zubia

Hello all. This is my first post here. I've been reading some of the past threads and they've helped me quite a bit. I'm still a newbie when it comes recovery. I can keep it together during the work week but struggle with not drinking during the weekends. I think alot of it has to do with the situation I'm in. I recently relocated for a new job and I'm away from my friends and family. I don't have a social circle I can connect with during weekends.

I find that having something to look forward to is key to avoiding drinking. I've tried going to AA meetings during Fri/Sat evenings but dreaded going to them. I can usually keep myself busy enough during the morning and afternoon hours on the weekends, but it's the evenings that I really struggle with.

Other than AA meetings, does anyone have any suggestions on what there is to do on a Friday or Saturday evening that doesn't involve staying at home?? I'd hang at my local gym or take some sort of class but my gym closes early during Fri/Sat and I haven't been able to find any classes I can take that are offered on a Friday or Saturday evening.

Again, I know going to AA meetings makes sense but I'm curious if others here were able to find alternatives to going to AA meetings on weekends.

Thanks.

hollybear

Hi Zubia!
I, too, do not enjoy AA meetings at all. They don't work for me, and do not help me. I know they help a lot of people, so I'm not bashing AA, but I understand that it really isn't for everyone!
That being said, maybe try doing something outside? Take a walk, go for a bike ride. Getting out and getting fresh air can do wonders
If you're anything like me, my friends have been a serious detriment to my sobriety... I've actually made the choice to no longer be friends with them. I only have one life and if people in my life are not helping me be healthy and happy, there are other people who are better for me.
Good luck with everything! Congratulations on making the choice to change your life for the better

DayTrader

Go help another drunk! Find someone at the meetings who's newer than you or has less time than you, or just someone who's having a rough time, get their number, give them a call and ask how they're doing. Be friendly to them and try to lend a hand.

I know NO better way to put a beat-down on my "ism" than getting out of myself, off my pity-pot and instead trying to be of service to someone in need.


--haaaa... I remember asking the same question at a table onetime and one of the guys I really really liked and respected looked over at me and said, "Why don't you go to Champps (my bar of choice) and get loaded?" Right after he said it, he kinda stared/glared at me for a couple seconds then walked away. I was sooooooo pissed at that jacka$$ that there was NO WAY I was gonna drink and give him the satisfaction. A couple weeks later, I brought it up with him. He started laughing his butt off and said, "I KNEW there was no way in heII you were going to drink THAT weekend. An oldtimer said that to me when I was new and it made me so mad I didn't drink just to spite that old fool." --oldtimers are smarter than we realize!

So.......in the spirit of good fun (cuz I know how things can get twisted on a message board)....... Zubia, why don't you say F-it, go down to the bar and get loaded?!

CarolD

Welcome zubia...

Perhaps finding a job on that would cover weekends?
And....
You could check out what's availble in your area for
volunteer service.

I did find a whole new group of non drinkeing friends
when I began attending AA. We did all sorts of
interesting things outside of meetings.
Before you give up on AA....ask around ...there are
many very social groups to be found

No AA is not the only way to keep sober
Many of our members are happily sucessfully sober
who use no formal program.....
You can be one too...I hope so.

Keep posting with us....glad you are here!

AlaskaGirl

Thanks for asking this question Zubia. I have the same problem. It's much easier for me to not drink during the week. Once Friday rolls around I almost feel like it is my right. I'll keep watching here for more responses...

CarolD

This was compiled by our members a few years ago....

