Post drinking guilt
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 3
Post drinking guilt
Hey everyone,
I decided to sign up for this forum because I really have no idea where else to turn to vent these thoughts. In short, I'm a 24 year old male who, no matter how many times has tried to stop drinking completely, always manages to end up hammered and browning out. There have been nights where I tell myself "Ok tonight you'll just go out for 1 or 2 beers" and the next thing I know I'm pounding them down just trying to gather the confidence to strike up conversation with a girl there or just doing shots with the guys for the hell of it. I don't consider myself an alcoholic (and maybe I'm wrong about that) because I don't NEED alcohol, but I've come to realize that I think I might have a drinking problem in the sense that when I do go out I really don't stop. I tend to get a little out of control and/or very emotional when I'm in that state. There have been times where I've cried out of nowhere, gotten angry at nothing, or simply just acted in a very strange manor which I would never do sober. When I wake up the next morning, and for several days to follow, I ask myself a thousand times over and over "what the hell did I do last night". It becomes an obsession where I try to piece together the night even though I know I can't. On top of that, I tend to have these outrageous and irrational thoughts about things I MIGHT have done and it makes me that much more depressed. I have a very strong feeling of guilt after a night of drinking like everything I did was absolutely terrible and everyone in the bar took notice, when in reality that has very rarely been the case. Its gotten to the point where I refuse to go back to certain bars or hang outs just because, in my head, the last time I was there I was a disaster and I'm no longer welcome in those places. I'm extremely embarrassed of myself and my self image is at a new time low. I used to go out every weekend. Sometimes even during the week just because "Hey I'm young and trying to have fun". But as of late I really want to quit and get my life back on track. I was sober (aside from 2-3 nights) for 8 months, but the last 3 weeks I've gotten obliterated again about 4 times and every time I've felt the way I described above. Like I'm a failure, an embarrassment, like everyone is going to remember me as "That guy". I just don't feel like the man I should be and I think drinking plays a large roll.
Anyway I'm beginning to lose track of my thoughts here. I hope I don't offend anyone on this site if my "problem" seems petty in comparison. I just felt like I needed to get that little bit off my chest. God forbid I talk to my friends about it, they just say "**** it man you're young, you only live once". And they're right. Which is why I'm looking to live it better.
Thanks for listening.
I decided to sign up for this forum because I really have no idea where else to turn to vent these thoughts. In short, I'm a 24 year old male who, no matter how many times has tried to stop drinking completely, always manages to end up hammered and browning out. There have been nights where I tell myself "Ok tonight you'll just go out for 1 or 2 beers" and the next thing I know I'm pounding them down just trying to gather the confidence to strike up conversation with a girl there or just doing shots with the guys for the hell of it. I don't consider myself an alcoholic (and maybe I'm wrong about that) because I don't NEED alcohol, but I've come to realize that I think I might have a drinking problem in the sense that when I do go out I really don't stop. I tend to get a little out of control and/or very emotional when I'm in that state. There have been times where I've cried out of nowhere, gotten angry at nothing, or simply just acted in a very strange manor which I would never do sober. When I wake up the next morning, and for several days to follow, I ask myself a thousand times over and over "what the hell did I do last night". It becomes an obsession where I try to piece together the night even though I know I can't. On top of that, I tend to have these outrageous and irrational thoughts about things I MIGHT have done and it makes me that much more depressed. I have a very strong feeling of guilt after a night of drinking like everything I did was absolutely terrible and everyone in the bar took notice, when in reality that has very rarely been the case. Its gotten to the point where I refuse to go back to certain bars or hang outs just because, in my head, the last time I was there I was a disaster and I'm no longer welcome in those places. I'm extremely embarrassed of myself and my self image is at a new time low. I used to go out every weekend. Sometimes even during the week just because "Hey I'm young and trying to have fun". But as of late I really want to quit and get my life back on track. I was sober (aside from 2-3 nights) for 8 months, but the last 3 weeks I've gotten obliterated again about 4 times and every time I've felt the way I described above. Like I'm a failure, an embarrassment, like everyone is going to remember me as "That guy". I just don't feel like the man I should be and I think drinking plays a large roll.
