foghead

today is day 35 and yesterday and today i feel like im going to crack. Feel so bored and restless my skin feels like its crawling of my bones. Im keeping fit most days a week, stopped smoking two weeks ago , only drink 1 cup of coffee and tea per day, do alot of cycling most days and have started a martial arts class for two days a week. Im living like a healthy man so why do i still feel so bored and pissed off. The first two weeks i felt great, felt like i was moving forward and was very optimistic about my future and now i just feel bored and annoyed that everyone is out at the weekend having a great time while im stuck in the house. I cant find anything that really excites me on a saturday night now. I hear people say go to the cinema, go for a walk, phone a friend( any friend i phone usually ends the coversation with...so are ya coming out for a drink or what? } but i do these things all the time and they dont satisfy me anymore. My friends are out every sat night and im stuck in the house because im not strong enough to go out and not drink. I just want to know is this a stage of being sober that i will have to go through before i can happily relax in my own skin...im also constantly thinking and worrying more than usual. Im sorry if this sounds like a selfish post but i needed to get it all out of my head before i run down to the local off license.

tormentedmirror

Do you have a camera? I'd love to see some pics of Ireland.

CarolD

Hmm....
I've never found AA boring....

It's a good place to meet new friends who
share your goal of lasting sobriety.
We do all sorts of things outside of meetings.

Here is an interesting link....you may not
be aware of PAWS

http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm

Look at how far you have come...read your
earlier posts......and know you don't have to
go thru those distressful days again.

Well done on your progress....

zbear23

Hi Foghead.

Addictions are a brain disease. By artificially stimulating our brains...we end up with way more neurotransmitters/endorphins/dopamine, etc. than our receptor sites can manage. So, the brain being plastic and adaptable, creates additional sites. When we then stop the artificial stimulation, there are all these now empty receptor sites craving to be filled. It takes time for our brain chemistry rebalance itself, and Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) can last off and on for six months to two years. You might want to google PAWS to read the list of signs and symptoms....it's a pretty good bet that you are experiencing a pretty common stage of recovery, often characterized by feeling bored, restless, irritable, discontent and depressed.

This, too, shall pass. (but if you go back to drinking, you'll re-experience this discomfort all over again if you are able to once again become abstinent).

blessings
zenbear

DayTrader

Nope, it's not a phase if you're the type of alcoholic I am. That's what being sober and still under the control of untreated alcoholism feels like. The physical removal of alcohol is tough but, pretty quickly, your body totally rejoices. You feel like a million bucks.

In a short time though, the -ism part of alcoholism repairs itself, reassesses, and attacks you from different angles. In the AA book there's a line about feeling "irritable, restless and discontent." They're referring to "not drinking" feels. If you're an alcoholic, "not drinking" will feel as bad as or sometimes worse than drinking did.

My experience....that stuff doesn't just "go away." It gets worse and more frequent until you treat it or get drunk again.

trust me, the "treatment" is the better option

loveon2legs

35 days is great!! but still early in recovery..give yourself some time foghead...rome wasn't built in a day!! In my early days I had to reprogram myself with even the simplest things..like sitting at the computer without drinking..that felt so weird for me..or sitting in the yard without a drink..given enough time, and working on yourself and your recovery....being sober is anything BUT boring!! I'm busier enjoying life now than I ever have in my 20 years of drinking!!! Patience foghead!!! xo

JosetteCollins

foghead, I'm going to go against the tide of popular opinion here. I don't agree with the notion of jumping to the conclusion that because a person is bored and restless early in their abstinence that they're having PAWS, a condition that lasts from 6 months to 2 years. How depressing and discouraging a thing is that for someone new in their sobriety to hear? Yikes. If you were saying these things a year from now, then I think it might be appropriate to consider PAWS (or see a doctor to see if you have depression), but this early on I think it's normal to be restless and bored. It takes time to re-format our thinking, learn new behavioral patterns (it takes about 3 months for a new habit to form), and to find new friends and activities to fill the time we used to use for drinking. Just hang in there, chances are that in another few months you'll have adjusted to the changes in your life.

