catcatdog

Ok, I am not looking for a lecture, not looking for any spirituality or 12 step.

I am a very spiritual person. I believe in god and my strength is there.

My story is simple

I went a period of time drinking moderately, a few drinks nightly.

I then stopped for about a year, then resumed for a few months.

Then quit again.

Then for the last 5-6 months I am back to drinking again.

I have a limited, alcohol makes me feel like total garbage and if I get more than say 4-5-6 drinks I feel totally hellish, bed spins, sickly, yuck. I hate it.

However, I enjoy the moderate 2-3 evening relaxing drinks.

Generally I am a big fan of beer, but I am working on getting in shape, working on my health and I started thinking the beer was giving me acid reflux. So for the last week I switched to about 3-4 ounces of vodka with lemonaid. I like to unwind with the tv and relax.

My problem is simple, I get into a depedence, the dependence never increases but I start to get what I believe to be withdrawal or anxiety until I get to that next drink. I generally feel pretty good the next day, but as I near 24 hours since the last drink I start to feel not so well.

For over 13 years I have had periods off and on of drinking, never in excess.
I am a light drinker, but it does become a habit and I believe I do get some tolerance as I do believe some days it does very little for me and some days it seems to just curb the dependence side effects. I think its like a habit for me like a person who drinks coffee. If I miss a day I feel it big time and its pure anxiety.

I have had success weaning from 2-3 drinks to nothing and then quitting.

This time however its been different, I feel total anxiety, I feel unwell. I just don't like myself. The anxiety and uncomfortable constant can't relax feeling is just annoying. This is all sudden. I just visited my doctor and I told him about the drinking and he was not concerned, I did do a blood panel and I am in great health. But, I have anxiety and my BP has been borderline high as I have been so anxious, is comes down on its own but I feel like I drank 10 cups of coffee and have asthma.

I want to stop. I can't just quit cold turkey, its not my chemistry, its not my style, I like to ease into things, I like to plan I like to be structured. However this time I am struggling cutting back. I am seemingly stuck at 2 drinks, and the anxiety is overtaking me.

I did switch to vodka and that may be a problem. I am on a gluten free diet and my metabolism may be different now. I was drinking gluten free beer, but over time I was getting acid reflux from it. So I switched to vodka.

I am mad that I got into this routine, I would have preferred an occasional drinking day, but this everyday thing is starting to suck. I know according to doctors 2 drinks a day for men is fine and some say up to 4 is ok. but my body is not having it anymore.

I don't need a title, I don't need anything but support, and friendship.

I am ready to stop, I believe I need to have some assistence in quiting. my fear is life insurance just started and they are investigating me and I am right now without health insurance and I want health insurance. I want to talk to my doctor but nowadays they seem to be recording everything into the computer and it effects your future costs in healthcare and life insurance. I want him to help me confidentially, but I don't see that happening.

Sorry to be a big baby, but my minimal use has seem to turn on me and I feel stuck. I know my problems seem minimal and I don't mean any disrespect. I am just stuck. This anxiety from drinking is over the top, the anxiety as I try to quit or cut back is nearly debilitating. I am firmly stuck.

CarolD

I think you are very wise to be concerned
no one should continue to feel unwell....

Anxiety is not part of my medical history
either when drinking or now. We do have a
Forum here ...you could check that out.

Anxiety Disorders - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Welcome and I sure hope you can find answers
to your situation.....

Chops

Thanks for the post, it reminded me of myself to a point.

I drank for fun, I like the effect it produced, liquid courage to put it simply. Then I drank to sleep, could not sleep without a couple. Long story short, light jitters on a Sunday Evening and needing a couple beers turned into flat out anxiety attacks and needing a few beers, then a shot of vodka to settle down and sleep.

When I would try to stop drinking I would go the ER some nights for fear that I was having a heart attack. This led me to a full cardiac workup at 18 years old, despite being told I was healthy (except for high BP) I still thought it was cardiac not booze. A quick note: on days that I did a couple shots before the doctor's office my BP was perfect.

My drinking progressed however in my 20's to an ugly state of affairs. Morning drinking etc. Held down good jobs and kept it semi together though until it caught up with me in my late 20's. 28-32 was just ugly, needed booze to function, and without it the anxiety was so bad I could do very little.


For me the cutting back did not work, it only progressed and I needed more. I learned later that as an alcoholic its all or nothing and that once booze enters my system its a done deal and I can't stop. The amount is irrelevant, just matters that I get hooked and off I go.

So that is that, alot of good people here and I hope you get some answers.

For me it was AA, and the funny thing is that the label alcoholic was alot better than dirt bag or hypochondriac. Despite my self diagnosis of either General Anxiety Disorder or Cardiac Failure etc. it was all booze. Put it down 2 years ago and although there sometimes a bit of anxiety (normal range of human emotion stuff) I don't suffer like I did, and this is without other chemicals.

Good Luck and welcome................

artsoul

Welcome catcatdog (Like the name!)

I think I know what you're talking about when it comes to the anxiety (kind of like "inner shakes," like your nerves are frayed, and you feel totally on edge and sick at the same time). I started feeling that way most days when I got up in the morning and it really got to me, too. After a few days of sobriety it went away completely.

I'm glad you came here to talk about your desire to quit. It really helped me. It's so nice to know others understand what you're talking about and you're not alone! Keep posting and reading!

