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-   -   Uncomforable (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/208733-uncomforable.html)

Rewired 09-09-2010 09:46 AM

Uncomforable
 
I have a question what makes you respond to certain threads and not others? This is the insecure person I am. Least I read all of your posts and I hope you are doing well.

LaFemme 09-09-2010 09:50 AM

Gosh Kody...I respond to a lot of threads because I've got a big mouth, that translates to excessive posting:-) I actually find myself trying to refrain from posting...I ask myself why I am posting...is it just to write something clever, or feel better about myself, or can I maybe contribute to someone else's well being. But sometimes I just post without thinking.

I agree, Least rocks:-)

Rewired 09-09-2010 09:59 AM

Don't stop posting (I LOVE IT) for me it helps to know that people understand and care. I have been a long time reader of posts but I know for my recovery I need to be more reactive.

Mark75 09-09-2010 10:06 AM

Kody...

I used to post a whole lot, now just a lot ;) as you can see by my post count under my avatar...

Post away if you are new... questions are what I had a lot of early, I should be asking more than I do now. I try not to give advice, though I often fail there, progress, not perfection... What I try to do now is just post about my experience... I have some experience with posting here at SR (ya think!?!?)... some good, some bad, some really bad and most just so so... If I think I've hurt someone's feelings because I acted like a jerk, I'll say so, either in a post or a PM to that person...

Share your experience... that's the best advice :) I can give. Ask questions when you don't understand and especially post if something's troubling you. Don't be shy.

Mark

MelissaNoDrugs 09-09-2010 10:16 AM

kody99,

I think this board is great. By all means read and post!

More important however, is go to a meeting. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this Day One for you? I think it is critical that you get your recovery off to the right start. While internet fellowship is good, nothing beats a face-to-face meeting. And that AA coffee is the best! I mean it, theres something about the coffeee at an AA meeting...oh well I'm rambling....

Go to a meeting!

least 09-09-2010 10:16 AM

I post when I think I can be of help. And some days more than others. Sometimes I just read and 'thank' posts and don't reply. Just depends on the day and how I'm feeling.:)

Che 09-09-2010 10:41 AM

I post when I have something to say. I don't post when I fear I'll be overly preachy or uninteresting. Sometimes I am anyway.

One thing I'll say for these forums is that there never seems to be any long or personal debates. Everyone has their say and no one is berated for it. That much I really like, and I don't really understand why this site is so successful for it. Perhaps it is the fact that you can just Thanks button the posts you like, so various opinions aren't repeated too much. Still, it is pretty remarkable, considering what the rest of the internet is like.

Perhaps what makes this site so useful is that everyone who posts here has experience. No one is speaking from a position they've never occupied. You never have to agree with the advice you're given, but at least you know it is from someone who's used it themselves.

julez 09-09-2010 10:45 AM

I post a lot because #1 I have a lot to say :) #2 I like it when people post on my threads and give feedback, so I try and return the favor. And #3 because I'm genuinely concerned, and care about what everyone is going through and feeling.

And I agree with Che. I'm on another site for moms and SHEESH are some of them MEAN!!!

Rewired 09-09-2010 12:24 PM

Yes this was supposed to be day one but I didn't make it. I know I can do this and I know that AA will only make it easier. Sometimes the surrender thing gets in my way. Just someitmes in meetings they go on and on I am not one to sit still for long. I just don't understand the selfishness of people who carry on.

LaFemme 09-09-2010 12:31 PM

Hey Kody! Sorry you didn't make it today. Before you go to sleep tonight maybe get rid of all the alcohol in the house...it helped me.

Sounds like you have some problems with AA, have you tried alternative avenues? If you don't like group settings there are one on one counseling sessions. Or maybe you just haven't found the right AA group? I'm not in AA, but I think it is a great starting point for a lot of people. If you go it alone, you really need to get a plan in place because it means you won't be following one that someone else has already set up. Maybe try reading the Big Book, I hear it's got a lot of great advice.

For me, I did about 5 years of reading, researching, praying and failing before things clicked. So I recommend trying a different way than me:headbange

BellaTeal 09-09-2010 12:41 PM

I only post when I have something I really REALLY want to say. I don't post often because of my own insecurities. I do read all of the threads, though.

In fact, I'm so insecure that if no one finds my posts useful I feel like I said something horribly wrong lol!

GettingStronger2 09-09-2010 12:52 PM

I have three kids at home. . .it just sort of depends on what is going on in the house at the time!

Hope you are doing okay. .. i understand the insecure feelings.

tallcactus 09-10-2010 01:48 AM

I try to read everyone's post, when I have the time.
Lots of great advice always given, so most times I only comment if what I have to offer was not brought up already. Sometimes I like to share what has worked for me and I like to share my own experience.

Rewired 09-10-2010 04:01 AM

Thank you for all your responses. Today is going to be my day one again. I have no alcohol in the house. I plan on posting on here and going to AA. I also am very insecure. But I need to do something different this time and if it takes opening up and talking with other people than I will have to do it.

inbloom 09-10-2010 04:46 AM

WTG Kody in getting right back to day 1. I'm early in my sobriety so I spend more time reading and listening to what worked for others. I also have insecurities about expressing myself in written form because it's just not a strength of mine. When I first joined over a month ago, there was a post from someone who was clearly in some acute medical distress due to drinking. It hit home for me in a huge way because given the opportunity, I'd gloss over the damage I was doing to myself.

For me, sobriety is very humbling because it's forcing me to look at myself. I need that because when I get caught up in what others are doing, I am prone to not taking responsibility for myself. Taking it one day at a time has been a gift for me. I've promised myself that just today, I won't drink. I'll worry about tomorrow when it comes.

The wisdom here is stunning. Stay close and don't drink no matter what. Be well.

Dee74 09-10-2010 04:48 AM

I hope you follow through and try something different this time Kody - it will be worth it :)
D

AlcoholicOrNot 09-10-2010 04:56 AM

Kody,

Like the others, I post when I believe I have something of relevance to add. In addition, I get a lot of satisfaction in reading & responding to folks just starting out on their journey.
So please, keep us posted - I'll be looking out for your statuses :herewego

lildawg 09-10-2010 05:53 AM

Kody - I am sorry I didn't see this yesterday. My new post function doesn't work quite like I'd like it to. Some of the new posts will show up in bold, but not all. That means I miss quite a bit.

I reply to threads if something the poster brought up a topic that resonates with me. Sometimes, I reply because I have had the same experience and think I have something to offer. Think is the operative word, there. <grins> Often, I won't reply to a thread that is one long paragraph with no punctuation. I feel bad about those, but they're just too difficult and time consuming to read.

Congratulations on your day one. When I was newly sober, I had a tough time sitting still and listening to other people. Later, I learned that one of my personality flaws is impatience. Impatience made me drink because alcohol softened the hard edges and made me not care that things weren't moving fast enough.

If you know AA helps you, go. When you get antsy and bored, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Focus on why you're there . . . and pray for the person who is talking. Eventually, they'll stop and a few minutes more will have passed. Elsewhere on SR, I read a suggestion to go to a meeting studying the Big Book or the 12 Steps. The person making the suggestion said these meetings were more focused and helpful to them than the discussion meetings.

Have a good day. The important thing is to get through it.

Rewired 09-11-2010 05:06 AM

Well made it through yesterday. Amazingly I feel pretty good. The neighbors came over and we played cards and they drank I didn't even have a desire to drink. For some reason watching other people drink is not a trigger for me. In the end I always just drank by myself (like alot of people).

CarolD 09-11-2010 06:26 AM

Good to know you are on Day 2.....:yup:
Yes...forward is the correct direction


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