artsoul

So I'm just wondering what people mean when they talk about a spiritual experience or awakening in AA....... I hear it a lot here, but no real descriptions of what it is.

DayWalker

I can't speak for anyone else, but for me it was just a realization that being sober meant more than just not drinking. It was trying to live my life in a better way, being a better person, being more patient and understanding with my family, keeping my word when I said I would do something. Mainly just making sure that I lived life the way that god intended for me to live my life.

Steve

LaFemme

I don't know anything about AA, but for me a spiritual relationship means having a relationship with God, however you define him.

Toronto68

There are people that might question my thoughts on this, but I think I have had something like that. When I hear that phrase, I think of the spiritual awakeneing that comes out of completing the AA steps, and it's AA people I have seen describe it. I haven't followed the steps through AA and a sponsor though. (Which doesn't mean I am a naysayer on AA, by the way.)

I was just telling someone my story about how it's like my brain, beneath my conscience, was plotting my quitting as a means of survival, and how I just quit. And how I never would have thought I would say I was no longer atheist and believe in some kind of God. I'm different somehow for the better, pay attention to the way I think, and follow up on things I intended to do (similar to what DayWalker said, but I am probably not as family-oriented or as nice as he is - ha ha); and it's only natural for me to see that as tied to this spiritual thing and not drinking. There's a happiness even inside a concurrent battle against the blues every once in a while. That's about all I know.

If that's not really a spiritual awakening per somebody else, too bad, I'm sticking with what I've got, and am further ahead than I have been in I don't know how long.

BP44

From my experience I believe that a spiritual awakening is any time anywhere that any alcoholic understands a part of the truth. I needed the steps to bring me to that and quite frankly there have been countless spiritual awakenings along the way. Within that I have had spiritual experiences in which my old mind is cast to the side and a new mind with new ideas and conceptions comes into play. My first reaction when this happens is " I feel like I'm losing my mind " and so I am.

Boleo

For me it was:

"We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it.
We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation.
We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected.
We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed.
It does not exist for us.
We are neither cocky nor are we afraid.
That is our experience.
That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition."

DayTrader

Great question Art.... I don't think I have the words yet though. It's a bit like trying to describe a taste or a color. I'm sure someone here will do a better job than I could. I think I can tell you what it feels like though...


As far as the feeling goes, I guess it's similar to the feeling of freedom you used to get when you'd leave work frustrated, get in an argument with another driver while fighting traffic, darn near hit someone as you try to fine ONE decent radio station so now you're mad at yourself and a little freaked out, you have to juggle cell phone calls from co-workers trying to get more "work" out of you when you're off the clock, hang up on them, pull into the parking lot and can't find ONE decent spot so you park way out there, get out of the car, sweat in the sun as you walk to that front door of the bar then.... (ready?) you open the door and feel that cool AC air hit your face, the girl at the front desk smiles and say "hi...glad you're back," the bartender saw you coming so he/she waves and say "HEY!.....what's UP? ... your regular?" Then you sit on that stool....it feels so comfortable this time... grab that drink...feel the cool wet glass on your hand....bring it to your lips....... AND ALL YOUR TROUBLES MELT AWAY.

Spiritual awakenings kinda feel like that.....only no booze is involved.
Certainly, a lot of them are much "smaller" deals but it's that feeling that you fiiiiiiiiiinally tapped into some source of power and, no matter what, evvvvvvvvverything's going to be okay.

BullDog777

for me, it was what i believe was a case of divine intervention.

i was detoxing from prescription medication and booze at the same time. So when you abuse prescription drugs, the nasty part of them is the withdrawal. what alot of doctors don't tell you about is the withdrawal from these meds can last for months....it's called protracted withdrawal syndrome and it can be equally as dangerous as alcohol withdrawal.


So, i had been detoxing for 30 days and my body was giving out.

i had just had a day of multiple alcoholic seizures with stroke level blood pressure, and a dangerous pulse when i woke up in the morning for another day of pure hell.

When i woke up, i had a bible verse stuck in my head. i figured it was my mind coming to grips with what my body was doing.......dying.

this verse kept running and running through my head through seizure after seizure that day.

it was Psalm 23 ....

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want;
he makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters;
he restores my soul.
He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil.
for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff,
they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
thou anointest my head with oil,
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life;
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

i was shaking violently as i pulled into my local grocery store to get some booze. i had enough of this. i was pounding on my dashboard with my fists begging for mercy when i asked for any sign at all that i should keep going on with this.

In that moment an old beat up car pulled directly in front of me.

the license plate read...Psalm 23


in that moment, a warm sense of calm overtook my body and i pulled my car into a parking spot and cried like i had never cried before. God had heard me-

that day was Decemder 23, 2009. that day for me is more special to me than my sobriety date. i slept that night for the first time in a month. my body stopped shaking my heart stopped pounding, my blood pressure was under control.

i was lucky enough to be given this gift at the lowest point in my life. it was a miracle to me and now i try to live gratitude in every aspect of my life.

that story in short has been my signature since the day i joined these boards.

pongo

I didn't have a spiritual awakening through AA, since I did not use AA's 12 steps to achieve sobriety. I was sober for about seven years when I finally experienced the freeing, mind altering renewal of God's grace. For me it was experiencing God as an active, vital and present force in my life.

