The bottom.
 

Hi all,

Well, I'm 25, I've been a steady drinker for the past four years, but wow. I have to say that I think I've finally hit rock bottom. I've been drinking insane amounts the past 2 months, and this past week I literally have been waking up and starting. I have always drank excessively when I was younger (had to get drunk to "have fun"), but I'm shocked about how fast I progressed to where I am at right now. I've literally taken this past week of work off, and I told myself it was so I could relax, but it's really so I could just drink. Yesterday for example, I woke up, but some shoes on, drove to the gas station, and picked up a 18. Drank that in a few hours, took a nap, and went back and go another 18. Finished that, and went and got a 12 pack. By that time I was so drunk I could only drink 2 or 3 out of the 12 pack.

I guess this morning I woke up and I've been feeling quite depressed and it's time for me to make a change. I've told myself that in the past, but now, it's gotten to the point where my liver is throbbing in my side, and I'm about to lose my girlfriend, people at my job have really taken notice (I show up red eyed, hungover, and late constantly), and I'm really starting to feel like I'm losing my mind. I think the longest I've stayed sober in the past 4 years is a week or two, so this is going to be a challenge, even though I know most of you have been in the same boat.

I'm not quite sure what route I'm going to take regarding quitting. I have been to a few AA meetings, I'm not sure if it's because I wasn't truly ready to quit drinking or what, because I didn't particularly feel like it would benefit me. I know that many of you have taken that route, and I think I might go to some more meetings, try to get to know some of the people, and really buckle down and do it.

So, I just wanted to introduce myself. I think me being active on this forum on a daily basis is going to help me remind myself why I truly need to quit. Thanks for reading.

Welcome! :wavey:

You'll find a lot of wonderful support here.

Welcome! Please keep us posted on your progress so we can support as best we can!

I really hope you can move forward with your desire to quit.

One thing I can suggest is for you to read literature on alcoholism. Most of my reading so far has been AA literature, but there's a lot of stuff out there. I see Under the Influence recommended on this forum a good bit. Once you understand the nature of alcoholism, you may have an easier time doing something about your drinking.

I also recommend watching Rain in My Heart, which is a documentary about alcoholism available in its entirety on You Tube.

When you decide what path you want to to take, I'm sure someone will be able to jump in and support you.

Welcome, hope you stick around and see some similarities. Most normal drinkers dont go to AA meeting cause they lack entertainment so if drinking is causing a problem for you them go back and look for those similarities. I hope you find them. Good luck

Hey man-

Good to see that you are deciding to reevaluate things. I was in your same position about 2 weeks ago and decided enough is enough. The site seems a little "superficial" at first as far as how everyone greets you etc, but they are really nice people that you can get a lot of insight from. I mean no disrespect to anyone on here, but this forum is a stark contrast to other forums around the web (which is a good thing, people are actually nice).


Anyway, as they say, keep reading, you will find out things that you maybe didn't understand about your problem in general (both internal and external drinking issues). The people at this site are a great support tool, just read around a bit and I bet you will find someone that you will completely relate to. It helps quite a bit, believe me!

I do AA. When I quit drinking 112 days ago (who's counting though?) i was done. But I didn't know how to do it. I have been drinking for so long. ...about 27 years. I didn't know how to live anymore with it, but I didn't know how to live without it.

Never did I think I would find myself in AA. But I went. Not knowing where else to turn. It has helped me tremendously.

AA will not get nor keep you sober. You have to do that. AA can help you gain the tools to do it, though.

I hear all the time AA isn't for everyone or AA works for a lot of people, but not for me.

I believe AA can help anyone. But that is up to the individual.

Good luck and keep coming back here. Let us know how you are doing.

If you can, it might help to look at it this way: you're consistantly doing things you don't want to be doing (ie drinking, driving drunk to get more, drinking more, driving drunk again, putting stress on your job, feeling like crap physically, feeling guilty and shameful mentally...etc) yet you're continuing to do more if it because, somehow, it seems to make sense. So if doing the opposite makes sense, why WOULD doing the right thing make sense? -Especially when it's contrary to what you're currently doing?

