Zero relapses so far?
 

How many of you decided to stop drinking and so far have not relapsed? I ask because this is my first REAL attempt and I am 65 days in and still can't wrap my head around the notion that I have had my last glass of wine FOREVER! I know that I am supposed to take it one day at a time but can't help thinking this way.

I have taken a hard look at myself in the past few months via intensive therapy, read a lot and of course came here multiple times a day. It has been an amazing journey and I feel really good about it.

So why do I feel like "testing" myself by trying a glass of wine at my anniversary dinner with my DH (he is ok with this by the way) as part of this process too? I have never even tried to stop at one or two and without knowing what will happen I am afraid I will obsess about the "what if I can" until I try to. If I do stop at 1 or 2 but want more I will have my answer and will accept that I am done forever.

I have never relapsed and never will.
I have forums to thank for showing me a million times what will happen if I "test" myself.
I have never seen success come from what you are thinking, never.
Best.

I've often heard it said that "relapse isn't a requirment"--it hasn't been (so far) for me with two years in. I did plenty of experimenting, myself, before I quit drinking and I am satisfied I can't drink normally.

It is actually very typical for alcoholics with a certain amount of sobriety to feel the pull to "test the waters" again.

For me, the problem isn't that I would go off the deep end right away. The first one or two times I drink, I would probably be able to control it and think, "This is no big deal--what was I so worried about?" But I think it would be a matter of weeks at the most before I find myself having a blowout drunkfest.

IF I was then able to put the brakes on again, I would then be back to the misery of withdrawal, starting back from scratch. Ugh.

I guess it all boils down to whether you're "done" drinking. If you aren't, you aren't. But I'd think carefully before putting myself back into the mess if I were you.

Once I was done, I was done.. it just took a while to get there.. but really, I knew I wasn't ready when I kept drinking (duh!). Once I made a commitment to a life of sobriety, and got the help I needed (and was willing to do anything it took), I haven't even thought of looking back.

I stopped drinking 11/1/07 after a puking blood hangover that was so bad I couldn't get out of bed for a few days. I stayed quit for about a month but wasn't serious about it. When my dad came to visit we were drinking. I kept on drinking to "ring in the New Year." I was unsteady and miserable. I decided when the year '07 was over, so was my drinking. I haven't picked it up again.

^^This idea keeps me quit. I don't think I have it in me to quit again. If I were to start again, it would be the last time.

I tried to quit a million times but never made it past a few days...I have heard that referred to as abbreak from drinking as opposed to real sobriety. Regardless, this is my first solid real attempt at sobriety and I don't intend to ever have to have another taste of alcohol. I have been working hard to change my view on alcohol and I am 93% good. I am working on the last 7%.

I think I still am a little vulnerable for something blindsiding me from out of nowhere. But to plan to deliberately test myself...no way...not even on the table to discuss.

P.s. rereading my post for typos I had to smile at the way I phrased "have to have another taste of alcohol." Maybe I'm closer to 95%:-)

well, i am still early in my sobriety -- 96 days. I have not had a relapse, and this is the first time i have ever tried to quit drinking. I am not sure i have a relapse in me. I was done when i quit this time. Just done. I do listen to other people when they relapse, what they were going through before, during and after. I learn a lot that way.

I may relapse. It is always something I think about. But i am working hard to make sure it never happens.

Fear of the future - "How am I going to keep this up" is a biggie on the list of reasons ppl lose to this disease. Resentments (living in the pains of our past) are the #1 offender true enough, but fear is HUGE for a lot of us.

Back when I thought I was running the show, I was always afraid of falling sort or failing completely. I worried about what ppl thought about me more than what I thought about myself. I was afraid sobriety wouldn't be any fun so I'd trick myself into thinking that maayyyyyyyybe a few drinks wouldn't be so bad. Then I'd remember that "a few" ALWAYS = everything I can drink.

I don't know if you're in AA or not but there's a part of the book (p151 and 152 - available here) that speaks to your feelings.... I want to drink, but I don't want to drink, but I really kinda want to drink........but I know I can't.....

67 days in on my first try :)

Trying to quit cigarettes a couple dozen times until I managed to stop about 15 years ago taught me much about addiction and how your brain can work against your best intensions.

I won't drink again because one equals many!

