Really depressed even in sobriety
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 323
Really depressed even in sobriety
I was going to type a sob story but I think I'll skip to the end. What things do you guys find make life worth getting out of bed in sobriety?
There is some irony because some days I feel like superman hence my quote in my sig
There is some irony because some days I feel like superman hence my quote in my sig
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I think pretty much knowing I get another day helps me spring out of bed each morning. I shouldn't be here by rights with the amount of booze and drugs I did. I'm pretty grateful.
It's unclear to me how long you've been sober - would you consider seeing a doctor or counsellor might be a good idea?
D
It's unclear to me how long you've been sober - would you consider seeing a doctor or counsellor might be a good idea?
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 323
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I think pretty much knowing I get another day helps me spring out of bed each morning. I shouldn't be here by rights with the amount of booze and drugs I did. I'm pretty grateful.
It's unclear to me how long you've been sober - would you consider seeing a doctor or counsellor might be a good idea?
D
It's unclear to me how long you've been sober - would you consider seeing a doctor or counsellor might be a good idea?
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
From experience, I think once we cross that invisible line of alcohol deoendency drinking generally makes you depressed - whether it's constant every day drinking or any kind of controlled drinking.
It can take a while for that depression to lift...and I'm taking more like weeks and maybe even months rather than days.
If you were still depressed after four months, maybe you do need to see someone, but whether you do or you don't ultimately do that, I think you need to think strongly about stopping drinking first.
What did you use to stay sober last time?
D
It can take a while for that depression to lift...and I'm taking more like weeks and maybe even months rather than days.
If you were still depressed after four months, maybe you do need to see someone, but whether you do or you don't ultimately do that, I think you need to think strongly about stopping drinking first.
What did you use to stay sober last time?
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: VA
Posts: 10
I know for me I always wondered Why I drank alcohol when it was a depressant and then hated being depressed. That is the insanity of my disease. I have come to believe that something other than myself could and would restore me to sanity, if only I was willing to ask for help from others like yourselves in meetings. I can't, we can, I think I'll let him do it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
hey unique,
that was me too.unhappy wether i was drinking or not.i was finished.i had had enough.
drinking was my solution to life.it filled the hole in my soul for a while.it helped me fit in.it made me for a while feel how i thought i should feel.
then it took...took everything.happiness,confidence,trust...blah,you get the picture.
for years i tried to re-create that feeling of ease and comfort that so called normal folk get from taking a few drinks.dosnt work like that with me though.
if drinking was my solution and i took that away i needed another solution to life.
i find that in the 12 steps of AA.i dont know if youve ever tried it and its not for everyone.
my life has taken on new meaning.its a pleasure most mornings to get up and see what the day is going to bring (hey im not perfect lol).
i was in a hole and i didnt know how to get out.it was the darkest period of my life just before i got sober.i had resigned myself to an alcoholic death.
today i want to live and see what i can offer to the world.
that was me too.unhappy wether i was drinking or not.i was finished.i had had enough.
drinking was my solution to life.it filled the hole in my soul for a while.it helped me fit in.it made me for a while feel how i thought i should feel.
then it took...took everything.happiness,confidence,trust...blah,you get the picture.
for years i tried to re-create that feeling of ease and comfort that so called normal folk get from taking a few drinks.dosnt work like that with me though.
if drinking was my solution and i took that away i needed another solution to life.
i find that in the 12 steps of AA.i dont know if youve ever tried it and its not for everyone.
my life has taken on new meaning.its a pleasure most mornings to get up and see what the day is going to bring (hey im not perfect lol).
i was in a hole and i didnt know how to get out.it was the darkest period of my life just before i got sober.i had resigned myself to an alcoholic death.
today i want to live and see what i can offer to the world.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 9
I get moments where my get up and go seems to come back but I'm feeling pretty down just now.
Things are pretty bad for me at the moment and the outlook doesn't look good.
I had stuff to do today but am going to go to an AA meeting at lunchtime before I do anything. I find the meetings give me some peace and sanity until I can get to another one.
Things are pretty bad for me at the moment and the outlook doesn't look good.
I had stuff to do today but am going to go to an AA meeting at lunchtime before I do anything. I find the meetings give me some peace and sanity until I can get to another one.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
By the end of my drinking.....I awoke depressed ...often in tears
for no external reason. dreading another day .