AA doesn't hardly EVER make sense to anyone at first... myself included. I was 99.99999999999999999999999999% convinced "going to meetings" wouldn't make any difference. I was also convinced that "not drinking" would just leave me with the same challenging life only I don't have any fun anymore. Most everyone thinks this way at first and it's complete BS. It's just your false ego and your disease talking - and when we're still IN our disease, those voices are the only ones we can hear.

Welcome. It’s commendable that you recognize you have a problem and you want to do something about it. Read up on alcoholism and recovery, as some others have pointed out. Don’t lose sight of what brought you to SR. And good luck!

Welcome to our SR Alcoholism Forum....:wave:

You might want to check with your doctor about how to
de tox safely......that's always wise

Keep posting with us...many of us are winning over alcohol
:yup:

To the OP, this is about all you need to know about AA, it can help you, but only if you have an open mind about it. A wise person once said to me if you look deep enough you can find value (to you) in everything.

Hey all.
 

Thanks for all of the responses. Like I said, today is day 1 for me, and to be honest it hasn't been too bad, but at the same time I've been hungover all day and I can't wait to just lay in bed. Most of the times when I have "tried to quit" day 3 and 4 would always get to me. I do have a few questions.

1.) Do you guys sweat profusely? I'm not talking about the night sweats or anything else, but actual "I just got out of the shower and it's 68 degree's in my apt. and I'm already dying". I went to Wal-mart and did some chores around town, and I couldn't walk from my car to the front door without dripping. This has caught my attention at other points on my life, I've just never actually asked that question. It's obviously annoying, but it's more embarrassing than anything else.

2.) I think part of the reason I've always failed in the past is that I become bored, because when I'd normally be drinking, I'd just be sitting there. I work full time, and when I'm not hungover I like to exercise, but that still doesn't seem to be enough. My mind is constantly racing and needs something to stimulate or... the case with alcohol, completely numb it. What kind of activities did you guys take up to fill that "void"?

Once again, thanks for the responses. It honestly feels really nice to be able to talk about these problems with others who have dealt/currently are dealing with them. I've tried to talk to some friends in the past, but they just seemed to kind of blow it off and not really listen. So have a nice night all, I'm looking forward to day 2.

jwk - Make sure you see a doctor and be honest about the drinking and symptoms (painful liver, sweating, etc). I had those symptoms as well while drinking. The liver thing fixed itself, but the sweating could be something blood pressure related (as it was with me) or maybe ur just a naturally sweaty person? Who knows... I'd start there. I'm not that much older than you and drinking was already causing me various health problems that needed attention, so make sure to check it out.

As far as "fill the void", thats something you will need to figure out. I've found reading helps, and trying to stick to a bed time and wake up time helps to stay sober. I still fall prey to relapse sometimes though, so I'd seek others with longer sobriety for more advice on that! Good Luck!!!!!

Glad you are here. Your post helped me remember that I definitely want to do what it takes to not drink today. Thanks.

I have 17 months sober. I use AA like my life depends on it. And, it does work if you work it.

I used to have crazy binges like the one you described. I don't think I ever did two 18s and a 12 pack. But I could definitely throw down a 30 pack of PBR if I wanted to.

The last night I drank, and I hope it remains my last, I drank a 30 pack of Keystone. Next day I woke up and felt like I was going crazy. I had anxiety and depression and paced back and forth in my basement for most of the day. My cell phone had the ability to count steps and it claimed I paced over 20 miles that day.

I have been forcing myself to "not drink today" and go to AA meetings and it really helps me.

When I was 25 I had a pretty bad drinking problem. When I was 29 I started posting on forums like you are now, and four years later I finally quit drinking. I hope you do what it takes to arrest your condition soon, it won't get any better. In fact, everyone has told me that it just gets worse, and worse.

Also, what about an outpatient program coupled with AA? Just thought I would throw that out there. I never went to rehab but I probably should have long ago. I was a perpetual drunk and didn't even see it.

Anyway, you are doing the right thing. We heavy drinkers have to talk to other drinkers to find the strength and the hope to stop.

