What Is A 'Dry' Drunk?
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What Is A 'Dry' Drunk?
What Is A "dry Drunk?"
The phrase "dry drunk" has two significant words for the alcoholic. "Dry" refers to the abstinence from drinking, whereas "drunk" signifies a deeply pathological condition resulting from the use of alcohol in the past. Taken together these words suggest intoxication without alcohol. Since intoxication comes from the Greek word for poison, "dry drunk" implies a state of mind and a mode of behavior that are poisonous to the alcoholic's well being.
OBVIOUS TRAITS Persons experiencing a full-blown DRY DRUNK are, for that period, removed from the world of sobriety; they fail, for whatever reason, to accept the necessary conditions for sober living. Their mental and emotional homes are chaotic, their approach to everyday living is unrealistic, and their behavior, both verbal and physical, is unacceptable. This lack of sober realism manifests itself in many ways.
1. Grandiosity, put very simply, is an exaggeration of one's own importance. This can be demonstrated either in terms of one's strengths or weaknesses. In either case it is blatantly self- seeking or self-serving, putting oneself at the center of attention, from the "big me" who has ask the answers to the "poor me" whose cup of self-pity runneth over and wants all of our attention.
2. Judgmentalism is mutually related to grandiosity. It means that the alcoholic is prone to make value judgments - strikingly inappropriate evaluations - usually in terms of "goodness" or "badness".
3. Intolerance leaves no room for delaying the gratification of personal desires. This is accomplished by gross confusion of priorities with the result that a mere whim or passing fancy is mistakenly given more importance than genuine personal needs.
4. Impulsivity is the result of intolerance or the lack of ability to delay gratification of personal desires. Impulsivity describes behavior which is heedless of the ultimate consequence for self or others.
5. Indecisiveness is related to impulsivity in the sense that while the latter takes no realistic account of the consequences of the actions, the former precludes effective action altogether. Indecisiveness stems from an unrealistic exaggeration of the negative possibilities of the action ; so one wavers between two or more possible courses of action, more times than not- nothing gets done. These conditions, grandiosity, judgmentalism, intolerance, impulsivness, and indecisiveness taken separately or together can lead to the following: a) Mood swings, which are unrelated to the circumstances to which one tries to link them. Alcoholics zero in on what they want others to think is the cause of the mood swing, when it isn't that at all. More often than not it is something much deeper than the reason given. Inversely it can also be something totally insignificant with no substance at all (e.g. the sugar is too sweet or the donut is too round). Any excuse will do. b) Unable to demonstrate emotions freely, naturally and without constraint. No emotional spontaneity, no genuine spark. c) Introspection. A very healthy thing to do is difficult if not impossible for the "dry drunk". It means to look inward to one's examining each thought and desire, which is linked directly to one's attitude. d) Detachment. Become aloof, display indifference, don't care one way or the other, no special likes or dislikes, they withdraw. e)
Self-absorption- with a tendency to call attention to whatever they have attained. Narcissism is quite simply self-love. They become pompous asses. f) The inability to appreciate or enjoy themselves - nothing satisfies. g) Evidence of disorganization, is easily distracted, complains of boredom, and nothing seems to fit. h) A nostalgia sets in, a kind of wistful yearning for something of the past, such as freedom from care associated (falsely) with drinking, bars, drinking associates, and friends; the music, blue lights, and tinkle of the ice cubes in a glass in the neighborhood saloon. i) There can be a kind of romanticism, which includes unrealistic valuations of lifestyles and character traits which can be and usually are objectively dangerous to one's sobriety. j) Escapism. Fantasizing, daydreaming, and wishful thinking are very much in evidence in the dry drunk syndrome as the individual slips farther and farther from reality.
Since the abnormality of the alcoholic's attitudes and behavior during the drinking career is generally recognized, the persistence or these character traits after stopping drinking (or the reappearance after an interlude of sobriety) is equally abnormal.
The term "dry drunk" therefore denotes the absences of favorable change in the attitudes and behavior of the alcoholic who is not drinking, or the reversion of these by the alcoholic who has experienced a period of successful sobriety. From these conditions, it is to be inferred that the alcoholic is experiencing discomfort in life.
What do you call a drunken horse thief without the alcohol? A horse thief.
True story: A guy came into AA and after awhile was managing to stay sober and it comes out at a meeting that the reason he wants to stay sober is because when he is drunk he gets caught doing robberies.....and when he is sober he doesn’t.
