Kitty
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 73
Kitty
I had over 4 months sober then my kitty got sick (I used that as an excuse to drink). Now I have to put her to sleep and I am not dealing very well with that. I am just curious on how any of you have handled it. My children are very attached to her (do I take them with me when I put her to sleep).
I have another question I have an eating disorder and obsess over the calories I eat. When I am not drinking I think I replace the alcohol with my calorie counting. Have any of you done this and how have you stopped doing it?
I have another question I have an eating disorder and obsess over the calories I eat. When I am not drinking I think I replace the alcohol with my calorie counting. Have any of you done this and how have you stopped doing it?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Losing a pet is always so sad.
I'm sorry that is happening.
I don't have experience with either that
or with ED issues.
I sure hope you will be back on your sobriety soon.
Last edited by CarolD; 09-09-2010 at 12:13 AM.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Kody))) - I'm so sorry about your kitty
I don't know about taking the kids with you when you have her put to sleep. I know, with my first cat (and I was GROWN), I couldn't stay at the vet's and watch. Now I have regrets, but I do know my cat knew he was loved. One of my cats, now, has FIV and leukemia, but is hanging in there, for now. I know how much our furbabies mean to those of us who have them.
As far as your drinking/calorie watching, several people replace drinking/using with another "addiction" or obsession. Oftentimes, we just aren't comfortable being with our thoughts and feelings, and need something to focus on...instead of learning that feelings/emotions won't kill us, though they're a bit uncomfortable.
I hope you are able to regain your sobriety. I know when I first came here, I read a lot...made me feel better that I wasn't so alone, and others were going through, or had been through, similar situations.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I don't know about taking the kids with you when you have her put to sleep. I know, with my first cat (and I was GROWN), I couldn't stay at the vet's and watch. Now I have regrets, but I do know my cat knew he was loved. One of my cats, now, has FIV and leukemia, but is hanging in there, for now. I know how much our furbabies mean to those of us who have them.As far as your drinking/calorie watching, several people replace drinking/using with another "addiction" or obsession. Oftentimes, we just aren't comfortable being with our thoughts and feelings, and need something to focus on...instead of learning that feelings/emotions won't kill us, though they're a bit uncomfortable.
I hope you are able to regain your sobriety. I know when I first came here, I read a lot...made me feel better that I wasn't so alone, and others were going through, or had been through, similar situations.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Between Serenity and Despair
Posts: 522
I am so sorry to hear about your kitty. They become family to us, pets do. As for taking your children with you to have her put to sleep, though . . . I don't know. I believe pets do teach children about the cycle of life and about loving and respecting other living things. However, watching a pet put to sleep could border on traumatic. On the other hand, it could also teach more about the responsibility of owning a pet. You're really the only person who knows enough about your family dynamic to know what to do.
You know that some vets will come to your home and put your animal to sleep, right? That may be an option if you want the entire family to be present.
As for replacing your alcohol with the eating disorder, you might want to talk to an a counselor or therapist specializing in addictions and eating disorders. That might help more than anything we can tell you.
(((hugs))) Life does throw us some monkey wrenches. Not having alcohol to dull those times is a test of our strength. You learn, though. You learn how to be strong. You learn how to release your emotions. You learn to live without a crutch. It hurts, but you come out on the other side a little bit stronger.
You know that some vets will come to your home and put your animal to sleep, right? That may be an option if you want the entire family to be present.
As for replacing your alcohol with the eating disorder, you might want to talk to an a counselor or therapist specializing in addictions and eating disorders. That might help more than anything we can tell you.
(((hugs))) Life does throw us some monkey wrenches. Not having alcohol to dull those times is a test of our strength. You learn, though. You learn how to be strong. You learn how to release your emotions. You learn to live without a crutch. It hurts, but you come out on the other side a little bit stronger.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
So sorry about your cat it is hard to lose a loved one. I had to put my dog to sleep 10 days after my last drink, she had been ill for about 8 months and while I was in the hospital for a week from an alcohol and RX drug overdose she went downhill fast. I blamed myself saying that if I hadn't od'd she would have lived longer but I knew that drinking again would not save her and it would kill me. I also had to put down an 18 yr old cat about 7 yrs ago. I stayed with my cat and my dog as they took their last breath and it gave me a lot of closure, it is an extremely peaceful and painless procedure; I felt the life had already gone out of both pets before that final injection so it was good to see them finally at peace. Whether or not you take the kids would depend to me on their ages and their emotional situation.
