Dammmmnnnnnnnnnnnn...........
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 390
Dammmmnnnnnnnnnnnn...........
I bought beer today.And I drank it.Stupid I know but Im not gonna drink tomorrow(one day at a time thing).Im not even feeling guilty.If I drink again soon Im sure I will feel very guilty and depressed.I am gonnA START MY DAY COUNT AGAIN TOMORROW.Sorry to dissappoint anyone here who really gives a **** about ,me, someone you no very very little about.Did not get drunk but still drank some beer(s).Lost 10 pounds over the last couple of weeks though
.oops.... 
.oops.... 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Boston
Posts: 710
Hi (((((((((Homer)))))))))
Homer, you just keep doing what you are doing. When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired.......you will do something about it and not one minute sooner.
I had to drink every drink on the way to Alcoholic Anonymous.
I did just as you are doing right now. Try to quit on my own so many times and when I realized that what I was doing wasn't working......I reached out for serious help to those who had a solution, I had become desperate and in that desperation I found the willingness to do what needed to be done...... I went to AA meetings. If you find that you reach a place where you just can't do what you are doing any longer....... then give Alcoholics Anonymous a call, the phone number is in the phone book..... they can help you.
God Bless you Homer,
Love
Patsy
Homer, you just keep doing what you are doing. When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired.......you will do something about it and not one minute sooner.
I had to drink every drink on the way to Alcoholic Anonymous.
I did just as you are doing right now. Try to quit on my own so many times and when I realized that what I was doing wasn't working......I reached out for serious help to those who had a solution, I had become desperate and in that desperation I found the willingness to do what needed to be done...... I went to AA meetings. If you find that you reach a place where you just can't do what you are doing any longer....... then give Alcoholics Anonymous a call, the phone number is in the phone book..... they can help you.
God Bless you Homer,
Love
Patsy
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Homer,
It takes what it takes. As Patsy said, I too needed to drink every drop in order to get where I'm at.
I think the word committment should enter the conversation right about now.
Hang in there. Make a choice and commit to it.
It takes what it takes. As Patsy said, I too needed to drink every drop in order to get where I'm at.
I think the word committment should enter the conversation right about now.
Hang in there. Make a choice and commit to it.
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
I must have quit drinking a hundred times before and believe me, every single time I swore that I was never going to touch another drop ........I meant it with all my heart.
Once I was so determined never to drink again that I even managed to stay sober for the unbelivable total of three days.
Many alcoholics talk about "hitting bottom".........for me my bottom came when I had finally drunk myself to the point where I knew that if I continued drinking it was going to end in my ultimate destruction.
I know many people in AA who have made a decision to stop drinking long before the pain of advanced alcoholism began.
Many people have been spared the horrors of drinking simply by deciding that alcohol was more a liability than an asset in their lives.
Not all of us have to come face to face with the four dark horsemen of terror , confusion , lonliness and bewilderment before we decide to stop.
If I had taken a serious and honest look at how my drinking was progressing over the first eight years of my drinking history then I would have been able to accurately fill in the blanks and know exactly where my life was going to end up.
I was one of the unfortunate ones that had to be beaten into surrender by alcohol itself.
Once I was so determined never to drink again that I even managed to stay sober for the unbelivable total of three days.
Many alcoholics talk about "hitting bottom".........for me my bottom came when I had finally drunk myself to the point where I knew that if I continued drinking it was going to end in my ultimate destruction.
I know many people in AA who have made a decision to stop drinking long before the pain of advanced alcoholism began.
Many people have been spared the horrors of drinking simply by deciding that alcohol was more a liability than an asset in their lives.
Not all of us have to come face to face with the four dark horsemen of terror , confusion , lonliness and bewilderment before we decide to stop.
If I had taken a serious and honest look at how my drinking was progressing over the first eight years of my drinking history then I would have been able to accurately fill in the blanks and know exactly where my life was going to end up.
I was one of the unfortunate ones that had to be beaten into surrender by alcohol itself.
Paused
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: vanc., wa.
Posts: 16
HI HOMER,
I CARE ABOUT YOU MAN! I'M SURE THERE ARE ALOT OF US THAT DO.
THERE'S ALOT MORE OF THAT IN THE MEETING'S.
IT'S NOT SOBERHOLIC'S ANONYMOUS, IT'S ALCOHOLIC'S ANONYMOUS.
