artsoul

Thanks so much for everyone's responses! I love that we have such an intelligent and thoughtful groups of drunks, haha! ahem.... X-drunks.

I've had spiritual experiences before but not necessarily in relation to sobriety, so I always wondered about what it meant to those whose experiences or awakening came when they got sober (through the steps, or whatever).

From what I've read here, it doesn't matter if the experience is slow or fast, dramatic or a calm reassurance...... just that we come to a place of connectedness with ourselves/life/love and a new trust or faith in the goodness of things (I usually call that force God for the sake of communication).

One thing I'm sure about, and that is that there is no connection to any higher purpose/love when we're drinking. That much I know, although I knew it was always there in the background......

Oh, and BullDog, your story is SO wonderfully cool. Thanks!

Mark75

Yes artsoul... I had several profound spiritual
experiences before recovery... And they were intensely meaningful and I will always remember them. My experience with this "spiritual awakening" as part of AA recovery involved reconciling those with what is expected as a result of the steps. Namely, were those experiences valid? Well of course they were. And frankly, they were much more of a bright light experience. But my present spirituality has now become a journey, searching... Sometimes it's a lot of work.

Seek and you will find.

CarolD

I was raised in a religious...non drinking...praying home.
I stepped away from those core values when I drank.

I was astounded when I began working the AA Steps.
By doing that...my faith in God returned and deepened.

In our BB.......a psychic change as described in the Doctors Opinion
is not exactly what happened to me.

For me...it's a sure absolute knowing that by continueing
to live as God directs me...by living the 12 steps....
I will never drink again.

Thanks for letting me share my recovery miracle....

zbear23

A little AA history may help: AA #3 had been under the care of noted psychologist Carl Jung. Having relapsed, he returned to Jung moaning about his failure, wanting some reassurances. Jung replied that, in his experience, for a hopeless alcoholic, the only solution was a "psychic shift brought on by a spiritual awakening."

In essence, a paradigm shift or, in AA parlance, a new "design for living."

As a result of doing the steps and experiencing a "spiritual awakening" (moving from fear to love), I see everthing differently. The world hasn't changed, but I have.

John Lennon was right: all we need is love.

blessings
zenbear

HIgby442

The funny thing is-I considered myself a very religious person when I was drinking. Turns out I couldnt have been further from the truth. Once I got sober and started going through the steps I think I actually got to know my HP for the first time. And, it was a much simpler, clearer, overall better relationship with my HP-one that I never new before.

DayTrader

heh, I was raised Catholic and liked it. It was a very good experience for me. I went to private Catholic schools from 1st grade --> my senior year in High School. I'm sure I did.....but I don't remember EVER missing Sunday church ONCE in my first 18yrs on this planet. I truthfully liked going to Church....not EVERY Sunday....but I just about always felt better after I got out.

All through my "drinking years" I continued to go to church... on my own now because I wasn't living with my folks anymore. I felt like I was doing a really good job.....I mean.......MOOOOOST ppl don't even GO to church unless it's Christmas, Easter, or some other holiday (lol... spiritual pride in action....)

Like Higby said though... I didn't even scratch the surface of having a real RELATIONSHIP with the God of my understanding until I got jammed into AA and was forced, out of fear of what I had been doing to myself, to get to know God. For me, the BEST way I know of to get to know God is by doing the stuff here on earth that I think He wants me to do. Learning and reading about Him helps a lot too......but it's that darn ACTION that works the best and the fastest.

getr345

"Much of magic as I understand it in the Western occult tradition is the search for the Self, with a capital S. This is understood as being the Great Work, as being the gold the alchemists sought, as being the Will, the Soul, the thing we have inside us that is behind the intellect, the body, the dreams. The inner dynamo of us, if you like. Now this is the single most important thing that we can ever attain, the knowledge of our own Self. And yet there are a frightening amount of people who seem to have the urge not just to ignore the Self, but actually seem to have the urge to obliterate themselves. This is horrific, but you can almost understand the desire to simply wipe out that awareness, because it’s too much of a responsibility to actually posses such a thing as a soul, such a precious thing. What if you break it? What if you lose it? Mightn’t it be best to anesthetize it, to deaden it, to destroy it, to not have to live with the pain of struggling towards it and trying to keep it pure? I think that the way that people immerse themselves in alcohol, in drugs, in television, in any of the addictions that our culture throws up, can be seen as a deliberate attempt to destroy any connection between themselves and the responsibility of accepting and owning a higher Self and then having to maintain it." ~ Alan Moore

My spiritual awakening (organic and genuine as it is) was coming to realize how true the above statement is, opening my mind to the possibility of a "GOD" or Higher Power, and working to better understand my place in relation to that. IMO, it's not so much that a HP can heal me or restore me directly, but through my understanding; healing comes naturally, as noted above in the Alan Moore quote. When I finally came to realize how truly precious my consciousness (my "soul") is, the desire to intoxicate it, hide from it, deny it, and destroy it was lifted and was replaced with a desire to protect it, expand it, understand it, and USE it as it was meant to be used.

