wren

After more than 3 months of sobriety, I relapsed.

I felt like I did what I could to prevent it. Talked to several people about my feelings, etc. That was helpful, but it only delayed what felt like was inevitable.

GettingStronger2

I am so sorry. But remember, you had 3 months! You have not undone what you did. . .you merely stumbled. Stand up again and move forward. Look at what caused you to relapse and work on that. . .and I applaud your courage for being open about it.

CarolD

I do hope you plan to get back on track quickly.

RobbyRobot

Life happens, Wren. Don't despair. Recovery does work out eventually. Relapses have everything to do with alcoholism. Don't be too hard on yourself. Your 3 months are not lost. I hope you have the desire to quit and stop again ASAP. Great you're reaching out already! Sorry for your troubles.

Robby

wren

Thanks, you all.

I do hope to get back on track. The alternative is not very promising.

Kerbcrawler

Hi Wren, after a similar occurence, i found i have moved on much from the old ways, and i no longer fit in with the past..as my new thinking has evolved somewhat, ie happiness,peace of mind without the drink, a small relapse made me realize even more,i hope you have a similar experience, i found it strengthend my resolve, hope you get back on track...best of luck,

223

I recently relapsed as well. I don't think that there's anyone on this board who hasn't. Just jump back on the horse!

sleepie

I don't know why but trouble seems to come in threes for me too... Three days, three weeks and three months. If I break three months, that will be the day to celebrate one small victory. Just stop now, and it's just a slip. Get right back on track and don't look behind you. Don't give in to the infamous all or nothing way- it can be just one day in your history- but no more. Nobody's perfect and it doesn't negate the three sober months or what you learned during that time. But don't let the ball get rolling again. Stop the roller coaster before it's out gate the again. Wishing you the best

MTWildflower

Don't give up, wren.

Dee74

Sorry to hear that wren, but the fact you're posting gives me hope you can arrest this.
Like others have said - don't give up now

D

ElegantlyWasted

Use it s a positive experience! It happened. Now what? Don't dwell on it, but try to learn from it. Call it whatever you want slip, relapse, binge etc; but know that you have the ability to get something positive out of it... What do think triggered it??

wren

I know exactly what triggered it. It was a woman. Thought I was over her. Guess not.

Well, I'll be sober tonight (after feeling sick all day).

postparty82

same here Wren. You're not alone in this . I'm sorry you relapsed, but hopefully you can use it as motivation to get to 4 or 5 months next time...but HOPEFULLY forever. Remember that every day is a victory that you are sober and your 3 months is not lost. Good luck

David 1

It sure is crazy that we have this notion that alcohol can solve our problems!

I am also amazed at the amount of courage you have to admit you relapsed and are willing to learn from the situation.

Just remember how powerful that little voice inside our head can be - Before you contemplate taking that next drink, head to a meeting or post up here.

Dave

DayTrader

That hits home Wren. When you just "know" it's only a matter of time.


You CAN beat it though. Maybe you need to try something different - attack it with some different weapons, ya know? Recovery is possible.....real recovery....that lasts through losing jobs, marriages, homes, girl friends, friends and family through death..... "all weather" recovery. It out there....it's possible.

artsoul

Hi Wren - I feel for you. I really struggled tonight after almost 3 months and could easily have been writing your post. You're not the only one that has had a relapse and it's good that you know what triggered it. So make a list of the positive things you now know that you didn't know yesterday. And give yourself some TLC.

Take a deep breath, be patient with yourself, and start with a new day. :ghug3

keithj

Hi wren. Sorry you relapsed and glad you're back on here. I was going to PM you because I didn't want you to feel called out publicly, but maybe it will do somebody else some good.

Last week I saw a few of your posts in various threads and thought to myself, "Man this is a trainwreck waiting to happen," and I didn't have the courage to tell you. It wasn't because you were talking about craving or thinking about drinking. It was the subtle delusion.

I'm not some super genius or mind reader. I've just seen a lot of alcoholic delusion, where the alcoholism is running the show, whether currently drinking or not.

That notion kept me in the abstain/relapse cycle for a long time. My solution was, ok, stay away from that woman. Then it was, ok, stay away from all women. Then, ok, stay away from those friends, then all friends, then eventually all people.

The problem was not the people or the triggers. The problem was the notion that these things triggered me to drink, and if I could just manage well and run my life a certain way, I'd be OK. This was a delusion and I couldn't see the truth until I could see it. Meanwhile the alcoholism went untreated and I would always find a way to pick up a drink and start the whole thing over.

'I know why I drank' is a delusion that kills alcoholics.

penny74

Sounds all very familiar...
Women, relapse, It just happened.
You could be me.

Kerbcrawler

i have to laugh keithj at your black humour..or not as the case may be? man this is a train wreck waiting to happen, thats quite an assumption..that seemingly would apply to AA members too who happen to have cravings from time to time...or have the thoughts of thinkin about drinking, not critisising, but your telling us no AA members who have followed the 12 steps ever have cravings at all? or the thought from time to time of drinking? many if not most who were heavy drinkers over yrs no doubt, on quitting have still at times the cravings thoughts of drinking, some will act out those thoughts,through force of habit,weakness of mind, hopefully most fully committed wont, i guess the underlying factor,of how desperate are you to stop,how much damage is it doing to your life, and those around you,that non drinking,be it to stay alive is the only option, if so sounds to me like many AA or not, are gonna darn well choose life and change, those that dont have the do or die scenario, may choose to amble in an out of binge, the stop start, melodrama, casual not so fully commited, cos the grim reapers not knockin on the door,yet! so i guess impetus,motivation, how desperate you are, or are not...plays the biggest part?. just my tuppence.

keithj

Yes, it is. It's an assumption based on those that step into the same holes that I did will usually trip and fall the same way that I did. Call me crazy, but when you see that assumption proven over and over, year after year, you start to believe in its validity.