Hip2beSquare

God what a misserable roller coaster ride. Sober then bender, sober then bender. Last one I was sober for almost a month then just said F**k it and spent the last week getting s**t faced.

Did'nt even really want to yesterday but today is my mom's birthday and I wanted my first day of sobriety to be her B-day, how stupid is that? I seem to find myself looking for days of significance thinking it will help. Wow, really been working up till now huh!?

I now realize I can't do this alone, gonna go to an AA meeting tomorrow, I'd go today but I am in no condition to drive or even be around people, typing this out is hard enough.Sitting here sweating and pukeing, been here before so I know it'll get better, I just want the next 3-4 days to be over.

Cathy31

go for it hip! You have a plan and AA is where I found freedom from the madness of binge-madness and pathetic attempts at control. It's not easy for sure in the beginning but it IS SIMPLE. Good luck!!!! You will find so many people willing and able to help and one day you will do the same for others. Good luck and well done!!!
CAthy31
x

yeahgr8

Been where you are...groundhog days over and over and over and over again...set a date, give up, fail repeat...set no date, stop spontaneously, fail, repeat...oh man i could go on forever about this one...and we wonder why we are half (being generous with the half there!)nuts by the time we actually get into recovery?!

AA saved my life and gave me a new one...it took initial work with a sponsor and working the steps which was actually quite good fun...it was nice to be on a road to recovery and actually doing something about the problem rather than just giving up and expecting the fairies to come along and make me feel better...get down to that meeting...

it's been a year and a few months since i got sober but i bet after 20 years i will still get a shudder down my spine when i read posts like yours...good luck:-)

Zebra1275

Been there, done that. I hope you can get through the next few days ok, think about seeking medical help if you need it.

The good news is that you never have to feel this way again.

TheEnd

Been there, done that. Try to see the light at the end of the tunnel and leave the darkness in the past.......

Che

Good luck! I hope you can find a method that works and stick with it. Next time you want to say '**** it,' try delaying yourself, at least a few hours, and see if you're not in a better state of mind. We all have moments of weakness, but I think those moments always pass.

TenNinetySix

God, do I remember what that's like. I am so sorry you have to go through that... AGAIN. Hope it will not last too long & I hope also you can figure out what to do different this time so that it will be the LAST time because NO ONE should have to keep going through the horror of that over & over.

CarolD

Welcome back....

Many of us had to re start our sobriety
before we found solid recovery.

I certainly hope this will be your time for progress.

DayTrader

Well, you can......u just can't do it well on your own. jk

Today and the next couple will come and go.....maybe even more easily than you suspect.

Good luck at your meeting. How cool would it be to never have to go through this crap again?