overcomer32

Hi there,

Knowing I need to quit and coming down to the wire, but having lost all extrinsic motivation to do so. Ive heard ppl say u have to WANT IT for YOURSELF.... i dont and never have..... but i cant waste/lose any more time... I must quit drinking now. What can I do to motivate myself, is there anything??

Im not a huge fan of AA.... mainly cuz I dont like to go out! How does one STAY stopped?

Horror stories dont seem to affect me nor anything else. Drinking has cost me some things... not a ton, but enough. I just always find reasons to start up again.

Thanks for listening.


O

Dee74

Hi Overcomer

I didn't have much internal motivation either. Whatever I lost, I rationalised away.
I was ok.

You can do it the way I did and stubbornly cling to the idea that something will happen one day, and not do anything...

something happened alright - I ended up drinking all day every day and nearly died.
I don''t recommend it.

You've been here a while I see. You must have a lot of evidence stacked up to suggest there's a lot of good reasons to quit right now. Read some old posts.

Do something different.

It will hurt, you will have to break out of your comfort zone and it may be a more than just a little pain in the butt...but you won't regret it.

I didn't. I have 3 wonderful years of living. I wish I'd done it sooner.

D

lildawg

My rapidly declining physical and mental health motivated me to quit. I realized that, if I continued, I was about to start crossing the line into very, seriously, can't come back from it, sick. I hurt, both mentally and physically, all the time.

My family had started to look at me the way you look at that relative who has a terminal illness. It's this sad, but helpless look. They started distancing themselves from me, as though they'd given up. That's when I knew I wasn't being a drama queen.

Lastly, there was something I wanted, very badly. I knew I couldn't do this thing if I was drunk.

Once I gave up the perennial hangover, I didn't want it back. I knew I couldn't drink normally, and I didn't even want to try. I guess, if I wanted to say it in a short phrase, I would say, "I was whipped."

TheEnd

I have tons of reasons of why I should have quit, multiple duis, car crashes, destroying my life with my partner, but none of those really made me quit.

One day after a binge I decided I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and knew I did not want to revisit this feeling again. It has to come from within, if you're not there then hopefully you won't expeirience too many harsh consequences before you finally wake up.

LaFemme

I can't say that anything actually motivated me to quit per se. I wanted to quit for five years, tried a hundred times...every night I told myself this was the last time and then drank again the next day...the last day I drank was the day of the world cup finals...drank all day needed and wine. I never thought it was my last day. The next day I was so sick, miserable ...I never used to get sick from it. Barely tolerated the train ride home...I was a wreck...still I bought a 1.5 liter bottle of wine to drink that night. Took the dogs to the park despite feeling like hell. I was talking to a nice, attractive guy and couldn't even enjoy it. I drove home and poured my self a glass of wine. I could not drink it. I forced a swallow and gagged. I stared at the glass for half an hour, got up poured it down the drain and got myself another glass, I tried to drink it for about an hour, I could not do it. I poured it out and got another glass. I gave up on that one after about a half an hour. I went to the kitchen and poured all the alcohol down the drain and went to bed.

I consider that night an act of God. Staying sober has been a combination of work and finally putting together all the tools I learned about over the years.

I don't have a family who inspired me to quit, my career is still a muddle. When I quit I certainly didn't do it out of any self love...although that is changing gradually.

If I had to say why I quit its because I realized that if I wanted to commit suicide drinking myself to death wasn't the way to go. And while I didn't want to commit suicide I didn't want to live either which is essentially the same thing.

LexieCat

I don't know that reading other people's experiences will make you want to quit. The motivation has to come from within.

I was pretty damn desperate when I gave up, threw in the towel, and quit battling alcohol. I can't fight it--it will beat me every time.

I hope you're done with it before you do too much damage to yourself or others.

sleepie

I want to lose weight, and I don't want health problems in the future.

artsoul

I'm really not sure I ever wanted to quit - I just wanted the pain to stop. Even when I didn't drink all that much the night before, I'd still wake up with a hangover. My body was trying to tell me that it really wasn't able to process alcohol anymore.