A DESIRE TO STOP DRINKING IS THE ONLY REQUIRMENT FOR MEMBERSHIP; COME ON IN THE WATER'S FINE!
I CAME TO A POINT WHERE "MY WAY" JUST DIDN'T WORK AND SO
THE SUGGESTION'S BECAME COMMAND'S.
I USE TO GET OUT OF SELF BY WAY OF ALCOHOL.
NOW I GET OUT OF SELF BY BEING HONEST WITH ME, YOU H.P., CLEAN HOUSE AND HELP OTHER'S, IN RETURN I GET TO BE SOBER ANOTHER DAY IF, I JUST FOLLOW DIRECTION'S. SOMETIME'S I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW TO DO THIS SO, I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE.
I NEED TO BE HUNGREY ENOUGH TO GO UP AND ASK FOR HELP.
THANK'S FOR 12 STEPPING ME.
WRITE ME ANYTIME.
SINCERELY
JACK B.
I CARE ABOUT YOU MAN! I'M SURE THERE ARE ALOT OF US THAT DO.
THERE'S ALOT MORE OF THAT IN THE MEETING'S.
IT'S NOT SOBERHOLIC'S ANONYMOUS, IT'S ALCOHOLIC'S ANONYMOUS.
A DESIRE TO STOP DRINKING IS THE ONLY REQUIRMENT FOR MEMBERSHIP; COME ON IN THE WATER'S FINE!
I CAME TO A POINT WHERE "MY WAY" JUST DIDN'T WORK AND SO
THE SUGGESTION'S BECAME COMMAND'S.
I USE TO GET OUT OF SELF BY WAY OF ALCOHOL.
NOW I GET OUT OF SELF BY BEING HONEST WITH ME, YOU H.P., CLEAN HOUSE AND HELP OTHER'S, IN RETURN I GET TO BE SOBER ANOTHER DAY IF, I JUST FOLLOW DIRECTION'S. SOMETIME'S I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW TO DO THIS SO, I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE.
I NEED TO BE HUNGREY ENOUGH TO GO UP AND ASK FOR HELP.
THANK'S FOR 12 STEPPING ME.
WRITE ME ANYTIME.
SINCERELY
JACK B.
spirit
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
gday homer
hi - i am in australia so i am a day ahead of you.
it is already friday morning here, so i can tell you tomorrow will come and it can be a sober day for you mate!!
good luck with it, take it slowly but keep moving forward.
i love homer!! he is so cool
cheers
kath
it is already friday morning here, so i can tell you tomorrow will come and it can be a sober day for you mate!!
good luck with it, take it slowly but keep moving forward.
i love homer!! he is so cool
cheers
kath
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
Homer, I have no idea how many times it took for me to stop drinking. But, like you, I refused to give up. You're on the right track and we're here to support you any way we can. Let us know how tomorrow goes.
Hugs and love,
Anna
Hugs and love,
Anna
Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Charleston S.C.
Posts: 1,461
Hi Homer, ssssorry you drank but, that is normal for us alcholics. The key is not to give up. There is recovey for you. You have shown you are able to stop. You just have to work on staying stopped. Just don't be hard on yourself. Few of us have had a perfect recovery. There are some that never drink after the first try. However, most have to fail a few times. We care about you so keep posting drinking or not. Remember, you need only have the desire to stop.
If we could stop before we went to AA or what ever, we wouldn't need it. You are very brave to admit drinking. Many go on to suffer for years because of shame to admit failure. Stopping drinking is a learned new way of life I believe. There are few things that we learn the first time. Just read the posts, there is a whole different life waiting for you. I had trouble at first deciding I deserved a better life, and this kept me drinking. In my case there were other issues I need to talk to someone about.
My biggest down fall was when good things started happening. This felt so strange that I would sabotage my recovery. Hope you can identify with some of this. Keep posting and talking.
Silence is alcholism"s best partner in keeping us drinking. Don W
If we could stop before we went to AA or what ever, we wouldn't need it. You are very brave to admit drinking. Many go on to suffer for years because of shame to admit failure. Stopping drinking is a learned new way of life I believe. There are few things that we learn the first time. Just read the posts, there is a whole different life waiting for you. I had trouble at first deciding I deserved a better life, and this kept me drinking. In my case there were other issues I need to talk to someone about.
