My wife was lurking on here earlier...(she's not an alcoholic)
 

She said she cried reading stories. And found an whole new understanding of my disease.. She actually apologized to me for not knowing how many people have false starts and relapses when she yelled at me everytime I slipped up.....ect.. I said no need to apologize, but I'm happy you're arming yourself with information...

I hope her new understanding and support helps you.

It is very unmanageable disease. Hope your recovery goes well! We are staying here with you!

She's always supported me, but its like everytime I fall off, she gets more and more dissapointed, on the "here we go again" routine.. And the "you've said that 100 times"...

Granted, everytime I've said it I meant it..

I never lie to her about drinking or hide it if I happen to slip up.. That was the rules we set up when I first started trying to quit after I lied on my first relapse.... But still I get those looks.. She's just know understanding how many people have the same issues, so this site has helped me more than I can say.

No need for her to feel guilty or stop holding your feet to the fire.
Any alcoholic worth his salt would use her empathy and understanding as a good enough excuse to keep drinking.
We're a manipulative bunch to say the least.

Ready....hope this new understanding works out to her benefit.
Al anon is a free 12 Step program for those who love drinkers.
:)
Sooo...what else is going on with you?
My alcoholism required action before I quit

We both went to an open meeting tonight, I went to one last night, the night before, the night before that. and the night before..

No drinking... Praying a lot. Feeling great..

I went to a lot of open meetings here and there with my ex-husband. It was really helpful to me to listen to people share about what they were doing to stay sober. I learned a little about when to be encouraging and when to just back off. LOL, I will confess I yelled at him a couple of times in the midst of certain arguments that he needed to call his SPONSOR. Then I'd leave so he could, if he wanted to, and so I wouldn't know whether he did or not (nothing worse than micromanaging someone else's recovery). :)

wow...deja vu. my wife and i used to have alot of arguments over her "not understanding" and not "getting" where i was coming from, so she educated herself towards the end of my drinking.

She started going to alanon and joined a similiar forum for families of alcoholics. She got educated about my obsession and then my drinking career was ultimately doomed. I let her read this thread and it moved her to tears as well.

She wrote a very long response but i wouldn't let her post it. with your permission though, i'd like to. I think maybe it would give you another perspective, so i saved it.

let me know... btw, i'm very proud of you IRTQ :scoregood
-BD

I am also a wife of an A and I had a D who was one too, but I must say, I also lurked on here and was actually shocked by what I read to, I just didnt realize the depth of this disease and how it so differently affects people, I am so glad I found SR and have grown so much, especially learning of Co dependency, my husband is now a RAH this is his day 26 and I am happy that I was able to try to learn to accept him with this disease. Thank you for posting this ImReadyToQuit and I wish you loads of success and a happy marriage.

:ring

Please, I'd love to read it!

Please introduce her to the family and friend section!
We, on the other side, have our own work to do in recovery....
understanding your side is not enough!

I didn't even introduce her to the site, she knew I was on it, she came on her own, the stories she was crying about the most were in the family in friends section. ;)

I hope she has registered and introduced herself.

There are tearful stories in every forum.
There are also TRUMPHANT stories.

We all do this together.

.....now....I'll go back to where I belong....;)

Honestly I just felt a bit wary about her going to your meeting and trying to figure out all about your struggles and sobriety
BECAUSE that is what we do...we get lost in alcoholism also and we need our own program

best wishes to both of you