Music

Then drink your 2 or 3 drinks in the evening. What's to worry??

suki44883

If you are going to stop there is only one way to do it and that is to just not pick up another drink; however, if you can have a couple of drinks and then no more, why are you wanting to stop? Not that there's anything wrong with that.

catcatdog

yeah I can control my drinking. I have a limit and I never really go over it. 2-3 drinks is it for me. I am not waving this around proud, its just my chemistry. I have tried to drink more and I get so awfully sick that I just can't do it. My problem is maybe not significant in comparison, I understand that and I mean no disrespect, but while I did enjoy the 2-3 drinks, my body is now in pseudo withdrawal or withdrawal or I am getting a rebound anxiety after those 2-3 drinks are metabolized, so I tried to cut down and quit and the anxiety is getting more intense in this pseudo withdrawal. So I am drinking to stay away from the anxiety only to get a rebound the next day of it. I need a mild way to detox as the anxiety is pure madness and I know its a result of the alcohol.

suki44883

Have you spoken to your doctor about your desire to stop? He/she may be able to prescribe something to help take the edge off for a few days.

catcatdog

I had mentioned it and he was no concerned, also I believe because of computer records he doesn't want it to be part of my profile as it will affect me in life and health insurance in the future. So he wants me to just cut back if it bothers me, otherwise my body is fine and there is no harm in a few drinks nightly. But clearly I have reached a limit and I need to clean house and lay off. My body is really sensitive and 2-3 drinks to me, for a while was like someone elses six pack. So I need to ease into quitting. I think I need to switch back to the gf beer as the vodka is seemingly causing me more anxiety. the gf beer was just causing me acid reflux but I was much calmer drinking that. so I probably will pick up a case today and just slowly over the next 2 weeks cut it down to nothing.

Thats my current plan.

suki44883

Yes, I saw where you said your doctor wasn't concerned about the amount you were drinking. I was curious though, if you had told him about your anxiety when you try to stop. That was what I was referring to when I said he might be able to help you out there.

You know yourself better than we do, so if you feel like switching back to the beer will help, then I hope it does. I have used OTC Zantac in the past for the acid reflux and it has worked well for me. It comes in different strengths. Also, OTC Prilosec is something you can take for a 14 day period and it has also worked well for me. If, after the 14 days you continue to have the problem, a visit with your doctor might be in order. Good luck.

catcatdog

yeah he saw me just 2 days ago and said my anxiety is out of control, and recommended some counseling which I am pursuing. He also thought my blood pressure was borderline high due to the anxiety. He did not connect the alcohol to the anxiety. But went over my blood results and said my blood results are amazing and that I just need to get off the anxiety. I mentioned the drinking a few times, but he was not so concerned. Honestly, I am always high strung a little, its just this is now a becoming rebound or withdrawal or tolerance and making it worse. I have some pepcid and I am going to just take it slow for the next few weeks and hopefully that resolves it. Thank you

artsoul

Just wondering if you're maybe drinking more after you changed to Vodka and don't realize it? Are you just pouring the Vodka in a glass, or are you measuring out the alcohol (i.e. using a shot glass?), and how quickly do you consume your drinks? I think it takes 1 to 1 1/2 hours for your body to metabolize one drink, so if you drink more quickly than that, it would make a difference.

It definitely sounds like the answer lies in stopping and seeing if your anxiety goes away. All the best.

catcatdog

thank you

I would say there is a chance that I am getting more out of the alcohol with the vodka. I do measure out 4 ounces, but I might be getting slightly more, not much. But its strange the vodka was supposed to be my replacement to the gf beer as the gf was giving me acid reflux, but when I drink the vodka it almost acts as a stimulant, I feel totally wired from it. The day after sucks completely. I bought this bottle last week and its about gone, starting back on the gf beer today and going to slowly spend the next few weeks cutting it to nothing. I need a break I guess. I feel like I am on a constant caffeine binge, and I am sick of it. I am feeling like I am on the verge of a panic attack, just shy of it, but for most of the day its constant like this. I trace it back to the change of drinking. I just need to allow my body a break and my method will be a tapering off. thanks everyone

Taking5

4 ounces total or 4 ounces per drink? 1-1/4 ounces of 80 proof liquor = 1 beer. So if you are drinking 4 oz that is a little more than 3 drinks. If you are drinking 12 oz that is closer to 10 drinks.

catcatdog

in my google past I always thought it was 1.5 ounces is considered the same as a light beer and 2 ounces is considered the same as a regular beer.

none the less, its still back in the 2-3 drinks a night. I think maybe once I had close to 12 ounces of vodka, and wow I couldn't stand the feeling.

David 1

You actually sound like you drink less than most "normal" drinkers I know. I agree with the sentiment here, get help with the anxiety issue and it sounds like you will be on the right track. Anxiety seems like the underlying problem. I only drank for one reason - To get drunk. I could not stop every night at 4 ounces or 4 beers.

Dave

catcatdog

I agree thank you. Actually its a cycle. I believe I have anxiety issues and I drink to relax them and then the alcohol is metabolized and the anxiety increases so I drink again, for some reason my body doesn't like the alcohol past a certain level so I fortunately can control myself but I do feel dependence at this point and need to work on that as well as the anxiety.