My biggest down fall was when good things started happening. This felt so strange that I would sabotage my recovery. Hope you can identify with some of this. Keep posting and talking.
Silence is alcholism"s best partner in keeping us drinking. Don W
Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Boston
Posts: 710
Hi Homer,
One of the most valuable pieces of information that I heard shared at my first AA meeting is this: This is a disease, a 3 fold disease..... mental, physical and spiritual....
Homer, the Mental part is the obsession to drink. An obsession is a thought.....that over comes all other thoughts. The obsession insured that I would take that first drink. I was "thinking" about alcohol all the time. Alcohol made all the decisions for me on a daily basis. I was unable to control my own "thoughts" about getting a drink.
The physical part is the compulsion.... the compulsion is for MORE literally. Once I took that first drop of alcohol into my body, it set up a reaction for MORE. I would find myself getting a second drink, a third drink and on and on until drunk and sick......... when all I "thought" that I wanted was just "one" drink or maybe "two"
The Spiritual part is that I moved my own values and beliefs every single time they interferred with my drinking. I was brought up with beliefs and values Homer, and I knew the difference between right and wrong. With the disease of alcoholism, I would come up with hundreds of excuses why I did what I did. I lied repeatedly about where I was going, how much I had to drink, why I couldn't be where I was suppose to be, why I drank.... and I began to blame people, places and things for my drinking..... my inability to NOT drink. I began to believe those lies that I told myself and others......... so that I could do what I "needed" to do........and that was get a drink.
I began to feel guilt and remorse in the mornings, and I was running out of excuses. The truth is that I didn't know why I drank, I just knew that I HAD to get a drink, and that drink always led to MORE drinks. Ultimately I came to the point where I hated myself. Promise after promise that I wouldn't drink went right down the tubes when the obsession to drink would begin as a whisper in my mind and after a few hours I felt as if I had this monster in my own head that wouldn't allow me to "think" of anything, or anyone else except getting a drink...and getting a drink became the most important priority.... bar none. I had no clue why I drank, or how to stop drinking. I made attempt after attemp to stop drinking on my own. I meant it every time I would make the promise "I will not drink today"....... and the obsession would start..... I would begin feeling anxious, irritable and discontent..... I would become angry at the drop of a hat..... I would be unable to "think" of anything else but getting a drink. The ease and comfort that would always come with that first drink...... the first drink always took away the obsession in my mind......... and the first drink always led me to MORE. I would make a limit in my head. OK...only 3 drinks.... and I was able at times to just drink 3....... those times were few and far between. What usually happened was that I would make a limit and before I knew it........ I was drunk, sick and out of control again.
And it begin again..... all over again......... the very next morning. I would wake up full of guilt, fear and remorse............. asking myself again.......... "How the hell did this happen again?.... What is wrong with me?... I must be absolutely insane.
Little did I know that my alcoholism was just that....Insanity.
The definition of Insanity is:
"To continue to do the same things over and over again.......expecting different results"
Homer,
Being a recovering alcoholic in Alcoholics Anonymous has been a blessing for this alky. I have a life today that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. I have been given a solution that works, and I have peace of mind today and a heart full of gratitude.
Did I want to come to AA? NO
Desperation is what brought me through those doors of AA. When I first came to AA I was feeling full of fear, doubt, and insecurity. I felt less than, I was angry, full of pain, scared out of my mind, and I absolutely felt LOST...... and I hated myself.
Those people at my first AA meeting welcomed me with open arms. I heard these people speaking about what I needed to hear that night at my first AA meeting. I heard them speak about the obsession to drink, the compulsion to drink and a spiritual loss of values. I heard them speaking about where they came from.....how they got here....and what its like now.
I remember feeling "I am finally home".
What I heard and was given that first AA meeting....... is HOPE.
Homer, if you ever find that you want to stay sober and learn a way of life that is second to none... to LIVE one day at a time.... the most wonderful news is that there is a solution Homer. And all you have to do Homer is to BE where the solution IS...... at AA meetings.
We are all pulling for you Homer. And the only one who can take the action is YOU.
So I would simply suggest this again to you Homer.... to just get up, put your coat on, and get to the nearest AA meeting in your area. We never have to be alone or do this alone....ever again,...... if we choose not to
Love
Patsy
One of the most valuable pieces of information that I heard shared at my first AA meeting is this: This is a disease, a 3 fold disease..... mental, physical and spiritual....
