"but I don't drink that much"
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Mid-Atlantic area
Posts: 32
"but I don't drink that much"
I have never posted here before. Too ashamed, I guess. I am completely alcohol-free and sober for about 21 hours out of every single day. I don't drink in the mornings and I still manage a very high functioning job in healthcare. I read some of the stories about the quantities of alcohol consumed by others and I think to myself, "I'm not that bad. I only drink xxx amount at a time." Still, I can't shake the feeling that its a very slippery slope to the point of no return. My sister already lost her job due to a Vicodin addiction. Am I really any different?
I am the sole support for my hubby and stepson and I work in a high pressure position. I drink about a bottle of wine per day or a six-pack of beer per day. Due to some medical stuff, my tolerance for alcohol is somewhat limited. A bottle and a half of wine left me feeling horrible for a day and a half. But I see this as a very big warning sign. I drink to be numb. I don't want to feel happy, sad, angry, annoyed ... I just don't want to feel. Truth be told, I would be perfectly happy to go to sleep and never wake up again.
I am the sole support for my hubby and stepson and I work in a high pressure position. I drink about a bottle of wine per day or a six-pack of beer per day. Due to some medical stuff, my tolerance for alcohol is somewhat limited. A bottle and a half of wine left me feeling horrible for a day and a half. But I see this as a very big warning sign. I drink to be numb. I don't want to feel happy, sad, angry, annoyed ... I just don't want to feel. Truth be told, I would be perfectly happy to go to sleep and never wake up again.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi emptysoul
I always say it's not so much how much we drink or even when, but why and what happens to us when we do...
If you think it's a problem, then I think it is.
I can certainly see a lot of myself in your post.
You'll find a lot of support here tho. Good to have you with us
D
I always say it's not so much how much we drink or even when, but why and what happens to us when we do...
If you think it's a problem, then I think it is.
I can certainly see a lot of myself in your post.
You'll find a lot of support here tho. Good to have you with us
D
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,894
Welcome to SR! Glad you found us.
You sound awfully depressed and you also sound like you are under quite a bit of stress. Is there some reason why you are the sole breadwinner in your home? Dee is right that it's not always the quantity of alcohol we consume, it's what happens to us when we consume it. It sounds like you might be self-medicating due to a stressful situation.
Please stick around and read a lot and post a lot. We are here to support you.
You sound awfully depressed and you also sound like you are under quite a bit of stress. Is there some reason why you are the sole breadwinner in your home? Dee is right that it's not always the quantity of alcohol we consume, it's what happens to us when we consume it. It sounds like you might be self-medicating due to a stressful situation.
Please stick around and read a lot and post a lot. We are here to support you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 139
I didn't drink that much compared to many either. I never got in to any real trouble over it. Did a great job of hiding it. What told me I had a problem was that I tried to stop and couldn't. That is when I knew I needed help.
Many people drank far more than I did. I always keep in mind they didn't start out drinking that much. Thats not where I want to be headed.
Many people drank far more than I did. I always keep in mind they didn't start out drinking that much. Thats not where I want to be headed.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Can
Posts: 79
Originally Posted by EmptySoul 
I don't drink in the mornings and I still manage a very high functioning job in healthcare.
In my case, and in many others, alcoholism is progressive meaning that it's very possible that the amount you drink now will gradually increase.
A six-pack and or bottle of wine already seems like a "problematic" amount to me personally.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Mid-Atlantic area
Posts: 32
My biggest fear is not the how much, but the why. I know my sister is going through some stuff that makes her want to shut down and escape. Although she can't exactly verbalize this, I know that we both use our substances of choice to escape and blot out reality. I know this is a problem and just have to find a way through it. For both of us.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
If you are drinking a bottle of wine or a 6-pack of beer over a three-hour period, believe me, you aren't "completely alcohol-free and sober for about 21 hours out of every single day." It takes hours to process that amount of alcohol after you've finished drinking.
Have you ever tried to quit or cut down your drinking? If you've tried, and can't, yeah, it's a problem. The quantities you are consuming are damaging your body, and probably your mind, as well.
When I started in AA, people said to identify with the similarities, rather than compare the differences, between myself and others. We all have our individual stories, but the people I talk to in AA, and here, had the same feelings, the same fear and self-loathing, that I had, when they were at the end of their drinking.
Have you ever tried to quit or cut down your drinking? If you've tried, and can't, yeah, it's a problem. The quantities you are consuming are damaging your body, and probably your mind, as well.
