Day5
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 61
Day5
This weekend went ok. I was able to fight the urge to drink. I think that's wonderful. Drinking is most defiantly my drug of choice. I smoked some p0t. Please do not get the idea of I'm not trying to stay sober. I think of that as my soul searching but of course that does not work. It used to work pretty well, but it was not the time this weekend. In fact my life has changed so much it will probably never be the appropriate I time again. My mind is so tricked that I think I can't be normal without mind altering chemicals. The part that sucks the most is I have no fun when smoking.
Even though I can handle my beer pretty well I can not handle smoking. When I smoke I can not even hold a conversation. I get scared and paranoid, I sincerely have a chemical imbalance in my brain so smoking p0t affect renderers my mind useless. Yesterday I smoked some and I can honestly say if I knew what was going to happen I probably would not have smoked any.
I just think that smoking makes me more real and slows down my life. I watch people that live the (so called) normal life and they seem so busy that the can not soul search. It almost feels feels like I can't soul search or be myself without smoking or drinking
Make no mistake drinking is my choice. And I am not totally proud of myself for smoking this weekend. But I will be totally sober again. And it started after my last hit. There is no doubt that I can do it and my experience last night will only fuel my will power to stay sober.
Day 5 no drinking
Even though I can handle my beer pretty well I can not handle smoking. When I smoke I can not even hold a conversation. I get scared and paranoid, I sincerely have a chemical imbalance in my brain so smoking p0t affect renderers my mind useless. Yesterday I smoked some and I can honestly say if I knew what was going to happen I probably would not have smoked any.
I just think that smoking makes me more real and slows down my life. I watch people that live the (so called) normal life and they seem so busy that the can not soul search. It almost feels feels like I can't soul search or be myself without smoking or drinking
Make no mistake drinking is my choice. And I am not totally proud of myself for smoking this weekend. But I will be totally sober again. And it started after my last hit. There is no doubt that I can do it and my experience last night will only fuel my will power to stay sober.
Day 5 no drinking
Hooligan
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Snowy North-Eastern U.S.
Posts: 321
i know that scarred and paranoid feeling. i put that wacky tabacky down like 4 years ago and never have had the urge to ever touch it again.
Something about a racing heart and mind, curled up on a coach wishing i never smoked was a big enough reason for me lol
Something about a racing heart and mind, curled up on a coach wishing i never smoked was a big enough reason for me lol
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
Originally Posted by coffeeclub 
Even though I can handle my beer pretty well I can not handle smoking. Day 5 no drinking
Also, you said that this was such a special weekend in your other post that you needed beer and pot to be around you. I think you should think about that and figure out why you felt it was so important that you needed those things around you.
I'm not trying to analyze you, just trying to undertand you more I guess...........
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