Letting go...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 41
Letting go...
This is my first post on SR. I'll be 5 months sober in a few days (10/1). I almost died while in detox after 20 years of heavy drinking. I have no intentions of ever drinking again and I've only felt like drinking a couple of times over the last 5 months to escape. These feelings pass quickly after playing out the aftermath of that first drink.
My personal relationship with God has strengthened immensely during my recovery and I went through 8 weeks of therapy (combination in-patient and out-patient) early in my recovery.
However, I'm struggling some in that I've always had a very difficult time of letting go of criticism or feelings of failure when I've let someone down. When I was drinking, alcohol would help me let go of these thoughts, but now I seem to worry about things that are beyond my control to the point where I can't move on to more productive thoughts. I would like to be less concerned about how others think of me.
I'm also having problems with letting go of my worries about my business. I own my own business and sales have been suffering. I'm scared NOT to worry about my business and trusting that God's will be done. I've always worried about my business and it's turned out well. My currents thoughts are: "What if I don't worry? How will things turn out?"
Any thoughts are welcome.
My personal relationship with God has strengthened immensely during my recovery and I went through 8 weeks of therapy (combination in-patient and out-patient) early in my recovery.
However, I'm struggling some in that I've always had a very difficult time of letting go of criticism or feelings of failure when I've let someone down. When I was drinking, alcohol would help me let go of these thoughts, but now I seem to worry about things that are beyond my control to the point where I can't move on to more productive thoughts. I would like to be less concerned about how others think of me.
I'm also having problems with letting go of my worries about my business. I own my own business and sales have been suffering. I'm scared NOT to worry about my business and trusting that God's will be done. I've always worried about my business and it's turned out well. My currents thoughts are: "What if I don't worry? How will things turn out?"
Any thoughts are welcome.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
LOL,
I TOTALLY relate to feeling like you're "falling off at the job" if you don't worry about it. In fact, I've perfected the art form of worrying in lieu of actually doing something about the things I'm worrying about. I'm a world-class worrier.
I tried a little experiment, though, in the past couple of weeks, with a big work project that had me MEGA-worried. I started praying to have the willingness to do the necessary work and turn the outcome over to my HP.
It WORKED. I was much calmer, did a better job, and actually had stretches of time where my stomach wasn't in knots, where I was just rolling with the developments that were occurring.
I think I'm onto something...
I TOTALLY relate to feeling like you're "falling off at the job" if you don't worry about it. In fact, I've perfected the art form of worrying in lieu of actually doing something about the things I'm worrying about. I'm a world-class worrier.
I tried a little experiment, though, in the past couple of weeks, with a big work project that had me MEGA-worried. I started praying to have the willingness to do the necessary work and turn the outcome over to my HP.
It WORKED. I was much calmer, did a better job, and actually had stretches of time where my stomach wasn't in knots, where I was just rolling with the developments that were occurring.
I think I'm onto something...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi Wes
Welcome to SR.
Learning to live in the day was very difficult for me...I'm a forward planner...I'm not a gambler...I like to have my bases covered.
It took me a long time to realise I can still do that...what gets me into trouble tho is when I've done all I reasonably can about something...and then I keep worrying about it after that.
That kind of stress & worry was part of what dragged me to drinking in the first place...so these days I try hard to do whatever I can reasonably do...then let it go.
Same thing goes with things people say...
I figure I'm always trying to do my best, but I'm not that blind I don't know there's not always some room for improvement.
If their criticism is warranted, I should take a look at whatever they've centred on...
if it's not warranted? then it's a complete waste of my time and energy to give it another seconds thought.
Sometimes living up to all this is easier said than done LOL... I'm still a work in progress after 3 years...but I'm trying
Good to have you with us Wes!
D
Welcome to SR.
Learning to live in the day was very difficult for me...I'm a forward planner...I'm not a gambler...I like to have my bases covered.
It took me a long time to realise I can still do that...what gets me into trouble tho is when I've done all I reasonably can about something...and then I keep worrying about it after that.
That kind of stress & worry was part of what dragged me to drinking in the first place...so these days I try hard to do whatever I can reasonably do...then let it go.
Same thing goes with things people say...
I figure I'm always trying to do my best, but I'm not that blind I don't know there's not always some room for improvement.
If their criticism is warranted, I should take a look at whatever they've centred on...
if it's not warranted? then it's a complete waste of my time and energy to give it another seconds thought.
Sometimes living up to all this is easier said than done LOL... I'm still a work in progress after 3 years...but I'm trying
Good to have you with us Wes!
D
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