Anyway I'm beginning to lose track of my thoughts here. I hope I don't offend anyone on this site if my "problem" seems petty in comparison. I just felt like I needed to get that little bit off my chest. God forbid I talk to my friends about it, they just say "**** it man you're young, you only live once". And they're right. Which is why I'm looking to live it better.
Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Hi Seeker,
Welcome to SR.
Wow, I could've written your thread twenty years ago, and I kept drinking for another twenty years and am now facing the same things you're facing.
Your problem is not "petty", in fact it describes a stage of alcoholism where you may be able to check it now, stop drinking now and save yourself from having many more years of loss, embarrassment, shame, guilt and remorse. Alcohol when used as a social lubricant, a source of courage in meeting someone sets us up for failure, and failure is a huge part of life with alcohol. We fail on multiple levels when we drink, and that's just a fact. We miss important appointments, miss work, miss being there for loved ones and miss developing fully as individuals. Any life built on alcohol use is bound for failure, whether we're young, older, or in between because drunkenness is the ultimate delusion of happiness, it is a farce on a grand scale and will never stand true in the light of day. Having lived as you describe for many years, I can assure you that to continue drinking will only bring you much more heartache than you can imagine, but if you get help now and learn to live without the booze, and build a new life sober, the sky's the limit and you'll live much better than you ever could while drunk and browned out. Hope you stick around and give yourself a chance to discover who you really are without the crutch of alcohol, which eventually becomes a rod by which we beat ourselves senseless. You deserve a great life and it's definitely not in a bottle.
Welcome to SR.
Wow, I could've written your thread twenty years ago, and I kept drinking for another twenty years and am now facing the same things you're facing.
Your problem is not "petty", in fact it describes a stage of alcoholism where you may be able to check it now, stop drinking now and save yourself from having many more years of loss, embarrassment, shame, guilt and remorse. Alcohol when used as a social lubricant, a source of courage in meeting someone sets us up for failure, and failure is a huge part of life with alcohol. We fail on multiple levels when we drink, and that's just a fact. We miss important appointments, miss work, miss being there for loved ones and miss developing fully as individuals. Any life built on alcohol use is bound for failure, whether we're young, older, or in between because drunkenness is the ultimate delusion of happiness, it is a farce on a grand scale and will never stand true in the light of day. Having lived as you describe for many years, I can assure you that to continue drinking will only bring you much more heartache than you can imagine, but if you get help now and learn to live without the booze, and build a new life sober, the sky's the limit and you'll live much better than you ever could while drunk and browned out. Hope you stick around and give yourself a chance to discover who you really are without the crutch of alcohol, which eventually becomes a rod by which we beat ourselves senseless. You deserve a great life and it's definitely not in a bottle.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery site....
Petty? absolutely not. Too young? not at all.
My drinking friends also thought I did not need to quit
but I certainly knew I did....so do you....
That's really wise of you.
When my drinking actions and guilt became intolerable...
I began attending AA.
That gave me a whole new social circle of non drinkers
who were heading into a better future.
Glad you are here...many of us are winning over alcohol
Petty? absolutely not. Too young? not at all.
My drinking friends also thought I did not need to quit
but I certainly knew I did....so do you....
That's really wise of you.
When my drinking actions and guilt became intolerable...
I began attending AA.
That gave me a whole new social circle of non drinkers
who were heading into a better future.
Glad you are here...many of us are winning over alcohol
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by Seeker77 
no matter how many times has tried to stop drinking completely, always manages to end up hammered and browning out...and the next thing I know I'm pounding them down
That is an exact, boiled down description of my relationship with alcohol as well. AA's 12 Steps offers a time-tested set of directions for getting out of this hopeless condition. When I took those directions, I recovered. Anything short of that I failed at.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by Seeker77
I don't consider myself an alcoholic (and maybe I'm wrong about that) because I don't NEED alcohol, but I've come to realize that I think I might have a drinking problem in the sense that when I do go out I really don't stop.
