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Zero relapses so far?

Old 09-09-2010, 03:30 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by DrivingVacation View Post
So what happens if some of you do relapse?
I'm already guilty, as predicted.

I'm basing my future sobriety as an actuary for an insurance company would - I look at conditions in my life and I'm trying to build a forecast of when I will next fail (or in the insurance world, crash a car, have a house burn or flood, lose a limb or a life, etc.).

If I beat my expected sobriety time, SCORE!!! If not, reset the game and start playing - I'm playing against myself, no one else, for the best score ever. And just yesterday I admitted to needing help reading the instructions and playing the game in the first place.
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Old 09-09-2010, 04:15 PM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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I think if you're setting up a self-fulfilled prophecy MeAndOnlyMe. If you think that a sudden traumatic event is going to set you off, then every time something happens to you you're going to make a judgment on whether this is horrible enough for you to drink or not. In my opinion you should already be thinking that alcohol doesn't help, and so therefore it can never be the solution to emotional turmoil. Try thinking of an alternate solution you could use in case of something bad happening. If you go to AA, that's probably the best use of the numbers they exchange.
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Old 09-09-2010, 07:12 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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I have not relapsed. Day 48 here on my first and only try. Although I am not saying I think it will be effortless, I am confident that I will continue to stay sober going forward. I know exactly how furious I would be with myself if I took another drink, and knowing that is what has kept me from doing it on the very rare occasions so far when I've been tempted. For the most part, the desire is gone anyway.

If my confidence comes off as smugness, I am sorry, but it is not meant that way. It has nothing to do with anyone else; everyone's journey is personal.
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Old 09-09-2010, 07:36 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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Cool

Originally Posted by DrivingVacation View Post
So what happens if some of you do relapse?
What happens if you DON'T.....? GoForIt guys 'n gals.....! It can be dont.

Now, I know this is not the 'AA' forum, but since I got sober in the rooms of AA, this is my experience. When I was early in recovery, I used to say things like, "I've quit forever," or "I will never drink again." These statements were greeted, even by AAer's with, "Don't say things like 'forever' or 'never;' you could be setting yourself up." My only response for them was that I was paraphrasing the BB in that, like the good doctor, I had quit for good and all. Of course I was usually pelted with saying like, "She's just a relapse waiting to happen." ...............well..............

This past June, just before AA's International Convention, I celebrated 24 years of continued sobriety; happy, joyous, free, clean, and serene; all this with ZERO relapses. So, it can be done....

Plz, note, this is not arrogant (another taunt I've endured); nor self-righteous; nor smug; it's just a fact.....I worked AA's 12-Step Program; had a psychic change (a spiritual experience, spiritual awareness, spiritual awakening, whatever one wants to call it); have kept myself psychicly fit (or spiritually fit); and the rest is history.

I have recovered (just like the BB said). I ceased fighting anything or anyone--even alcohol. My sanity has returned. I am no longer interested in liquor. I react sanely and normally, and I found that this happened automatically. I have a new attitude toward liquor, and I got this without any thought or effort on my part. It just came. I am not fighting it. I have been placed in a position of neutrality.The problem has been removed. It does not exist. I am neither cocky nor. This is just my experience.

.....and it can be yours, too. Yes, relapses happen (this is not a put-down; I know lots of folks with good, lont-term sobriety now who relapsed along the way), but they're not a requirement (I also know a number of folks who have good, long-term sobriety without a relapse).

So, whatever you decide (AA, SMART, RR, LifeRing, whatever), just goforit!!!!!


(o:
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Old 09-09-2010, 07:43 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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Awesome and inspiring post Noelle! Thanks!
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Old 09-09-2010, 07:45 PM
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Originally Posted by loveon2legs View Post
Im going on my 8 months of sobriety...and thankfully no relapses!! I'm done with booze..on to a new chapter in my life!!!
8 Months! Good for you. Keep up the good work.
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Old 09-09-2010, 09:17 PM
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I'm 4 1/2 years in. Before that, I quit for nine months, then relapsed for a year. I relapsed because I didn't change anything in my life except for drinking. I still hung around the same guys who still drank themselves silly, and I dated a girl who was a coke-head. Not exactly a recipe for success. I've thought about drinking again. I could probably do okay with it for a month or so. Okay, I'm being liberal with that estimate. Honestly, the main reason I haven't relapsed is that I'm absolutely terrified of what will happen if I take that first drink.