Homer, the Mental part is the obsession to drink. An obsession is a thought.....that over comes all other thoughts. The obsession insured that I would take that first drink. I was "thinking" about alcohol all the time. Alcohol made all the decisions for me on a daily basis. I was unable to control my own "thoughts" about getting a drink.
The physical part is the compulsion.... the compulsion is for MORE literally. Once I took that first drop of alcohol into my body, it set up a reaction for MORE. I would find myself getting a second drink, a third drink and on and on until drunk and sick......... when all I "thought" that I wanted was just "one" drink or maybe "two"
The Spiritual part is that I moved my own values and beliefs every single time they interferred with my drinking. I was brought up with beliefs and values Homer, and I knew the difference between right and wrong. With the disease of alcoholism, I would come up with hundreds of excuses why I did what I did. I lied repeatedly about where I was going, how much I had to drink, why I couldn't be where I was suppose to be, why I drank.... and I began to blame people, places and things for my drinking..... my inability to NOT drink. I began to believe those lies that I told myself and others......... so that I could do what I "needed" to do........and that was get a drink.
I began to feel guilt and remorse in the mornings, and I was running out of excuses. The truth is that I didn't know why I drank, I just knew that I HAD to get a drink, and that drink always led to MORE drinks. Ultimately I came to the point where I hated myself. Promise after promise that I wouldn't drink went right down the tubes when the obsession to drink would begin as a whisper in my mind and after a few hours I felt as if I had this monster in my own head that wouldn't allow me to "think" of anything, or anyone else except getting a drink...and getting a drink became the most important priority.... bar none. I had no clue why I drank, or how to stop drinking. I made attempt after attemp to stop drinking on my own. I meant it every time I would make the promise "I will not drink today"....... and the obsession would start..... I would begin feeling anxious, irritable and discontent..... I would become angry at the drop of a hat..... I would be unable to "think" of anything else but getting a drink. The ease and comfort that would always come with that first drink...... the first drink always took away the obsession in my mind......... and the first drink always led me to MORE. I would make a limit in my head. OK...only 3 drinks.... and I was able at times to just drink 3....... those times were few and far between. What usually happened was that I would make a limit and before I knew it........ I was drunk, sick and out of control again.
And it begin again..... all over again......... the very next morning. I would wake up full of guilt, fear and remorse............. asking myself again.......... "How the hell did this happen again?.... What is wrong with me?... I must be absolutely insane.
Little did I know that my alcoholism was just that....Insanity.
The definition of Insanity is:
"To continue to do the same things over and over again.......expecting different results"
Homer,
Being a recovering alcoholic in Alcoholics Anonymous has been a blessing for this alky. I have a life today that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. I have been given a solution that works, and I have peace of mind today and a heart full of gratitude.
Did I want to come to AA? NO
Desperation is what brought me through those doors of AA. When I first came to AA I was feeling full of fear, doubt, and insecurity. I felt less than, I was angry, full of pain, scared out of my mind, and I absolutely felt LOST...... and I hated myself.
Those people at my first AA meeting welcomed me with open arms. I heard these people speaking about what I needed to hear that night at my first AA meeting. I heard them speak about the obsession to drink, the compulsion to drink and a spiritual loss of values. I heard them speaking about where they came from.....how they got here....and what its like now.
I remember feeling "I am finally home".
What I heard and was given that first AA meeting....... is HOPE.
Homer, if you ever find that you want to stay sober and learn a way of life that is second to none... to LIVE one day at a time.... the most wonderful news is that there is a solution Homer. And all you have to do Homer is to BE where the solution IS...... at AA meetings.
We are all pulling for you Homer. And the only one who can take the action is YOU.
So I would simply suggest this again to you Homer.... to just get up, put your coat on, and get to the nearest AA meeting in your area. We never have to be alone or do this alone....ever again,...... if we choose not to
Love
Patsy
Member
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 610
Yes we care! It might be hard to believe, given that we know very little about you, and I agree that we don't know many details. But because I've been where you are I understand the struggles with alcoholism and I know that for me, it was a very large part of my life. It affected everything. So I guess that in a way, I feel I know you quite well and I care because it was tough for me too.