I also established a virtual memorial for my pets at rainbow bridge . com and continued to visit the memorial for at least a year after they passed which offered me a lot of comfort even complete strangers posted messages it was beautiful.
I also established a virtual memorial for my pets at rainbow bridge . com and continued to visit the memorial for at least a year after they passed which offered me a lot of comfort even complete strangers posted messages it was beautiful.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
I'm so sorry about your cat. I agree with lildawg about animals teaching children about the cycle of life. I have also had the vet come to the house to put my dog to sleep. It was incredibly peaceful and I was grateful I was there for him and that it was at home. We drove him to get cremated ourselves and picked him up. Everything was very respectful.
Every animal I have ever lost has been an excuse to drink...somehow I don't think that made them happy but they would never judge me. Let yourself grieve the healthy way..sober.
Every animal I have ever lost has been an excuse to drink...somehow I don't think that made them happy but they would never judge me. Let yourself grieve the healthy way..sober.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Kody,
I'm so sorry about you beloved pet. I had to have my cat put down and I chose to be there with him. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. As far as your children go........that's a hard question to answer. My first reaction was No I wouldn't do it. But after reading the posts above I agree its a decision you have to make for your family. I stayed while he was put down but couldn't handle bringing him to be cremated. My ex-husband did that. Please read the rainbow bridge, it is beautiful and I would let your children read it too. It brings me such peace.
I do know that drinking will NOT change anything. It's a very upsetting time but alcohol will only cloud over the issue. You can't drink it away. I know you want to numb your feelings but you will only hurt yourself. Being sober and present for your children is what they need.
As far as obsessing about calories I think I would see a therapist about that. Figure out why your trading one addiction for another. Just my thoughts on the issue. We alcoholics do tend to find something else to fixate on.
My thoughts and prayers are with you through this difficult time. :ghug3
I'm so sorry about you beloved pet. I had to have my cat put down and I chose to be there with him. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. As far as your children go........that's a hard question to answer. My first reaction was No I wouldn't do it. But after reading the posts above I agree its a decision you have to make for your family. I stayed while he was put down but couldn't handle bringing him to be cremated. My ex-husband did that. Please read the rainbow bridge, it is beautiful and I would let your children read it too. It brings me such peace.
I do know that drinking will NOT change anything. It's a very upsetting time but alcohol will only cloud over the issue. You can't drink it away. I know you want to numb your feelings but you will only hurt yourself. Being sober and present for your children is what they need.
As far as obsessing about calories I think I would see a therapist about that. Figure out why your trading one addiction for another. Just my thoughts on the issue. We alcoholics do tend to find something else to fixate on.
My thoughts and prayers are with you through this difficult time. :ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 73
Thank you for all your responses. I did not know that they could put your pet to sleep at home I will have to look into it. I am not in a hurry to put her to sleep but my dh is. She is going to bathroom all over the house and is now biting me so I know the time is now to put her down.
To everyone out there that thinks you might have a problem you probably do. I progessed so fast that it was like being on a rollercoaster. My last daughter was born very ill I took care of her and she got better but I found that I could not sleep at night when she got better so what started out as a few beers at night turned into a fifth of vodka.
The main problem I have right now is not that I can't quit but that I can. My withdrawals are not that bad if I don't drink for an extended period. When I have become sober I obsess over when I can drink again. I do go to AA but some people just go on and on and it can be so irratating that I want to drink. I know the phrase about take the good and leave the rest behind but I am a very hyper person by nature and can't seem to sit still. I know I am rambling but I guess I need to get this out.
To everyone out there that thinks you might have a problem you probably do. I progessed so fast that it was like being on a rollercoaster. My last daughter was born very ill I took care of her and she got better but I found that I could not sleep at night when she got better so what started out as a few beers at night turned into a fifth of vodka.
The main problem I have right now is not that I can't quit but that I can. My withdrawals are not that bad if I don't drink for an extended period. When I have become sober I obsess over when I can drink again. I do go to AA but some people just go on and on and it can be so irratating that I want to drink. I know the phrase about take the good and leave the rest behind but I am a very hyper person by nature and can't seem to sit still. I know I am rambling but I guess I need to get this out.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
I'm so sorry about your kitty. I had to put my beloved dog down, and I stayed with him. Nothing could have prepared me for the absolutel finality of it, or what a lifeless animal feels like in your arms. Even sleeping, it feels different. If it were me, I wouldnt take my kids.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Tyler, TX
Posts: 23
I'm a dog person, so while I cannot mourn the exiting of a cat from this world, I do send you my condolences on the loss of a pet.