I have a very strong feeling of guilt after a night of drinking like everything I did was absolutely terrible and everyone in the bar took notice, when in reality that has very rarely been the case.
I'm extremely embarrassed of myself and my self image is at a new time low. ......I've felt the way I described above. Like I'm a failure, an embarrassment, like everyone is going to remember me as "That guy". I just don't feel like the man I should be and I think drinking plays a large roll.
I have a very strong feeling of guilt after a night of drinking like everything I did was absolutely terrible and everyone in the bar took notice, when in reality that has very rarely been the case.
I'm extremely embarrassed of myself and my self image is at a new time low. ......I've felt the way I described above. Like I'm a failure, an embarrassment, like everyone is going to remember me as "That guy". I just don't feel like the man I should be and I think drinking plays a large roll.
First off, alcoholics don't necessarily "need" alcohol in the sense I think you're understanding it. I had the same belief as you (helped me "prove" I wasn't an alkie). Alcoholics are ppl who've lost the choice in alcohol - once they (I) start, I can't control it - I almost always end up "over serving myself." (hehe...used to love that line). You don't HAVE to need a drink in you 24 hrs per day to be an alcoholic. If you've got "alcoholic tendencies" and you're still drinking.....odds are you'll end up that way....but needing to be drunk all the time is really just one of the final phases of alcoholism. Real alcoholism starts long before you reach that point.
What put the tear in my eye was your comments about feeling full of guilt, embarrassed, low self image, etc etc.... Brother.....THOSE were the feelings that brought me to my knees. Honestly, I really do think I probably could have physically handled the alcohol for a while longer - maybe quite a while longer. I was "only" drinking a couple half-gallons per week and I didn't drink "every" single day. BUT..... man......those "feelings"..... whoa.....those f'ers didn't STOP. It didn't matter if I was mad at myself for "doing it again" last night or if I was a good boy last night... those damn feelings of guilt, shame, remorse, self hatred, not a REAL man, weak, a fraud, just an actor, not true to yourself..... on and on.... those things were my undoing. The ONLY reason I considered AA was because I got several dui's and was forced to go. When I got there, I realized most everyone there had "those" feelings too....only now, they don't suffer under them anymore.
See, I knew early on drinking wasn't the REAL problem. It created a lot of problems, sure enough, but there was something else "goin on" that just kept messsin' with me. Drinking made whatever "that" was......stop! I could enjoy myself, at least for the evening...and I'll let tomorrow deal with itself. Every "tomorrow" seemed to be filled with more grief, anger, guilt and so on......yet that darn cycle just kept repeating and repeating and repeating.
The booze hurt....the dui's and the punishments really hurt....but those emotions had me considering blowin my brains out. NO person, no court, no hangover EVER hurt as much as that stuff did.
All I'll say (for now) is that I don't live with those monkeys on my back anymore. I've shed some tears in sobriety (heh, probably more than I did in my addiction...truth be told) but I haven't felt "that" way in a long time. ...oh yeah, I haven't drank either! LOL
Alcoholism is about a helluva lot more than "I drink too much." If recovery from alcoholism was just "not drinking anymore" believe me, I'd be back out there drinking myself into blackouts or trying some of the drugs I didn't get to try back when I was using - or I'd be dead or, at the very least, a whole lot closer to taking my own life.
I frickin wake up HAPPY now.... are you kidding me? I rarely ever woke up happy. I wake up and that centrifuge that used to be my brain doesn't spool up like it used to. I don't feel the "need" to drink some confidence because I frickin actually HAVE some.....today......just sitting here.
THAT'S what recovery is all about. It's not "I don't drink anymore" it's "I live a life that I frickin LOVE."