Murray

This Saturday nite is my anniversary dinner with hubby. I guess if I really wanted to drink, the fact that he is ok with me ordering a glass of wine, would make me happy but it does not. To quote La Femme I wish the offer "was not even on the table" L.F those were my EXACT words when I talked about this in group last nite!!!

Guess it boils down to 1) I wish I could drink like a "normal" person and 2) my track record proves I am not a "normal" drinker. The sooner I let go of the idea that I ever will be the better off I will be. I do believe I would be okay for awhile but the evidence is very strong that I would not be okay in the long run.

I so want to get to the point where I do not think about, want or miss my wine!! I just know it would be so freeing!!

I had several attempts to stop drinking when I tried it on my own.

I have been sober nearly 10 years now (3/13/01 is my sobriety date) and have had no relapse. Personally, I think it has to do with the fact that I utilize a recovery program. It also has to do with the fact that I finally saw my drinking for what it was, a slow suicide that was taking everyone who cared about me down with it. I made a choice that I wanted to live.

Yes, I have had "urges" but not compulsions to drink. To me an urge is I am having a bad day and the thought to drink crosses my mind. I know those will pass though so I don't give them anymore thought than I would anything else. They are just fleeting thoughts.

It was real important for me to distinguish between relapses and just taking a break between drinks because i did the latter a few times for anything up to a year...what a relief to actually associate inner change with relapse and to understand that if there is no inner change it is just a loooong break between drinks...

Certainly then a ralapse can be looked at objectively and can be used in a positive way to take another look at that persons recovery plan:-)

IMO, he is okay with it, probably, because he is not an alcoholic and doesn't understand the nature of the beast.

I nearly died in August 2007 from alcohol and prescription drug overdose and I don't even remember taking the first drink that day. One week later while I was still in the hospital I accepted the fact that I was an alcoholic and could never drink again and I haven't and I don't want to ever drink again, I like myself now and have no need for that poison.

Like others have stated, I'm quite serious about living a sober life this time. I was just resting my body in the past so I could start back up. I did have a little slip one Sunday early in August, luckily I only had 2-3 beers and realized I was making a serious mistake, poured the rest down the drain. If I just full on started drinking all day everyday again...well, I just don't think I'd let myself do that. I let alcohol drive my life long enough.

Hey Huntwc Congrats on your 65 days so far.

You mentioned about that you had wished the offer was not even on the table. Does your Husband know you are not a normal drinker and that you are in full recovery? Because he should not be "ok" with a glass of wine as it would be a reset for the 65 plus days you have worked so hard for.

My wife is constantly trying to get me to be her drinking buddy again and it sure is tough but as time goes by the more I want to hold on the the sober days I have worked so hard for.

Enjoy your anniversary without alcohol and I can promise you that in the morning you will be happy you made that decision rather than start at day 1 again.

I know if I had even a single glass of wine / beer or whatever I would be running to the local liquor store to finish myself right proper.

Then the madness would begin..

I had a relapse that I thought was just "me having a drink or 2 to deal with a situation" and it turned into me getting drunk, and wasting the next day being hung over. I know that some people relapse and drink for days straight, and as glad as I am that I didn't do that, I still drank, tried to moderate, and couldnt. Bottom line, normal people don't do that. That was enough "testing the waters" for me.

I'm in early recovery ...

I had no confidence. Nor any sense of accomplishment for a sober day. Reaching 90 days was always so difficult when the noise entered my head.

Feel great about those 65 days. You're doing well from what I can tell.
*handshake

Maybe it's working this time for me because I only worry about today. I no longer regret that I can't drink anymore. I miss it, but what does that matter? It hurt a lot, and that's the most important thing to keep up front for me.
Real or not, I try my best, and make sure I am doing all I can do. It's a process. They say it will get better. so close to five months.

Congrats to ALL of you on your sobriety...each and everyone one of you is an inspiration not just in time sober but attitude as well. Hi BCBoy...yes my husband knows that I have a problem but he does not fully understand what being alcoholic entails. Several of my family members who are also problem drinkers have taken "breaks" from drinking and returned to it without going back to problem drinking so I think he thinks I can too.

The difference, like so many of you have said though, is between taking breaks and living sober. My heart tells me that life "sober" is better and happier. The past 2+ months are proof of that. I just want my head to be able to accept the done forever part and be happy with it!!!!