(Originally posted on the S.O.S. board pre-2006)
The phrase "dry drunk" has two significant words for the alcoholic. "Dry" refers to the abstinence from drinking, whereas "drunk" signifies a deeply pathological condition resulting from the use of alcohol in the past. Taken together these words suggest intoxication without alcohol. Since intoxication comes from the Greek word for poison, "dry drunk" implies a state of mind and a mode of behavior that are poisonous to the alcoholic's well being.
OBVIOUS TRAITS Persons experiencing a full-blown DRY DRUNK are, for that period, removed from the world of sobriety; they fail, for whatever reason, to accept the necessary conditions for sober living. Their mental and emotional homes are chaotic, their approach to everyday living is unrealistic, and their behavior, both verbal and physical, is unacceptable. This lack of sober realism manifests itself in many ways.
1. Grandiosity, put very simply, is an exaggeration of one's own importance. This can be demonstrated either in terms of one's strengths or weaknesses. In either case it is blatantly self- seeking or self-serving, putting oneself at the center of attention, from the "big me" who has ask the answers to the "poor me" whose cup of self-pity runneth over and wants all of our attention.
2. Judgmentalism is mutually related to grandiosity. It means that the alcoholic is prone to make value judgments - strikingly inappropriate evaluations - usually in terms of "goodness" or "badness".
3. Intolerance leaves no room for delaying the gratification of personal desires. This is accomplished by gross confusion of priorities with the result that a mere whim or passing fancy is mistakenly given more importance than genuine personal needs.
4. Impulsivity is the result of intolerance or the lack of ability to delay gratification of personal desires. Impulsivity describes behavior which is heedless of the ultimate consequence for self or others.
5. Indecisiveness is related to impulsivity in the sense that while the latter takes no realistic account of the consequences of the actions, the former precludes effective action altogether. Indecisiveness stems from an unrealistic exaggeration of the negative possibilities of the action ; so one wavers between two or more possible courses of action, more times than not- nothing gets done. These conditions, grandiosity, judgmentalism, intolerance, impulsivness, and indecisiveness taken separately or together can lead to the following: a) Mood swings, which are unrelated to the circumstances to which one tries to link them. Alcoholics zero in on what they want others to think is the cause of the mood swing, when it isn't that at all. More often than not it is something much deeper than the reason given. Inversely it can also be something totally insignificant with no substance at all (e.g. the sugar is too sweet or the donut is too round). Any excuse will do. b) Unable to demonstrate emotions freely, naturally and without constraint. No emotional spontaneity, no genuine spark. c) Introspection. A very healthy thing to do is difficult if not impossible for the "dry drunk". It means to look inward to one's examining each thought and desire, which is linked directly to one's attitude. d) Detachment. Become aloof, display indifference, don't care one way or the other, no special likes or dislikes, they withdraw. e)
Self-absorption- with a tendency to call attention to whatever they have attained. Narcissism is quite simply self-love. They become pompous asses. f) The inability to appreciate or enjoy themselves - nothing satisfies. g) Evidence of disorganization, is easily distracted, complains of boredom, and nothing seems to fit. h) A nostalgia sets in, a kind of wistful yearning for something of the past, such as freedom from care associated (falsely) with drinking, bars, drinking associates, and friends; the music, blue lights, and tinkle of the ice cubes in a glass in the neighborhood saloon. i) There can be a kind of romanticism, which includes unrealistic valuations of lifestyles and character traits which can be and usually are objectively dangerous to one's sobriety. j) Escapism. Fantasizing, daydreaming, and wishful thinking are very much in evidence in the dry drunk syndrome as the individual slips farther and farther from reality.
Since the abnormality of the alcoholic's attitudes and behavior during the drinking career is generally recognized, the persistence or these character traits after stopping drinking (or the reappearance after an interlude of sobriety) is equally abnormal.
The term "dry drunk" therefore denotes the absences of favorable change in the attitudes and behavior of the alcoholic who is not drinking, or the reversion of these by the alcoholic who has experienced a period of successful sobriety. From these conditions, it is to be inferred that the alcoholic is experiencing discomfort in life.
What do you call a drunken horse thief without the alcohol? A horse thief.
True story: A guy came into AA and after awhile was managing to stay sober and it comes out at a meeting that the reason he wants to stay sober is because when he is drunk he gets caught doing robberies.....and when he is sober he doesn’t.
(Originally posted on the S.O.S. board pre-2006)
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bali, Indonesia
Posts: 645
Its an AA term, used to place judgement on someone elses sobriety. To the best of my understanding.
