surferdude9371

I just threw away 15 months of sobriety. Im stressed out from school and life. My lies i fear are gonna catch up with me and my girlfriend that i plan to propose to will leave me if she finds out im drinking but i just cant deal with this. I had 2 shots tonight and stopped cause i know im making a mistake but all i can think about is doing more. I havent felt sorry for myself in a while but it is what i miss most about not drinking i love to feel sorry for myself it feels so much more natural than being happy. At this point i dont know what im looking for i know how to get sober I guess i just need to get this off my chest and ask for anyones prayers that will give them because i need them.

sleepie

I'll send you a prayer. 15 months is so great. I'm glad you stopped. And a slip doesn't negate that 15 months. But you need to quit while you're ahead.

artsoul

Prayers coming your way, surfer....... You don't have to continue to drink. It's only going to make you feel even worse. Take a step back and see if there's anything you can do to give yourself a break from the stress. Get something really good to eat, go see a movie, call someone for support. Make the next 24 hours all about staying sober and forgiving yourself.

We're here, so keep posting and hanging in there. It's not the end of the world and it's happened to many of us. :ghug3

surferdude9371

thank you both so much i think im gonna walk over to the pond by me and go fishing that usually helps really appreciate your prayers i need to find God again.

least

Prayers for your well being and sobriety.

artsoul

p.s. - be proud of those 15 months, OK? Don't let your mind start giving you a bunch of negative BS...... You're still the same person who has been sober for over a year. That's no small feat. Focus on that and get some inner peace while you fish.........

MTWildflower

****{surfer}}}

DayTrader

I chuckled when I read the title of the thread. Not at you....more-so in a "I feel ya" sort of way.

One of the lines I really like in the BB comes from the story about Fred. It says (my underlining): I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots. I had never been able to understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated. I knew then. It was a crushing blow.

I'll pray you find your way. A setback like this can be a good thing. Good in the sense that it's a quick wake-up call to change your game a little.

LexieCat

Hey, surfer,

Sorry about the slip, but so far, that's what it is--don't let it turn into a full-blown relapse. You fed your addiction, which means you can expect the cravings to ramp up again. But stopping now will be easier than stopping later.

*oops* posted too soon--

What I was going to say is can you get yourself to a meeting? It's tough to admit a slip, but plenty of people have them, and learn something about the nature of the "beast" and of themselves as a result.

Prayers, hugs, good vibes. You're worth it. Stop now.

Deckard97

Yes there are lots of things that help out most people with whatever problems they have like books, family or inheritance. It is easy for them. In truth only God can help an alcoholic.



The blackcat is still alive and close to me forever.

soberbythesea

That 15 months is still there, surfer. You didn't throw it away. Nothing can take that accomplishment away from you. You stopped after 2 drinks instead of continuing -- that's great. Like the others said, just chalk it up to a slip and get yourself back on track.

CarolD

Prayers for your renewal and peace.....

Dee74

I'm rooting for ya surferdude9371

take care - you can do this
D

MelindaFlowers

Hi Surfer,

This may sound a bit trite but this was my first thought:

Life while drinking became more frightening than life without drinking.

I was also very close to losing my partner; nearly left me. I couldn't imagine how sobriety would have gone if he would have left.

I guess the phrase above pretty much speaks for itself, but when I entered the blackout/destruction/humiliation stage of my drinking was when I became frightened. Not a moment before. If you're not at that stage yet, please take my word for it: you don't want to go there.

hollybear

Hey Surferdude
I know very much how you feel! Sometimes it feels like being happy takes too much effort, right? But what I've learned is that when I really just let go of the white knuckle grip I seem to get on life, and embrace that I cannot control everything, I become calmer and more at peace. And to me, peace is happiness.
15 months is amazing! And the fact that you stopped at 2 shots is amazing! you will be fine. I'm sure of it. And know that you're not alone in this. I hope that things begin looking up for you again very soon.
hugs