penny74

Did it for 16 months. Then woke up last week day next to my bed. Could not even get up. Week detox and still feel like s***.
From one one moment of controlled drinking to 4 weeks of no memory in a second. Don't know what triggerded it. Even stole at the shop.
Just go's to show that that doesn't work for me either.
Hope you are all well.

CarolD

That must have been very frightening
Sorry it happened to you....

What did your doctor recommend?

penny74

My doc wants me to take what you call "antibuse"in America ?
It's called Refusal here.
you will not drink after taking that.
Had a bad time.
Wife kicked me out, slept rough. Have bruises and cuts l don't know anything about.
Lost 8 kg's.
Things are getting slowly better now.
But am still thinking how a few beers would calm my nerves.
How stupid is that ?

DayTrader

Alcoholism will use anything, the wind, cloudy days, hot sunny days, friends, enemies, jobs, lots of money, no money, good relationships, bad relationships, success, failure, just about anything as a "trigger."

It may be nice to know your triggers but I found I'm better off getting rid of the source rather than avoiding all the x's, y's and z's. Alcoholism is crafty. What's a trigger today isn't tomorrow and could be a week from now. Chasing triggers is like trying to track down a shape-changing invisible man. AlcoholISM is pretty easy to identify though and there are some great ways to recover from it.

I hope you find your way.
--I gotta say, when I read the title and your first sentence, I was thinking, "wow, that's impressive." By the end of what you wrote though, I was chuckling at the incredible power of alcoholism. It just amazes me how strong it is and how helpless those who have it are against it using our willpower alone.

CarolD

I did use Antabuse in one of my failed attemts at sobriety.
I did drink with it....only a small ammount...hours after I took the pill.
It made me violently ill.....so....I quit taking the Antabuse...

I did stop drinking 4 months later..useing God and AA.

In the U.S. the company that makes Anatbuse suggests
that people who take it also use a recovery program.

Personally....I did find it helped but I also neeeded more assistance.
Just to not drink was more difficult than I imagined.

Sorry you fell on hard times....

penny74

Thanks Carol,
l also lost my job and am in big financial difficulty at the moment.
You can imagine what my family, all the neighbors and there dogs think about me..
My nervous system seems to have been hit very hard and it feels like l am a zombi.
Can't think straight.
l will just have to give this time.
And next to the anitibuse l am getting help from proffessionals.
Maybe life will look better in a few weeks...

least

I hope you can get back on the sober track soon. Alcohol is a hard master and takes everything but gives nothing back but misery.

LaFemme

I'm sorry about what you are going through, that's really rough. I think, and this is just me, that you have to find a way to come to terms with a life without alcohol. Imo, everyone deals with that differently.

Sending positive thoughts your way.

penny74

And even now l am thinking "a few beers and l will feel a whole lot better.."
But l finnaly understand that l can't take one sip.. not now and not in 5 years.
Never wan't to go through this again.
But l had said that 100 times before.
It scares me.
Don't want to end in the street.

keithj

It should scare you, penny. How is this time going to be any different than the previous 100 times?

Just knowing that I can never safely drink again is wholly insufficient to insure that I will never drink again.

If you read Bill Wilson's experience of progression with alcoholism (right around pg 6-7 in BB), it was when he had this knowledge of never being able to safely drink again that things got 'gradually worse' for him.

It jives with my own experience as well. Knowing that I couldn't safely drink again just made my continued drinking more miserable and brought more panic. The realization of that did nothing to keep me from drinking. My continued experiments with re-learning that fact did nothing to keep me from drinking.

Something more was required.

TexasNative

I tried that so many different times, one of countless little ideas my alcoholic mind was telling me we could try. 2 days 2 weeks or even 2 months later I would be on the 20 beers a day program. I might have a teeny bit of strength briefly, but I'm 100% powerless over alcohol in the long run. Hope you get to feeling better, hang in there.

sunrise1

In the Big Book of AA, it clearly says this about the alcoholic: "we are without defense against the first drink"... and once we've done that, well, forget it. We can moderate for a time, but eventually this will not work for us.

Self knowledge is not enough to keep us sober.

I strongly recommend AA... it's worked for me in ways I cannot even describe accurately.

Murray4x5

So sorry you are going through this...a very scary cautionary tale...thanks for sharing.

Murray

GettingStronger2

Oh, I get the "a beer or two would make me feel better" toughts. That is what led me to drinking in the morning and continued throughout the day. Which is what made realize I had a friggin problem. Withdrawal wasn't fun, but it beats living my drinking life now. It was only a day or two for me, which is a small amount to pay!

I'm with Carol. . .had I taken antibuse, I just wouldn't take it if it interfered with my ability to drink. They'd have to give it to me forcibly for it to do any good!

SASA

I know it is a hard time, but drinking definitlydoes and will not improve your situation. Once you drink again and repeat the same, your bills are higher and you are still in the same situation. as hard as it is only changing things help. dus yourself off, pull yourself up and change. With this you will change your luck, patterns, moments and influence the future. If you do nothing the future will not change

TexasNative

I'm with you and Carol! I'm glad some are successful with Antibuse but when I was told of it in 2008 I just chuckled, confused...like, umm..and who is it that's going to force me to take it? I don't know if there is any truth to this but I have heard the military used it a lot back in the day for soldiers that were drinking too much on leave. They probably were forced! Sorry to get off topic....