I got tired of giving in to this chemical and letting it control my life. Even though I felt the same as LaFemme (not caring if I lived), I knew I'd have to go through losing everything, getting hospitalized, and watching my children agonize over it, before I got around to dying. I was already having a hard enough time functioning. I was just way too tired to face even more physical, mental and emotional problems.

The good news is that after being sober for a week or two, I actually started to smile again and care again. I even cared about ME. What a concept!

Hope you find a reason to stop, too.

Supercrew

I was lucky, because I wanted to quit for myself so I could enjoy the rest of my life with my son and my family. I had an immediate motivation because of a really bad withdrawal I went through, even though that motivation wasn't really there the 10 years prior.

Once I quit for a period of time I realized that I didn't miss it anymore. I realized that it didn't do what it used to do for me. I matured 27 years in the course of a couple of months. There was nothing in my life that needed the alcohol anymore, and that was probably the case for the past 20 years, but I had never really given myself the opportunity to see it because I was so focused on the next time I was going to get drunk.

I have always associated good feelings with drinking, because all of my earliest drinking memories were good times. With time to reflect over the last 20 years of my drinking life it was much more clear to see that there were alot more negative episodes than I can count or even care to remember, and now that is what I associate with drinking. Drinking is not fun for me anymore, so why do something that is not fun and I know could have negative reprecussions? I would have to be insane or a masochist to pick up a drink again. So those are my motivations, I hope they help.

CarolD

I consider the final 5 years that I drank....I had ..unnoticed
slid into active alcoholism.

My drinking had turned me into a woman I detested.
External circumstances had nothing to do with the fact
my life was meaningless
. I felt I had saturated both brain and soul.
Al my fun bottles were empty.

Depression is why I began AA....at the suggestion of my psychiatrist .

Why do I remain sober? Geez! why on earth would I not


Hope you too will find the joy of becomeing a recovered alcoholic........

nandm

What motivated me to quit? That is a good question.

In the last part of my drinking in the middle of a drunk I fell both forwards and then backwards hitting with my head first both times. This gave me a concussion injury to both the front and back of my brain. In retrospect I am very lucky to be alive and not have had my daughter find me dead that morning. That incident scared me and I swore off drinking.

I spent the next 6 months not drinking. But as always I decided that I could have just one drink. I started off drinking "non alcoholic" drinks and beer. That led to just one glass of Amareto on the rocks. Which led to the next night 2 drinks and the next 4 and the old pattern was set. I knew that I was going to come to the point that I always did when I "quit drinking" of it being completely out of control. I was scared because it finally dawned on me that my drinking was just a slow suicide that was killing not only me but everyone around me that cared about me. It was then that I knew I had to do something drastic.

I had given up on the God of my childhood, Christianity, long ago but I prayed for the first time in many years. I asked any God that would hear me to either give me the strength to kill myself or give me a way to stop drinking and stay stopped. The next morning the first thing that crossed my mind was "call Kat" Kat was a lady who had let me know she was in AA and let me know that if I needed help she would be there. It took me two weeks to get the courage up to call her but when I did she was there. She took me to my first AA meeting that evening and many others over the next month. I have been sober every since and it has been nearly 10 years.

I can not say that sobriety has been easy as real life means that some ****** things happen sometimes and unfortunately a lot has hit me in sobriety. But the one thing is I have not had to drink around these things. I can not say that I have not thought about it or wanted to drink at times but what I can say is that the craving/obsession was gone. I no longer spun on getting a drink. It did not dominate my thoughts like it did before AA and this sobriety.

If you do not like AA please check into other recovery programs there are many out there and others have had success with them. I encourage you to look at the recovery list that is a sticky in this forum. Here is the link: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html Hang in there it does get easier to not drink over time.

Cottonwoodchris

My health has made me quit both times. First time was May 2007, kidneys and liver stopped working. Was on a kidney machine for 5 weeks, then a gift from God, kidneys started working again! That was all due to 20 years or so cronic drinking and drugs. Was sober and clean for 3 years. One night, my alcoholic brain said, "hey, you can have just one. Come on, it will make you feel better" Uhhhh, no. We all know the answer to that. But I started up again, picking up right where I left off. September 1st found me passing out at work, taken to the ER. Blood test showed .31% alcohol. But, I wasn't getting drunk, just drinking to be "normal"

Detox was hell. Needed a DR and some meds for this one. I never ever want to go thru that again. Ever. I don't want or need a third wake up call. It's done. Day 28 and feeling fine. I go to NA meetings because in my area they are better suited to who I am. You should really try and find some kind of support group. It helps so much. All my best wishes for you.

tallcactus

Too many consequences and probable "future" ones, that I wasn't looking forward too.
It just was not fun anymore.