When I started in AA, people said to identify with the similarities, rather than compare the differences, between myself and others. We all have our individual stories, but the people I talk to in AA, and here, had the same feelings, the same fear and self-loathing, that I had, when they were at the end of their drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 387
EmptySoul,
I drank to insulate myself from things that I had a hard time dealing with. I work in healthcare also. I didn't drink everyday...in fact I binge drank about 1-2 days per week(I only work 3 days per week), never got into anykind of trouble whatsoever. No one...not even my husband new that I had a drinking problem. I knew that I needed help when I tried to quit on my own and wasn't able to...that's when I sought help.
I never drank as much as most drinkers I know, but I definitely know that I am an alcoholic. It's not how often or how much time you devote to drinking...it's HOW you drink and what happens to you once you start drinking. It got to the point for me that I wasn't happy with 1 or 2 drinks...I had to drink the ENTIRE bottle.
I am on day 201 of my recovery and I can say that not everyday has been easy, but I have figured out that if I just deal with the problems as they come that they really won't kill me and I can get through them. Physically I feel a million times better than I did when I was drinking. Mentally and emotionally it's like night and day.
I wish peace for you.
anew
I drank to insulate myself from things that I had a hard time dealing with. I work in healthcare also. I didn't drink everyday...in fact I binge drank about 1-2 days per week(I only work 3 days per week), never got into anykind of trouble whatsoever. No one...not even my husband new that I had a drinking problem. I knew that I needed help when I tried to quit on my own and wasn't able to...that's when I sought help.
I never drank as much as most drinkers I know, but I definitely know that I am an alcoholic. It's not how often or how much time you devote to drinking...it's HOW you drink and what happens to you once you start drinking. It got to the point for me that I wasn't happy with 1 or 2 drinks...I had to drink the ENTIRE bottle.
I am on day 201 of my recovery and I can say that not everyday has been easy, but I have figured out that if I just deal with the problems as they come that they really won't kill me and I can get through them. Physically I feel a million times better than I did when I was drinking. Mentally and emotionally it's like night and day.
I wish peace for you.
anew
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I'm sorry you and your sister are going thru personal difficulties
Have either of you tried counseling?
When I was diagnosed with situational depression...my psychiatrist sggested I check out AA. I did....it's been an awesome
adventure in self discovery and living as a non drinker...
That damage mentioned? It's true for all drinkers
not only alcoholics.
Hope the two of you will aim for a clean and sober life
Welcome to our recovery community....
Have either of you tried counseling?
When I was diagnosed with situational depression...my psychiatrist sggested I check out AA. I did....it's been an awesome
adventure in self discovery and living as a non drinker...
What is moderation?
According to the U.S. Center for Disease Control
Moderate drinking is no more than
2 drinks a day for men..1 for women
They consider a drink to be
12 oz. of beer..5 oz. of wine...1 1/2 oz of liquor.
Your body and mind processes all 3 toxins equally
so drinking only wine or only liquor or only beer
or mixing them is of no importance.
They all do the same damage.
According to the U.S. Center for Disease Control
Moderate drinking is no more than
2 drinks a day for men..1 for women
They consider a drink to be
12 oz. of beer..5 oz. of wine...1 1/2 oz of liquor.
Your body and mind processes all 3 toxins equally
so drinking only wine or only liquor or only beer
or mixing them is of no importance.
They all do the same damage.
not only alcoholics.
Hope the two of you will aim for a clean and sober life
Welcome to our recovery community....
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Akron OH
Posts: 57
It is also always good to remember that all beers are not the same ABV. I used to tell myself that I was "just having a six-pack" when I was drinking the equivalent of TWELVE units in those six beers!
A 750ml bottle of red wine typically averages out to 9 units as well.
A 750ml bottle of red wine typically averages out to 9 units as well.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
One doesn't have to drink "that much" to get the feeling that your screen name implies, EmptySoul.
In THIS THREAD you'll read about how the drinking was just the outward manifestation of an internal problem.
Alcoholism is a 3-pronged problem: Physical, mental and spiritual. Quitting the booze (or wine / or beer / or whatever) works on 1/3 of the issue. The other 2/3's are still "drunk." That's why you'll see that often times ppl stop drinking in the hopes of feeling better but, to their horror, realize they actually feel worse. This sort of person will often go through relapse after relapse after relapse. Periods of "not drinking" followed by periods where, somehow, they we right back at it - often with no ability to discern WHY they're drinking again.
Since few alcoholics wise up to what's happening early on in the disease, they continue drinking, often for years. Years of drinking "professionally" tends to build up one's tolerance. To someone on the outside, it seems logical that it's the AMOUNT of drinking that's causing the damage. To the alcoholic though, it's the alcohol consumption is just the symptom - much like a cough can be a symptom of bronchitis.