There are plenty of reasons to drink. If not the cat, there would be something else. Your brain will invent them if they don't come along in the natural course of events. I haven't read all the other posts, but I if somebody didn't recommend for you to use what you learned in this experience as a weapon in your arsenal against future reasons to drink, then I will formally submit that advice now.
As for calorie counting as replacement- completely natural. You obviously have a compulsive personality. When you remove one compulsion, you WILL try to replace it with another. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Some of the most successful people in the world were and/or are compulsive (Edison, Einstein, Jefferson, Mother Theresa, Oppenheimer... okay, not Oppenheimer). The trick is to find a constructive compulsion. There are plenty of things out there worthy of a large investment of yourself. Find one!
There are plenty of reasons to drink. If not the cat, there would be something else. Your brain will invent them if they don't come along in the natural course of events. I haven't read all the other posts, but I if somebody didn't recommend for you to use what you learned in this experience as a weapon in your arsenal against future reasons to drink, then I will formally submit that advice now.
As for calorie counting as replacement- completely natural. You obviously have a compulsive personality. When you remove one compulsion, you WILL try to replace it with another. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Some of the most successful people in the world were and/or are compulsive (Edison, Einstein, Jefferson, Mother Theresa, Oppenheimer... okay, not Oppenheimer). The trick is to find a constructive compulsion. There are plenty of things out there worthy of a large investment of yourself. Find one!
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 650
Sorry to hear about your cat.
I too had an ED (bulimia) and interchanged it with my drug addiction, sometimes dependent on both at the same time. The only thing that really helped me is dealing with the underlying issues. Do you go to AA? Working the steps has made it possible for many alcoholics to deal with the underlying feelings that cause their alcoholism, those same feelings can cause eating disorders too.
I too had an ED (bulimia) and interchanged it with my drug addiction, sometimes dependent on both at the same time. The only thing that really helped me is dealing with the underlying issues. Do you go to AA? Working the steps has made it possible for many alcoholics to deal with the underlying feelings that cause their alcoholism, those same feelings can cause eating disorders too.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Tyler, TX
Posts: 23
Sorry, I thought of something else since the trigger here is the grieving process. This something nobody told me when I quit drinking.
It is my conviction that an alcoholic must grieve the loss of alcohol.
I don't remember all twelve steps anymore, but I don't remember that being one of them. I think I can safely say that for all of us, alcohol was a dear friend. It was there for us when nobody else was, through thick and thin. It helped us through some rough times. It gave without asking anything in return. It was always happy to see us. It was a wonderful listener. It emboldened us. And, most importantly, we loved it more than anything else in the world. Sobriety means the death of that friend. Once we are sober, we see alcohol for what it really was: a destructive addiction, but the alcoholic you still exists in your mind, and he/she disagrees. I found it immensely helpful to bury the alcoholic me along with my dear friend, alcohol. I even went so far as to make an effigy and have a little ceremony. It wasn't exactly a viking funeral, but it did the trick.
It is my conviction that an alcoholic must grieve the loss of alcohol.
I don't remember all twelve steps anymore, but I don't remember that being one of them. I think I can safely say that for all of us, alcohol was a dear friend. It was there for us when nobody else was, through thick and thin. It helped us through some rough times. It gave without asking anything in return. It was always happy to see us. It was a wonderful listener. It emboldened us. And, most importantly, we loved it more than anything else in the world. Sobriety means the death of that friend. Once we are sober, we see alcohol for what it really was: a destructive addiction, but the alcoholic you still exists in your mind, and he/she disagrees. I found it immensely helpful to bury the alcoholic me along with my dear friend, alcohol. I even went so far as to make an effigy and have a little ceremony. It wasn't exactly a viking funeral, but it did the trick.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 73
I agree about mourning alcohol. I think I should have a ceremony to let a bad friend go. I made my appt for Kitty on Tuesday so I will have her for a few more days even though she won't let me touch her.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: U.K.
Posts: 65
I am so very sorry to hear about your cat, as a cat lover and owner I can relate to some of the feelings you have
I often think about how I'd cope if my pets got sick, especially now in my very early days of sobriety as they give me hope and strength. I guess I would try and think about what a great life I've given them. I really hope that the next few days are not too difficult for you and you are able to stay strong.
