least

I wish you all the best in making a peaceful sober life for yourself. It IS possible to stay sober, I'm proof of that.

Kjell

Change something, anything, everything.

I had to change who I was or the same "me" would drink again. Maybe this is true with you too?

I made that change by working the 12 steps of AA and now I'm a new person. A better person. A person who doesn't have to drink anymore. It's hard work, but well worth it.

You never have to drink again, but you've got to do something about it. You might not be able to think your way out of this. Action is required on your part.

Kjell

[QUOTE=stugotz;2730819]Sobriety isnt for those that need it or want it. Its for those that willing to do anything it takes to get it.QUOTE]

Wise words there Stu and well said. I think people get really confused about this.

shaun00

There came a time in my drinking career when booze had me cornered.
Couldnt drink with success........Couldnt stay sober with success..

Consumed by a obssession about drinking when dry.........powerless to stop drinking once i got started.

That makes me pretty powerless whether i stop or not......the writings on the wall...I have no power of choice left.

It was a pretty scary realization..........and even with that realization it didnt help me much.

The book "alcoholics anonymous" explained my predicament with clarity.
and suggests a programme of recovery in the form of 12 steps.

It was and is the only experience i have of contented sobriety....i would suggest a trip to AA and ask someone about the book and whether someone there could help you to engage in the step work.

Sceptical?.......i was but like alot in my life i was wrong and i did recover and live a happy contented life and the problem with booze has gone.

Emmy69

Hi Zen. I'll just reinforce what so many others have said. We've all been there. I literally can't calculate how many times I said to myself, "today will be my last day" over the years. It's almost comical.

And I wish I had a magic formula, or breakthrough idea that would make it happen. But it will happen. One day, you'll know. You'll just know. And that's when things just get so much better.

Hang in there. You're 99% there already. You've internally accepted you've had enough. Now make it happen.

Best of luck and keep posting!

Wholesome

Hello all, so I did it! I went to a meeting and boy oh boy was I ever scared. First I sat in my car and watched all the people arriving and I saw someone I know and that almost sent me back home again. I was terrifed of walking in and a familar face knowing my shame. But..... I thought geez if she's here and she had the courage then I can find the courage as well. The terror struck again and I couldn't make myself walk in, I loitered around the door for awhile till a late comer ushered me in. I then sat down and realized that I was going to cry, the lady next to me read a piece about the gal in the mirror and that was it. The more I tried not to cry the harder it all came out, surrounded by a bunch of strangers bawling my eyes out. Someone passed me some kleenex and the lady next to me(it was only her third meeting) was crying too. I pulled it together and for the next hour listened to others stories and they were all the same as mine, none of us could control or think our ways out of being drunks. It was very theraputic and everyone was really nice. It was a lot better than I expected, not nearly as scary. I'm going again tomorrow and I think next time I'll talk.
Thanks for the encouragment to go I know that without it I wouln't have gone.
They spoke about not being able to change yesturday and tomorrows uncertaintees, today is the only day I can control and for today I'm not going to drink

shaun00

good job.

id be real interested to hear how you get on with steps, which is the program of recovery.

good luck.

LexieCat

Glad it was a good (if tearful) experience.

If you didn't get any phone numbers today, when you go tomorrow, raise your hand and say that you're new and you'd appreciate some phone numbers.

It IS scary walking in that door the first time, but also (as you discovered) a tremendous relief.

The one thought I clung to the first few days was that I NEVER had to feel that way again. That utterly hopeless, despairing feeling is gone, and in two years it has never come back.

As Shaun suggested, it's best to get going on the Steps with a sponsor as soon as you can. To find a sponsor, you can ask someone who seems to have what you want, and has worked the Steps herself with a sponsor. You can raise your hand and say you are looking for a sponsor.

You can change sponsors anytime you want if it turns out not to be a good "fit", but at least you can get started.

tmbg

Going to my first few AA meetings was fraught with anxiety, mostly regarding finding the right door. I remember practically running out after the first meeting because I was holding back the tears.

skg

Yeah, those tears of relief and fear, of coming to realize that there IS hope, are the best tears in the world! There IS a way away from the abyss, after all, and you've taken the first actions in preventing yourself from going over. ~APPLAUSE~ That's huge! Let them love you until you can love yourself.

CarolD

Zen.....
I'm thrilled that you were brave and went in
and are planning to return.
congratulations

wren

It is very odd to see someone you know within those rooms -- especially when you had no idea that that person is an alcoholic.

bellakeller

At my very first AA meeting, I walked right into the mother of one of my kid's friends. She asked if I needed help and I told her I was looking for the AA meeting (thinking she was one of us). She pointed to one room and walked into another for Alanon! Doh!


...but I kept going back anyway.