Meerkat1

Alcohol turns me from being the nice quiet guy I am into this idiot that does things he would never do sober. Not always major things but daft things. I get terrible feelings of having nothing to live for and there being nothing to hope for. I had my last drink last night and attended a meeting tonight. Just knowing that at AA there is a place I can find people who understand this terrible substance alcohol helps greatly. I went to AA a couple of times before but never got a sponsor or joined a group. Last night I spoke to someone on the phone who told me about this guy who would help. Tonight he came up to me because he heard I had been struggling. I don't like the term alcoholic as it means I'm under the power of something which I cannot control but I am coming round to the fact more and more that alcohol is a substance which does things to me that it does not seem to do to other people. I have been in terrible situations and shrugged them off because I wanted to keep on drinking.

I have a wife and 2 lovely kids but I have a Father who inflicted terrible phsycological damage on me and a Mother who always backed him up.I don't blame them for me becoming alcoholic but they didn't help. I have given my Father the last 43 years of my life maybe it's time I gave my wife and kids a chance. In fact maybe it's time I gave myself a chance. If I keep on drinking I have no hope, no chance.

Since going back to AA and speaking to this guy tonight I have had the first positive thoughts since getting done for drink driving last Monday, going to AA and then falling off the wagon at the weekend. I think the guy at AA is going to offer to sponsor me. I desperately needed a sponsor before but slipped away from the group. I think I need to give some people my phone number too just in case I falter.

Something makes me think that the people at AA are a very powerful group of individuals. I always wanted to be part of something but always messed it up because of alcohol. Maybe I have found what I'm looking for in AA maybe that's a group where I can become part of something. A group of non drinkers.

I need to be careful though because I am coming round to the fact that alcohol is cunning and baffling. I am also coming round to the idea that alcohol is no friend. A friend will not take your legs from under you and smash your head on the floor. If a friend did that to you, you would never speak to him or go out with him again. Alcohol is not my friend, it has taken me 26 years to realise that this substance I thought was my friend is actually waiting to trick, betray and deceive me.

LexieCat

People in AA aren't powerful in themselves--they get their power elsewhere.

Glad you had a good meeting experience.

You are probably going to have to ASK the guy to sponsor you--most people don't offer to sponsor someone else. It just "isn't done," generally speaking.

If for some reason he can't do it (there can be many reasons why someone can't do it), ask if he can suggest someone else.

The sooner you get into the program, the better. It only gets more "hopeful" from here!

CarolD

I did not always get into weird situations or
risky actions when I drank.
However....
they never happened to me when I was sober.

That's exactly why I decided to quit and joined AA.
It has been an awesome adventure
the wisest move I've ever made....

I'm so pleased you are moving forward.
Blessings to you and your family

wren

Good luck to you.

I have also been wondering about getting a sponsor. And I am scared to ask anyone.

DayTrader

^^^ So was I, so were my aa friends, so was my sponsor and, if you go to enough open talks, you'll find everyone's nervous about asking someone to sponsor them. I guess it's just part of the deal. In a sense, it's an actual physical demonstration of being "willing to go to any lengths" --are you willing to humble yourself enough to ask someone to help you. I wasn't for many months. My false ego wouldn't let me believe I really "needed" a sponsor.

suffice it to say I know a helluva lot more now about how to work the steps, the program, helping others and so forth than I did when I first got to AA. It would seem logical to think I wouldn't "need" a sponsor anymore.....wrong. I need one now almost as much as i did on day 1. (and some days, it's definitely MORE necessary than it was).

I've never heard of anyone working the AA program, getting happy, living a full life, not relapsing, and getting all the promises in that book that DIDN'T have a sponsor. And believe me, we can be an egotistical group. I'm sure if someone did it, they'd be shouting it from the mountain tops.

I used to hear "stick with the winners" a lot. It was the ONE "AA phrase" I didn't hate. Well ask around here & ask the ppl at the meetings you respect.... ask 'em if they have sponsors. I'll betcha they all say "yes, of course I do!" .....then go do what the winners do.

CarolD

Here is the official AA guideline about sponsorship....

Alcoholics Anonymous : Questions & Answers on Sponsorship

It's often found on the free literature rack in meetings.
I recommend everyone interested in finding a sponsor
please read this first.....