SASA

so here I am today at day 40. My brother called me and my mom is in the emergency with acute kidney failur. From there she was put in intensive care. Of course I drove immediatly to the airport to take a flight, when I get a phone call from my exBF. When I saw his call I answered and told him my mother is in intensive care and may not make it, I am on my way to the airport. So he listens and then starts that he needs me to help him call a 1800 number to get money refunded for a travel he is not able to take. Of course he waited till the last minute and has 5 minutes before he has to leave the house and he was wondering if I could take care of it for him. What the f.....? Am I loosing my mind or shouldn't I expect some I am sorry, is there anything I can do for you, I know it is a hard time, let me know how I can help kind of things? Or at least a well I hope she is better, let me know? But this, asking em instead to help him get a refund? This is just soooooo unbelievable. So please let me know if I am mistaken here or he is just a big moron and I should kick his b......

sleepie

IMHO- that sounds like a red flag and a bit selfish to be sure.

Kerbcrawler

yes...i think your second option sounds more appropriate...

suki44883

Yeah, he sounds like a totally self-absorbed A-hole. I hope he doesn't get his refund.

Hope your mom is doing better.

Toronto68

I don't think you should bother worrying about being insane on this. I also think you should use your energy and attention sparingly, you've got enough on the go. Worry about your ex-bf and his faults as well as virtues, as the case may be, later.

SASA

it just makes me so mad. I have only my mom left in my family (other then a brother, we are not talking much). So it really hit me today when he completly ignored my pain. Also situations of loss always were dealt with in my family by drinking. so here I am sitting at day40 thinking about to start drowining my sorrow about my mom, being in a hotel room, waiting to get in to her in the morning. This really sucks.

CarolD

I'm wondering why you continue to have contact
with an ex?
IMO you hit the love jackpot by spliting with the jerk!

Prayers going out to your Mom...you and all who love her.

Dee74

I agree with the consensus on your ex.
Prayers for your mom SASA.

D

TorontoGuy28

SASA - you take care of you..

This is a clear lack of compation on his part, IMHO.

Stick with your plan B

Larkspur

Wow. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, SASA. I hope she pulls through. Please try to remember that drinking at the moment won't make it easier or better in the long-term.

As for your ex-boyfriend, we can all make a good guess as to why he's an ex. I'd suggest that if the refund is so important to him, then he can spend his own time and money chasing it.

SASA

thank you so much for your support. It really means a lot to me. I really hope tomorrow will be better. I played the drinking scenario in my head and what stopped me was that I was afraid being drunk when they call from the hospital. just figured it would not be supportive to my mom and make things even worse. I will keep you all updated. I am really glad and thankful for all your support.
Also Carol I answered the phone because it came from an unknown number and I thought it was my brother calling. Of course once I recognized it was him I just was stunned and then becasue I was week I let go just to get kicked back by him. I just always think, is it me with the drinking problem that I am unreasonable, but getting the reassurance here that it is not me definitly helps.

Opivotal

Sasa,

I'm very sorry to hear about your Mom. Sending prayers to you both. Stay strong for her and forget about the insensitive ex. Your not crazy. Its just a shame he couldn't give you some kind of support. Sounds like selfish, inconsiderate TAKER.

Hope your Mom is feeling better.

DayTrader

Some ppl, maybe like your ex, are just too sick to realize the degree of their own selfishness and self-centeredness. I try to keep that in mind when someone strikes a nerve with me. From what I've learned, the best thing for me to do is forgive them, pray for them, and forget about it. .......and NO, no that's not always easy to do.

artsoul

It's definitely not you SASA - thank goodness that guy is now your EX. Don't even think about him - it's not worth the brain cells.

Just focus on breathing and getting through this time without a drink. Your mom knows you're coming (I believe we have that connection with those we love), and you just need to hold onto your hat (and your sobriety) if you have to do it a minute at a time. You'll be glad you did.

Sending prayers and hugs your way, and for your mom as well. This is tough stuff to deal with, so give yourself some credit for staying sober.:ghug3

LovesToTravel

I Love That! It is soooo true of some people and this ex is a big one. Wow.

Hope your Mom is better and drinking is the last thing that you need at the moment. It will just make matters worse and you will be of no help to your family. I know first hand from a few months ago...hang in there...I did. ((hugs))

LifeIs

Sasa, prayers for your mother. Focus now, you certainly don't need a drink!

The best thing you did after stopping the drink is to dump that A-hole! Don't let him bother you, you have so much going for you now.

Keep us posted on your mom and hopefully this reunion will bring your brother and you closer.

LaFemme

First, my thoughts and prayers to you and your Mom.

Second, this guy is a first class creep, I understand you didn't know it was him when you picked up and you were vulnerable, but my advice is to avoid him at all costs forever and ever!

SoberJune282010

Sasa, sorry to hear about your mother, hope she gets well. I agree with everyone, keep a clear head about yourself, she needs you! This ex boyfriend? He's a big boy let him figure it out on his own!