Zero relapses so far?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
Hi Hunt
yeah I spent 20 years 'relapsing'...the truth was I was just living on a perennial drinking- not drinking rota....
It took me a loooooong time to finally be done....but when I finally accepted I was an alcoholic, that alcohol was bad for me - full stop - and that every time I drank I could expect the same negative consequences, I quit.
It's been over 3 and a half years now - no slips, if ands or buts, so it's possible
Life sober really is better and happier hunt.
As long as I'm in my right mind, I'll never swap this life for the one I had.
D
yeah I spent 20 years 'relapsing'...the truth was I was just living on a perennial drinking- not drinking rota....
It took me a loooooong time to finally be done....but when I finally accepted I was an alcoholic, that alcohol was bad for me - full stop - and that every time I drank I could expect the same negative consequences, I quit.
It's been over 3 and a half years now - no slips, if ands or buts, so it's possible
Life sober really is better and happier hunt.
As long as I'm in my right mind, I'll never swap this life for the one I had.
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 160
Huntwc,
Quitting drinking is easy, I've done it about 50 times. Having 1 - 2 drinks and thinking you're in control works......for a couple of times. Then you wake up one morning after a long night of drinking and repeat the famous line, "I'm never drinking again".
It's a vicious cycle - you quit, you start, you quit, you start....
If you honestly want to quit drinking, you take the steps to never drink again.
I don't think it's something that can be done "half-way".
Congrats on 65 days! I'm right behind you!
Quitting drinking is easy, I've done it about 50 times. Having 1 - 2 drinks and thinking you're in control works......for a couple of times. Then you wake up one morning after a long night of drinking and repeat the famous line, "I'm never drinking again".
It's a vicious cycle - you quit, you start, you quit, you start....
If you honestly want to quit drinking, you take the steps to never drink again.
I don't think it's something that can be done "half-way".
Congrats on 65 days! I'm right behind you!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
I was one who tried moderation for many years and it never worked out for me. I decided I was going to quit for good, 72 days ago, and I have not relapsed, and I will not.
I have gotten to the point where I am very happy and at ease with the fact that I no longer want to drink, and I have come to love the feeling of being sober. The depression that I thought I had for the past 5 or 6 years has disappeared entirely, my aches an pains that I thought were natural for a person of my age are gone, and my energy level has increased significantly, and I haven't had to pop a pain reliever or an antacid which I used to pop like tictacs, since day 15. If I would have known I would have felt this good being sober, I might have quit a long time ago, but I was afraid that I would lose the only way I knew how to live, (looking forward to the next drink). Now I am realizing there is so much more to life, and I would never find happiness in a bottle.
It still amazes me that once I decided I was never going to drink again how it lifted this huge weight off my shoulders and really opened my eyes to the possibilities of what type of sober life i can really create for myself.
I never really thought it would make me this happy. I am content, yet motivated to better myself.....a feeling that I can't ever remember feeling.
I have gotten to the point where I am very happy and at ease with the fact that I no longer want to drink, and I have come to love the feeling of being sober. The depression that I thought I had for the past 5 or 6 years has disappeared entirely, my aches an pains that I thought were natural for a person of my age are gone, and my energy level has increased significantly, and I haven't had to pop a pain reliever or an antacid which I used to pop like tictacs, since day 15. If I would have known I would have felt this good being sober, I might have quit a long time ago, but I was afraid that I would lose the only way I knew how to live, (looking forward to the next drink). Now I am realizing there is so much more to life, and I would never find happiness in a bottle.
It still amazes me that once I decided I was never going to drink again how it lifted this huge weight off my shoulders and really opened my eyes to the possibilities of what type of sober life i can really create for myself.
I never really thought it would make me this happy. I am content, yet motivated to better myself.....a feeling that I can't ever remember feeling.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 861
At times I struggle with the 'done forever' part too. Someone suggested that I look at what I liked about drinking and figure out how else to get those things. It might help you too.
I know I can drink one or two drinks and stop. But I am still an alcoholic.
At times, I still wonder if I can drink safely, but more and more the risks of drinking are not worth it. And I do like sobriety. I did not drink for many years but I had one drink in late July. Alcohol just moved back into my life in a major way, and it has been hard to stop again.
Sobriety seems so precious to me right now.
I know I can drink one or two drinks and stop. But I am still an alcoholic.