You should read lildawgs thread on mourning the loss of alcohol- specifically, the steps in the grieving process. I think you'll find yourself somewhere in there, which may help make more sense of what you are feeling. Feelings are sooooo much easier to deal with when we know where they are coming from and why.
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Old 09-11-2010, 09:23 PM
  # 48 (permalink)  
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I absolutely love this thread! It is so all about me. I am 24 days sober and 2 weeks into trying AA for the first time. I have "taken a break" from drinking many times over the years and always with the intent of going back to the wine I love so much after my body gets clean of all the alcohol. As many have described, I start back intentionally and I love wine anew - but within a few weeks or a month I am back to wanting more and more until I am drinking every night and looking and feeling like crap.

The past couple of years I have felt that my health is suffering from the years of drinking and I have been very worried about my health. So 3 weeks ago I decided to stop drinking and a deep truth inside told me that I have to give-up the idea of the "moderation test" for good. But I love wine and would love to be a normal drinker and 3 weeks ago I still entertained the idea that maybe moderation could work. Why I thought this is crazy because it has never worked in the past and I hear it hasn't for most others where I am at. But now after 3 weeks sober and 2 weeks of AA I am slowly releasing the thought that in order to be sober I have to hold onto the idea of someday testing myself yet again with moderattion. Totally new to me is the thought that has recently entered my head that maybe - just maybe - I could live without wine and be happy and feel much better in body and spirit.

Plus, if moderation means drinking only 1 - 2 glasses of red once or twice a week at most - then I'd rather not drink at all!!! I don't want just 1 glass of wine, I want 8 or 9 glasses.
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Old 09-11-2010, 09:45 PM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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If you don't believe you can stay sober, you won't. I'm convinced of that. I'm equally convinced that believing you can stay sober is no guarantee that you will. Our minds are tricky, and prone to lying to us at times.

So for me, I will do the work in the quiet and confident belief that I will remain sober. If I start debating it, I am that much closer to another unnecessary (and dangerous, potentially fatal) test run.
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Old 09-11-2010, 11:21 PM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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On Friday I was feeling really good, and started to get excited about doing some serious printing in the darkroom again, something I haven't done for a couple years. As soon as those emotions came to the surface, my limbic system hijacked them and I started thinking about drinking. I had to beat back the drinking thoughts with rational ones; like how bad my life got before I quit.

About an hour later I started to get hungry, but didn't have any food with me. I still had a couple hours to go before I finished work and I could feel myself getting more and more jittery and antsy. As those feelings were building, my limbic system piggy backed a ride and I started thinking about drinking yet again. I had to stop at a gas station and load up on a bag of taco's and an orange juice, which made me feel better in about 20 minutes.

That's where I'm at now. If I get excited, my mind turns to drinking. If I get hungry, my mind turns to drinking. This leaves me two options...go buy some booze and drink, or beat those feelings back.

I saw a documentary recently where recovering addicts were shown photographs for a fraction of a second at a time. When an image about their drug of choice came up, their limbic systems recognized them and initiated a response (an urge) before the rational/thinking portions of their brains had registered any response at all. That means, at this point in my recovery, that my limbic system is always there, waiting to flood my brain with urge chemistry at every opportunity.

Knowing this is a great help...it means it isn't some mysterious force. Whenever cravings or urges to drink surface, it's my limbic system trying to get me to give it the alcohol induced dopamine bath it so desperately wants. So basically there are only two choices; give in and start drinking, or override those thoughts with clear, rational ones.

Apparently, the intensity and frequency of these urges diminish with time.

