Sally1009

After a good day yesterday, I woke up this morning feeling awful. I had been dreaming that my lovely husband was alive and well, that his cancer was gone. I often have that dream, and when I wake up it's like losing him all over again. So I feel like a drink to numb the pain... Can anyone give me any tips on how to prevent a relapse? Anything I could eat, for example?
Thanks,
Sally

LexieCat

My own suggestion would be to call someone from AA and meet for breakfast, or go out for tea. You can talk about your feelings and your dream.

I still have many dreams about my mom, to whom I was very close when she died 25 years ago. Though they made me sad in the beginning, I began to enjoy those dreams. I would wake up feeling as if we got to have a visit.

Just don't pick up a drink, no matter what. Your sad feeling will pass.

CarolD

Is there a Greif conselor or group near you?
If not...I bet you could find a group on line....

Yes...call someone from AA...take a walk...cry if necessary
Don't forget to eat and drink a lot of water.

All my best Sally.....
Yes! you too can win over a toxic liquid.

Cottonwoodchris

Can't say as far as the grief. Carol's suggestion is probably your best bet. As far as the cravings, I have had good luck with drinking juice, water, maybe some ice cream, a sandwich, just to get something in my stomach. When I'm full, I don't seem to get the cravings. Hope you feel better. All my best wishes.

stugotz

How about one serving of pride, followed by a call to your sponser? Good luck, you can make it through this.

Sally1009

Thanks guys,
Made it to bed without a drink -5 days now. Still a bit blue, but not as bad as earlier. Juice helped a lot, plus lots of fizzy water and a curry! Didn't make it to a meeting unfortunately as my dizzy son got the directions wrong and we spent miles going round and round in deep country.
Still, it kept me sober - now 11pm here in the UK, so will go tomorrow.
Hey - if I'm ahead of you all I could tell you what happened in the news this evening!!
Love
Sally

Antiderivative

Some tools I learned on how to stay away from that first drink.

1. Once that thought moves in, kill it, and move on to a more positive thought.
2. Remember the first one gets you drunk. I can't have the 16+ beer without the first one.
3. Think the drink through. While a "couple" may sound nice, I over shoot a couple every time and end up drunk late at night and usually in a bad place. I especially hate the morning after.
4. Remember your last drunk, a bad drunk, the stupid stuff you have done, the trouble and pain it has caused, why you are posting here, etc.
5. Reach out for help BEFORE you take your first drink, not AFTER.
6. Remember, it gets better and "this too shall pass".

Probably the most important tool that I learned is remembering that I have a better future by not drinking today. I never woke up and regretted the fact that I didn't drink the night before. I know that you are going through a lost and its painful (I have lost a mother). However, grieving during a hangover is not the solution. As Carol said, maybe looking into grief counseling would be a good idea.

I am sorry to hear about your lost.

Dee74

Hi Sally

I don't think there are any quick fixes.

For now - do whatever you need to do to get through the craving - keep busy, eat something if you're hungry...things like that.

This thread may be helpful to you

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

In the longer term I agree with the other suggestions here - please find a therapist to help you with your grief...and please find a support network, like AA or some other group, to help you with your drinking.

D

walkertall

Enjoy the dream......it's the only way you can spend time with a lost love one. If drinking is a problem for you, then don't drink.......Walker

shaun00

I would suggest a therapist for the grief and a program of recovery for your drinking.
I saw a therapist for some similar issues and then got busy in the book, alcoholics anonymous for the alcoholism.
One knew everything about compounded lose and the other was written by drunks for drunks.
The therapist stopped the dreams and the book pointed me towards something that removed the drinking problem.