Feel like I am entering a phase of sobriety.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Fenway Park
Posts: 119
Feel like I am entering a phase of sobriety.
Well, today is day 48 sober. The first few weeks of my sobriety were full of hope and nothing but good feelings. It's been about two weeks now and I feel horrible. I feel like I am ready to crash and burn. I don't know whats wrong with me. I am constantly irritated and just generally pissed off all the time. I am normally a very pleasant and friendly person to be around. I am starting to seclude myself again too. My attitude is nothing but negativity, and I am starting to feel anxious again on a daily basis. I struggled with crippling anxiety for many years, which I over came. However, I can recall that the cause of it was my attitude, one that is so similar to they way I am now. Basically I feel like I've lost my momentum with sobriety, and I am fearing a possible fall. Part of me finds comfort in the idea that it's okay to think I am going to fail at times, and I'll just work through it. But I feel like thats giving myself an excuse to drink. I've eliminated the majority of my triggers from my life, but after doing so all I have is myself, sitting here alone in my room. The same way I spent all my years driking. Sitting alone in a room. I still feel strongly about continuing keeping myself sober, I guess I'm just lost, clueless as to where I go from here. Hope to hear from someone.
Save
Save
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 209,086
Hi Save
this really resonated with me
That was me too - just stopping drinking wasn't enough for me. I need to make some pretty big personal and lifestyle adjustments too.
I don't know whether you feel the solution is in activity - hobbies, exercise, social interaction - or whether you feel you need a programme like AA or SMART or whatever...but I'd encourage you to try something.
Getting sober alone may not be enough to make you or I happy - but I believe it makes it a lot easier for us to get there
good luck save
D
this really resonated with me
all I have is myself, sitting here alone in my room. The same way I spent all my years driking. Sitting alone in a room.
I don't know whether you feel the solution is in activity - hobbies, exercise, social interaction - or whether you feel you need a programme like AA or SMART or whatever...but I'd encourage you to try something.
Getting sober alone may not be enough to make you or I happy - but I believe it makes it a lot easier for us to get there
good luck save
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 197
I'm only 2 months in but I can say and i think everyone can agree on is your body must be healthier. Now it's time to work on your mind?
I am single and just being sober this long is letting me know I need a woman in my life. And I would love to be the man I need to be in a relationship. The man I don't need to be is a slobbering drunk.
Find yourself a women that definitely never drinks.
I still sit on my couch and do many of the same things I did drunk, but I act different doing them now. I am basically in the same boat as you.
Today I got out and walked around in some stores. I found myself looking at the women and feeling a need for a companion. I can hope to bump into one somewhere or i could just join some dating service. I am still thinking about all that.
I am single and just being sober this long is letting me know I need a woman in my life. And I would love to be the man I need to be in a relationship. The man I don't need to be is a slobbering drunk.
Find yourself a women that definitely never drinks.
I still sit on my couch and do many of the same things I did drunk, but I act different doing them now. I am basically in the same boat as you.
Today I got out and walked around in some stores. I found myself looking at the women and feeling a need for a companion. I can hope to bump into one somewhere or i could just join some dating service. I am still thinking about all that.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Save,
After almost two years sober, I was finding myself feeling a lot like you. I've been going to AA from the beginning, but I had never worked the Steps--I was rolling along going to meetings.
After reading the Big Book a lot more closely and listening to what was being said by people with long-term sobriety in AA, I learned that what you and I were feeling was basically "untreated alcoholism". People who have been sober for awhile but don't do anything to fill the "hole" inside that drinking seemed to fill, can relapse because life sober isn't satisfying.
What I'm doing now is working the Steps. I don't know whether you've checked into AA, but it offers a solution to those feelings of being "restless, irritable, and discontented."
After almost two years sober, I was finding myself feeling a lot like you. I've been going to AA from the beginning, but I had never worked the Steps--I was rolling along going to meetings.
