Hittman305

So..here i am only about 38 hours sober..and my mother is going out of town, and my son is with his mom for the weekend as well. I dont even have to work tomorrow..so my alcoholic brain..is already feeding me ideas.. " Come on..just have a few..relax..you work hard..you deserve it. No kids..no parents around...whats the worse that can happen?" Then the other side of my brain is saying " You don't NEED to drink..sure..you may WANT to..but you don't need to. Is it that hard? Arent you a man, in control of yourself?" Luckily..( if you want to call it that) i dont drink everyday. But i am definitely a binge drinker. And my true poison, is the hard stuff..there is some beer in the fridge now, only 3, or 4..which is nothing. But thats just it..even if i drink a beer or 2..it wont do anything for me..except maybe get me going.

Problem is..i KNOW how my mind works. I will want to get real drunk..real quick. I used to also be like that with cocaine. I havent touched that in years, and i have no desire for it. But i suppose if i were dumb enough (maybe drunk enough) to do a line, or 2..id be binging on it all night. But for right now..my problem is..wanting a drink. I am thinking..hey..there is only a couple of beers in the fridge..i cant get drunk off of that. And i dont have a car to get more. ( you guessed it, i smashed my car up real good on a drinking binge one day)

I just dont know what to do.i dont get the symptoms some people have ( shakes, trembling, etc) But..i feel..like, i am just thirsty. Like REALLY thirsty..but the only thing that can quench my thirst is some type of alcohol. Beer may have to suffice...but..i know it will make me want the hard stuff even more. I hate feeling weak. And it makes me so mad at myself. so angry..so angry.. i need a drink.

LexieCat

Alcohol dehydrates you--it doesn't really quench thirst. That's beer commercial propaganda.

When you are an alcoholic, ANY alcohol sets off the cravings for more. You already know that.

I would ditch the beer in the fridge if I were you. As long as you keep drinking, you will keep drinking.

Listen, instead of sitting around in your empty house, living in your head, you could call the AA number in the phone book and get a couple of guys to take you to a meeting.

splendra

be gentle with yourself and take it one minute at a time if need be. You can make it.

grateful2b

....get rid of the beer...go for a walk...go to a meeting ...call someone....anything but drink....just for today...you can do this

DrivingVacation

I want to drink too... But I know that one drink tonight will end sometime around Monday morning after many.

Hittman305

Thanksso much for the support guys. If anything..just spending my time here reading about other peoples experiences is helping. But..i also wonder..is there an off topic forum? Maybe to talk about common interests between people..help get my mind off of things..for instance..movies? i love movies. i work in a movie theater for over 10 years i love them so much

24hrsAday

What are some of your favorite movies hittman?

grateful2b

Cafe Central would be that place, Hittman...just scroll down ..second last box from the bottom on the main page...

DrivingVacation

I wish there was an off topic board. Cause I just had the urge to start a thread about how bad Domino's pizza is.

HidLid

step 1: go to pizza hut
step 2: order large stuffed crust pizza with extra cheese
step 3: eat entire pizza (or a lot of it)
step 4: be so damn full that it is physically impossible to ingest anything else (food/liquid)

I've done this before, not with the intention of staving off drinking, but I'll be damned if I was able to drink anything. My friends and I had a sober night that time just because we physically couldn't drink ha.

Antiderivative

I see that little hamster is running around its in wheel in your head.

Having the house to yourself with no responsibilities will certainly be a trigger. It either boils down to you drinking or finding something else to do. This would be a great time to watch a movie, read a book, or even find a new hobby.

Its terrible. Its almost as good as Ellio's, except it cost much more

Peta

Hey

Not wanting to preach because i'm only 16 days sober so what the hell do I know

But all I can say is i've been in your situation countless times - sometimes I abstained - most of the time I gave in

Things only changed for me when I accpeted I was POWERLESS over alcohol and that my life had become unmanigable - I knew I'd reached this point when like you I had thougths RACING through my head and was COMPELLED to do something I had sworn so many times in the past I didnt WANT TO DO ..
This is the mental obsession that is alcoholism

Once I got this (AKA step one) and asked God to remove it - Amazingly the desire has been taken away from me.

The first week it was tough a couple of times - but that full on urge was no longer there. But for me, I had to get step 1 first.

Are you going to AA meetings? Have you got a big book??

Before I did these things I could abstain for a few days or even a week but the compulsion would grip me to drink eventually

TheEnd

I wouldn't do it.......If you can resist this weekend with all this freedom, it only makes you that much stronger, but if you want to drink you will drink I know that.

I remember walking miles just to get to the liqour store at 11:00pm at night when I didn't have a license.

But just try to think about what it is you want to achieve, remember you should be doing this for "yourself" and you will always have you to answer to. I feel worse when I let myself down rather than other people, my opionion of myself matters more than what other people think and think for most people it works that way. That's why you truly won't quit until you are ready to.

MeAndOnlyMe

Think back to what made you stop the coke use and try to figure out how to apply that same sort of thinking to booze.

LovesToTravel

remember that this is your recovery .... Find a good book. Do this for yourself log into chat someone is always there. Odaat

CarolD

Welcome.....

Sorry I did not reply sooner....I was at an AA meeting.
Why not use your free time to check your local ones out?

Yes....you too quit drinking and I sure hope you will.

artsoul

It's no fun sitting through a craving, but it WILL pass. I hung around this forum a lot for the first weeks - it really did help remind me that I wasn't alone and that others had been successful (why not me?). I also went through the reasons I wanted to quit in the first place and what I would feel like the next morning if I gave in.

Try not to let that alcoholic voice romance you. We all know it whispers sweet words to us initially, but ends up hitting us over the head (again) with a two-by-four. Hang in there - you can do it!!!

suki44883

I wish there was an off topic board. Cause I just had the urge to start a thread about how bad Domino's pizza is.

LOL!! And they still suck even after they "improved" their recipe.

Hittman305

HA! ya i always hate dominos. Well i have made it through so far..i have just been watching things on the net/ and tv that make me happy. I skimmed through the news..but i think the news isnt good for me, to be honest. It rarely any good news. But..i am still awake..but gettin sleepy..so, tommorow is another day, to look forward to being sober

artsoul

Yeah, the news is as bad as eating raunchy pizza.