back to day one
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 139
Dee and Lafemme, thanks. I have had some counseling in regards to my marriage but I no longer have insurance and can't afford it anymore. The Post traumatic stress has gotten quite a bit better. I have progressed quite a bit since my divorce. For the first 2 years, I'd tremble when I was around people. Not from drinking, didn't drink much at all back then. I'd just tremble. I didn't realize how much til a friend pointed out a couple years later that I had finally stopped shaking,
I think a big part of my problem last week was that I slept maybe one day of five, that always makes me whacky. Even the alcohol gave me less than 3 hours of sleep. When I finally fell asleep Saturday night ( on no alcohol), I slept for 16 hours straight. My period causes a problem with me not sleeping, so I will be getting some medication to deal with it.
Also, I take Ativan occasionally when my anxiety gets really, really bad. I know its a benzo. I only take it when I REALLLY need it. For example, a bottle of 30 0.5 mg pills lasts six months. I let myself run out. I was trying to go without it and had done well for several weeks so declined the refill from the doctor. Then all hell broke loose last week, and with the overdrafts, did not have the $100 for the office visit to the dr not to mention what it would have cost to fill the prescirption. A friend gave me a bottle of wine (which I knew better than to drink even when I was still drinking but I did anyway) and then I wound up walking to the store for a 12 pack of cheap beer which I could afford sadly.
I am sure I will be fine. I quit eating meat 15 years ago and never went back, which while not an "addiction" is still a difficult thing to do in today's society. Also quit smoking 4 years ago, with day long slips a grand total of 5 times in those 4 years, including the other night. Other than that, I don't smoke. I have never been physically addicted to alcohol the way I was to nicotine. If I can quit eat meating, quit smoking for the most part, I can quit drinking too. I am sure as long as I persist in not drinking, I will succeed. Especially considering that was my first attempt to quit drinking.
I am now on day 3 again.
I think a big part of my problem last week was that I slept maybe one day of five, that always makes me whacky. Even the alcohol gave me less than 3 hours of sleep. When I finally fell asleep Saturday night ( on no alcohol), I slept for 16 hours straight. My period causes a problem with me not sleeping, so I will be getting some medication to deal with it.
Also, I take Ativan occasionally when my anxiety gets really, really bad. I know its a benzo. I only take it when I REALLLY need it. For example, a bottle of 30 0.5 mg pills lasts six months. I let myself run out. I was trying to go without it and had done well for several weeks so declined the refill from the doctor. Then all hell broke loose last week, and with the overdrafts, did not have the $100 for the office visit to the dr not to mention what it would have cost to fill the prescirption. A friend gave me a bottle of wine (which I knew better than to drink even when I was still drinking but I did anyway) and then I wound up walking to the store for a 12 pack of cheap beer which I could afford sadly.
I am sure I will be fine. I quit eating meat 15 years ago and never went back, which while not an "addiction" is still a difficult thing to do in today's society. Also quit smoking 4 years ago, with day long slips a grand total of 5 times in those 4 years, including the other night. Other than that, I don't smoke. I have never been physically addicted to alcohol the way I was to nicotine. If I can quit eat meating, quit smoking for the most part, I can quit drinking too. I am sure as long as I persist in not drinking, I will succeed. Especially considering that was my first attempt to quit drinking.
I am now on day 3 again.
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