soberbythesea

So we have an annual beach dinner/party where I work and this year it's on Wednesday. The bus leaves from the office at about 4pm and doesn't leave the beach until around 10pm. There is a lot of boozing going on, as well as eating lobster for dinner and the like.

I really don't want to go. It's a hard-drinking environment and I'm only on day 10 of being sober -- assuming I make it to Wednesday (which I'm confident I will), I'll only be on day 12. I feel like this is exactly the kind of environment I'm trying to avoid at this time.

But I don't know how to get out of it. I already said I'd go before I quit drinking, so I can't pretend like I have other plans. And if I'm at work, everyone will notice if I don't go to the party. I can't just stop in to the party briefly and leave early, because it's really far away, which is why they have buses for us (and I don't drive, so I can't take my own car.)

I'm seriously thinking about calling in sick that day. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I can't think of another way to get out of it. Right now I feel like staying sober is so much more important than going to the party and if I have to take a "mental health day" to get out of it, then so be it.

Is that totally absurd? Should I just go and suck it up and drink club soda? What would you guys do?

Boleo

Normally, that is exactly what I would have recommended doing.

If you have to go, try and find a recovered alcoholic or tee-tootler to stick close to. The easiest way to find an AA member is to look by the coffee pot.

Balou

If you can afford the sick time, definitely call in, afterall it is a sickness. Enjoy the time by yourself. I would stay as far away from that party as you can!!!! Good Luck!!!

LaFemme

I vote for the mental health day, spend it at the beach:-D

Mark75

Then don't... really!

Stay away... if you want to stay sober and you don't want to put yourself in harms way, don't. If they were having a party where everyone was jumping out in traffic for kicks, would you go? Well, that's an appropriate analogy for you, right now.

You'll know when and if you are ready for an event like that.

Have a nice wednesday... do something you like to do.

Mark

Taking5

I would call in sick in a heartbeat. Great idea.

recycle

If you don't think you are ready for it - skip it.

soberbythesea

You are totally right, this really puts it in perspective! thank you.

I think I am going to call in. I'll take care of all my obligations tomorrow so I don't feel guilty about it. Nobody gets much work done that day every year anyway...

sunrise1

Good call... especially since you are just beginning your journey. You'll learn coping tactics and will be better able to deal with these situations down the road.

trailrunrbyday

I'm hopping on the sick/mental health day wagon. I especially love LaFemme's suggestion of spending it at the beach(or somewhere else you love). You should be rewarding yourself for such a great decision and heck...one day from work(warranted) is way beter than ultimately losing the job altogether(which is a realistic possiblity).

Kimberly

CarolD

no....it's totally smart to protect your early sobriety.
You could even leave a bit early on Tuesday
complaining about a stomach virus yukky feeling.

Then I'd stay out of public places
in case someone else did not go.

A cosy day at home sounds good to me.

LaFemme

I like the way you think! ;-)

David 1

For me, I wasn't comfortable attending such functions until about 1 year sobriety. I did not trust myself and did not have the tools to know that I would not pick up that first drink. That included social parties too. I just had too much to lose!

I think you are very wise to ask this type of question here - We have been there and know from experience what situations can be problematic. And I like your one day at a time mentality.

Another option may be to take a vacation day to spend time with your family. At least that would be truthful.

There is a liquor store by my gym that I frequented and I still get chills when I drive by and see it (after close to 7 years sobriety.)

Dave

artsoul

Definitely stay away. There will come a time when you may choose to go to things like this, but if you're not ready, you're not ready. After all, the choice to stay sober is a life and death issue for us.

Even if you did go into work that day, you could leave before the bus comes. Just start to talk about "not feeling very good" in the morning, and it would even be true, because you're not feeling good (about going!)

Follow your instincts.

JohnDoeRaeMe

I totally agree with the comments directed towards skipping the event, but if I may quote from the bible here...

"Put your faith into action and use your mouth to speak His word, PROFESS. We have to be doers of the Word, not only hearers. James 1:22"

In this context I have found that if I profess my sobriety to those that seek to derail my goals, I was surprised by the positive reaction from those I spoke to. Many I think were proud/envious/supportive of my choice to not drink "just because there was a party" Now, I didn't come to the party with a big sign on my forehead, but as I was asked why I was not drinking, a simple "I'm not drinking" response was generally all it took.

I'm new to the whole sobriety thing, so take my 2 cents for what it's worth.