Since that moment I have been so incredibly blessed by my decision to follow God that I simply can't imagine life without God's love and leading. I don't like to use the word "miracle" because I think it is too frequently applied. Instead I like to think that I have not required a "miracle" of God in my life, but have enjoyed God's favor, God's dynamic, challenging message, God's overwhelming and awesome truth and healing.

It's so good, you know, it's almost like a drug itself. It's an addiction. I know I can't live without it. I keep wanting more of it. I'm just a beginner at living immersed in God's love and I can't wait to see what comes next. I wish I could pack up a spiritual awakening and mail it to you so you can see for yourself.

HIgby442

For me, my spiritual awakening was not exactly one of those "ah-ha" moments where suddenly everything was alright. For me it was early in my recovery, about 3-4 weeks in as I recall. Until that point, I was constantly worrying about cravings, I was dwelling on all the bad that I had done with my life and upset about what I had done to my health. I was also upset that I still wanted to drink after all that had/was happening to me at that time. I was heavy into AA and the 12 steps. I had things posted on my fridge, and around the house. One night I was going crazy-cravings like crazy. I tried going for a walk-2 hours and came home still craving. I remember thinking to myself-"well, this is just the way it is-if its not better tomorrow-I'm going to drink. I just cant do it on my own, I really am powerless over this". Those were the thoughs in my mind. Over the next couple of days, a new mindset started coming into mind. I felt like things were ok, and my life was headed in a new direction. My cravings were drastically reduced. Overall I starting looking at the positives in life.

So, not much of an "ah-ha" moment, but it certainly was a moment of clarity, happiness and a feeling that everything was ok and was going to be okay.

Womble

Sounds just like Norm the postman in CHEERS...if any of you remember the sitcom set in Boston.

he always used t enter the ar moaning about his day, then a couple of drinks and he's forgotten all about it.

It rarther glamourised drinking for me...not a good thing really

MyPaperAnchor

A spiritual awakening in the context of the 12 steps, to me, means living a life based on the virtues learned through doing all the steps thoroughly.

It's living life by a new set of morals and ideas; living life after that psychic change talked about in the Big Book. In my opinion.

ninja7

As stated by HIgby442, spiritual awakening may not be exactly one of those "ah-ha" moments. It is discribed in Wikipedia as shown below.
My spiritual awakening is also very slow effects. I feel very fine every morning. I am no longer boring even alone in my spare time. I try to connect to Buddha inside myself.

Womble

The Big Book tells us we have a "Spititual experience" ...."as a result of taking these steps".....I have been rushing around looking for one these last 15 months, but I am still on step 1.....I only realise now that I am gonna have to wait a while.

LexieCat

Well, Bill had his "spiritual experience" while in the hospital, where about all he had accomplished was Step One.

OTOH, the "spiritual awakening" mentioned in Step Twelve is the one that we get "as a result of these steps," and is usually something more gradual, which may come in stages. There is a discussion of the terms "spiritual awakening" and "spiritual experience" in Appendix II of the Big Book, which describes both as "a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism." So even though some people might have a dramatic "white light" experience like Bill's, for most of us it's more likely to be a gradual change within ourselves over time. What AA teaches is that if we achieve that, and work to maintain it within ourselves, we won't drink again.

Mark75

My spiritual awakening happened when I went from merely believing in Him to trusting... Him.

Ashleighk0120

Well it is an action program ;-)

RobertHugh

The term "spiritual awakening" had a lot of baggage for me. It conjured memories of my mom and her prayer group claiming to speak in tongues while they read the Bible in my living room during the mid 1970s.

It also made me think of evangelical healers. Ugh.

So how bout this: An awakening. I was asleep-- as to the real nature of my disease and just how powerless I was.

Out of that sheer hopelessness, I did the steps. Not read them and considered them, but did them-- writing, taking direction, writing more, taking more direction...praying where I was told to (even if I didn't believe anyone was listening) and simply be willing to go through the process.

I've woken up. And I see that awakening manifested in 3 ways:
- I no longer want to drink.
- I've been restored to sanity about alcohol-- I am clear about my truth.
- I feel a tremendous urge to share what I've experienced with others.

No booming voices, no bright lights. Just those three things. If that's all I get out of this, I'm blessed beyond words.

Draciack

Tough to define...really tough.

To have a spiritual awakening, I had to be morally and emotionally bankrupt. I had to realize I was powerless to manage my own life through my own will. I had no higher power.

To "get right," I turned my will over to a higher power and lived life through the higher power.

Soon, I felt at peace and accepted my place in the world, including my flaws and marred past. I felt more connected with others, regardless of religion, social class, or political affiliation. I suppose I saw myself as just another part of a whole, instead of an autonomous cog operating independently.

It was a very powerful experience that seems to defy expression, but I've been grateful every day since

LaFemme

I am curious how many of you had a relationship with your HP prior to sobriety. Thanks:-)