loveon2legs

I didn't respond to any of the signals my body was telling me...it wasn't until my dui that I had to look at things in a whole new way....I guess my brain finally kicked in and said enough is enough!!!

Cottonwoodchris

The first time I stopped drinking it was because my liver and kidneys stopped working. Before that it was the shakes, sweats, dizzy, my feet and legs weren't working right. But I didn't listen and wound up on a kidney machine for 5 weeks.

Kidneys started working again and I went home. After almost 3 years sober, my alcoholic mind said, "it's OK, you can have one drink" Yeah, right. We all know where that leads. From May until Sept. 1st, I was right back to a bottle a day. Another trip to the ER after falling over at work put my mind in analysis mode. I am now on day 20, sober, and I feel great.

IrishEyes88

That's how I feel. I'm 28 and I think about death way too often. It's stealing time from me that I could be thinking about other things. Like life.

I have pain where my liver is. I gained weight. I can't sleep well. And a bunch of little annoyances here and there. I'm sick of it.

shaun00

it wasnt what it did to my body.
it was what it did to my mind.

i couldnt have given two hoots if my legs fell off......im convinced i would have found a way to get booze.....whatever.

i was tormented mentally......i hated to drink......i didnt want to drink.....
if i could do it, id blow my head off.....i needed to quit but i couldnt stay sober and content.......so i sought out answers i guess...why was being dry so awful.

IrishEyes88

Oh and I forgot... I feel like I'm losing my mind. Even when I'm not drinking, when I'm dead sober, I still can't get my thoughts in order and feel like I'm sayiing weird or off topic things when I talk to people.

It's like my mind is saying, "Are we drunk right now or not? I can't tell anymore!"

tallcactus

Only the horrible handovers from binge drinking and the inches gained on my wasitline.

SoberArtistGirl

A bad bout with pancreatitis scared the living daylights out of me. Plus, my hangovers kept getting worse and I was also very scared of what would eventually happen to my liver.

Murray4x5

Off the top of my head - Red rimmed eyes. Red nose. Red cheeks. Diarrhea at least three times each morning for years and years and years. Pain in sides when rolling over in bed. Orange urine. Bonehead mistakes at work. Dwindling motivation to pursue those things I loved to do in the past. Incapable of drinking just one, had to get wasted. A perfect night was when I had enough booze to take my last drink from the last bottle just before my head hit the pillow. Stopped dreaming up future projects. An imperceptibly slow erosion of emotional connections with the ones I love.

Went to the Dr's today to discuss my blood tests...I dodged a bullet and was lucky to stop before any "real" damage was done. WHEW! I feel like one lucky man...

Murray

LaFemme

Yeah Murray! Glad your doctors visit went well:-)

Fandy

very swollen lower abdomen, obvious dehydration, dull pain both in back and abdomen. I don't know if it was my liver or not, but I "imagine" it was. elevated GTT and GGTP levels (over 400). my face looked like a red full moon, puffed out, if someone stuck a pin in me, it would probably have deflated.....difficulty with vision due to dehydration. dull complexion...and lthough it is not physical, my depression was taking up my entire life and I didn't care if i was dead or alive....i could lay in bed all day doing absolutely nothing except being sure my cats had fresh food and water and a clean box.

i KNEW it was either sink or swim for me....the counselor offered by my primary care doc did not accept my insurance. I was too embarrased to return to my former psycho. who treated my depression for 3 years because i felt like such a mess and failure.

I found SR on a google search...and started reading, then posting...I credit this website with truly saving my life....and I am so grateful to come back to life.

wolf99

I started getting full on blackouts, I wouldn't remember the whole night. Shaking and sweating in the morning. Hangovers so bad i couldn't get out of bed. The thing that scared me the most was during a really bad hangover I would feel like I was going to lose my mind, like I couldn't control my brain. It is hard to describe...but ya, terrifying!

BullDog777

my list....

seizures
blackouts
shaking
abdominal pain
stroke level blood pressure
inability to eat
insomnia
OCD
paranoia
vomiting blood
diarreah
bile in my urine
hallucinations
neoropathy
memory loss

almost forgot...

dry heaving
and full body itching


that's just what i could think of off the top of my head. today, i'm very happy and healthy. My life is truely a blessing.