At times, I still wonder if I can drink safely, but more and more the risks of drinking are not worth it. And I do like sobriety. I did not drink for many years but I had one drink in late July. Alcohol just moved back into my life in a major way, and it has been hard to stop again.
Sobriety seems so precious to me right now.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: far far from home
Posts: 373
The Doctor's Opinion in AA helped to take the "testing" notion completely out of my head.
I accepted the fact that the physical allergy makes me medically incapable of stopping at one or two. Maybe I would not have had that third or fourth right away or even the same day but the chase would be on, "tic toc tic toc" in this head of mine. The next drinks would come and then the progression and then the horrors.
So I know what will happen. No need to test. I am not weak, a moral defect, or anything else but an alcoholic, my body chemically responds to booze unlike other people. Case Closed.
The done forever part for me was a gift, I actually struggle with one day at a time, done is done and it made things clear for me. I know that I can never drink in safety, and never means never.
A year and a half sober I had to fly on an old Soviet airplane to a pretty remote part of the world, man did I want some booze for that flight, soooooo bad, but I knew taking the edge off for that 3 hour flight would set in motion something that I am incapable of stopping once the plane landed. I knew that even filled with anxiety and fear I could not test the physically allergy.
So for the rest of my life I have given up the right to chemical relief or peace of mind.
I accepted the fact that the physical allergy makes me medically incapable of stopping at one or two. Maybe I would not have had that third or fourth right away or even the same day but the chase would be on, "tic toc tic toc" in this head of mine. The next drinks would come and then the progression and then the horrors.
So I know what will happen. No need to test. I am not weak, a moral defect, or anything else but an alcoholic, my body chemically responds to booze unlike other people. Case Closed.
The done forever part for me was a gift, I actually struggle with one day at a time, done is done and it made things clear for me. I know that I can never drink in safety, and never means never.
A year and a half sober I had to fly on an old Soviet airplane to a pretty remote part of the world, man did I want some booze for that flight, soooooo bad, but I knew taking the edge off for that 3 hour flight would set in motion something that I am incapable of stopping once the plane landed. I knew that even filled with anxiety and fear I could not test the physically allergy.
So for the rest of my life I have given up the right to chemical relief or peace of mind.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 638
The forever part is hard for me to grasp sometimes. I'm 27 and going on 10 months of sobriety. I know that I can't take just have one drink to celebrate anything as that will lead me right back to a very dark path that I don't ever want to be on again.
Proud Neonephalist
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Coast BC Canada
Posts: 1,141
Maybe you're reading a sense of pride and accomplishment as "smug", but I didn't.
It's a rare thing to do it on the first try. There are a few here on SR who have done it and have stayed sober for years. I'm going to give it everything I have to be able to stay sober for the rest of my life.
I'm glad I saw into my future when I did, because what I saw put a cold fear into my guts! One equals many for me when it comes to drinking...it could be years before I manage to quit again...that's why I don't intend to relapse.
Murray
It's a rare thing to do it on the first try. There are a few here on SR who have done it and have stayed sober for years. I'm going to give it everything I have to be able to stay sober for the rest of my life.
I'm glad I saw into my future when I did, because what I saw put a cold fear into my guts! One equals many for me when it comes to drinking...it could be years before I manage to quit again...that's why I don't intend to relapse.
Murray
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Between Serenity and Despair
Posts: 522
Originally Posted by DrivingVacation 
So what happens if some of you do relapse?
If I didn't do that, I'd have some sort of dumb philosophical epiphany about life, myself, and the fabric of the world. Then, I'd dust off and quit again.
Easy, right?
I will tell you that I pray every day to my higher power and ask that the desire to drink not exist within me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Regardless of whether we relapse or not...I think everyone's intention should be not to...otherwise you are hiving yourself an "out" and you surely will relapse.
God forbid I relapse, I hope like hell if it happens I could pick myself up and start again but I honestly don't know if I have it in me to come back from a relapsed. That fear is a pretty good motivator.
You might read something as "smug" for which I am sorry. I prefer having a positive attitude because if I don't then for me there is no hope.
God forbid I relapse, I hope like hell if it happens I could pick myself up and start again but I honestly don't know if I have it in me to come back from a relapsed. That fear is a pretty good motivator.
You might read something as "smug" for which I am sorry. I prefer having a positive attitude because if I don't then for me there is no hope.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 68
At the end of this month I'll have one year and so far I've been good.