It was discussed recently on this forum, here
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...runk-what.html
It was discussed recently on this forum, here
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...runk-what.html
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 65
Thank you so much for sharing this. Last week, I expereinced a period I would most defiantly characterize as dry drunk. Grandiosity, judgmetalism, intolerance, impulisivity, and indecisivness were all traits I was exhibiting. For the majority of the 13 months I have been sober, I have considered it a blessing. However, the past few weeks I have felt bitter towards my sobriety, and have been blaming others for the choices I have made.
That is not the way I want to live my life. I want to enjoy all sobriety has to offer, and for me, that means I need to take responsibiltiy for my choices. Again, thank you so much for sharing this. I'm going to save it. Whenever I am feeling resentful towards my sobriety, I am going to read this, because a dry drunk is not what I want to be.
That is not the way I want to live my life. I want to enjoy all sobriety has to offer, and for me, that means I need to take responsibiltiy for my choices. Again, thank you so much for sharing this. I'm going to save it. Whenever I am feeling resentful towards my sobriety, I am going to read this, because a dry drunk is not what I want to be.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Personally.....I never use the term....Dry Drunk
Perhaps a better way to approach those members
who are unhappily sober.....irather than judgeing
is to show them how you are finding
your answers to being free and joy filled?
Perhaps a better way to approach those members
who are unhappily sober.....irather than judgeing
is to show them how you are finding
your answers to being free and joy filled?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mgm, AL
Posts: 1,000
I found this post to be very helpful in my understanding of what the lack of alcohol (the mental obsession) did to my mind. AA or not, an unpleasant person is still unpleasant--and I know people with 36+ years of sobriety in AA that are still miserable human beings. AA is NOT a cure for character defects unless I'm willing to work on them.
Appendix II, Alcoholics Anonymous, Attributed to Herbert Spencer.
“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation.”
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
Dry drunk is a term used widely in al-anon meetings and I've personally heard it from several counselors while discussing my abusive alcoholic (yet dry) husband. My sister just heard it last week from her counselor while discussing her non-drinking possibly alcoholic husband.
Just FYI.
Just FYI.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Thats a really good description...i wouldn't have read it and accepted it as me in my dry spells over the years but yep i'm in there! I won't say why didn't someone tell me cos they did and i would shoot them down in flames...dry drunk, how dare you sir i am x months sober!!!!!!!
Its defo worth keeping an eye on, thanks for the post:-)
ps keep this on your computer then you can copy and paste everytime what is a dry drunk or im x months sober and feel like crap thread appear;-)
Its defo worth keeping an eye on, thanks for the post:-)
ps keep this on your computer then you can copy and paste everytime what is a dry drunk or im x months sober and feel like crap thread appear;-)
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Great post SKG! And I'm with ya Yeahgr8...... I see a lot of me in there - some of it I see rather recently too (ugh....some I can even see right this SECOND)! LOL.
I learned, once I hit recovery, that it's a lot easier to spot an alcoholic when they're NOT drinking than it is when they've got a buzz on.
I'm not offended by "dry drunk" at all.....I think it fits what's rollin' through my head when I slack off, back off, and move into a lifestyle dominated by my will.
Maybe "suffering from untreated alcoholism" or "living in a spiritual malady" is more socially acceptable but when I'm in one of those moods...there's nothing socially acceptable about what's in my head ---> "non-drinking a-hole" might be more descriptive than even "dry drunk" -
I learned, once I hit recovery, that it's a lot easier to spot an alcoholic when they're NOT drinking than it is when they've got a buzz on.
I'm not offended by "dry drunk" at all.....I think it fits what's rollin' through my head when I slack off, back off, and move into a lifestyle dominated by my will.
Maybe "suffering from untreated alcoholism" or "living in a spiritual malady" is more socially acceptable but when I'm in one of those moods...there's nothing socially acceptable about what's in my head ---> "non-drinking a-hole" might be more descriptive than even "dry drunk" -
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Hey skg... nice post... Useful to me to identify, within myself, trends that may be the sign of a dry drunk... within me... I cannot and will not judge my brothers and sisters in recovery... even if they are a wet drunk...
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by Chops 
Seriously bro?
My favorite drinking buddy.....guy drank more than I DID..... that jerk managed to just "slow down" all on his own. No recovery, no steps, no dui's no trouble...he's just a regular social drinker now. AlcoholISM really is a disease that centers in the mind..... like the BB says, the "drinking" is not our problem.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
I understand the term but i dont like it much.
