wduhelpme

First off....since I haven't posted 5 times... I can not send out PMs to anyone...especially to apologize. I also cant get in touch with an Administrator to ask for help...even if it was to remove my information from this site.

Second, since I cant send PMs, I feel I need to publicly say I am sorry for offending anyone with my "Thread". It was the foremost situation/experience in my life. I had cried many days... I live hundreds of miles from any family and when I found this site I was so excited to be able to talk to someone... I do experience agoraphobia so this WAS perfect. Anyway, I always understood that if you want to fix something the first thing to do is identify the problem. Which I felt I did....the second thing is to overcome shame. I was simply asking for people to "share"... I never demanded it. I also feel that if you feel uncomfortable reading something...simply dont read it. It really is that simple.

To the person that PM me...thank you for your kindness....and yes, I do understand that some people expect others to dignify their positions....however, I love diversity. If there wasnt opposition in all things..we would never learn anything.

Next, I must say that, this is one of the many reasons I dont get involved with people with the same problem I have.... there seems to be some code or imprint on an alcoholics soul that helps navigate them in a manner that doesnt offend anyone (in recovery)...so, needless to say, I didnt get a copy of it.

Finally, if I could ask an Administrator to contact me to help me...whether to continue this or help me remove my information. I would very much appreciate it.

Thanks to All....and God Bless.

rws177

Are you talking about the "Does anyone care to share their worst blackout? " thread? I thought it was a great topic and don't feel you should have to apologize at all. It made think of why I have been staying sober for so long. Sometimes I forget about how bad things really were when I was black out drunk. So your discussion has helped my sobriety and for that I thank you.

lildawg

wduhelpme -- Your apology is accepted. That thread made me uncomfortable, but, for the life of me, I can't understand why.

I answered because I thought it might help you to see the similarities in your behavior and the behavior of other drunks. I hope that purpose was accomplished.

Best.

Pagekeeper

Don't take it personally. I can't speak for others, but I understand how someone can want to share their shame with others and hear other people's shame because it's the only solution they have at the time.

There are other solutions. I was a very sick person when I got sober. I didn't know right from wrong. My mind was so warped. Everything negative felt normal to me: shame, guilt, paranoia, sadness. If I felt ashamed of something, I wanted to know what you felt ashamed of so I could feel normal in my shame. Like I said, I just didn't know any other way to live.

Have you tried to get to an AA meeting? People there can help you discover a new way to live--free of the guilt and shame.

wduhelpme

Well... thanks for being empathetic towards me. The reason I began the discussion was for several weeks I had been reading the forum threads and found you all to be an inspiration to me. I began to feel like I could open up to someone. I felt if just one of you had a blackout that you could share that would help me not feel like a freak...then there would be hope for me! So, to all of you....yes, it helped....more than you will know.

rws177

One time I started a thread about being hospitalized for drinking, I thought surely I was the only one and it went on for days and days making me feel not so alone as their stories were very similar to mine.

Recently I watched the movie "My Name is Bill W" and that put things in perspective for me. This site is truely great for me as it is a way to share with others who can relate and understand where I was and where I am now.

lildawg

Stevie Ray Vaughn's AA Meeting Speech greatly inspired me.

I was a huge fan before I became an alcoholic and still am a huge fan today. Knowing of his struggle and how he dealt with it give me hope. Now, when I listen to his music, I have a whole new appreciation of it.

Note: I listened to SRV's AA speech on You Tube.

suki44883

Did you know that today is the 20th anniversary of Stevie's death? They've been playing his music and talking a lot about him today on one of our local radio stations.

Dee74

Wd - we close threads all the the time, for a variety of reasons.
I would not take it personally at all.

I've sent you a PM.

D

lildawg

Hate to get off topic, but . . .

Suki, I sure did not realize today is the day. I need to turn off my ipod and turn on the radio more often. Thanks so much for telling me!

Brucel

No apologies needed for this drunk. I was told not to forget my last drunk. My last blackout, or my worst blackout was in the beginning of my drinking. If I was offended, I need not reply to the thread. I hope you were able to relate to some of the stories. Then you wont feel so alone with this disease. Thats the purpose of recovery. To relate to the problem and then find a common solution. Or it is for me. Besides, I dont get to choose what I hear, I get to choose what I listen to. God Bless

wduhelpme

Hey everybody..... I have made it to 5 posts! Do I get a PM Chip or something?

I guess being overly sensitive is part of recovery....huh? I have always been hypersensitive as long as I can remember. When I was 9, I had my first panic attack...I was walking home from school in a bad wind storm....I was terrified. Unfortunately, my mothers solution was to give me some Khalua (sp?).

Dee74

Glad you decided to stay.
I'll activate your PM microchip now

D

SSIL75

I also found the thread helpful. Stick around. We're in this together.

I used to be very hypersensitive btw. I can relate.

CarolD

wduhelpme.....

I too am glad you are sharing part of your story with us
and have decided to continue to use SR.

Yes...I do think the diversity of our members is what makes
SR a strong positive force for recovery.....

Sorry to know of your distress...I'm glad Dee
contacted you in my abscence today.

Forward we go...side by side

LexieCat

Apology accepted. The thread bothered me, as you know (because I said so), mainly because just sharing the gory details of our worst experiences doesn't really promote recovery. We've ALL done things we were ashamed of when we were drinking. Heck, I've done things I was ashamed of when I WASN'T drinking.

But to rid myself of shame and guilt over them, posting them on the internet--even in a recovery forum--isn't necessary. Sponsors or private email or conversation with trusted recovery friends can accomplish the same thing.

There are also privacy issues that people on sites like this tend to forget. This is not a closed forum. Anyone can surf in here and read. So some of the more personal, shameful stuff that people might post here could come back to haunt them. I'm not trying to make everyone paranoid, but I've posted on forums for a long time and it isn't unheard of for an ex-partner or employer to dig stuff up and use it against someone. A bit of discretion in topics and posts just makes good sense.

All this is just by way of long-winded explanation about what troubled me about the thread.

You are certainly welcome here, and with recovery you will find yourself living more and more in the solution rather than dwelling in the past where you once felt shame.

soberbythesea

No apology needed for me. I thought it was a great thread, and am sorry it was closed before I got a chance to post in it or I would have given you some stories of mine (I originally read it on my phone, which is not a great posting device.) It really reminded me of just how bad things had gotten before I quit, which is not a bad thing, personally, for me to be reminded of now and again. It helps me remember why I stay sober.

LaFemme

I liked the thread but was disturbed by it, and I can't say exactly why, except that it was holding up a very scary mirror...I think that can be helpful in recovery...I can also see how it can be dangerous.

Welcome to SR, you aren't alone anymore:-)

Dee74

As I said, threads are closed here everyday for a variety of reasons.

I know Carol Anna and I and all of the mods and admin here work for the best interests of everyone.

Closed threads are closed...end of story.

Lets move on from the topic thanks.

D

Ghostly

Dee...I won't comment on the topic then but there were some other interesting points brought up in this thread though.

Lexie brought up the privacy issue and I think that's a good point. I too realize that we cannot count upon our anonymity on SR or other sites...and I hold back some things I may write.

Still, I feel it is important to open up on here if it helps the person recover. Really, just being on here could be used against us for some things. Certainly any post we make, given the context, may fit some criteria for someone to hold it against us.

Last - it isn't up to me to decide what topics, threads or posts can help others with their recovery. If I write any more I'll be going against what I told Dee when I started this so I'll stop... .

Welcome wduhelpme and I'm glad you stuck around!