foghead

thanks for all your comments...just felt like id hit a brick wall the past few days

LaFemme

Its okay to hit a brick wall...just don't let it hit you back:-)

recycle

foghead, I am about 35 days too. The first few weeks were easy, and most of the time now is pretty easy. I don't really think about it much, but I seem to flip flop from being a flower marveling at the splendor of the universe, and being a cynical ******* that wants to break something. I feel strong, but would be pretty easy for me to find myself in a bar and 10 drinks gone without really making a decision. I don't have a solution, I feel it too. This was easier when there was a dragon to slay.

Thanks for the post, hang in there.

Live

oh, gawd.....that is hilariously funny LaFemme...can I borrow that?

foghead

yea recycle thats it spot on. one minute im feeling all enlightened and like im living in the present then the next minute im closing doors with my fists because their creeking sounds are going through my head like a gunshot. sometimes i want to be alone then the next minute im craving attention like a spoilt child.....what the hell is going on with my brain....arrrggghhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha

LaFemme

Please do...I was rather proud of it;-)

recycle

I'm glad I posted. I almost didn't, because I really don't have anything to offer. I think you have it right - it is something going on in our brains. Some organ or gland squirts something out and viola, I'm in a totally different place. That is probably a big value to having a sponsor. If I was in AA, the poor sod would be getting an earful this afternoon.

huntwc

Me too foghead!!!!!!! I will be 7 weeks sober tomorrow and feel like you do today. Weekends are hard aren't they? I know several people who have a drinking problem like I do who all drank this weekend. Instead of feeling proud that I did not I am jealous that they are still drinking while I am not!!! I get tired of being "good" while it seems like no one else is or has to be!! Just want you to know you aren't alone in feeling this way. PAWS or not I have to believe it is ok to feel this way. Afterall, it took time to get to the point where we feel we need to abstain so it make sense that we will struggle for awhile....

Dee74

I'd hate for people to get the idea that PAWs is a some kind of sentence hanging over people heads for 18months.

That's not correct.

I believe I've had a couple of PAWs episodes - none of them lasted more than a few days, and they haven't re-occured now for nearly 3 years.

If this is PAWs foghead (and I'm not a doctor) there are things you can do...this link is worth a read anyway

Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) — Why we don’t get better immediately) Digital Dharma

D

DayTrader

agreed!!

I read a lot of posts with ppl "looking" for it in their recovery. Some of the stuff I see here is, to me, borderline medical advice but that's another subject...lol. My experience is that I can think myself into something like PAWS if I concentrate on looking for it hard enough. I'm a big believer in the influence the brain has over our physical well-being. I believe we can think ourselves into getting colds and fevers and I think we can think ourselves into withdrawal symptoms.

Dee74

I encourage everyone interested in PAWs to read the links Carol and I posted cos I'm not sure everyones talking about the same thing.

D

Ainslie

Foghead, I may get my ass kicked for saying this, but after the first month I told myself 'I AM strong enough to go out and not drink' - in those days, id only hang around for maybe 30 minutes - long enough to say hi to everybody and play a game of pool or have a quick gossip. I could sit in a bar all night now, but after about an hour I usually think of other things id rather be doing.

For me, affirmations really boosted my self confidence and helped me see alcohol for what it really was. Saying to yourself "im a strong, interesting person that doesnt need drugs or alcohol to improve my life" may seem crazy and it feels weird at first. But I think you get a lot more from hearing something like that from yourself in the long run, than one liners uttered from people that dont even know you or your situation or want to explore options.

I hope this post isnt unhelpful. I think the concessions youve made in 2 weeks are incredible and evident of how strong you are and youre probably pretty hard on yourself too. Keep at it man, I think you have what it takes.

Ainslie

PS....some of my friends STILL try to get me to have a drink - I just get short with them now..especially if theyre trying to give me **** for not drinking. I remind them sarcastically of how much I enjoyed waking up not knowing where I was or where id been.......shuts them up pretty quickly