Paulos

Anyone ever had that syndrome going on? My life is so insecure, who knows when I'll be put into a home, why did "I" have to be given autism? To give others hope? I feel like I'm going insane, I don't believe how my former stepfather ruined my mother's life again and our ambitions of being a family, I cannot believe it and have to believe it. I know there's a select few on this site that do not believe I can stop drinking, let them, as I for the past months have just CHOSE to drink to calm me the HEL* down. ANYWAY, sometimes I feel like I'm the person who people can just point their finger at around here especially in the chat and go "HA he's that day 0 autistic bum". Imagine how that feels.

Dee74

I felt that way for a long time in my twenties...my life was crap, I was crap, I was probably going to end up in a home anyway...so why not drink.

Looking back at that now at 43, I want to slap that kid into next week, Paulos.

I'm a long way ahead of where I thought I'd be back then...but only because I stopped drinking and gave myself a real chance.

I know it's tough. But this is the only life we get - each of us, no matter what our problems, have the duty to ourselves to make it the best we can....fritter that away and it's gone, man.

D

SASA

I believe each soul has a purpose to fullfill. I also believe it does not matter what other people think of you, you have to find peace within yourself. Once this peace comes andit may take a while you will feel and behave differently. It took me till I was 39 to realize that, so for you my kid I agree with Dee, start working your butt off and get better. I believe you can stop drinking. Drinking has nothing to do with autism, so please do not use this as an excuse (In case you do not beleive me, mice with autism do not get more dependent on alcohol then compared to normal, I know we are not mice, but gene wise very close).

DayWalker

Paulos I can't lie and say I know what it is like for someone like you to have autism, so I won't lie and say I know how your life is. But (and don't take this the wrong way)....you can "choose" to be Autistic and dealing with life and making the best of it, or you can choose to be autistic and an alcoholic. (again please don't take that as an insult, just trying to be honest with you).

As an alcoholic I looked for every reason I can find to rationalize my drinking. Dad dying when I was a kid, lost jobs, illness in the family, friends dying/family members dying, few times I had some serious illness myself...they were all reasons to keep drinking in my own alcoholic mind.

I'm sure things have to be hard for you being autistic, but ask yourself...is keeping drinking making them any better for you?

Again bud please don't take this the wrong way, I do feel for ya and I know it must be hard...but I'm just tryin to tell ya that drinking is not a cure...it just makes life worse in the long run friend.

Steve

Mat

Paulos: Your avatar and sig are awesome, I loved tactics and am going to get War of the Lions for PSP sometime soon with the money I save not drinking(and/or if I ever beat Persona 3). Kirby players frustrate the ever-loving crap out of me at my local SSBB weekly tournament though.

I guess I don't really have much of a point to make here, other than that you seem like a pretty cool guy. Don't get too down on yourself.

Tool311

Paulos,

Due to how awesome your FFT stuff is in your profile and how we're both addicts I can relate to you alot.

It's tough, my father died before I can remember and I deal with the same stuff from my stepfather favoring his kids...

Although using seems like a good vent short term, it really isnt. We all have stress, it's good to take it out by hitting something (a punching bag).

Stay positive!

LexieCat

I don't see any finger-pointing or laughing going on around here. Neither autism nor addiction are funny in the least.

I agree, though, that you can use your autism and your family problems as an excuse. Anything can be used as an excuse. Life isn't fair. People suffer. They suffer from autism and alcoholism and cancer and cystic fibrosis.

You can't become not autistic and you can't become not alcoholic. But that doesn't mean you can't help yourself. I am no expert on autism, but I would bet that drinking doesn't help you function better, even if it feels like it numbs the pain for awhile.

We are on your side. Don't give up. I'm not a gamer, myself (too uncoordinated), but that takes a lot of skill. Do you have a therapist you work with?

CarolD

Paul....
perhaps living in a different place would be beneficial.
Hope you will soon quit again...

FindingDawn

Paulos, I don't know what to say to you...tears are coming down my face as I write this. I am so sorry you feel this way, and I don't know why you have autism either. I will never think you are a bum...I have a 13 year old son with autism.
Much love to you,
FD

penny74

Paulos, l doubt that anyone here is making fun of you.
They all have there own problems.
And anyway, you shouldn't care what other people think or say about you...
Who knows what they do ?