Bugzer

in a nutshell, what motivated me to finally quit was to prove
to myself that I can... my ego took over and I finally had enough
I was beyond sick and tired of being sick and tired...

Alcohol has beaten me into the ground with a vengeance
I've had more then 10 panic attacks in 2 years I had
been to the emergency room 5 times because I thought
I could beat the DT's without medical assistance that's
how badly I wanted to quit.... that's how insane I got
thinking I could beat the DT's on my own without meds
like somehow I was different and my body chemestry was
not like yours in a sense I was still trying to prove to myself
I wasn't an alcoholic but I am.

The last 4 days of my drinking went something like this
(and by the way this isn't the worst thing that has happened
but when this did happen I finally had enough)

First let me say I was a daily drinker for about 14 years
I woke up on a friday morning, the night before I had
maybe 10 drinks, this is nothing for me it was enough
to put me to sleep I felt like crap the whole day I tried
to eat and didn't have the will or energy to eat I didn't
even have the energy to chew I sat in bed all day by
nightfall I started drinking on and empty stomach.
Next day I feel even worse then the night before
I manage to eat two sandwiches all day and again
at night I'm drinking enough to fall asleep.
By the fourth day it escalated even further I felt
worse and worse each day. The only energy I had
was enough to go take a **** and head back and
lie down in bed drink to pass out, these last 4 days
I can't really say I was drunk because I didn't feel
drunk I just felt calm enough to pass out I guess
you could say i had a mild buzz so I can pass out.

On the final day I really had enough, forced myself
to drink 2 liters of orange juice and ate some bread
I called a taxi and dragged my ass to the emergency
room, by this point I was already going into the DT's
in less then 24hours since my last drink.
I waited four 4 hours to see a doctor I told him to
please give me something I can withdraw on cause
I couldn't go on drinking anymore.
He gave me something mild to withdraw on which
calmed me down enough so I can pass out, I
woke up after 3 hours still feeling like crap I went
to my doctor he gave me benzos to withdraw on
then I got my ass to AA cause I finally had enough.

Kmber2010

For me, I had years of reasons to quit but the last time was one said never will I drink again.

My husband was on a mission and gone, I had no idea when he would be back. I was alone, overseas in Germany with a busted ankle. I had just relapsed and had become so hopeless and depressed that I cut everyone off. I at that point....had no one.

In my all day drunken binge, paralyzing panic attacks and barely remembering what I had done....I remember downing most of the pain meds given to me, mixed with Naproxen and some anti-anxiety meds. I crawled to bed and passed out.

I woke up first thing in the morning vomiting and shaking violently. This went on for over 8 hours straight. I was alone by choice, ruined myself and everything that was good in my life. I laid there thinking....this is it for me....this can't be happening. I want to live, I want to accomplish things.....not a drunk dying on my bathroom floor in a puddle of vomit. People will know that I took all these meds and will think I wanted to kill myself. When I didn't want to kill myself....I wanted the anxiety to stop and I was so drunk that I didn't know what was what. Alcohol had taken over my life.

I prayed to God to give me another chance. If I died, my husband would not have found me for another week when he got home. Literally, no one would have known.

I should have died. I seriously should not be here. Being that I am.....I quit that day for good. Horrible that it took me to almost die to get sober....but nothing is as bad...as getting that close to death. Its quite painful to be honest and a horrible way to die.

That is my story.....the bottom line day I got sober.

FBL

I woke up one morning with an overwhelming feeling that I was going to die. I went to work and started babbling to my co-workers that I was going to die and there was nothing anybody could do about it. I'd never felt such feelings in my entire life. I went to the emergency room and told the doctor everything about my drinking. He said I was "probably" an alcoholic (ha!) and that if I didn't stop, I would continue to get these panic attacks and they would only get worse. As soon as he said that a little light went off in my head. That was 15+ months ago. I haven't touched a drop of alcohol since and my life continues to only get better and better.

