sleepie

It's only day two. I wonder when I will begin to feel balanced, or even happy again. Like how long before I am interested in anything again. The last time I got a few sober months it was without meds and I was miserable day in and day out and had depersonalization- I think that's what- when my GP took me off meds. These days I am chemically enhanced. I have no physical withdrawals, I never have. How long did it take you? Did your memory improve? I was depressed before I ever drank so how I'll know is a bit beyond me. Before about 2007 I never tried anything for depression. And then only for a few months. Sorry to ramble, hope you are all well.

LaFemme

Hi Sleepie and congrats on Day dos:-)

I know you are gong through a lot of stuff with your depression..I hope you can find a way to deal with it. I hope the meds help, I suffered a lot with depression when I drank, so I know it's no fun:-(

I felt like crap physically the first 6 days or so. Felt so rotten I didn't pay any attention to whether or not I was depressed!

keithj

I had a handful of those few weeks to few months of not drinking stints before I finally gave up and got sober for good. No joke, Sleepie, I never felt much better or balanced or clear during any of those short-lived times. I mean, maybe some initial elation and positive thinking at first. But after a while, I'd fall right back into that familiar depression and negativity, and then fall right back into a drink.

All of that changed, like night to day, when I took the 12 Steps and had a spiritual awakening. Knowing this experience, it's hard to consider any happiness or comfort from those earlier times as even very real by comparison.

Relief versus freedom maybe.

Dee74

Hey sleepie
I think sometimes it can take a while - certainly weeks not days, if not months.

It took me around 90 days to feel ok...and longer than that to trust the feeling of feeling ok, if you get me.

If you're like me, it's been a long time drinking and stuff...I think it's natural to expect it takes a while to make the journey back from that - but you have a lot of support and help here. You're not alone

Congrats on day 2
D

sleepie

Thanks. I am making an effort to do what I don't want to do- namely get up at a somewhat respectable hour, shower, dress and exercise a bit. Although, I am pretty active anyway regardless of whether or not I drink because I am always on my bike. And I usually eat healthy foods. I have to make myself get out and exert myself or I get bored and sad.

RobbyRobot

Hi sleepie. Good to know your efforts are helping you get into a better place with yourself. Its worthwhile to give up the drinking.

My own efforts took several weeks before I had some daily feel good experiences that lasted one day and into the next, if you know what I mean. I had a horrible detox. I did mine in a res rehab. Lived there for three months then got a little room in a shared apartment. Did AA from day one. It took several months after my last drink before I had real solid trust that something good was finally working out for me. At almost a year without booze I could feel good and think clearly in my day to day life. Life was still challenging and I enjoyed the many differences my sober living was creating for me.

It took alot of effort for me to do a recovery program and to have any lasting fellowship. I pretty well hated all the requirements of doing a proper recovery what with the all the years of being down on myself and whatever. Like you though I made efforts to do what i didn't want to do. Things started to change. Somethings got worse and some things got better. I didn't care too much really one way or the other. I was very much a hopeless drunk and so almost anything I did helped as long as I kept trying to care about myself. And letting others care too took some time. My defenses against being loved by others were like a mile thick and it was not easy to get close to me.

I'm so glad you care about yourself, sleepie. Know that your efforts are not in vain. It does work when we start to care again. Even the very smallest things we do to help ourselves makes a difference as the hours and days go by. It all adds up quicker than it may seem right now. Be strong. Be gentle with yourself. Be your own best friend. Have a great safe day, sleepie.

Robby

BullDog777

As you know, there is a big difference between physical withdrawal and the psycological withdrawal you get from getting sober.
for me, everyone here knows the extent of my physical symptoms. it was pretty horrific. For a good month i was completely screwed.

however, the psycological withdrawal took me months. You know how AA's always say, "90 meetings in 90 days"? Well, the ideology behind that is the first 3 months, your desire to stay sober for the most part will be a constant struggle as your brain is adjusting to living without the instant gratification that alcohol gives.

Most people can't overcome that profound "loss" of comfort which, by and large, is why you see so much relapse in early recovery. This is why you NEED a new hobby. it will take alot of the focus your brain uses to "crave" booze to something new. Video games really helped me.

you're gonna feel like s#it for awhile Sleepie. Emotionally, it's pretty difficult.
However, if you can weather the first 3-6 months, you WILL start to improve.
If it was one quality i could give the newly sober, it would be perserverance.

in alot of ways we live like infants when we're still drinking....fussy? get a bottle. Tired...bottle. Angry? bottle. Frustrated? bottle.

It's a vicious cycle that DOES have an end, but you have to wait it out. It's gonna be boring and depressing, confusing and messy, frustrating and exhausting at times.

The good news is, if you do perservere, your mind and body will start to heal and you will turn your life around. As I wrote the other day quoting Mr. Rockefeller.

"i dont think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. it overcomes almost everything, even nature.
-John D. Rockefeller

be good,
BD

sleepie

Cool, today is day three. Now this is a challenge because I am house sitting for some people who are drinkers and not only do I have the whole place to myself for the rest of the week, but they encourage me to drink and eat everything, and it would be very easy for me to drink while I am there because I have to answer to nobody. So this is going to be a tough one, I have to say it has been on my mind all day as to whether or not I will cave. I'm thinking movies, crosswords.... my attention is awful right now so reading isn't really working for me despite the fact that I really enjoy it. A long walk for sure. I just know I'm going to be thinking about it all day and evening. I'm off to therapy soon so maybe the shrink can help.