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Hi,

I began drinking when I was 13....by the time I was 17 it was a pretty full blown problem...almost daily black outs, shakes, hallucinations, the whole deal. I struggled on and off with trying to get sober. I then got pregnant at the age of 20....I stopped drinking, so I thought I was better.

For the next few years, I drank only occasionally, sometimes heavily, sometimes not, but never unless it was a night out with friends and my son was away for the weekend, so I still thought I was better.

I managed to get through school and get my nursing degree as a single mother. My occasional drinking had progressed to almost every weekend.

In February 2009 I was in an accident ( I was not driving) in which the the people in the other car were killed. A father and two children. I got out to help, ( I was fine, and so was my son ,thankfully). It was the husband and children of a woman I had grown up and gone to school in the same small town with.

In May 2009, my father passed away unexpectedly, after a two week stay in the CICU, 5 hours away from me. Trying to be with him, work, and look after my child was almost impossible. He ended up dying alone. To make my guilt worse, I am actually a hospice nurse, was at work that night. Sitting with someone else, because I believe in a person's right to not die alone.

My father was an alcoholic, and I began drinking more frequently after his death. With his drinking buddies, actually. I told myself I was paying "respect" to my dad. ( I am able to convince myself of anything if I want a drink.)

I had a falling out with my best of friend of 14 years, and my other two best friends moved across country for work. I lost most of my support system.

On Dec 30th, I woke up to the news that another friend of 15 years had passed away in a car accident. I began drinking that day as soon as the store opened, and that basically began a few month long binge.

I was back to drinking in the morning, drinking for 2-3 days at a time, passing out in the afternoon....I ended up losing my job.

So, here I am at 31, back to work ( but only part time so struggling financially) and sober again. This time however, I am working on Recovery. I am in therapy and attending groups. I have learned that "not drinking" is not enough....otherwise, as soon as life gets rough, I am not able to handle it. Major realization time, so hopefully this time it works.

Sorry for the long introduction post, I typed it out as much for me as an introduction...looking forward to having the support and conversation with other people from the board....I think it will help.

Welcome to SR, northend :)
Good to have you with us :)

D

Welcome, Northend! Please keep coming back - SR is AWESOME!

Hello Northend.

I get where you're coming from with your story. I am glad you shared a lengthy introduction.

I took my first drink at 14. That night, I drank until I got drunk and puked. Miserable! I now think I was an alcoholic from that day forward, even though I wasn't able to get my hands on alcohol regularly until several years later.

Like you, I was able not to drink for long stretches at a time. I was even able to drink in moderation. Then, again just like you, I had a big blow up in my life. That started the drinking in earnest. My true binge went on for about 3.5 years, though I'd been a heavy drinker for years before that.

It's weird when you reach that point that you've jacked up your life so badly that you realize you need to quit. It's like standing in the eye of the hurricane.

I'm so glad you've been able to step away from your drinking and get help. Stick with whatever you're doing; it seems to work. SR is a great place to get support. The people here are very friendly and helpful.

I'm glad you're here.

:welcome

Welcome to the forum! Tons of support here, you will never feel alone. Read as much as you can and keep posting :)

Congrats on choosing sobriety!
xoxo

Welcome! I hope you like it here!

Welcome to the family!:)

Welcome.

Welcome to our recovery community.....:wavey:

Many of us are winning over alcohol...and
that can be true for you too.....:yup:

Welcome! You have been <i>through</i> it & major kudos to you for pulling out with all of that in your head, Northend. Good for you.

You've got a support system now, that's for sure! ( :

Welcome, glad you're here.

Life is a lot better, sober.