Alternatives to AA?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Eastern, PA
Posts: 112
Thanks to both JFangle and Oak,
I think it's might be somewhat like human nature. A bad experience with one ****head will etch in someone's brain sooner than the will the good conversations one had with the 15 others.
Kind of odd. I'm avoiding AA largely because of a recovered addict who's an avid member of AA (although he's never drank). While i myself am an alcoholic reaching out to NA although i haven't really drugged in 20 years. Go figure.
BTW, i love your sig, JF.
I think it's might be somewhat like human nature. A bad experience with one ****head will etch in someone's brain sooner than the will the good conversations one had with the 15 others.
Kind of odd. I'm avoiding AA largely because of a recovered addict who's an avid member of AA (although he's never drank). While i myself am an alcoholic reaching out to NA although i haven't really drugged in 20 years. Go figure.
BTW, i love your sig, JF.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
when i first joined SR(the first couple of weeks i believe in Feb), there was a debate going on about AA vs. non-AA....i thought it was downright callous/close-minded that the person defending AA basically posted that if AA method didn't work, "there is a liquor store on the corner" or something to that effect...it reminded me of bullying.
of course people are entitled to their opinions(i've had several PMs from the AA purists who try to continue their point) but from what i read here, if this is the type of method used it is definitely not for me, along with the powerless and surrender yourself...I'm not powerless at all.
but again, there are different ways to recover and I am happy with my choice...and no one should feel marginalized.
of course people are entitled to their opinions(i've had several PMs from the AA purists who try to continue their point) but from what i read here, if this is the type of method used it is definitely not for me, along with the powerless and surrender yourself...I'm not powerless at all.
but again, there are different ways to recover and I am happy with my choice...and no one should feel marginalized.
Philly cheesesteak for me please....with mushrooms and peppers!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Eastern, PA
Posts: 112
Hey JF,
I do appreciate your toughts.
You might be somewhat comforted by the fact that the AA member who i met in NA has been reaching out to me with support.
Originally Posted by Jfanagle 
...That being said, it makes me sad that someone who doesn't find what I found, or finds some help in AA and strength in other places feels "marginalized" as Oak stated....
You might be somewhat comforted by the fact that the AA member who i met in NA has been reaching out to me with support.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Lomita, California
Posts: 200
I think that, once we put the naming aside, (AA, NA, SMART, whatever) the thing that is most helpful is to have a path to recovery with a support group. I personally do not like the AA meetings in my area and have found 2 great (awesome, actually) NA meetings. That in conjunction with this site is basically all I have needed after the initial detox. just reading this Forum for a few hours a day has, all by itself, made a world of difference in my life.
Whatever it takes to reach your goal of being sober and/or clean, just do it. Read books, find a support group (most important!) stick around here. It's more than worth it to have a new, sober life!
Whatever it takes to reach your goal of being sober and/or clean, just do it. Read books, find a support group (most important!) stick around here. It's more than worth it to have a new, sober life!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Outside of SR I have no support group...personally I feel really good...but then I am strange that way. I posted a ton here when I first joined but I have been tapering off in the past few weeks. I don't recommend my way to others...just pointing out that not everyone needs a f2f support group:-)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Chicago
Posts: 166
Originally Posted by LBW
AA is one way to go. AA works for many people. My sister and dad are examples to me. They are new people because of AA.
A good psychiatrist and AA helped me make my new life. Your insight as to getting sober, and staying sober is great...
The one thing that I like about AA is how it reminds me of how I don't want to live. Been there, done that, and don't want to go back.
I think I will look into CBT and see what it can do to help me. A lot of the stuff that CBT suggests ended up happening in my life over time as I built my new life.
When you remove the drink, you have to replace it with something else. At first AA was my life, then, as I became stronger AA became part of my life.
I am rambling... I guess I am saying that there are many roads to sobriety and I am happy you found one. We are both trudging the road of happy destiny together but in our own specialized ways. Keep up the good work and thanks for posting.
You are awesome!
