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The myth of an HFA

Old 08-01-2010, 06:15 PM
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What made the most sense to me is that "functioning alcoholic" is just a stage of alcoholism. I think it's also a form of denial (I still have a job and a house, therefore my problem isn't that bad).

Like so many, once I got sober I discovered I wasn't functioning as well as I thought I was. And furthermore, is "functioning" enough? What about our potential? Surely a big part of that goes to alcohol.
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Old 08-01-2010, 06:23 PM
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I've described myself as a HFA in the past but no more. I'm an alcoholic, other adjectives are not needed. Saying you are an HFA is like saying you are just a little bit pregnant.
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Old 08-01-2010, 08:53 PM
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High Functioning may just mean lucky - I never had a dui. Never lost a job. Didn't get hooked on other substances. Didn't acquire another life-threatening disease through risky sexual encounters. Just lucky, I guess.
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Old 08-01-2010, 09:29 PM
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I can see where Wilde is coming from - Maybe if you we look at the stages of the disease perspective and then the alcohol-related behaviors with the resulting negative consequences.

Sure, some of us (like myself) received advanced degrees and started drinking more heavily a little later in our lives. In the early stages I was an alcoholic but without drinking I was able to function just fine.

I think when I started drinking my ability to function deteriorated gradually but surely.

But in the end, I still threw those years away and was not truly living life to the fullest.

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Old 08-03-2010, 01:52 PM
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I think the term HFA fits, and I think it was one of the major reasons I questioned my alcoholism and whether I really needed to stop drinking altogether. I have had consequences from my drinking, but I continued to become more successful every year. Some of my thought process has to do with materialistic things, but I learned how to drink effectively, if there is such a thing. I could be drunk, (12 or more beers), could hold conversations with CEO's at sales meetings, parents from my youth sports teams I coached, even police officers. I held my booze well. I also was able to stay physically fit, and I am doing well financially. The only person who could tell if I was drinking was my wife. And she could tell after I had 1 beer, (that's why I love her ). So for me to be able to drink the way I was going 12-15 beers a day, then half a bottle of vodka a night, I had to develop a routine, build a tolerance, and find the right type of drinks that I could hide well and that did not give me a noticable hangover, or even effect me in the morning after. The problem was my life was revolving around how to continue to stay functional without getting caught. Infact I think alot of the reason why I drank was because I felt like I was getting away with something. I liked the feeling of showing up to something that I had no business or for that matter no time to be drunk at, and to be hammered out of my mind.

Not really sure why I enjoyed that feeling so much, but I made sure over the last 2-3 years that I showed up buzzed and normally with some type of flask to drink whereever it could have been most detrimental for me....I guess it was a rush for me. The negative physical effects started to wear on me, with the withdrawals when I was a couple of drinks low, and not sleeping well at night, and then drinking until 2AM and waking up at 6 to run with the dog. But it also started to drain me mentally because what once seemed like fun, (getting drunk everyday, and getting away with it when all the other sorry suckers didn't have a clue and weren't drunk like me), but the lifestyle turned into a very expensive daily job of getting my drink on, hiding the evidence, buying the visine and the mints or gum or mouthwash, showering 3-4 times a day or jumping in the pool to get the alcohol smell off of me. It became a very hard and expensive lifestyle to keep, and to continue coaching full time, and stay successful with my job and finances. It quit being fun for me.

The other part of it was I didn't dislike myself, I was making a conscious effort to continue to drink, I had even gotten to the point that I wasn't fighting with others...I was a happy relaxed drunk and although in younger years I had gotten into fights and in trouble with the law, and had car accidents, and did some really stupid and embarrassing stuff, I was a pretty in control drunk who is well known in my community and looked upon as a stand up person who has a great family and who did alot on my job and in my community. I think most HFA's don't come to recovery places looking for help until they aren't functioning. Mine was a personal choice because I almost stepped over the line and embarrased my family in my mind, so I reached out and started looking for help, because I already knew from past experience that it wasn't going to be easy. There were 3 places drinking was hurting me, it put a strain on my marriage, it hurt me financially because I was spending about $500 a month on booze, it was a daily job that took some real effort on my part to continue functioning, and it just killed my memory. I had touble remembering what day it was. I don't have anything in my life right now that I need to be numbed for other than the daily stresses of life, so I drank and I drank alot because I fell in love with the feeling of being drunk and getting away with it. That's probably another reason why I still haven't had a tough time stopping, because I just drank to drank, there isn't really some underlying reason because I have had a pretty wonderful life.
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Old 08-03-2010, 07:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Zebra1275 View Post
Saying you are an HFA is like saying you are just a little bit pregnant.
This quote will be reused - thank you.
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Old 08-03-2010, 09:27 PM
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The HFA label makes us feel better inside early in sobriety (to deal with our shame).