Boleo

AA#3? You mean Rowland Hazard or Bill Dotson?

RobertHugh

Rowland Hazzard was the "first link in the chain"-- from his discussions and treatment under Carl Jung to joining the Oxford group under Sam Shoemaker. He then carried the Oxford message to Ebby Thatcher, and we know where that wound up (in Bill's kitchen).

Bill Dotson, I think, was AA number 3 in Akron-- someone the hospital referred Bill and Dr. Bob to after they had their first meeting and decided they needed to work with other alcoholics.

That's my understanding, anyhow.

zbear23

I believe it was Bill Dotson.
z

zbear23

One of the most useful things in my process of recovery has been coming to realize that I seldom know what I think I know.<G>

blessings
z

NewMe11109

For me it was that day that I woke up happy to not be drinking.

I don't mean "happy that I wasn't feeling the negative effects of drinking", I mean honestly truly being happy that I didn't drink and could enjoy life in the present.

There are days that my thinking slips back, but I find that it gets easier almost every day. I still get unhappy sometimes, but now I prefer to face it without alcohol so I can actually grow as a human being.

LaFemme

I think its really interesting you said that...its also really interesting that DayTrader said almost the same thing...there is, imo an oceanic difference between going to church and being in relationships with your HP.

I also love what getr345 said...once we become aware of our soul and how precious it is we should protect it and cherish it:-)

Come to think of it...I'm not much for rules in general which might be why I am not interested in AA...just a thought.

As far as virtues and living Gods will...I'm pretty much of the school of thought of "Love God, and Love one another"...in this I include loving myself which means self harm is a no no...I figure if I can manage that I'm good:-)

HideorSeek

For me, it was, and is, a sense of peace...the world is the same, but the way I view it is different. I feel a sense of profound humility. Many authors refer to a "dark night of the soul" which precedes a spiritual experience. As alcoholics and addicts, I believe that we have been to the bleakest parts of our beingsl and from that space, we can be given the gift of "grace".

loveon2legs

Just sensing a real inner peace with things....and accepting things for what they are, not for what I want them to be...feeling completely whole... which all of it stems from our HP and for me that is God.. xo

Boleo

Abstinence is not drinking and feeling bad about it

Recovery is not drinking and feeling good about it

I used to use drinking to feel good about not dealing with life

Now I use life to feel good about not dealing with drinking

Tommyh

I got this today from a friend of the program in NJ



12 Symptoms of a Spiritual Awakening


1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.



2. Frequent attacks of smiling.



3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature.



4. Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.



5. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experience.



6. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.



7. A loss of ability to worry.



8. A loss of interest in conflict.



9. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.



10. A loss of interest in judging others.



11. A loss of interest in judging self.



12. Gaining the ability to love without expecting anything in return.





Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds
can change the outer aspects of their lives.

- William James-

sunrise1

Wow, I LOVE all of your posts!!! Thank you for so many different points of view... I have struggled with faith for most of my adult life, and so I too am wondering about a "spiritual awakening"... which I understand is not the same as religious faith.

I jokingly told my sponsor that I wanted a burning bush... I know there's a little truth in every jest- - but at 97 days, I'm willing to wait and see... trust the steps, my sponsor, and AA that whatever it is will come to me eventually.

artsoul

I didn't know when I asked the question how many great responses I'd get. I had forgotten about the AA "symptoms of a spiritual awakening" - thanks so much for that bballdad!

It seems to me, if I can generalize a bit (well, a lot), there's a real common thread here. It's not about finding religion or being zapped by a Higher Power. It's about what happens when we're active in recovery: feeling new life and hope again, being our true selves, and reconnecting with others. It's about acceptance, discovering the spirit within us and finding contentment in that. All of that makes a whole lotta sense to me.

You know, even if I weren't an alcoholic, I'd love coming here. You are all such great people and I'm honored to be a part of SR.

BobGT

I feel the same way, Artsoul. Thanks for starting this thread and for all of your posts.