I was similar to you and now I have 17 months. You and I, lets not drink today. Deal?

Give the AA meetings a chance. At first all I could do was sit and listen. I had to give the fog a chance to clear out of my head before I could understand and relate. It is only 1 hour of your time and it will be time well spent.

If boredom is a trigger then when you get bored go to a meeting. Go early and stay after, you may meet someone to go have coffee with. I am a huge procrastinator so when I get bored there is always something for me to do. Clean, pay bills, laundry or work on that project I never finished. It will keep you busy and sober. Turn on some uplifting music, crank it up and get busy. I am always amazed at the sense of accomplishment I feel when I complete a task I initally never wanted to do in the first place.

Another good book to read is Living Sober, what helped me tho are the stories in the back of the Big Book.

Keep coming back! Praying for you!

Thanks for the post. It really seems like if I continue drinking I'll be heading down the same road as you have went down. Needless to say yesterday I didn't have a drink, I had a bit of an urge but like I said I was pretty hungover all day. I've certainly thought about an outpatient service, although it is quite a bit expensive. I'm going to attend a meeting on Monday, and see how it goes. By that time, I'll be on day 4 and that's normally when I have a difficult time of not drinking, convincing myself "Oh, well, I've made it 3 days, I'm not an alcoholic".

I finally told my friends and my girlfriend about what has been going on, and it's nice to have support and people thinking about you.

I had difficulty sleeping, I know that insomnia is a very common sympton of withdrawal. Today, although I'm a bit tired, I'm feeling quite strong. Going to get some exercise in, clean out my car (it smells like old Busch Lite and Keystone Lite) and sit down for a bit of reading.

I also have scheduled a doctor's appt. for Friday of the upcoming week. I'm not having any fits of psychosis, or even extreme anxiety, although I do feel as those my blood pressure is up a bit. I know it's extremely important for me to see a doctor, but I don't get paid till Wednesday (buying all that alcohol really drains the bank account!)

Have a nice day everyone. Onward to day 3.

Good job for getting through day 2! Yeah, the insomnia is really irritating, but it's so much better than spending the morning hungover. Days 3 and 4 were always when I caved, too, but this time (after finding SR) I check in here and read everyone's post when the cravings come.

Remember to take this a day at a time and be patient - things will get better!:ghug3

Congrats on making it this far! Stick to it.. don't be like me and let it get so bad you end up being carried off a plane by paramedics and taken by ambulance to the hospital...... when originally on your way to rehab across the country.... to be treated for alcohol poisoning.. trust me, it ain't fun.

And the thing about this thing is that is is very, very predictable. It WILL get worse.. it's like a snowball rolling down a hill... it gets bigger and bigger and badder and badder til finally it ends up crashing into something and exploding or it melts away to nothing... if you don't get a handle on it, it will get a handle on you.. and that's not being cliche.. that's just brutal truth.

Normal drinkers don't consider going to AA. So don't listen to that adamant voice in the back of your head telling you that you're not REALLY an alcoholic. We all (as alkies) are intimately familiar with its voice... it's lies.. very convincing ones.. but lies just the same.

I didn't use AA, but I do believe it is an amazing program that saves lives. Whatever method you choose to use, stick with it, keep coming back here and let us know how you're doing.. good or bad. The people here watched me sober up, relapse, sober up, relapse.... the poster child for a broken record!... but they never gave up on me.. and we won't give up on you either.

You're in my thoughts and prayers!

You can beat this thing! :-)

Jwk, you stole the words right out of my mouth. You could have been talking about me. In exactly the same place as you, so I think we can easily agree: this is no way to live.

The fact we're here means we have acknowledged our condition and can begin to perceive a way out.


Let's do this, buddy. Let's get sober.

Much love

Hi Hudstar, and welcome!
Good that you decided to do something about your problem. I've been a binge drinker too, drinking started to depress me too but yet it took me 3 more years than you to finally do something about it. To be honest I already knew at 25 that something wasn't right...and I can only agree with debs that it is very predictable where it goes. and it's also true that you can beat it. There are many people her that can relate, you are not alone in this. Keep reading and posting, and all the best!