The HFA label also gives us an excuse to relapse (as in "I'm not as bad as ____")

The HFA label is helpful as it explains why our family and friends do not think that we are alcoholics and, frankly, offer us very little support initially when we tell them we are alcoholic.

The HFA label is bad as it allows us to think that we are somehow different from other alcoholics.


Today, I am just an alcoholic. But, it took me about a year before I could drop the HFA label.

It has already been said on this thread, but I love the quote "I used to think that HFA was a type of alcoholic, but now I know that it is just a stage of alcoholism."
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Old 08-04-2010, 01:22 AM
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I think the example of pregnancy is perfect actually and saying you are HFA is like saying you are 'a little bit' pregnant. You can put adjectives to the word 'alcoholic' as you can use adjectives to go with the word 'pregnant' Someone calling himself/herself HFA is admitting he/she is alcoholic. You can be on the first/second or third trimester of pregnancy. And each trimester comes with different developments.

I do not thing HFA is a label always and I don't think is really tries to prove you are a 'better' human being than the next alcoholic. You are alcoholics coping with the same probem in different stages or different circumsntances (I also believe that what some call HFA are lucky human beings with money and family to hide the lack of functioning).

Honestly, I find the expression useful for many people who are in denial because they are not fitting the homeless stereotype they have in their mind. Someone who understands that they can be alcoholics despite fulfillng their jobs/family duties, not getting consequences from the drinking, is not in denial. I cannot see how it is possible to say alcoholism is progressive and deny there are different stages for different human beings in different circumsntances.

I do not think it is a myth. I believe many people stop drinking before lifes becomes really touched by the consequences of their alcoholiksm precisely because they understand they are alcoholics nonetheless and that the consequences are not there yetI do not like the expression because I do not like the word alcoholic in general and adding adjectives just makes it more pathetic and shameful to me. Cannot imagine going around say 'hello, my name is Wilde and I am an HF/Bottom/whatever/ alcoholic.
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Old 08-04-2010, 05:38 AM
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I think it's important for people (not just people who have personal knowledge of the damage that is done by alcohol abuse but everyone) to know that there are alcoholics who seem to be functioning adults - working, not in legal trouble, paying bills, meeting obligations on the surface but who in reality cannot control their alcohol use. Not every alcoholic starts their day with booze or drinks all day. Many do wait until some time in the evening before they start. And in my personal observations, not all progress to another level of alcoholism. Both my father and stepfather drank at night all night after work all their lives and most definitely were alcoholics but their excessive drinking did not progress.

If the term HFA helps people understand that alcoholism isn't just someone who drinks all day every day but also the man who comes home from work and then isolates himself from his family by drinking quietly and steadily until passing out, then it is not a myth.

IMHO - we need to have people recognize earlier in their drinking life that alcohol abuse is a real problem and to stop long before their lives have become unmanageable. HFA is a term that I think helps people understand that possibility.
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Old 08-05-2010, 01:33 PM
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Originally Posted by pongo View Post
None of us will ever know what we might have achieved had we NOT been drinking. Our level of functioning, high or low, is judged by a relative standard.
Wow. Amazing thought.
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Old 08-05-2010, 02:39 PM
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I like what I have read regarding the term HFA in the previous posts, and I don't mind the term because it probably feeds my ego. I looked at the way I drank as a macho badge of honor type of thing. I prided myself on the fact that I could drink more than anyone in the room and accomplish more than them as well. I thought it was fun to outcoach other coaches and out sell my sales counterparts and be drunk doing it. I liked to drink hard until 2AM with my buddies, then get up at 6AM and pop a six pack on the golf course and see my buddies still puking from the night before and then beat them in golf. My drinking was a very competitive aspect of my life, and I felt it showed what a tough, cool, guy I was.