It was a horrific feeling...that sense of dark doom.
That's why I made a decision to committ to AA.
My situational depression began lifting rather quikly
by the end of 2 mmonths ..it vanished. Has not returned.
How do I face each day as a non drinking AA alcoholic?
With anticipation and in gratitude ...
It's always a wise idea to check with your doctor
about depression....and be honest about your drinking
patterns. That is how I got diagnosed with my
situational depression...and found recovery.
All my best.....
for no external reason. dreading another day .
It was a horrific feeling...that sense of dark doom.
That's why I made a decision to committ to AA.
My situational depression began lifting rather quikly
by the end of 2 mmonths ..it vanished. Has not returned.
How do I face each day as a non drinking AA alcoholic?
With anticipation and in gratitude ...
It's always a wise idea to check with your doctor
about depression....and be honest about your drinking
patterns. That is how I got diagnosed with my
situational depression...and found recovery.
All my best.....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Cary, NC
Posts: 715
Originally Posted by UniqueNewYork
What things do you guys find make life worth getting out of bed in sobriety?
Whether I'm feeling good or bad, I still have to get out of bed. In the past, my depression made me isolated and lethargic, which in turn made me more depressed, which in turn... If nothing changes, nothing changes. I get about of bed because maybe something good will happen and I'll miss it while asleep.
My last bout of depression though--drinking caused that, no question about it. Three months of sobriety has cleared that up a great deal.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Hi UNY.... I feel ya man, I feel ya.
One thing's for sure about coming out of an alcoholic fog...you start to feel everything. To add to it, we typically exaggerate these feelings and replay them in our head only to re-feel them, exaggerate them still more and replay them again. It's one helluva nasty cycle and, if you're like me, you'll find there's virtually nothing you can do to make it stop for long. For some people, it just goes away (the lucky jerks
). For me, I had to do something about it or I knew I'd either drink again or just end my life.
For the alcoholic, drinking and the problems that come with it make life unbearable. Not drinking, on the other hand, feels almost worse.. and some days it's far worse. Talk about being painted into a corner!!
I sure didn't want to find it there when I started.......but I found a long-term solution in AA. (I figured I could probably go back on antidepressants but the idea of becoming dependent upon a pill to make it through life was too much for my ego to take....AND I didn't like the idea of becoming another slave to the pharmaceutical industry.) In AA, here's a maaaaassive group of ppl, they all felt the same way I felt, they all went through the same depression I was in, they all felt strong yet weak, full of pride yet like a fraud, full of composure yet ready to blow, etc but now they're not affected by this garbage anymore.
I find, for me, that if I stick to the principles in the AA program, I don't get depressed like I used to. Life is at least bearable on the worst days and verrrrry cool most of the time. Problems just don't seem to have the same power over me like they used to.
I'm sure you were looking for some specifics so I'll give you the one that I know works for me and every recovered alkie I know: Change just about every single thing about how you act and think - have a psychic and spiritual revolution - and you'll be all set.
One thing's for sure about coming out of an alcoholic fog...you start to feel everything. To add to it, we typically exaggerate these feelings and replay them in our head only to re-feel them, exaggerate them still more and replay them again. It's one helluva nasty cycle and, if you're like me, you'll find there's virtually nothing you can do to make it stop for long. For some people, it just goes away (the lucky jerks
). For me, I had to do something about it or I knew I'd either drink again or just end my life. For the alcoholic, drinking and the problems that come with it make life unbearable. Not drinking, on the other hand, feels almost worse.. and some days it's far worse. Talk about being painted into a corner!!
I sure didn't want to find it there when I started.......but I found a long-term solution in AA. (I figured I could probably go back on antidepressants but the idea of becoming dependent upon a pill to make it through life was too much for my ego to take....AND I didn't like the idea of becoming another slave to the pharmaceutical industry.) In AA, here's a maaaaassive group of ppl, they all felt the same way I felt, they all went through the same depression I was in, they all felt strong yet weak, full of pride yet like a fraud, full of composure yet ready to blow, etc but now they're not affected by this garbage anymore.