I've been very tempted though! I just got back from vacation, and my girlfriend offered me several drinks "just for vacation". We were in Colorado and they supposedly have great beer there ... but I'll never know since I didn't drink any of it
I told her that there is no "just this time" for me. One of my few strengths is knowing myself and I know for sure that if I drank "just while on vacation" that would have been a good enough excuse for me to "just drink on the weekends" when I got back... and then "just drink until 7:00pm during the week" and all those other stupid ways I failed at limiting myself back in my drinking days.
I am 99% sure I'll never relapse because I know myself and what I'll do if I take another drink. The 1% chance I will relapse scares me enough that I keep myself in check.
I've been very tempted though! I just got back from vacation, and my girlfriend offered me several drinks "just for vacation". We were in Colorado and they supposedly have great beer there ... but I'll never know since I didn't drink any of it
I told her that there is no "just this time" for me. One of my few strengths is knowing myself and I know for sure that if I drank "just while on vacation" that would have been a good enough excuse for me to "just drink on the weekends" when I got back... and then "just drink until 7:00pm during the week" and all those other stupid ways I failed at limiting myself back in my drinking days.
I am 99% sure I'll never relapse because I know myself and what I'll do if I take another drink. The 1% chance I will relapse scares me enough that I keep myself in check.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
Originally Posted by DrivingVacation
Well the way some people are so smug about it, I really hope for their sake, they don't.
Don't get me wrong, before I honestly made my mind up and knew that I never wanted to drink again, I would have been in the same mindset as many on these boards. I wasn't sure I could do it FOREVER. My whole like was based on drinking, that's how people knew me, and that's all I ever did any free time I had, and that's all I looked forward to. To contemplate life without alcohol FOREVER was something I couldn't grasp. Well it took 27 years of hard drinking for me to mature and see the light that alcohol wasn't my best friend and wasn't what I should be living for. I had to understand what it was doing to me and see that it was really holding me back and killing me at the same time. Once I came to this realization and knew that I could live without drinking the choice has been easy for me, because although I may be a drunk, I am not stupid. I'm finding that the biggest thing that held me back was my lack of maturity, I still thought I was 17 years old. I hate to say it, but I really think I have matured 25 years in the last 60 days.
Is there a possibility that I might relaspe? Anything is possible, but I wouldn't bet on it.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Colusa,California
Posts: 8
Hunt, I used to think like that but I dont anymore. My mind is very rebellous when I say I cant do something. I hate that schizit. BUT...since I started looking at it as I CAN drink if I want to ...because we all can really..we do have the choice. We just better realize the consequences and take responsibility for the reprecutions if we do.....Know what I mean?!
Knowing and telling myself that I can drink takes the whole "CANT" thing away....then I just choose not to. My pea brain can handle that better. It likes to think its in total control and nothing else!!! (But my higher power, thats another thing right there)
Then when I get past that and look at the never ever again I do that the same way.
I can in the future but today I dont want to. I am not going to. If it would come to be that today I would want to ...I have made a deal with myself that I will put it off until tomorrow. If I still waant to drink I will either make myself put it off again or I will decide to drink. I have not had to do that yet so I dont know how I will handle that. Well I have held off till tomorrow but the next day I forgot about wanting a drink the day before so I didnt have to decide on waiting another day or going ahead and drinking.
For me telling myself I can never drink or do speed again is a sure way for me to do it. So I use child psycology on myself I guess ..but hey ..it seems to be working for me and hope this post will help someone else.
Knowing and telling myself that I can drink takes the whole "CANT" thing away....then I just choose not to. My pea brain can handle that better. It likes to think its in total control and nothing else!!! (But my higher power, thats another thing right there)
Then when I get past that and look at the never ever again I do that the same way.
I can in the future but today I dont want to. I am not going to. If it would come to be that today I would want to ...I have made a deal with myself that I will put it off until tomorrow. If I still waant to drink I will either make myself put it off again or I will decide to drink. I have not had to do that yet so I dont know how I will handle that. Well I have held off till tomorrow but the next day I forgot about wanting a drink the day before so I didnt have to decide on waiting another day or going ahead and drinking.
For me telling myself I can never drink or do speed again is a sure way for me to do it. So I use child psycology on myself I guess ..but hey ..it seems to be working for me and hope this post will help someone else.
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