I realize now that although I was functioning, I was also a very immature idiot! I still acted like I was 17 and it took some mental maturing on my part to realize that I was killing myself and that I truly had a problem.
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Old 08-14-2010, 09:58 AM
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Yeah some would consider me a high functioning alcoholic. Including myself on some days. I make a six-figure salary working from home in my pajamas, have a new car, a luxury apartment, can buy myself whatever I want, yada yada yada.

Inside, I'm a mess. And have relapsed for the millionth time.

Who cares about all the possessions and crap when I'm miserable?

I know a guy who has seven years of sobriety, is homeless (but living with an AA friend) and delivers food for a living. He's one of the most amazing people I know. I want to be like him, even though he's broke and homeless.
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Old 08-14-2010, 10:26 AM
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Originally Posted by LaFemme View Post
Ok, I saw this topic on another thread and it got me thinking. (Btw, flutter was the one who said this first). I often see in the forums, where we refer to ourselves as having been an HFA, I know I am guilty of it myself. Yet as was pointed out, how well are you really functioning if you are an alcoholic? Just because we still have a job or a house or whatever, there really isn't that much seperating us from the poor homeless guy begging for money.

So why do we emphasize how well we are doing despite our disease? Does it make us feel better? Superior? Less of an alcoholic?

Curious to hear what others think...and btw, it seems to be most prevalent, imo, amongst us newcomers.
I don`t feel superior; I actually feel inferior. Other people fell so low. Knowing what I know, knowing their stories, I feel self-indulgent and pampered to keep drinking despite this knowledge.

I also feel like sometimes people play up the lows because it serves up some drama. So, maybe the lows aren`t that reliable to listen to.

And then I think briefly about my lows that I don`t tell anyone about. There`s a bit of drama there, but mostly there is self-flagellation. I think it`s different for women. We don`t beat people up and utter threats and land in jail (DUI`s excepted).

Maybe I should start talking about some lows that don`t have much drama, but that...I don`t know. I`m not crazy, but I am familiar with the dark night of the soul, y`know?
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Old 08-14-2010, 11:33 AM
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For me its just another term, or phrase with little relevance. I am a better person when I don't drink alcohol, its simple as that.....

If I were to analyse it, I think my humble opinion would be that it is all relative and down to individual perception of highly functioning. Thanks, its and interesting thread x
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Old 08-15-2010, 07:20 AM
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My opinion, it is a myth. There is no such thing as a HFA.
I believe they who call themselves that are in denial and do not like the "shameful alcoholic" alone label.

Last edited by tallcactus; 08-15-2010 at 07:21 AM. Reason: spelling
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Old 08-15-2010, 07:24 AM
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Alcoholism is progressive. You can still carry on normally at first and perhaps for quite a while, but if you continue to drink in the same manner, almost always, you will start to see it affecting your day-to-day life. (Most of the time, however, it has already started affecting the day-to-day lives of the families.) Perhaps those who consider themselves high-functioning just haven't yet crossed that invisible line. Not everyone who drinks on a regular basis is an alcoholic, which is great, but those who are will one day not be so highly-functional anymore.
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Old 08-16-2010, 10:03 PM
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Yes I was an "HFA". The neighbors were so surprised I went to a treatment facility. I really don't care for definitions if alcohol affects you negatively it does not matter if you are functilonal or not because if you are drinking be it a hangover or a morning drink you are not the person you could be.
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Old 08-16-2010, 10:48 PM
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Its our ego convincing us that we are different to other alcoholics/drunks...in AA it is called being terminally unique...basically leaves the door open for the next drunk...
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Old 08-17-2010, 01:44 AM
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I thought I was an HFA, till I really looked back over the years and remembered all the nights I passed out, got so drunk I puked my guts out, said things that really ticked people off, embarrassed my family, my wife, and myself, etc.

Sure I had some money, a nice home, new cars and trucks, owned a nice business with several employees, but I was still just a drunk, who existed to drink, with varying intervals between drinks. I still always looked forward to the next outing to get drunk, and it seemed to dominate my mind even from the beginning. I wonder if I was really functional, or did I just live till the next drink, doing whatever I thought would look good at the time, to stroke my ego and try to overcome my total overall sense of inadequacy. Personally, I think I was a chronic alcoholic from the first drink, it just took some time before the first hospital I tried to detox in put that label on my file. Some might say I fuctioned so I could drink, and they'd be right.
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Old 08-17-2010, 04:06 AM
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I was in Prison with hundreds of "Functioning Alcoholics" Just sayin...
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