A guy named AA4life... :-)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 42
"I've read that it takes 90 days to repair your brain's functional ability to control urges. AA suggests going to meetings every day for 90 days."
This line is complete and total bs for me and I'll tell you why, I didn't do
90 in 90 days as they suggest I did at the most 3 meetings a week and
it was enough for it to work for me.... some people need more some
less not everyone is built the same way..... I am 5 months in now
and I am still unable to fall asleep naturally like a normal person should.
Not everyone recovers fully after 3 months, it depends on your age
how much you drank and for how long.... and god knows what other
drugs you may have put into yourself.
I do however agree with you that you should find other ways to deal
with life and find other ways to enjoy life, your life shouldn't revolve
around AA if you don't want it to... I like thinking outside the box and
have found dozen of other ways to keep myself sober and sane that
has nothing to do with AA, and is not from the big book.
This line is complete and total bs for me and I'll tell you why, I didn't do
90 in 90 days as they suggest I did at the most 3 meetings a week and
it was enough for it to work for me.... some people need more some
less not everyone is built the same way..... I am 5 months in now
and I am still unable to fall asleep naturally like a normal person should.
Not everyone recovers fully after 3 months, it depends on your age
how much you drank and for how long.... and god knows what other
drugs you may have put into yourself.
I do however agree with you that you should find other ways to deal
with life and find other ways to enjoy life, your life shouldn't revolve
around AA if you don't want it to... I like thinking outside the box and
have found dozen of other ways to keep myself sober and sane that
has nothing to do with AA, and is not from the big book.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 93
Wow, this is the most helpful thing I've read about addressing my substance abuse problem. Although many of my friends have been helped by AA and I have a lot of respect for the organization and techniques, it never felt right for me. But these suggestions *do* make sense! I love the idea of restructuring life to be really living fully, instead of simply not drinking.
I just went through a very traumatic time, and started drinking heavily to cope -- for example, I could not stop shaking without it. Now I can see that I absolutely have to stop for a time, or forever. I gained a huge amount of weight, then fell and caused an injury that limited exercise. I am self-employed at home, single, and that didn't help my lack of discipline at all. I'm very social and started hitting the happy hour far too hard because of loneliness.
My behavior has progressed so that I do pretty well for awhile, and then one night sets off a sort of binge as I self-medicate. I am fairly high-functioning, but not getting any younger and my health will soon suffer. I could have a fantastic life if when I stop drinking. I've managed to attend several social events without drinking lately, and lo and behold, I had a much better time and even picked up some clients! Otherwise I have never smoked, don't drink coffee, and eat fairly healthfully. The drinking began at age 15 while at boarding school and has continued for over 30 years.
I've hired a life coach who's also a homeopath, and she is helping a lot. One of the things that has made me most unhappy is that although I went through a career change, I kept one foot in my old world -- one I didn't choose and honestly hated. The minute I pulled that foot out, I felt so much better. She's having me fulfill my social needs by planning ahead to attend events, take classes at my gym during the witching hour, start volunteering, and avoid my old drinking friends.
Anyway, this seemed to be a very popular thread. I would love to read about some more members' experiences along these lines. I like the idea of learning new, good habits to substitute for the old ones, as that's really what I believe lies at the root of my drinking patterns. This was inspiring reading!!
I just went through a very traumatic time, and started drinking heavily to cope -- for example, I could not stop shaking without it. Now I can see that I absolutely have to stop for a time, or forever. I gained a huge amount of weight, then fell and caused an injury that limited exercise. I am self-employed at home, single, and that didn't help my lack of discipline at all. I'm very social and started hitting the happy hour far too hard because of loneliness.
My behavior has progressed so that I do pretty well for awhile, and then one night sets off a sort of binge as I self-medicate. I am fairly high-functioning, but not getting any younger and my health will soon suffer. I could have a fantastic life if when I stop drinking. I've managed to attend several social events without drinking lately, and lo and behold, I had a much better time and even picked up some clients! Otherwise I have never smoked, don't drink coffee, and eat fairly healthfully. The drinking began at age 15 while at boarding school and has continued for over 30 years.