Please.....please consider AA. You're already way more plugged into what's happening in your life then I was. I lived in that misery for a decade...and like I said, I only considered AA when I was forced into it. Think about it.....give it a shot. I'll guarantee you it's not what you think and I can "probably" guarantee you that you'll be glad you went.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 160
Originally Posted by Seeker77
but I've come to realize that I think I might have a drinking problem in the sense that when I do go out I really don't stop.
I was sober (aside from 2-3 nights) for 8 months...
I was sober (aside from 2-3 nights) for 8 months...
Drinking in moderation is way too difficult for me and I must have tried that a few dozen times too. I'd be good for a while just drinking on the weekends but inevitably I'd get blitzed one Friday or Saturday and have the same feelings you have the next morning.
It's been 71 days without a drink for me. I still hang around people who drink and go out but I know I'm better off without alcohol.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 395
Its my opinion that one does not need to alcohol to be a alcoholic. I never needed alcohol. It was never a life or death decision, but I was certainly scared the last time I detoxed from alcohol; I was walking that tight rope.
Its the cravings, obsession, and a large degree of physical, emotional, and mental dependence. When I take that first drink, I kick off a mental obsession coupled with a physical compulsion for more alcohol. When I drink, it becomes a gamble. I don't know what will happen or how much I will ultimately drink.
Like you, I was waken up with guilt, remorse, and feelings of self-loathing. Most of the time, I didn't make a fool out of myself, but I certainly felt that way when I woke up the next day. Couple with the fact that I couldn't remember clearly what I did, didn't help the fact.
Nonetheless, I was drinking to the point where the mental and emotional hangovers were far exceeding the physical hangovers. There were times, when I could put together a few days of not drinking, but it took much longer to recovery from the mental and emotional self-loathing and guilt trips that I was bringing on myself due to my excessive drinking.
Anyways, I am glad that you are recognizing that you have a problem. I hope that you find what you are looking for and take the proper and corrective measures.
Its the cravings, obsession, and a large degree of physical, emotional, and mental dependence. When I take that first drink, I kick off a mental obsession coupled with a physical compulsion for more alcohol. When I drink, it becomes a gamble. I don't know what will happen or how much I will ultimately drink.
Like you, I was waken up with guilt, remorse, and feelings of self-loathing. Most of the time, I didn't make a fool out of myself, but I certainly felt that way when I woke up the next day. Couple with the fact that I couldn't remember clearly what I did, didn't help the fact.
Nonetheless, I was drinking to the point where the mental and emotional hangovers were far exceeding the physical hangovers. There were times, when I could put together a few days of not drinking, but it took much longer to recovery from the mental and emotional self-loathing and guilt trips that I was bringing on myself due to my excessive drinking.
Anyways, I am glad that you are recognizing that you have a problem. I hope that you find what you are looking for and take the proper and corrective measures.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13
Seeker, thanks for your post.
This is exactly how I drank. I was able to abstain on most work nights (with a great deal of irritation and anger, rising in intensity as the week went on) but my weekends were always a binge. I couldn't wait until I had my first drink on Friday after work! Towards the end, I would get depressed and angry when I drank -- even threatening suicide on more than one occasion -- and I would almost always black out. So, I would only drink by myself at home out of fear of what I would do if I drank in a bar, club, or party. My anxiety when I wasn't drinking got really bad.
I had deliberated for years over whether or not I was an alcoholic. This summer, when I was finally ready to admit that I was, I started going to AA meetings. After even more deliberation (and some pessimism), I started working AA's 12 Step program.
For me, the changes that have come along with sobriety have been dramatic. My depression and anxiety and obsession with alcohol have all lessened. My life has been simplified. But most importantly, the spiritual approach outlined in the 12 Steps has introduced an..."energetic calm" to all facets of my life that I had never experienced before. Even before I ever touched alcohol.
I wish you luck no matter what avenue to sobriety you choose! But I really hope that you'll consider AA.