After reading the Big Book a lot more closely and listening to what was being said by people with long-term sobriety in AA, I learned that what you and I were feeling was basically "untreated alcoholism". People who have been sober for awhile but don't do anything to fill the "hole" inside that drinking seemed to fill, can relapse because life sober isn't satisfying.
What I'm doing now is working the Steps. I don't know whether you've checked into AA, but it offers a solution to those feelings of being "restless, irritable, and discontented."
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hey! I'm around day 83 myself...ever since I got sober, heck even before I got sober I was working on myself and my issues. I gotta tell you its so much easier sober:-)
Regarding loneliness..well I'm single too...and one of the reasons I used to tell myself it was ok to drink was because I was lonely. Since getting sober I've realized that I must learn to be happy with only my own company before I can be in a relationship. It takes time but I'm getting there...I can't even imagine seeking out a companion right now...I've got too much me work to do. Maybe get a pet if you are really lonely, my dogs are a huge comfort and a warm body to hug:-)
Regarding loneliness..well I'm single too...and one of the reasons I used to tell myself it was ok to drink was because I was lonely. Since getting sober I've realized that I must learn to be happy with only my own company before I can be in a relationship. It takes time but I'm getting there...I can't even imagine seeking out a companion right now...I've got too much me work to do. Maybe get a pet if you are really lonely, my dogs are a huge comfort and a warm body to hug:-)
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
My happy recovery required action......
For me....that means AA meetings and many new
sober friends I met there.
It gives me purpose and direction and fun too.
All my best....I hope you will move forward
For me....that means AA meetings and many new
sober friends I met there.
It gives me purpose and direction and fun too.
All my best....I hope you will move forward
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
I'm on day 37, and at times I feel like you do. However, when I feel like that, I try to think of all the positive things that are happening to me, or could happen to me as a result of my sobriety. I'm so happy that I have gone 37 days without having a 3 day binge and having my partner severely pissed at me. I also have my friends, sister, therapist, sponsor, and people from AA that I don't want to let down by picking up that drink.
I mean HELL YEAH I MISS IT, but I have lived so long like that, that I'm just ready to give something else a chance. And if I really want to drink that bad, I can do it tomorrow, but today I'm doing it.
I mean HELL YEAH I MISS IT, but I have lived so long like that, that I'm just ready to give something else a chance. And if I really want to drink that bad, I can do it tomorrow, but today I'm doing it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 861
Sorry it's hard right now.
I'm on day 35 and I seem to go through happy times and sad-anxious-lonely times. I assume some of the emotions are up, just because they are not being repressed by alcohol now.
I like people's suggestions. I find exercise, just seeing the sun, counseling, meditation, meetings, etc helpful.
There are are many recovery programs. (SMART, Rational Recovery, Secular Org for Sobriety, AA, Women for Sobriety, etc.) I really wanted face-to-face meetings because I wanted to meet people locally and I like that kind of support. Of course, everyone has their own way through sobriety.
I'm on day 35 and I seem to go through happy times and sad-anxious-lonely times. I assume some of the emotions are up, just because they are not being repressed by alcohol now.
I like people's suggestions. I find exercise, just seeing the sun, counseling, meditation, meetings, etc helpful.
There are are many recovery programs. (SMART, Rational Recovery, Secular Org for Sobriety, AA, Women for Sobriety, etc.) I really wanted face-to-face meetings because I wanted to meet people locally and I like that kind of support. Of course, everyone has their own way through sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mgm, AL
Posts: 1,000
Originally Posted by tooling 
I am single and just being sober this long is letting me know I need a woman in my life. And I would love to be the man I need to be in a relationship. The man I don't need to be is a slobbering drunk.
Find yourself a women that definitely never drinks.
Find yourself a women that definitely never drinks.
Recovery takes personal, selfish, deliberate time and effort. There's no quick-fix solution. I've attended enough AlAnon meetings to see just how much damage the alcoholic's addictions can do to another person, and they take a lifetime to repair. Codependency isn't recovery, but just another addiction.