Its just another one liner to confuse the newcomer..along with 13 steps..it works if you work it.....and all that other waffle.
In my own experience ive had 2 types of sobriety.
Type 1......using my own perceived power to remain sober.
Type 2.......using a power greater than me to stay sober.
The research of both, for me are as follows.
Type 1 sobriety.........i wanna blow my head off.....and my wife said "you might as well drink cos you sure act like you are"....that was good enough for me im getting plastered.
Type 2 sobriety......the sense of ease i achieved from having alcohol is now achieved by....connecting to god......regular inventory......sharing with a newcomer.
my mind has completely been renewed and i know peace like never before..
Its just another one liner to confuse the newcomer..along with 13 steps..it works if you work it.....and all that other waffle.
In my own experience ive had 2 types of sobriety.
Type 1......using my own perceived power to remain sober.
Type 2.......using a power greater than me to stay sober.
The research of both, for me are as follows.
Type 1 sobriety.........i wanna blow my head off.....and my wife said "you might as well drink cos you sure act like you are"....that was good enough for me im getting plastered.
Type 2 sobriety......the sense of ease i achieved from having alcohol is now achieved by....connecting to god......regular inventory......sharing with a newcomer.
my mind has completely been renewed and i know peace like never before..
Another Day in Paradise
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upland, CA
Posts: 900
I have referred to periods of my post drinking life as "just as confused and lacking direction as when I was drinking." Dry Drunk is just another way of describing that behavior in my opinion. I do agree that calling someone else that or any other name probably isn't appropriate. In fact if you think about it, judging another's behavior just may indicate that you need to look more closely at your own.
I don't find the term offensive if used to describe one's own behavior or better yet state of mind. I do think it better fits than the description I hear quite often, which is; I am back to my "Old behavior." Quite honestly when I am behaving a certain way, it isn't old behavior at all, it is current behavior. Therefore the term "dry drunk" may better fit as a descriptor. Regardless of what I choose to call it, there does seem to be a propensity for lapses in behavior when I forget that the drink was just the key that opened the cage where I keep the dragons.
Jon
I don't find the term offensive if used to describe one's own behavior or better yet state of mind. I do think it better fits than the description I hear quite often, which is; I am back to my "Old behavior." Quite honestly when I am behaving a certain way, it isn't old behavior at all, it is current behavior. Therefore the term "dry drunk" may better fit as a descriptor. Regardless of what I choose to call it, there does seem to be a propensity for lapses in behavior when I forget that the drink was just the key that opened the cage where I keep the dragons.
Jon
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This is the S.O.S. Sobriety website for those who were wondering...
I found the descriptions useful to ME in understanding ME. The beginning of change was understanding that I had a problem.
peaceness.
I found the descriptions useful to ME in understanding ME. The beginning of change was understanding that I had a problem.
peaceness.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: far far from home
Posts: 373
Originally Posted by DayTrader
Yeah.....seriously. Look for the guy everyone's walking on eggshells around. Look for the person everyone's afraid to say anything to. Look for any of the qualities in that first post.... I think you can almost always loosely call it "alcoholism" - only some of them haven't found the power in the bottle...yet.
My favorite drinking buddy.....guy drank more than I DID..... that jerk managed to just "slow down" all on his own. No recovery, no steps, no dui's no trouble...he's just a regular social drinker now. AlcoholISM really is a disease that centers in the mind..... like the BB says, the "drinking" is not our problem.
My favorite drinking buddy.....guy drank more than I DID..... that jerk managed to just "slow down" all on his own. No recovery, no steps, no dui's no trouble...he's just a regular social drinker now. AlcoholISM really is a disease that centers in the mind..... like the BB says, the "drinking" is not our problem.
And I go to keep it upfront that it is important for me to recognize the traits/behaviors in the first post in me and not go looking to evaluate others.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Can i just put this out to the world? I would really appreciate a heads up if i start to exhibit any behaviour of a dry drunk because i seriously doubt i will be able to completely see it in myself...i understand that most people are working a "selfish program" but if they could be just a little unselfish for a few minutes to give me a heads up on any character defects that might be standing out or any old behaviours that may be cropping up that would be most appreciated, then they can return to looking after number 1:-)
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Originally Posted by Still Waters
I fail to see how dry drunk is any worse than drunk, alkie, codie, druggie, or any other term used to describe a state of mental being.
Shaun your dog is gorgeous! Ridgeback?
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