help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: northern ireland
Posts: 83
help
Im new to here and guess im at the point were i need advice from people who have been in my shoes . Im 27 and have always loved drinking at the weekends. I would go out and get drunk and have a good time. Over the last five years my hangovers have been real bad. I would wake up and feel paranoid, anxious, shaky and not want to leave the house or answer my phone and i think that has led me to the situation im in now were i go out and drink till i drop and when i wake up il hit the bottle as soon as i roll over just sitting in my bed drinking on my own and watching tv . ive done this for 3 to 4 days before and it takes about the same amount of days to get my head straight. i left me job because i was a nervous paranoid mess and started to hate nearly every friend i worked with. when im off the drink im very happy and full of energy and pretty nice company so i cant understand why i do this to myself.....its finally hit home that i maybe an alcoholic. I always thought an alco was some one who drink everyday. I can go about two weeks but i do actually crave it more than the social situation im in. Im afraid to quit because im afraid i will end up a recluse as all my friends are drinking buddies and some have it worse than me. Its also hard for me to talk to my mates about it because they have heard it all before and they dont want me to quit as its our done thing most weekends. I also dont have a girlfriend and thats basically because when im out im more interested in getting drunk than looking for women......but i am straight and find women very attractive lol just need someones honest point of view of what they think i should do. if i have to quit then i will give it a serious shot. thanks
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I couldn;t make up my my mind between the having to stop and my mates either, foghead - I near died because I wouldn't make the rational sane decision that drinking was bad for me.
I thought my life would be over once I quit - but in truth it began.
I'm now far closer to the man I want to be and the life I always dreamed of leading when I was sitting there in my poky little flat bombed out of my mind.
Yes I lot a few drinking buddies - but I gained some new sober ones, and I reconnected with a lot of old friends who I'd moved away from cos they didn't drink.
I know it's a scary thought, but just take it a day at a time. You'll find a lot of support here too.
See a Dr first if you're a heavy drinker, and think about checking out a recovery group like AA or SMART or something.
I don't think you can get too much support.
welcome to SR
D
I thought my life would be over once I quit - but in truth it began.
I'm now far closer to the man I want to be and the life I always dreamed of leading when I was sitting there in my poky little flat bombed out of my mind.
Yes I lot a few drinking buddies - but I gained some new sober ones, and I reconnected with a lot of old friends who I'd moved away from cos they didn't drink.
I know it's a scary thought, but just take it a day at a time. You'll find a lot of support here too.
See a Dr first if you're a heavy drinker, and think about checking out a recovery group like AA or SMART or something.
I don't think you can get too much support.
welcome to SR
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 335
Hey I can identify with what your saying. I'm 29 and have only 6 days sober but I had the same symtoms as you I would wake up in the morning really anxious, my heart was racing, I had a real bad headaches and the panic attacks made me think this was the end for sure.
Alcohol was a great crutch for me especially in social situations I felt I really needed it. Its only been 6 days and I feel clear headed and feel fresh in the mornings instead of hungover. Pretty much drinking the booze to feel good for a few hours wasn't worth the panic and insanity going through my head the next day. So I decided to give it away. I'm not sure what I'm going to do in social situations but it can't be worse than what the drinking was doing to me.
Keep reading round the forum it helps me out alot!
Alcohol was a great crutch for me especially in social situations I felt I really needed it. Its only been 6 days and I feel clear headed and feel fresh in the mornings instead of hungover. Pretty much drinking the booze to feel good for a few hours wasn't worth the panic and insanity going through my head the next day. So I decided to give it away. I'm not sure what I'm going to do in social situations but it can't be worse than what the drinking was doing to me.
Keep reading round the forum it helps me out alot!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: northern ireland
Posts: 83
yea i even find the drinking sessions with my buddies are not as enjoyable as they used to be...i used to drink to become more social and now its the drink making me very unsociable. alot of my mates dont know i also get drunk alone whic makes it harder for them to understand what i put myself through, i also have a passion for bodybuilding and thats another reason why i beat myself up so much after drinking because im not able to stick to my routines and therefore make any progress....but i think i started bodybuilding years ago mainly to keep me off the drink , vicious circle. it is nice to see im not the only one in this situation and maybe we can all help eachother. im on day 3 of no drink and still have a foggy head. i know next week i will be right as rain if i stay dry and its easier once you pass the withdrawl but its just that i have been in this cycle for too long and its hard to think this time is diffently the last. chin up though init!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: northern ireland
Posts: 83
yea...........i think your right. my dads an alcoholic but wont admit it because he can hold a job down. ive watched him crawl up the streets drunk all my life...we hardly talk to eachother and he hardly talks to anyone in his family and slowly i can see myself going that way but the good thing is i know i have a problem and i want to get it sorted while im still young...the longer you leave it the worse it would become and harder to let go off...in a way he has done me a favour.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community...