Zebra1275

I knew I was in trouble when I needed to have a beer or two in the morning to stop the shakes.

flavinho

For me actually the reasons were physically and mentally related. The abstinence results and panic attacks were happenning almost at daily basis. I couldn't concentrate almost in anything, I didnt have the natural joyful behavior with things that regular men of my age does like dating, parties, college, etc. I couldn't write with a pen anymore, everytime I needed to put a signature, it was a disaster. I didn't no longer had the same speech abilities I had more previoulsy. I just wanted to sip the next vodka. MY body and face were so bloated, but the type of bloating you only notice in alcoholics, for a moment I thought it'd be permanent. Felt pains in my belly several times, specially on the right side, I presume my liver was enlarged and was pushing the nearby organs, I used to feel an annoying discomfort in my liver area, specially when sitting. Fortunately it's all past, still having some issues with weight, but it's just food and laziness related.

pounding

I too have had that pain in the left side of my belly and it does indeed throb as you say...it got so bad I stopped drinking 3 nights ago (again!!) and it went away the following day. I guess you could say I'm on day 3 (again).

Bamboozle

1. Heart palpitations out of nowhere--lots of them and I can feel every one. Turned out benign...I have them rarely now (been sober for awhile).

2. Stark fear from my mind--looking at pics of diseased hearts and livers on the internets and the dawning realization that drinking could never improve my life...wondering how much more it would take before having a bout of pancreatitis or some other avoidable ailment...knowing that being a woman means that onset of these things generally happens in a very short amount of time.

fragrantrose

100 days sober today and here is my retropective list-

crippling depression
wild mood swings
losing days in bed with hangover
elevated BP
fatty liver-elevated liver enzymes
bloated abdomen and face
flushed complexion
hot and cold sweats
muscle aches and pains-low tolerance to exercise

LexieCat

I went through terrible withdrawals during the weekdays until I could get home to drink. I had difficulty breathing without making an effort--it felt like my diaphragm was constricted. I had difficulty swallowing--I felt like I would choke on my food. My gait was unsteady and I had poor balance. I would wake up with the sweats and feeling panicked. I had memory loss. My handwriting was practically illegible and I couldn't make my hands work the way I wanted them to. I had tingling and mild numbness in my hands and feet (two years later this has still not gone away). I felt paranoid and fearful all the time. I would have "brownouts"--not quite blackouts, but would forget parts of conversations and forget to do important things (locking the doors, turning off the stove or oven). I would pass out at night frequently. I had digestive problems. I had no appetite. I was constantly dehydrated.

Alcoholic drinking sucks.

whatevername

Pancreatis bouts
Swollen lower back and fron Both sides
Blown out irritated stomach lining (Bloated)
Diarhea
Constipation (bloated in pain for sometimes days)
Stroke symptoms (felt like my heat was racing and some was stabbing it from the direction down from my chin)
Ulcers (bleeding)
Paranoia (So bad I wouldnt leave the house, I would drink with all the windows shut)
Insomnia
Insane Nightmares
dehydration
Couldnt eat
Loss of memory...
Sometimes when I tried to quit I couldnt sit , lay down, Have at peace at all.
I eventually went to see my Doctor (for like the tenth time, and he gave me thiamine supplements and a weeks work of Lithium. That did it.

Now I go to AA and as seek counselling for depression.
Drinking caused me to lose a relationship with my family in cluding my son for almost 20 years, In fact They just didnt want to be around me at all so I moved away to stop torturing them.

I am not even gonna get into the countless jobs and career I lost, or the stitches, bar fights, broken bones, car accidents and jail.

INSANITY, I thought I was smarter , better, faster and not in need of help through all this. I would binge for a month/week/day or two then PAINFULLy sober up, then hit it again and again with the 'poor mes' (depression) Then I was hallucinating I was seeing shadows at the end of my bed each night...oh yea, Death was there all right...So this stretch is good sober.

rws177

I remember the sweating, red face, insomina, head aches, getting sick at work, and just that all around "fog" in my head that slowed me down from being the person I am capable of being.