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Post drinking guilt

Old 11-07-2010, 04:42 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Hey Seeker,

It's great to see another young adult on here! I'm a 20 year old female and can relate to this. From what others have told me, the fact that you're concerned about it means you have reason to be concerned. Normal drinkers don't worry about it. If they do, they adjust their behavior and move on. You don't have to call yourself an alcoholic if you don't want to, but you have identified a problem.

I go to a small school and I'm "that girl." It does cause a lot of guilt and shame. There are places I avoid even though I'm not technically banned from them anymore. I feel like people are staring at me even if they're not. Many of them probably are. It's amazing how the things you don't remember can be the memories that haunt you most.

I hope you stick around here. I've only been here for a few days too and everyone has been incredibly supportive.
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Old 11-08-2010, 06:45 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by WatchTheSky View Post
It's amazing how the things you don't remember can be the memories that haunt you most.
Nicely put, and so true
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Old 11-08-2010, 09:49 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Seeker you are not alone in how you feel. I just discovered and joined this forum today. I can relate to each and every word you said. I'm beginning my journey today and I wish you nothing but success in yours.
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Old 11-08-2010, 09:56 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Hi Seeker77-

Alcoholism is full of denial my friend. Full of anything we can latch on to to prove to ourselves we are not a bum, drinking under a bridge, wearing a garbage bag for clothes, drinking cheap wine.

Most of us are just "regular" folks with jobs, marriages, cars, children, etc...

We've just simply been born or became "allergic" to alcohol. In short, we've lost all power when it comes to drinking and our choice in that matter. I, honestly, couldn't predict how much and when I'd get drunk. Period. Then the blackouts (or brownouts as you call them) started and my life went downhill pretty quickly (lots of consequences).

Only you can determine if you're al alkie, but your story sounds very familiar in my early stages.

Great job coming here and posting. That took courage. Now whatcha gonna do about it?

Kjell
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Old 11-08-2010, 11:01 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Hi there. I just read your initial post and I could relate to your drinking and the thoughts and emotions you feel after a session. I was wracked with paranoia, anxiety, worry and depression after my drinking binges.

I stopped going out drinking really because of this as like yourself I became paranoid about what I may have said or done to members of staff or other drinkers. So I just drank alone in my room and then on benches when I got threatened with getting kicked out but used to sneak cans and vodka back with me. I was a liability drinking alone too and used to come round from blackouts not remembering if I had left the house and vaguely recalling arguments and crying and shouting but not sure if I dreamt it or not. The anxiety and paranoia was terrible. I found this to be the natural progression of the illness of alcoholism whilst still activiely drinking as those terrible feelings make you drink again to get rid of them.

Reading your second post I also related to in general. The bit about being at the bar and then waking up in your clothes with vomit on the floor and not knowing what the hell happened, man that used to happen most times I would go out to drink.

I'm an alcoholic. I'm 16 months sober today and got sober at 23. For me I had to accept to my innermost self that I'm an alcoholic, I'm also an addict too. I used and continue to use AA, SR, and much wisdom from elsewhere in my recovery.

The real work begins when you put the drink down. Alcoholism is an illness that doesn't go away just because the drink is put down, the drink is merely a symptom in many ways. For me alcoholism is primarily a thinking problem and not a drinking problem so my thinking had to proufoundly change to remain gratefully sober 'one day at a time'.

All The best
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