For me...all my friends were excessive drinkers.
All our activities involved alcohol.
When I told them I decided to changed my lifestyle
would not be joining in bar crawls ..my apartment was
now a non drinking zone......most drifted away.
I felt shunned and rejected.
That's when my new AA friends became a great resource.
We did all sorts of interesting things outside of meetings.
I had a blast ...we stayed sober...it was sooo much better!
Good to see you here with us
For me...all my friends were excessive drinkers.
All our activities involved alcohol.
When I told them I decided to changed my lifestyle
would not be joining in bar crawls ..my apartment was
now a non drinking zone......most drifted away.
I felt shunned and rejected.
That's when my new AA friends became a great resource.
We did all sorts of interesting things outside of meetings.
I had a blast ...we stayed sober...it was sooo much better!
Good to see you here with us
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Hi Foghead.......and welcome.
It's my experience that I had a drinking problem well before I started to think I just might have a drinking problem. It's also my experience that if one is starting to think that they might be an alcoholic, there's a very good chance they are. The non-alcoholic drinkers I know have never thought that they might be alcoholics.
So, there's a pretty good likelihood that your suspicions are well placed. The next important thing to do is decide if you're willing to do something about it. I found that "thinking" wasn't enough to control or stop my drinking. I mean, I was sure it would be but my experience was that no matter what angel I tried, I'd seemed to always end up back where I didn't want to be - as alcohol's little b**ch. That pretty much scared me - when I realized I couldn't "just stop it."
Eventually I found some faith in AA. Here was a group of ppl who totally and completely understood my feelings. They seemed to know what I was thinking AS I was thinking it. They all felt and drank the way I felt and drank.......yet they were happy now, didn't drink, and enjoyed life. They promised me I could get to where they were (in life) if I'd just do the same stuff they did to get there - kinda "follow my lead" stuff.
I hope you find your path. There are many roads to happiness and sobriety....and even though it may not seem like it, life beyond the bottle, the party, and the scene is wayyyy better than you probably believe.
It's my experience that I had a drinking problem well before I started to think I just might have a drinking problem. It's also my experience that if one is starting to think that they might be an alcoholic, there's a very good chance they are. The non-alcoholic drinkers I know have never thought that they might be alcoholics.
So, there's a pretty good likelihood that your suspicions are well placed. The next important thing to do is decide if you're willing to do something about it. I found that "thinking" wasn't enough to control or stop my drinking. I mean, I was sure it would be but my experience was that no matter what angel I tried, I'd seemed to always end up back where I didn't want to be - as alcohol's little b**ch. That pretty much scared me - when I realized I couldn't "just stop it."
Eventually I found some faith in AA. Here was a group of ppl who totally and completely understood my feelings. They seemed to know what I was thinking AS I was thinking it. They all felt and drank the way I felt and drank.......yet they were happy now, didn't drink, and enjoyed life. They promised me I could get to where they were (in life) if I'd just do the same stuff they did to get there - kinda "follow my lead" stuff.
I hope you find your path. There are many roads to happiness and sobriety....and even though it may not seem like it, life beyond the bottle, the party, and the scene is wayyyy better than you probably believe.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Your 'bad hangovers' sound like withdrawal to me. Please do talk to your doctor about wanting to quit drinking. Withdrawal can be dangerous so please be safe when stopping drinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: northern ireland
Posts: 83
there also is never a period when you have no need to drink....sisters birthday and cousins stag in two weeks then his wedding two weeks after that. the drink that keeps me on a bender is buckfast. if i drank beer i would only drink the one night but as soon as i have a few beers i really crave buckfast...its very addictive stuff and way too much caffine in it which is also why im run down after it. wish it got band to be honest. thanks for you comments folks...very supportive and is actually making me feel better and stronger.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by foghead 
... when i wake up il hit the bottle as soon as i roll over
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: London, England
Posts: 211
I quit 5 months ago at 27 so same age as you. I can still go out and party but just like to have a way out as don't like being out for as late as I used to but it gets easier as time goes on. Sounds like you know you have a problem with it compared to your friends and so you have come to the right place. My friends drink alot sometimes but they are actually having fun, not starting fights, getting arrested or ending up in tears like i used to! I have way more fun now! Good job for finding us here
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 638
Foghead,
Thank you for sharing on here, you remind me allot of myself about 8-9 months ago. I am 27 as well. I would drink pretty heavily with my friends and would wake up experiencing the same symptoms you described. Then after a night of drinking I would wake up take a few pulls from a bottle of vodka and lay in bed till I would pass out again( My friends didn’t know this as I was embraced by this behavior). If I started drinking on a Friday it would easily go on non-stop till about Tuesday and then take till Friday again to feel somewhat normal. I am heavily into Brazilian Jiujitsu and it would interrupt that hobby just like your body building. It was a vicious cycle that I never thought would end but it did. I went to rehab for two weeks and dried out there.
