My Stupid Monkeybrain
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Northern Midwest
Posts: 53
My Stupid Monkeybrain
Well, I had another relaspe - for about a month straight. Ughhh. . . I feel like crap ---- AGAIN. My real brain will tell me that I will not drink, and later on the monkeybrain says, "Come on! No one's around! You deserve it! Quit tomorrow! blah blah blah." I ALWAYS listen to him! I just had my 45th birthday last week and I know this is not the way to spend the rest of my life. And, from Artsoul's post, I have neglected to nurture my relationship with:a043: God. When I am not drinking, He walks by my side - I can feel Him in everything I do. When I am, He seems to disappear and Monkeybrain appears. I really need to start recognizing the Monkeybrain and have some good comebacks for him.
Last edited by fakesmiles; 09-05-2010 at 08:46 AM. Reason: smiles out
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi and welcome back!
God is with you when you are drinking too...you just can't hear him. There is actually a saying somewhere that God watches out for children, the disabled and drunks...which makes a lot of sense because I can guarantee that if it weren't for God watching out for me my drunk "monkey" brain as you call it would have killed me ages ago!
God is with you when you are drinking too...you just can't hear him. There is actually a saying somewhere that God watches out for children, the disabled and drunks...which makes a lot of sense because I can guarantee that if it weren't for God watching out for me my drunk "monkey" brain as you call it would have killed me ages ago!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hi, fakesmiles,
I read some of your old posts. Back several months ago, you said you didn't want to face the thought of going to AA.
What you've been doing doesn't seem to be working, does it? Isn't it maybe time to try something different?
I don't know what your objection to AA may be, given that you don't seem to have a problem with "God" (which is what keeps a lot of people away, at least until they understand that "God" as used in AA is whatever higher power you choose to rely on).
We've had a few members here recently, who were VERY reluctant to try AA and found it to be a welcoming place with a program that is a real solution.
Alcoholic drinking is one of those problems just not amenable to mind-training for many people. Some are able to stop that way, but many, many are not. You've been trying it, and I'm sure you've been trying very hard. Why not at least try something different. All you have to lose is your misery.
I read some of your old posts. Back several months ago, you said you didn't want to face the thought of going to AA.
What you've been doing doesn't seem to be working, does it? Isn't it maybe time to try something different?
I don't know what your objection to AA may be, given that you don't seem to have a problem with "God" (which is what keeps a lot of people away, at least until they understand that "God" as used in AA is whatever higher power you choose to rely on).
We've had a few members here recently, who were VERY reluctant to try AA and found it to be a welcoming place with a program that is a real solution.
Alcoholic drinking is one of those problems just not amenable to mind-training for many people. Some are able to stop that way, but many, many are not. You've been trying it, and I'm sure you've been trying very hard. Why not at least try something different. All you have to lose is your misery.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Take a look at this thread, started by someone every bit as scared as you are: Afraid of AA.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Incidentally, anonymity is taken very seriously in AA. Nobody will talk about your being there.
Besides, as "secret" as you think your drinking is, it won't stay that way for long if you don't get a handle on this. Alcoholism is progressive, and it gets worse, and sooner or later it spills into the rest of your life.
Besides, as "secret" as you think your drinking is, it won't stay that way for long if you don't get a handle on this. Alcoholism is progressive, and it gets worse, and sooner or later it spills into the rest of your life.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
What happens in those meetings?
Hope and healing....
Your First AA Meeting<
Why not ask your best friend to attend with you?
That is how I got to my first meeting...
Hope and healing....
Your First AA Meeting<
Why not ask your best friend to attend with you?
That is how I got to my first meeting...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 123
Fake-
I can sympathize. I'm 3 days off a 2 month bender myself. Towards the end of it I was losing the will to stop and certainly had no care whatsoever for the consequences of my actions (which I'm still living with at the moment) Today is as good a day as any to turn it around and say enough is enough. The little, quiet voice that says "No. That's not a good idea" will only get quieter the longer you go on. I pray you listen before it's too late.
I can sympathize. I'm 3 days off a 2 month bender myself. Towards the end of it I was losing the will to stop and certainly had no care whatsoever for the consequences of my actions (which I'm still living with at the moment) Today is as good a day as any to turn it around and say enough is enough. The little, quiet voice that says "No. That's not a good idea" will only get quieter the longer you go on. I pray you listen before it's too late.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,900
One recovery tool I use is from SMART Recovery. Its The Stop Thought tool. It helps me recognize that I can have some mastery over what my brain is up too. After all having my brain as a ally in my recovery sure makes staying sober far more pleasurable.
lillyknitting
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
Originally Posted by fakesmiles 
Well, I had another relaspe - for about a month straight. Ughhh. . . I feel like crap ---- AGAIN. My real brain will tell me that I will not drink, and later on the monkeybrain says, "Come on! No one's around! You deserve it! Quit tomorrow! blah blah blah." I ALWAYS listen to him! I just had my 45th birthday last week and I know this is not the way to spend the rest of my life. And, from Artsoul's post, I have neglected to nurture my relationship with
God. When I am not drinking, He walks by my side - I can feel Him in everything I do. When I am, He seems to disappear and Monkeybrain appears. I really need to start recognizing the Monkeybrain and have some good comebacks for him.
God. When I am not drinking, He walks by my side - I can feel Him in everything I do. When I am, He seems to disappear and Monkeybrain appears. I really need to start recognizing the Monkeybrain and have some good comebacks for him.Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by fakesmiles
... I really need to start recognizing the Monkeybrain and have some good comebacks for him.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