I often think about how I'd cope if my pets got sick, especially now in my very early days of sobriety as they give me hope and strength. I guess I would try and think about what a great life I've given them. I really hope that the next few days are not too difficult for you and you are able to stay strong.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Between Serenity and Despair
Posts: 522
Originally Posted by kody99 
I agree about mourning alcohol. I think I should have a ceremony to let a bad friend go. I made my appt for Kitty on Tuesday so I will have her for a few more days even though she won't let me touch her.
I say take comfort in your kitty for the next few days. Make sure you treat her with love and patience. When it's over, look at yourself in the mirror and see a good, decent person looking back. It takes a special kind of person to do what's right for her pet. May the strength of the higher power who cares for animals be with you.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
((Big Hugs)) I am so sorry to hear about your beloved kitty....cats are so special...I too just lost mine a month ago, she was hit by a car... I managed not to drink..and frankly I'm quite surprised I didn't... stay strong, and honour your kitty by staying sober....I'm sure she would want that...xo
In regards to calorie counting..yes I can get a little carried away with it at times...it's almost like we replace something for something we don't have anymore....
I managed not to drink..and frankly I'm quite surprised I didn't... stay strong, and honour your kitty by staying sober....I'm sure she would want that...xoIn regards to calorie counting..yes I can get a little carried away with it at times...it's almost like we replace something for something we don't have anymore....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Kody,
I am sorry that you have a sick kitty. I lost a cat to kidney disease two years ago, and it was a tough time. I have four other cats, who are all getting older. sadly, we outlive our pets, but we give them the best life we can, and that is a great thing. some little animals dont have it so good. I am sure that you have given your kitty a happy life. dont feel badly about letting her go, tho. it is the last , and most unselfish thing that we do for them, to keep them from suffering.
I put a loved kitty to sleep years ago, and me and three kids took him together, but only my 14year old son went in to hold him, as the vet gave him his "angel wings". He wanted to be the brave one for us, and he held tom thru it all.
us girls sat in the waiting room and cried. that is how it is, tho. if they are old enough to understand, it is good to be honest, for that is a normal part of life, and children are so much better at dealing with it, than we think they may be. they grieve from the heart, and do their little "memorial service" , and then they are able to get past it pretty quickly. I dont think I'd want to let little ones watch, but that is me. sometimes , it may not go quite as peacefully, by appearance, as we would like. it could be distressing, if the kitty meows , or something else that normally does not happen. usually , there is no problem,but there is a small chance , and it could upset them. just my opinion- you know your children, and what is right for them.
hang in there, you are in the right place, and this is such a wonderful forum. I am glad that you are here. you will get it right
thinking of you and your kitty, and hoping for peace for you all. it is good that you are aware of your calorie counting - that is how you begin to change things. wishing you well, and success with all that you dream of.
chicory
I am sorry that you have a sick kitty. I lost a cat to kidney disease two years ago, and it was a tough time. I have four other cats, who are all getting older. sadly, we outlive our pets, but we give them the best life we can, and that is a great thing. some little animals dont have it so good. I am sure that you have given your kitty a happy life. dont feel badly about letting her go, tho. it is the last , and most unselfish thing that we do for them, to keep them from suffering.
I put a loved kitty to sleep years ago, and me and three kids took him together, but only my 14year old son went in to hold him, as the vet gave him his "angel wings". He wanted to be the brave one for us, and he held tom thru it all.
us girls sat in the waiting room and cried. that is how it is, tho. if they are old enough to understand, it is good to be honest, for that is a normal part of life, and children are so much better at dealing with it, than we think they may be. they grieve from the heart, and do their little "memorial service" , and then they are able to get past it pretty quickly. I dont think I'd want to let little ones watch, but that is me. sometimes , it may not go quite as peacefully, by appearance, as we would like. it could be distressing, if the kitty meows , or something else that normally does not happen. usually , there is no problem,but there is a small chance , and it could upset them. just my opinion- you know your children, and what is right for them.
hang in there, you are in the right place, and this is such a wonderful forum. I am glad that you are here. you will get it right
thinking of you and your kitty, and hoping for peace for you all. it is good that you are aware of your calorie counting - that is how you begin to change things. wishing you well, and success with all that you dream of.
chicory
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