After that I really have just had this attitude of "I am not going to drink today." Every now and then I hit up an AA meeting but only if I am really struggling. I read alot of books about recovery and enrolled in night classes as well. My jiujitsu is going great being sober these past 7 months. I don't hang out with the old friends or "mates" that I used to. It was hard letting them go but a much needed sacrifice in order to be alive and well today. At weddings or events where drinking is involved I only stay for one hour and then leave. I can honeslty say my life is so much better that I am not in that cycle of waking up with anxiety, drinking in bed, losing jobs and the list goes on. You can do this with some the right help and support.
Thank you for sharing on here, you remind me allot of myself about 8-9 months ago. I am 27 as well. I would drink pretty heavily with my friends and would wake up experiencing the same symptoms you described. Then after a night of drinking I would wake up take a few pulls from a bottle of vodka and lay in bed till I would pass out again( My friends didn’t know this as I was embraced by this behavior). If I started drinking on a Friday it would easily go on non-stop till about Tuesday and then take till Friday again to feel somewhat normal. I am heavily into Brazilian Jiujitsu and it would interrupt that hobby just like your body building. It was a vicious cycle that I never thought would end but it did. I went to rehab for two weeks and dried out there.
After that I really have just had this attitude of "I am not going to drink today." Every now and then I hit up an AA meeting but only if I am really struggling. I read alot of books about recovery and enrolled in night classes as well. My jiujitsu is going great being sober these past 7 months. I don't hang out with the old friends or "mates" that I used to. It was hard letting them go but a much needed sacrifice in order to be alive and well today. At weddings or events where drinking is involved I only stay for one hour and then leave. I can honeslty say my life is so much better that I am not in that cycle of waking up with anxiety, drinking in bed, losing jobs and the list goes on. You can do this with some the right help and support.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Redneck South! :)
Posts: 291
Originally Posted by DayTrader
It's also my experience that if one is starting to think that they might be an alcoholic, there's a very good chance they are. The non-alcoholic drinkers I know have never thought that they might be alcoholics.
Really glad you're addressing the problem.. that's a huge step!
Stay connected here and if you can get involved in a program for support, all the better! ... believe me... your story isn't unique... We've all been there!
Debs
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome, foghead!
Glad you're here. It made me really nervous thinking about all my drinking friends and parties at first, too. Of course, the more I drank, the more I didn't even care about socializing.
Once sober, I went to a few social events and found out that I really didn't enjoy the ones where everyone's just sitting around drinking. If there was another reason to be there (like a wedding I went to), it wasn't that bad. Not everyone is getting loaded and there's food and entertainment.
Just take it a day at a time and try not to get out there thinking about the future. If we can do it, so can you!
Glad you're here. It made me really nervous thinking about all my drinking friends and parties at first, too. Of course, the more I drank, the more I didn't even care about socializing. Once sober, I went to a few social events and found out that I really didn't enjoy the ones where everyone's just sitting around drinking. If there was another reason to be there (like a wedding I went to), it wasn't that bad. Not everyone is getting loaded and there's food and entertainment.
Just take it a day at a time and try not to get out there thinking about the future. If we can do it, so can you!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: chico, ca
Posts: 321
Welcome. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, you know the rest. I tried all the things available to curtail the drinking problem and nothing worked except complete abstinence. I've been sober a little while now and I stay that way with the help and support of AA. There are many ways to get and stay sober, but making the decision and following that decision with action is what worked for me. God Bless
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: northern ireland
Posts: 83
thanks to you all. im going to try this myself now i have this site to come on to every day. if i fail then i will have to go seek professional help. Ive decided to give myself a goal of 30 days with no alcohol. i will avoid all situations that will involve drink and im going to stick to my bodybuilding routines. i will avoid the friends that drink and tell them what im doing and if they are my real friends they will understand and stick to me and if they dont well then i know that we were never friends...just drink buddies both in a rut. im taking one day at a time and im actually looking forward to seeing how it feels to have no alcohol in my system for that long....when i reach that 30 days i will write down how different i feel about myself and the world and then set my next goal for another 30 days instead of saying i quit forever....i think that creates too much pressure in trying to quit
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I think that's excellent, foghead. I couldn't think about quitting "forever" either. I had to take it a day at a time, and put that drink off for a couple days or a week in my mind. Today is all we have and it's plenty enough to focus on! Keep us posted!:ghug3
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