I don't NEED alcohol, but I've come to realize that I think I might have a drinking problem in the sense that when I do go out I really don't stop. I tend to get a little out of control and/or very emotional when I'm in that state. There have been times where I've cried out of nowhere, gotten angry at nothing, or simply just acted in a very strange manor which I would never do sober.
I had deliberated for years over whether or not I was an alcoholic. This summer, when I was finally ready to admit that I was, I started going to AA meetings. After even more deliberation (and some pessimism), I started working AA's 12 Step program.
For me, the changes that have come along with sobriety have been dramatic. My depression and anxiety and obsession with alcohol have all lessened. My life has been simplified. But most importantly, the spiritual approach outlined in the 12 Steps has introduced an..."energetic calm" to all facets of my life that I had never experienced before. Even before I ever touched alcohol.
I wish you luck no matter what avenue to sobriety you choose! But I really hope that you'll consider AA.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 138
Same story and same age as me, couldn't moderate & drank too much on weekends, stupid/weird **** ensued.
Stopped ~1.5 months ago after a DUI and short of the issues that has caused its been a very very enjoyable period. I completely lost my will to drink which is somewhat of a miracle it finally occurred, there had been soooo many other instances that should have convinced me yet I persisted with lying to myself. Nowadays I remember the weekend nights, don't have to be ashamed of myself, don't have to apologize to anyone, don't have to figure out if I should apologize to anyone, etc. Worked out well universally too, 2 weekends ago some random drunk dude came up to a friends house and tried to party/pick a fight with our group. Had I not been sober to defuse the situation I'm pretty sure it would have gotten much uglier. This weekend my friend calls me Sunday morning @ 2am and his car had broken down, I was the only one he knew that was up and sober that could help. I'm just an insanely better and much more useful person to the world and myself when sober.
It doesn't matter if you call yourself an alcoholic, a person that has problems with drinking, Mike Ditka, etc...if you keep having problems due to drinking you might want to do something about it.
Stopped ~1.5 months ago after a DUI and short of the issues that has caused its been a very very enjoyable period. I completely lost my will to drink which is somewhat of a miracle it finally occurred, there had been soooo many other instances that should have convinced me yet I persisted with lying to myself. Nowadays I remember the weekend nights, don't have to be ashamed of myself, don't have to apologize to anyone, don't have to figure out if I should apologize to anyone, etc. Worked out well universally too, 2 weekends ago some random drunk dude came up to a friends house and tried to party/pick a fight with our group. Had I not been sober to defuse the situation I'm pretty sure it would have gotten much uglier. This weekend my friend calls me Sunday morning @ 2am and his car had broken down, I was the only one he knew that was up and sober that could help. I'm just an insanely better and much more useful person to the world and myself when sober.
It doesn't matter if you call yourself an alcoholic, a person that has problems with drinking, Mike Ditka, etc...if you keep having problems due to drinking you might want to do something about it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 3
Wow, first off I just want to say thank you to everyone who responded. It's been awhile since I last checked this. Since I posted I have gone out a few times. Most of which went well and I was proud of myself for being able to know my limit and say enough is enough. Two days ago however, I had the same old thing happen . . 1-2 beers turned into a night out. One second I was at the bar and the next thing I know I'm on my couch still wearing my clothes with vomit on the floor. No idea how I got there. Oddly enough the guilt and shame isn't as bad as the last times. Although, my mind is definitely going crazy trying to figure out what happened. Did I hurt anyone, upset someone, do something crazy, hook up with someone, etc. etc. (Most likely none of those things, but the thoughts still haunt me). Anyway, I think I'm going to take the advice of a few of you who posted and look into some AA groups around my area. I realize now that there are bigger issues I need to focus on sober. Part of the reason I drink is because I'm very down about life, where I'm going in it, and how I live.
Thanks again for the feedback and advice everyone. I plan on coming back here a lot more often than every 2 weeks like the last time. Take care for now and good luck to everyone.