SSIL75

I was just so tired of it. I knew I was lying to myself. Waking up in the middle of the night seized with panic at the thought of my kids crying at my funeral. Living life always feeling like someone was going to 'find out'. I had pockets of sobriety and it was enough for me to realize that a great life was waiting.

leo21

Many things:

I got tired of waking up in the middle of the night feeling guilty and anxious and worrying all the time.

I made enough money to pay the bills and save for my family - started taking out payday loans left and right on the internet just to make ends meet. Nothing but trouble.

I got tired of walking around with a constant buzz, acid reflux, pain in my right side, poor physical wellbeing.

I got tired of never having money to even order a pizza, take my family out to eat, take a mini vacation, do small special things for my wife and kids.

I got tired of being sick and tired. I became angry and dissapointed, finally, at myself. That man in the mirror was ruining his life and taking down his family secretly with him.

Nearly a month later, I'm finding myself, saving money, doing things with my lil family, able to go out on a date with my wife, give my kids $ to go do things with their friends.

It is VERY liberating to actually say to someone or to myself, to proclaim: I don't drink.

But guess what? Is my life now perfect? Nope. All that damage done, loan companies I owe, bills to be caught up on, etc are still there for me to face and to fix. I figured if it took me 5 years to tear it all up it's probably gonna take 5 years to fix it all again. I'm cool with that. But I remind myself each day that I have to fix things slowly and I have to do it sober. I could get a drink - but after it's gone all those problems are still right there waiting for me.
I had to accept that 100% before moving forward. There is a lot of wishing and wanting inside of me. Alot of that instant gratification that I can't have. But, like I said, I'm cool with that.

My motivation today is that I owe it to myself and to my household to be the man, husband, and father that I need to be and by my actions set the example of love, patience, mercy, and grace, among other things.

DayTrader

What motivated me to quit..... LOL.

Nothing. I never was motivated to quit. I liked drinking, thought I could straighten my life out (once I got past all these dui's I mean... ) and frankly figured I would NEVER quit. I'd maybe go to AA for a while, learn how they quit, apply part of their program to me so I can just moderate and that would be that.

Fortunately, a judge had a better grasp of my condition that I do and he slapped a SCRAM Alcohol Monitoring Tether on me for 9 months. Bam......no more drinking for me. Done. Touch a drop and you'll be in jail by the next afternoon. Listerine even showed up in that thing...ugh.

The only reason I stopped is, I believe, because I used to pray and beg God to do something to straighten this mess of a life out for me. Never thought His answer and help would come in the form they came in/from but that God's a sneaky dude, yanno. Why.........He's even smarter than I AM!!!! lol

So..... Overcomer, if you're an alcoholic like the AA book talks about (and no, it doesn't matter if you're in aa or not) here's some motivation: if you don't get sober you'll have the displeasure of dying an alcoholic death (which typically means either suicide or liver problems). Hopefully it's one of those two because living in the shame, guilt, the self-hatred......that stuff could go on for many many years.....decades. Yanno, I'd rather be dead than live in that stuff again.

As for how to stay stopped, only way I found was going to AA, working the program, that they told me to, and then noticing I wasn't doing anything to "stay stopped" - some greater power was doing that for me. It's about the easiest way I've ever heard of.... YOU don't do anything to stay stopped, HP takes care of that for ya.

AlcoholicOrNot

Good Post Overcomer! I knew I had to quit 29 years ago while I was partying away in college. Didn't have the motivation to quit so I kept it up all those years but like yourself, deep down inside I knew I had to stop.

Since stories don't motivate you, I won't tell the numerous ones I have at the tip of my tongue.

For me, I'm looking at the future. I don't want to look back and say to myself, "I wish I would have done things differently." When I'm not working any longer, I want to be able to enjoy each day, mentally and physically to its fullest. Alcohol, quite possibly (and most likely) may take much of my mental and physical capacities away if I kept drinking.

I've realized after only 72 days of abstinence that there's so much more to life than I've been experiencing. Over the last 30 years or so, alcohol has consumed so much of my mental well-being because I had been so caught up each day with: when I'd start drinking, how much I was going to drink, what I'd be drinking...you get the picture.