One path leads to a nasty, disgusting early death, and the other leads who knows where, but it will surely be a better place.

Ramble, ramble, ramble...

Murray
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Old 09-12-2010, 09:32 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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I quit first time in May of 2007. I had to quit. I was on a kidney machine after drinking for over 20 years. It didn't get really bad until 2006 when it was a 750ml bottle a day. I didn't drink wine or beer.

Mid- June, they took the tubes out of my chest, God had given me my kidneys back. I was fine up until this last January. I went to visit family in Arizona. They were having wine with dinner, I thought "it won't hurt to have a glass or two" . Yeah, right. For the next 3 days, I had several glasses of wine at dinner. But only dinner. I had Green Tea or soda during the day.

Waiting for my return flight at the airport, I really had to supress the thought of going to the bar while waiting. Got home and was fine for a while. Then I sad, "maybe just one" It was all downhill from there. Finally came to my senses last week, after a "little" trip to the ER: I passed out at work and fell and hit my head. My BAC was .23. Funny how you don't notice it, jus to feel "normal" you have to increase the volume.

Thursday the 2nd, I poured it all out. A nurse friend came by on Saturday and checked me out and gave me a few Zanax to help with detox, which was the worst thing I have even been thru. I'm not ever going thru that again. Ever. Day 11 and feeling good!
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Old 09-12-2010, 09:37 AM
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Quite the cautionary tale...thanks!

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Old 09-12-2010, 09:53 AM
  # 53 (permalink)  
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Murray.....
Did you get that part about HALT when we shared on
the 2 weeks and under daily support thread?

Glad to know everyone is working towards a healthier
more productive lifestyle. You are joinging millions
of us .....now non drinkers.....

Yes! you too can quit and stay quit....forever.
That's exactly what I expect to do.

21 years of continious AA recovery proves that is
a joy filled ..spirit directed reality for me.
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Old 09-12-2010, 11:19 AM
  # 54 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by fiveyearzen
Honestly, the main reason I haven't relapsed is that I'm absolutely terrified of what will happen if I take that first drink.
Me, too! Once I take that first drink, I know I'm gone. I can't allow the craziness to talk hold in my life again.
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Old 09-12-2010, 04:35 PM
  # 55 (permalink)  
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How many of you decided to stop drinking and so far have not relapsed?
I did all my relapsing before I came to AA, and the choice between it and death was still a toss-up. In the early years of AA, the choice was pretty clear and humility at depth--the certainty of bottom--was very clear. I think that some folks come in for everyone else but themselves, everyday taunting themselves that they'll be able to drink like a normal person one day. "The idea that we could one day drink like normal people has to be smashed."
The "hard core" people in my group say, "If you're not convinced, there's the door." I don't have to convince anyone, because alcohol is the greatest advocate for sobriety.
still can't wrap my head around the notion that I have had my last glass of wine
Call your sponsor, get to a meeting, and tell on yourself. You'll get plenty of perspective. I may have overlooked you in the pages, but you're in the danger zone--rationalizing is NEVER a good idea for an alcoholic, and IF you are one, you're going to think yourself into another drink.
So why do I feel like "testing" myself
Only one reason I can think of: You're alcoholic and suffering is still an option for you? Get to a meeting.
Rigorous Honesty: Powerlessness. #1 is the only step that requires 100%, 100% of the time.
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Old 09-15-2010, 09:06 PM
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rationalizing is NEVER a good idea for an alcoholic, and IF you are one, you're going to think yourself into another drink.
Thank you for this - that's a powerful point.

My February relapse was caused in exactly this way. The rationalisation went as follows:

- my work project is coming to an end soon
- I'll be moving away from friends and family and more likely to drink
- This worries me greatly as a recovering alcoholic
- I'll just try one drink to test that I'll be OK

After just one beer the fear and guilt kicked in immediately. By the weekend I was a drunkard once more and a complete disgrace.

As an aside, after months of not drinking I discovered that beer actually tastes revolting. An 'aquired taste' or just false conditioning? No wonder it stinks.
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