Thanks again for the feedback and advice everyone. I plan on coming back here a lot more often than every 2 weeks like the last time. Take care for now and good luck to everyone.
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
Originally Posted by Seeker77
Hey everyone,
I don't consider myself an alcoholic (and maybe I'm wrong about that) because I don't NEED alcohol, but I've come to realize that I think I might have a drinking problem in the sense that when I do go out I really don't stop.
I don't consider myself an alcoholic (and maybe I'm wrong about that) because I don't NEED alcohol, but I've come to realize that I think I might have a drinking problem in the sense that when I do go out I really don't stop.
First off, an "alcoholic" is a layman's term. The proper DSM diagnosis would be Alcohol Dependence or Alcohol Abuse. That being said, based on the information you provided you would be classified with at least Alcohol Abuse. (I'm studying all this for my PhD).
But who cares about the logistics, the point is you do not like the way things are going and have a desire to change.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi Seeker and welcome! I will let you in on a little secret...you may drink because you are kind of down on life right now...but life is so much better sober. When I was drinking I think there was a part of me that knew this might be true...but I was so scared that I might quit and life wouldn't be better that I put it off for years. I'm happy to report that life on the other side is much better than life on the drinking side.
Stick around....:-D
Stick around....:-D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: southern U.S.
Posts: 153
Welcome, Seeker.
You might be young, but you have the intelligence/courage to realize that you have a serious problem.
At your age, I had only been drinking two years, but I was already out of control. Around that time, a doctor suggested that I "nip it in the bud" (my drinking problem) before it got any worse. And it did get much worse.
Whether you're an alcoholic or a problem drinker, this is bound to get worse for you.
You might be young, but you have the intelligence/courage to realize that you have a serious problem.
At your age, I had only been drinking two years, but I was already out of control. Around that time, a doctor suggested that I "nip it in the bud" (my drinking problem) before it got any worse. And it did get much worse.
Whether you're an alcoholic or a problem drinker, this is bound to get worse for you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Hi Seeker,
Thanks for posting this. You will have to take my comments with pinch of salt as I'm not very good at this 'life thing' recently...
My own (solely personal) observation is that as we age and progress in our alcoholism, the symptoms of emotional pain and guilt caused by drinking grow stronger to the point where they can sometimes overwhelm the physical effects. This causes self-reinforcement of the dependent behaviour and the real physical damage then follows.
After 8 or 9 weeks of sobriety many months ago, a single beer was enough to cause a reaction in me way beyond ordinary guilt (best described as fear). Perhaps this could have been caused directly by the chemcial itself but I doubt it. There's a lesson in there somewhere on the power of the addicted mind.
Thanks for posting this. You will have to take my comments with pinch of salt as I'm not very good at this 'life thing' recently...
My own (solely personal) observation is that as we age and progress in our alcoholism, the symptoms of emotional pain and guilt caused by drinking grow stronger to the point where they can sometimes overwhelm the physical effects. This causes self-reinforcement of the dependent behaviour and the real physical damage then follows.
After 8 or 9 weeks of sobriety many months ago, a single beer was enough to cause a reaction in me way beyond ordinary guilt (best described as fear). Perhaps this could have been caused directly by the chemcial itself but I doubt it. There's a lesson in there somewhere on the power of the addicted mind.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 4
Hey Seeker,
Great post. Just wanted to let you know that I am going through a very similar situation and know all about the "guilt" you described. I go through the exact same irrational behavior of obsessing about what happened the night before.
It sounds like in both our cases that our friends like to go out and drink, so I know how hard it is to be the odd man out. I had quit drinking for over four months twice in past year but relapsed this past weekend. Similar situation: bar with buddies to watch a game, brown out, miserable for the past two days, etc.
I encourage you to commit to sobriety...never have I been happier than when I made the decision to stop drinking.
Hope to see you back here soon.
Great post. Just wanted to let you know that I am going through a very similar situation and know all about the "guilt" you described. I go through the exact same irrational behavior of obsessing about what happened the night before.