Alcoholics drink because of alcoholism and alcoholism leads to intense and progressive drinking. At the end, I could polish off a liter of vodka in 3-4 hours no problem.......but I was an alcoholic suffering from alcoholism lonnnnng before that.
In THIS THREAD you'll read about how the drinking was just the outward manifestation of an internal problem.
Alcoholism is a 3-pronged problem: Physical, mental and spiritual. Quitting the booze (or wine / or beer / or whatever) works on 1/3 of the issue. The other 2/3's are still "drunk." That's why you'll see that often times ppl stop drinking in the hopes of feeling better but, to their horror, realize they actually feel worse. This sort of person will often go through relapse after relapse after relapse. Periods of "not drinking" followed by periods where, somehow, they we right back at it - often with no ability to discern WHY they're drinking again.
Since few alcoholics wise up to what's happening early on in the disease, they continue drinking, often for years. Years of drinking "professionally" tends to build up one's tolerance. To someone on the outside, it seems logical that it's the AMOUNT of drinking that's causing the damage. To the alcoholic though, it's the alcohol consumption is just the symptom - much like a cough can be a symptom of bronchitis.
Alcoholics drink because of alcoholism and alcoholism leads to intense and progressive drinking. At the end, I could polish off a liter of vodka in 3-4 hours no problem.......but I was an alcoholic suffering from alcoholism lonnnnng before that.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SLC, UT
Posts: 141
Hello Empty!
I too drank very similar to you. I would binge during a 2-5 hour period in the evenings. I also thought the same things. "Oh, i'm not so bad" "I could be worse" "I'm sober in the mornings, so I don't have a problem". I also functioned very highly. Held down a demanding job, and a fulltime mom.
Can you go a night without a drink? From the sounds of your post, it sounds like you cannot... That is the point when I started to realize that I had a problem. I would try to skip a night, and I couldn't. The fact that you are worrying about your drinking is also probably a pretty good indication that you should cut down your alcohol use, or cut it out completely.
I hope that you figure out what is best for you and listen to your body if it is telling you it's become too much! I've found SR to be sooo helpful through my journey so far. Keep posting. Best of luck to you whatever you decide
hugs
I too drank very similar to you. I would binge during a 2-5 hour period in the evenings. I also thought the same things. "Oh, i'm not so bad" "I could be worse" "I'm sober in the mornings, so I don't have a problem". I also functioned very highly. Held down a demanding job, and a fulltime mom.
Can you go a night without a drink? From the sounds of your post, it sounds like you cannot... That is the point when I started to realize that I had a problem. I would try to skip a night, and I couldn't. The fact that you are worrying about your drinking is also probably a pretty good indication that you should cut down your alcohol use, or cut it out completely.
I hope that you figure out what is best for you and listen to your body if it is telling you it's become too much! I've found SR to be sooo helpful through my journey so far. Keep posting. Best of luck to you whatever you decide
hugs
Ethanol Intolerant
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Cascadia
Posts: 665
I used to drink the way you do ES. If there is a line between a habitual drinker and an alcoholic, I crossed it about three and a half years ago. For no particular reason, I went from a six-pack or a bottle of wine every evening to bourbon in my morning coffee on the weekends, then week days, then I was buzzed all the time. It was an amazingly easy transition - no soul searching or recriminations were required, just a new game to master. I got pretty darn good at it, but it is an unwinable game.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Mid-Atlantic area
Posts: 32
Thank you for the encouraging responses. I actually can go several days without drinking anything alcoholic, and I wake up every morning feeling better that I didn't down that many calories or post who knows what on Facebook. But then life happens. Its been a lousy year or two. My father had a serious injury, my business partner passed away unexpectedly, a high school friend was murdered in senseless domestic violence, and my spouse remains unemployed due to our pathetic "economic recovery" (he's trying as hard as any human could possibly try). I'm sure counseling would be helpful but options are severely limited due to time and where I live. The town in quite small, and I'm not terribly impressed with the quality of counselors in the area. Hence, trying to find solace and answers here and other forums.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by EmptySoul
... I drink to be numb. I don't want to feel happy, sad, angry, annoyed ... I just don't want to feel. Truth be told, I would be perfectly happy to go to sleep and never wake up again.
It would be best to deal with the monkey on your back now, before it turns into a Gorilla.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Grove City
Posts: 60
I guess I am also not what some would call a heavy drinker, but like what was said earlier, Once I start to drink, for me ususally 1-2 times a week it is heavy and I got wasted. I didn't want to stop I just wanted to forget everything for a while. I don't have control over the amount of what I drink...I am not happy with just a drink or two to relax with. I always over do it. So I know I have a problem and I am stopping before I get worse.
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