I find, for me, that if I stick to the principles in the AA program, I don't get depressed like I used to. Life is at least bearable on the worst days and verrrrry cool most of the time. Problems just don't seem to have the same power over me like they used to.
I'm sure you were looking for some specifics so I'll give you the one that I know works for me and every recovered alkie I know: Change just about every single thing about how you act and think - have a psychic and spiritual revolution - and you'll be all set.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
It's not at all surprising, is it.... depression after quitting the very thing that allowed us to get up and go at life, a best friend, something to turn to, a security blanket...
What makes life worth getting out of bed in sobriety... everything. But one must recover, finish grieving, accept, get rid of the resentment, humility... it's a lot of work, or at least it was for me...
I took me longer than just a few months.
It's not about the alcohol
What makes life worth getting out of bed in sobriety... everything. But one must recover, finish grieving, accept, get rid of the resentment, humility... it's a lot of work, or at least it was for me...
I took me longer than just a few months.
It's not about the alcohol
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
I would second what Carol said, word for word, minus the bit about AA. Any little bit of alcohol can trigger depression once we cross a certain point.
Do you remember who you were before the alcohol took over? Try and wake up that part of your soul...it might help:-)
Do you remember who you were before the alcohol took over? Try and wake up that part of your soul...it might help:-)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 385
Originally Posted by UniqueNewYork
I was going to type a sob story but I think I'll skip to the end. What things do you guys find make life worth getting out of bed in sobriety?
There is some irony because some days I feel like superman hence my quote in my sig
There is some irony because some days I feel like superman hence my quote in my sig
I still am a grouch when I awaken. I love to sleep. And my dysthymia isn't situational, but clinical, so it continues. Nevertheless...my early morning grouch only lasts until I've done my 'drill" upon awakening. I pray, meditate, read something spiritual/inspirational, and focus on how this day will be an adventure in reaching out to others and sharing the love I discovered in recovery. If I'm feeling partcularly responsible and "sober" I'll take a long walk as well.
My sobriety has never, since the very early daze, been about what I don't do. It is always about what action I take ("faith without works is dead.")
And my constant prayer is for willingness....willingness to see things differently, through the lense of joy and blessings, rather than that of fear and misery. I highly recommend a book written by one of Bill W's contemporaries, Chuck Chamberlain, called "A new pair of glasses." I usually have to put them on again every morning so that I can see the joy that awaits me. I needed to be willing to give up all my old ideas...thus says the Big Book of AA.
"God make me willing."
blessings
zenbear
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 638
Originally Posted by UniqueNewYork
I was going to type a sob story but I think I'll skip to the end. What things do you guys find make life worth getting out of bed in sobriety?
There is some irony because some days I feel like superman hence my quote in my sig
There is some irony because some days I feel like superman hence my quote in my sig
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
I find enough motivation just in waking up with a clear head, not hating myself, and not wishing I was dead... The self hatred and constant 'death wish' was eating me alive, literally, and to be rid of those feelings is wonderful. I also look forward each day to taking excellent care of my dogs, which I didn't always do when drinking.
Now I do a great job caring for them and can see the difference in their behavior and health.
Now I do a great job caring for them and can see the difference in their behavior and health. Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 323
Originally Posted by Dee74
What did you use to stay sober last time?
D
It seemed like an affront against god and my family to keep shirking my responsibilities so I could get drunk. I tried to remember that.
The second major thing was I got into lifting and going to the gym religiously. As I transformed my body I got a lot more respect from people and felt better healthier. As I think about it lately I think I need to throw myself into the gym and likely AA as well.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 32
Right now I am 1/3 of the way through 90 meetings in 90 days. After 12 years of sobriety I found myself slipping away from a completely committed AA program and into the poor me's. I decided to recommit to meetings, daily prayer and meditation, readings, AA contact via phone daily and taking notes at every meeting. It is starting to help me feel better about everything.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
^^^ wb to AA then Dini.
I find it impossible to "be in the moment" when I take notes. I'm always trying to write an idea, not looking the other ppl in the eyes, and not "feeling" their words quite so well. Try a couple meetings without the copious note-taking and compare the results.
I find it impossible to "be in the moment" when I take notes. I'm always trying to write an idea, not looking the other ppl in the eyes, and not "feeling" their words quite so well. Try a couple meetings without the copious note-taking and compare the results.
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