Take a look at all this support. There is a way through the struggle and everyone here is proof of that. Hang in there and know that you will be ok.
Hope you're doing better today.
Amy
Take a look at all this support. There is a way through the struggle and everyone here is proof of that. Hang in there and know that you will be ok.
Hope you're doing better today.
Amy
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: A van...down by the river!
Posts: 108
Homer,
It's obvious that you want to quit, and like Patsy brought out, when you've had enough of it, you will quit for good. Maybe you just haven't got to that point yet. So, don't dispair.
Once you do get to that point, and you decide to quit for good, then it's just a matter of make life changes, and mental alterations. You'll have to think in terms of making sobriety a "way of life". Think about the stage you're at now. Wouldn't you agree that drinking has become a "way of life' for you? I know we can all relate to that, because that's why it's always SO hard to stop drinking. It's hard to change our ways! Once you become sober, if you want to stay sober, you'll have to change your thinking to make SOBRIETY your "way of life". Then, after a while, being sober will seem so normal to you. And drinking will be ABNORMAL.
Take care,
PG
It's obvious that you want to quit, and like Patsy brought out, when you've had enough of it, you will quit for good. Maybe you just haven't got to that point yet. So, don't dispair.
Once you do get to that point, and you decide to quit for good, then it's just a matter of make life changes, and mental alterations. You'll have to think in terms of making sobriety a "way of life". Think about the stage you're at now. Wouldn't you agree that drinking has become a "way of life' for you? I know we can all relate to that, because that's why it's always SO hard to stop drinking. It's hard to change our ways! Once you become sober, if you want to stay sober, you'll have to change your thinking to make SOBRIETY your "way of life". Then, after a while, being sober will seem so normal to you. And drinking will be ABNORMAL.
Take care,
PG
Paused
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 9
Hey Homer, Look at the bright side: After you drank the beer you came here and "fessed up" rather than got sneaky about it. The wonderful thing about life is that we, in the vast majority of cases, get second, third, fourth, and so on chances. I'm so thankful for that.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Melbourne Victoria
Posts: 16
Hi Homer,
I am new to this, totally new and a moment ago I had the reason for being here in my arms. I don't want to be an alco mum. I can totally relate to what you are saying as I am there too. It is great to have other people to talk to about what's happening but they have been there, perhaps, but not there now. How do we get to where 3 days without a single drink, is not a major milestone. I had one glass of champagne last night and about 8 standard drinks of scotch and coke the night before. I rarely get a hangover. I am regularly tired. I have a 20mth old son. I am a single parent with abusive ex, who still causes me grief fairly regularly and I am studying full time. You seem to be doing really well!! I wish I was better
I am new to this, totally new and a moment ago I had the reason for being here in my arms. I don't want to be an alco mum. I can totally relate to what you are saying as I am there too. It is great to have other people to talk to about what's happening but they have been there, perhaps, but not there now. How do we get to where 3 days without a single drink, is not a major milestone. I had one glass of champagne last night and about 8 standard drinks of scotch and coke the night before. I rarely get a hangover. I am regularly tired. I have a 20mth old son. I am a single parent with abusive ex, who still causes me grief fairly regularly and I am studying full time. You seem to be doing really well!! I wish I was better
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi struggler Welcome
I am glad you found us...
read our post..ask questions...we are here to help YOU.
AA meetings are where I learned how to live a sober life...full of joy and purpose.
Why not check out your local AA?
Do post again...we care.
read our post..ask questions...we are here to help YOU.
AA meetings are where I learned how to live a sober life...full of joy and purpose.
Why not check out your local AA?
Do post again...we care.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 390
Im still here but not doing tooo good.I been drinking 3 days now.Its 9am here and I just opened a beer.Im not giving up just getting my drunk over with early today so later on Ill be sober early enough not to miss the whole day.STUPID,yes I know.I really dont know what to say except thanks to everyone who posts with good intentions on helping me.Sorry to dissappoint ya guys(and myself).
we're all mad here!
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: a padded room with bars
Posts: 1,681
Homer, at least you're trying. Look at where you came from....... drinking all the time, not caring, not trying.
Now your next step is to not drink those beers. Remember how good it felt to be sober for 10 days!
Lots of us care about you here.
Now your next step is to not drink those beers. Remember how good it felt to be sober for 10 days!
Lots of us care about you here.
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