It sounds like in both our cases that our friends like to go out and drink, so I know how hard it is to be the odd man out. I had quit drinking for over four months twice in past year but relapsed this past weekend. Similar situation: bar with buddies to watch a game, brown out, miserable for the past two days, etc.
I encourage you to commit to sobriety...never have I been happier than when I made the decision to stop drinking.
Hope to see you back here soon.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 16
Seeker,
As someone who is 26 I know exactly how it feels to have your entire peer group's social life be based on drinking. What do we do when we want to hang out? Go to the bar! How do we socialize after a long day at work? Go to the bar! It's really difficult to say no when society is telling us that these are the years of our lives when we should be out and drinking and having fun! And isn't college just about playing beer pong anyway? But the more I think about it the more I realize that I CAN'T say no. And that is the real difference between me and my peers. When the weekend is over I still want to drink, need to drink. So, I get it. I figure that if I can get it under control now, that I still have a full life ahead of me where, hopefully, I can be alcohol free. And remember what I did the night before.
Emma
As someone who is 26 I know exactly how it feels to have your entire peer group's social life be based on drinking. What do we do when we want to hang out? Go to the bar! How do we socialize after a long day at work? Go to the bar! It's really difficult to say no when society is telling us that these are the years of our lives when we should be out and drinking and having fun! And isn't college just about playing beer pong anyway? But the more I think about it the more I realize that I CAN'T say no. And that is the real difference between me and my peers. When the weekend is over I still want to drink, need to drink. So, I get it. I figure that if I can get it under control now, that I still have a full life ahead of me where, hopefully, I can be alcohol free. And remember what I did the night before.
Emma
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 226
Seeker,
How have the past two weeks been since you last posted? I know there are bound to be a lot of false starts, but I hope you did look into AA, because that's the only way I know (for me, personally) to quit drinking for good. By the way, at first I hated AA, but I gave it more than one chance (one meeting), and am starting to feel much more connected to myself; and my self-esteem and self-conept have improved greatly in the past 10 days (I am newly sober again after a nine-month relapse). I know you may be thinking that because I relapsed, AA doesn't in fact work. Well, it works if you work it. I became complacent, let grad school start becoming my Higher Power, stopped going to meetings regularly, and was not working with a sponsor. It was a true recipe for disaster.
Don't wait to hit your true bottom. Don't wait for inevitable negative consequences. Start living a sober life now. Remember to keep it in the day (just for today), and let tomorrow take care of itself. Best to you....
How have the past two weeks been since you last posted? I know there are bound to be a lot of false starts, but I hope you did look into AA, because that's the only way I know (for me, personally) to quit drinking for good. By the way, at first I hated AA, but I gave it more than one chance (one meeting), and am starting to feel much more connected to myself; and my self-esteem and self-conept have improved greatly in the past 10 days (I am newly sober again after a nine-month relapse). I know you may be thinking that because I relapsed, AA doesn't in fact work. Well, it works if you work it. I became complacent, let grad school start becoming my Higher Power, stopped going to meetings regularly, and was not working with a sponsor. It was a true recipe for disaster.
Don't wait to hit your true bottom. Don't wait for inevitable negative consequences. Start living a sober life now. Remember to keep it in the day (just for today), and let tomorrow take care of itself. Best to you....
31/10/10
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 241
thanks seeker for this post - and all the other members offering their knowledge and experience!
I have only come to realise these last few days, that people who drink alcohol normally, even if they do wake up with a hangover occaisonally, don't have this guilt, anguish and selfhatred which I do... This has been a big big lightbulb moment for me.
Something more we have in common - I am in the right place here.
vee
I have only come to realise these last few days, that people who drink alcohol normally, even if they do wake up with a hangover occaisonally, don't have this guilt, anguish and selfhatred which I do... This has been a big big lightbulb moment for me.
Something more we have in common - I am in the right place here.
vee
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