It's my experience that doing what other successfully recovering alcoholics/addicts do generally gets what they got. Doing it my way? Not so much...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 711
I find that my mood changes and I can get pissy or just stay aggravated at times for no reason. 99% of the time I'm a positive and easy going guy.
After thoughtful internal deliberation and debate, even from day 1. I gazed into my crystal ball and believe that idleness can be a detrimate to recovery.
So, my opinion is don't be idle. That doesn't mean to not rest and heal when you need it. There is a time and place for everything. But staying idle to brood and dwell can lead you down a dangerous path.
Small things, tiny little adjustments, can make a bigger difference than taking on something grand. To avoid being idle when that feeling comes, I might simply find a different route. Or just go take a walk around the office, make a phone call, get a snack, go window shopping, etc. Cooking new dishes is fun and shakes up the routine also. Hope this helps.
After thoughtful internal deliberation and debate, even from day 1. I gazed into my crystal ball and believe that idleness can be a detrimate to recovery.
So, my opinion is don't be idle. That doesn't mean to not rest and heal when you need it. There is a time and place for everything. But staying idle to brood and dwell can lead you down a dangerous path.
Small things, tiny little adjustments, can make a bigger difference than taking on something grand. To avoid being idle when that feeling comes, I might simply find a different route. Or just go take a walk around the office, make a phone call, get a snack, go window shopping, etc. Cooking new dishes is fun and shakes up the routine also. Hope this helps.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Whistler, British Columbia
Posts: 222
Hey Save
Good on you for your 49 days sober!
Have you thought of doing something different with your free time? perhaps helping out with a local charity in your area?
Helping others always puts me in a great mood, almost like a feel good contact high when I am around doing good things for others.
Good on you for your 49 days sober!
Have you thought of doing something different with your free time? perhaps helping out with a local charity in your area?
Helping others always puts me in a great mood, almost like a feel good contact high when I am around doing good things for others.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Fenway Park
Posts: 119
Thanks for all the input!
I have thought about going to meetings, even attempted going to one. When I got out of detox I wait a week to goto a "young peoples open discussion", I thought that would be the best way to ease myself into AA. However, when I arrived at the address it was a run down old building, with a ton of shady people hanging around. I never went in, and haven't thought about it since, that was about 45 days ago.
I do my best to stay active, I've been walking three miles per day, and eating healthy. I go help my family at the local soup kitchen a few times a week. I've also been desperately searching for work, to no avail. I try to stay positive and think about all the things I'll be able to accomplish as a sober man.
Moving on to relationships. I had plenty of chances to get to know different women, but I put forth zero effort. I realized that under no circumstances could I manage a relationship while suffering as much as I was. I have been very alone, for quite sometime, I would like to find a new companion sometime soon. I don't know if that would be a good thing, or a bad thing for me at this point.
The "untreated alcoholism" idea seems to make sense. I used alcohol since I was a kid, I can't remember how I ever felt before I started abusing though.
Well, I guess I'll have to take another shot at a meeting.
Thanks for you time guys!
Save
I have thought about going to meetings, even attempted going to one. When I got out of detox I wait a week to goto a "young peoples open discussion", I thought that would be the best way to ease myself into AA. However, when I arrived at the address it was a run down old building, with a ton of shady people hanging around. I never went in, and haven't thought about it since, that was about 45 days ago.
I do my best to stay active, I've been walking three miles per day, and eating healthy. I go help my family at the local soup kitchen a few times a week. I've also been desperately searching for work, to no avail. I try to stay positive and think about all the things I'll be able to accomplish as a sober man.
Moving on to relationships. I had plenty of chances to get to know different women, but I put forth zero effort. I realized that under no circumstances could I manage a relationship while suffering as much as I was. I have been very alone, for quite sometime, I would like to find a new companion sometime soon. I don't know if that would be a good thing, or a bad thing for me at this point.
The "untreated alcoholism" idea seems to make sense. I used alcohol since I was a kid, I can't remember how I ever felt before I started abusing though.
Well, I guess I'll have to take another shot at a meeting.
Thanks for you time guys!
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