Finding a Sponsor Help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 638
Finding a Sponsor Help
Hello,
I am ten months sober and have been doing it own my own. However a friend took me to something called a Fall Classic which was a big AA convention and it got me thinking about joining the program. Monday night I went to a meeting on my own and really enjoyed it. I'm wanting to get a sponsor but not sure how to pick one out. I'm only 27 and most the men there were much older and I was kind of wanting someone closer to my age. How did others pick who would be there sponsor? I'm not freshly sober or climbing up the walls for a drink so I want to pick the right person.
I am ten months sober and have been doing it own my own. However a friend took me to something called a Fall Classic which was a big AA convention and it got me thinking about joining the program. Monday night I went to a meeting on my own and really enjoyed it. I'm wanting to get a sponsor but not sure how to pick one out. I'm only 27 and most the men there were much older and I was kind of wanting someone closer to my age. How did others pick who would be there sponsor? I'm not freshly sober or climbing up the walls for a drink so I want to pick the right person.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by rws177 
How did others pick who would be there sponsor?
But after 7-8 months, life was starting to feel stale again. I was depressed and bored, and everyone I hung around with in AA told me how great I was doing. I played the role of someone who was recovering. In reality, I was dying right in the middle of AA.
A couple of guys around could see right through that facade I was putting up. They reached out to me and made me uncomfortable as hell. But then I started drinking again, ending in a year long binge of 24/7 drunkenness, they were the guys I called.
They had a solution for me. They weren't scared to talk about it. And they offered it freely. Those guys took me from a drunken, crying, snot running down my face, quivering ball of fear, and showed me the AA program of recovery out of the Big Book.
My life changed indescribably. It's never been the same.
I would look for one of those guys, that talks about powerlessness and a spiritual solution.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Look for the pamphlet "AA Questions and Answers On Sponsorship" on the literature rack or table at one of the meetings you go to. In the meantime you can read it on line here:
http://aa.org/pdf/products/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf
This will give you a better idea of what sponsorship is all about to begin with.
Keith said it very well. Watch and LISTEN. When you hear and see someone 'walking the way they are talking', LIVING a life of sobriety, and speaking of how they worked the steps with their sponsor, that would be the one to talk to about possibly being your sponsor.
Also, please do not feel rejected if the first one or two turn you down. The good ones can only handle so many sponsees at one time. If they turn you down it is because they do not want to 'cheat' you out of their full time.
Happy Sponsor Hunting, and Welcome to AA.
Love and hugs,
http://aa.org/pdf/products/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf
This will give you a better idea of what sponsorship is all about to begin with.
Keith said it very well. Watch and LISTEN. When you hear and see someone 'walking the way they are talking', LIVING a life of sobriety, and speaking of how they worked the steps with their sponsor, that would be the one to talk to about possibly being your sponsor.
Also, please do not feel rejected if the first one or two turn you down. The good ones can only handle so many sponsees at one time. If they turn you down it is because they do not want to 'cheat' you out of their full time.
Happy Sponsor Hunting, and Welcome to AA.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 583
rws177
I wasn't happy, my thoughts were 10,000 miles an hour, I was uneasy and I wanted to stay sober. I looked/listened and found a man that had those things I wanted. I said I needed a sponsor and would he be my sponsor. Turned out that night he was sitting next to his sponsor.
Kind of like asking for directions, most of suck at it but once we do it and ask for hand holding we make it there.
I wasn't happy, my thoughts were 10,000 miles an hour, I was uneasy and I wanted to stay sober. I looked/listened and found a man that had those things I wanted. I said I needed a sponsor and would he be my sponsor. Turned out that night he was sitting next to his sponsor.
Kind of like asking for directions, most of suck at it but once we do it and ask for hand holding we make it there.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
This question gets asked alot on the boards.
Lucky for me, i was approached by my sponsor.
He sat with the newcomers and didnt share much.
when he did share he talked of a spiritual solution outlined in a book called alcoholics anonymous.
he said he had recovered.......which tended to get people shuffling in their seats...
id tried lots of solutions including hundreds of meetings..and still got drunk or wanted to blow my head off sober.
Strangely i was interested because he seemed so relaxed and sat with us in the back row..
he didnt look surprised when i was a year sober...i was stunned.
he had the solution and took the time to take me through the book and share his experience with me with regards to the 12 steps.
maybe at the next meeting you attend you could share if there is anyone there prepared to guide you through the steps..working through the book.
if there isnt.......go find another meeting where there is.
Lucky for me, i was approached by my sponsor.
He sat with the newcomers and didnt share much.
when he did share he talked of a spiritual solution outlined in a book called alcoholics anonymous.
he said he had recovered.......which tended to get people shuffling in their seats...
id tried lots of solutions including hundreds of meetings..and still got drunk or wanted to blow my head off sober.
Strangely i was interested because he seemed so relaxed and sat with us in the back row..
he didnt look surprised when i was a year sober...i was stunned.
he had the solution and took the time to take me through the book and share his experience with me with regards to the 12 steps.
maybe at the next meeting you attend you could share if there is anyone there prepared to guide you through the steps..working through the book.
if there isnt.......go find another meeting where there is.
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
Like I wanted someone closer to my age, and my sponsor is probably only 5 yrs older than me, but he has 10yrs sober. Try going to a young people's meeting, that's where I found mine, but there all over, just keep your eyes open
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