I've hired a life coach who's also a homeopath, and she is helping a lot. One of the things that has made me most unhappy is that although I went through a career change, I kept one foot in my old world -- one I didn't choose and honestly hated. The minute I pulled that foot out, I felt so much better. She's having me fulfill my social needs by planning ahead to attend events, take classes at my gym during the witching hour, start volunteering, and avoid my old drinking friends.
Anyway, this seemed to be a very popular thread. I would love to read about some more members' experiences along these lines. I like the idea of learning new, good habits to substitute for the old ones, as that's really what I believe lies at the root of my drinking patterns. This was inspiring reading!!
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,941
One article that is a must read (at least for me) is: Google AVRT in a Nutshell. That gets to the basics of addiction from a secular POV. Also knowing what the latest understanding of addictions (from a scientific standpoint) is a helpful thread in Secular Connections : Science articles and research links is also a must read.
It is good to know that there is more than one way to be recovered from the seemingly hopeless malady as alcoholism. For some its AA, for others like myself its a comprehensive addiction treatment program that brings me out of the hellish lifestyle of addiction into the gracious living free from addiction.
Anywho I'm glad you decided to join SoberRecovery.com and hope to see more of you around as you 
share your recovery journey.
__________________
It is good to know that there is more than one way to be recovered from the seemingly hopeless malady as alcoholism. For some its AA, for others like myself its a comprehensive addiction treatment program that brings me out of the hellish lifestyle of addiction into the gracious living free from addiction.
Anywho I'm glad you decided to join SoberRecovery.com and hope to see more of you around as you share your recovery journey.__________________
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
That being said, after my second baby was born I resumed drinking ...but only when I go out with my husband on dates about once a month. I wouldn't say I am "white knuckling it" this time though. I can honestly say, that with these changes I've made, I just don't think about drinking very often. I have so many other positive habits and basically a lifestyle that drinking just doesn't fit anymore... for the most part, except when we get a babysitter.
However, I'm not saying I should even be doing it then. I've still got to work on that... because when I do drink, however infrequently it has become, I still am reminded that I tend to drink too much and sometimes I do embarassing things. I also feel terrible the next day from a hang over and emotionally guilty.
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The above quote reminds me that I can't do it on my own. LBW has done all of the things that I have tried to do to control my drinking. The difference is she actually did them, but all I did was talk about them. Even with all of the impressive accomplishments there is still a loss of control, hangovers, guilt, etc... Why on earth would a person CHOSE to do that? My point is nobody would - especially someone as rational as LBW (very well written and thought out post). It's my argument is that it isn't a choice. It just reinforces what my big book tells me. I am not trying to "sell" AA. I just think that to admit powerlessness over a controlled substance makes sense.
I wish you the best of luck. I hope that I can also lose weight and get in shape. I just know that my best thinking never could fully protect me from the first drink. Once I have that one drink, it's on like donkey kong... Thanks for posting!
However, I'm not saying I should even be doing it then. I've still got to work on that... because when I do drink, however infrequently it has become, I still am reminded that I tend to drink too much and sometimes I do embarassing things. I also feel terrible the next day from a hang over and emotionally guilty.
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The above quote reminds me that I can't do it on my own. LBW has done all of the things that I have tried to do to control my drinking. The difference is she actually did them, but all I did was talk about them. Even with all of the impressive accomplishments there is still a loss of control, hangovers, guilt, etc... Why on earth would a person CHOSE to do that? My point is nobody would - especially someone as rational as LBW (very well written and thought out post). It's my argument is that it isn't a choice. It just reinforces what my big book tells me. I am not trying to "sell" AA. I just think that to admit powerlessness over a controlled substance makes sense.
I wish you the best of luck. I hope that I can also lose weight and get in shape. I just know that my best thinking never could fully protect me from the first drink. Once I have that one drink, it's on like donkey kong... Thanks for posting!
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