better for them.

I used to think, 'I'll deal with it later, when I have some other areas a little more under control.' The thing is, though, that alcohol doesn't wait to do its thing ...

All the best in your efforts. Congrats on your baby - and new pregnancy.

ddog

artsoul

Glad you're wanting to get sober for good - the thing about alcohol is that it always catches up with us eventually. I use this forum for support every day and have used AA in the past. Find something that works for you and work it like your life depends on it!

Congratulations on your new family...... and do let us know how things are going.

pascha

Well, Day 3 almost complete. Today was MUCH MUCH more of a challenge. I wasnt sure I was going to pull it off.
We are experiencing very nice weather(for a change), and fired up the barbecue. I think it is the first time EVER that I can rememeber that I did not have a beer while cooking? I think it may have turned out better also, since I was concentrating on cooking and not having drinks?

Nevertheless, I think day 3 will go by ok!!

Thank you to everyone on this site. It is very nice to know that others have been here, and are here now. This is the only support I have, because like I said before....Friends and Family dont understand!!!!!!

Thank you again, and good luck to everyone else.

I'll be back tomorrow

artsoul

Great news - congrats on day 3! You're going to feel good when you wake up tomorrow and so proud that you got through your first bbq without alcohol!

Keep taking it one day at a time - things just get better from here!

UniqueNewYork

You sound too optimistic about drinking. I would do some more soul searching.

I thought about having a drink today. I thought about why I don't have a drink. This is the exact reason:

If I drink, I will either die or reach a point where I pray for death. I don't mean this as an exaggeration, or some kind of metaphor, none of that stupid ****. I mean I will literally die or get to a point where I pray for death and then the only thing stopping me is people in my life who care about me that I don't want to hurt.

pascha

hmmm......Not what I expected to read upon my return! Please refrain from any more posts on this thread. I do not wish to read your comments.
Thanks

pounding

Today is also my day 3. I dont want to hijack your thread but your drinking habits are similar to mine and I guess its good to share.

I drink a bottle of red and a couple of beers every night and more at weekends. I gave up in 2008 for 9 months (its on here somewhere) but failed. Im a failure.

I have read so much on this forum and drew the conclusion that I started again because I hadn't reached the bottom. It was my excuse to keep drinking until I reached the pits. The problem is I think I'm clever. Im trying not to reach the bottom by drinking copious amounts of water every night, in the middle of the night and during the day. Why? So im hydrated and fit to drink again every night- nuts I know. I wanted my drinking to last forever.

The hangovers have long gone I think, unless Im in one permanent hangover. They are gone because I have been drinking for 30 years solid minus the 9 months. I think the body must adjust to the alcohol. Instead of hangovers my liver "aches" - this sounds bad. I have a pain in my stomach as well - its time to stop.

I have three children but they are old enough to realise Im an alcoholic and they tell me to my face. Having your 13 year old daughter say that to your face is shameful. My 16 year old will hardly talk to me. My son is ashamed, scared and frightened of my drinking.

Their upbringing has flown by for me - why? well getting drunk every night makes the nights and time in general go quicker. Have you noticed that when you stop drinking the evenings seem to drag.

If you can stop now for the childrens sake as well as your own I can guarantee it will make you a better parent - trust me Ive been there.

best of luck