150 Things To Do Instead of Drinking

1. Read a book
2. Take a walk
3. Play a musical instrument
4. Knit
5. Clean your closets
6. Research your genealogy
7. Cook a gourmet dinner
8. Write an article for your local newspaper
9. Go take some pictures
10. Clean the mildew in your bathroom
11. Start writing that book you've been planning
12. Plan a garden
13. Plant a garden
14. Play with a pet
15. Read to a child
16. Visit someone in an old folks' home
17. Watch a news special on TV
18. Set up a family budget
19. Make a web site
20. Take up archery
21. Exercise
22. Go to an online recovery meeting
23. Surf the internet
24. Call your mom
25. Learn a foreign language
26. Write a poem
27. Play golf
28. Take a bubble bath
29. Draw
30. Teach a parakeet to whistle
31. Take a nap
32. Listen to music
33. Paint
34. Clean your desk
35. Start a stamp collection
36. Go window shopping
37. Browse in a book store
38. Go to an art gallery
39. Go for a drive
40. Paint a room
41. Watch the clouds go by
42. Play darts
43. Do target shooting
44. Do home repairs
45. Clean your garage
46. Sort your photographs
47. Make a scrapbook
48. Climb a tree
49. Plant a tree
50. Make marmalade
51. Make a list of things to do
52. Write a letter to the editor
53. Volunteer somewhere
54. Take a hike
55. Take a college class
56. Try yoga
57. Meditate
58. Get a massage
59. Make fruit smoothies
60. Bake cookies
61. Do a crossword puzzle
62. Go to the gym
63. Plant a color bowl
64. Sharpen your pruning tools
65. Change your engine oil
66. Sew
67. Groom your dog
68. Go see a play
69. Write a sonnet
70. Sort your recipes
71. Play solitaire
72. Go bird watching
73. Write a letter to a friend
74. Read a poetry book
75. Repot your houseplants
76. Go to a movie
77. Mow your lawn
78. Put up (or take down) your Christmas lights
79. Make pickles
80. Go jogging
81. Watch sitcoms
82. Plan menus for a diet
83. Do a jigsaw puzzle
84. Play chess
85. Write a country-western song
86. Watch a video
87. Go for a bike ride
88. Plant an herb garden
89. Start an online journal
90. Dye your hair
91. Go to a restaurant
92. Lift weights
93. Bake some bread
94. Learn a martial art
95. Polish the furniture
96. Make a flower arrangement
97. Read the newspaper
98. Start some seeds
99. Sort your magazines
100. Do some laundry.
111. Take a nature walk
112. Play with your kids
113. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
114. Volunteer at a school
115. Pick up garbage in a park
116. Tickle your kids
117. Play basketball
118. Volunteer at an animal shelter
119. Read to a child or pet
120. Sign up for obedience training with your dog
121. Take a walk and pick up litter you see on the way
122. Spend time at the library
123. Sort all your digital photos and make an album to print for holiday gifts to family.
124. Help your kid organize his closet.
125. Figure out the melody and chords to your current favorite tune on the piano.
126. Practice your holiday cookie recipes
127. Make crackers from scratch (that one didn't go so well).
128. Make tortillas from scratch (better).
129. Reread a book you haven't read for years.
130. Tango
131. Learn about someone else’s religion.
132. Reread one of your college textbooks.
133. Key out a wildflower.
134. Do your nails.
135. Do word puzzles.
136. Play a board game.
137. Burn CD’s of some of your favorite music for a friend.
138. Plant a bonsai.
139. Play Mad Libs.
140. Speak only in heroic couplets for an hour.
141. Read poetry online.
142. Ride a stationary bicycle.
143. Set up a domino topple.
144. Play backgammon.
145. Build a house of cards
146. Make an entry in Wikipedia.
147. Read a world almanac.
148. Publish a family newsletter.
149. Throw cards at a hat.
150. Go to bed.

zubia

Thanks all for the replies. CarolD, I've been looking into jobs and volunteering in the area but haven't had much luck. Most of the volunteering opportunities that I've come across take place during the morning or afternoon hours. Hollybear, I do like to run and bike on evenings but on evenings during the weekends, it just makes me feel more depressed. During the weekdays after work, the roads where I run are filled with other people doing the same. However, on weekends, it seems like I'm the only person out there. Even the gym I belong to is practically empty during the weekend evening hours . It feels that on weekends, I'm missing out on something. Everyone I see is out in groups having fun.

thisisme

I use to call them 36 hour days because they just seemed endless. It was incredible how much time I spent drinking and now to have all this free time....

Find something that inspires you, an old passion you depressed with booze. Bring it back!

Honestly, I now look at my days with the eyes of a child. The world is yours sober.

jamdls

Reward yourself: treat yourself to your favorite junk food (chocolate was my reward); or your favorite restaurant; or to a massage; read sobriety literature; post and/or chat on SR

Ainslie

What about going away for the weekend, like on a road trip?

BullDog777

i love threads like this one. anything positive we can do to divert out desires to drink is a big tool in my sobriety.

TexasNative

+1

artsoul

Hi zubia! The good news is that you don't have a lot of drinking friends to deal with since you've recently relocated. The bad news is that it IS going to take some time to meet people and feel a part of the community where you're at.

Is there anything you're interested in (a potential hobby, music, computers, wood carving, Red Cross training, flying lessons, guitar lessons, whatever?). I know that where I live there are groups that meet for all kinds of reasons (art, theatre, reading groups, community choir, evening classes, etc.) where drinking isn't an issue. At least you could start meeting a few people with similar interests..... What about the people at your job? Anyone who'd like to go biking on the weekend?

I know TV gets old, but carry out and a good movie can help pass the time....and there's always SR!

zubia

thanks again for the replies. Ainslie - I've thought about taking a road trip on weekends but I don't really trust my car enough to go on any extended excursions. Artsoul - I do agree its going to take time to build a social network. The problem is that many of my coworkers are married and have families. Hanging out with a single guy on the weekends is probably not in their interest.

Toronto68

Zubia, I am not clear on whether you are merely struggling on weekends or if you are struggling and then end up drinking on weekends.

Your initial post here reminded me of myself. I'm not trying to come down on you harshly, but it seems like you're in excuse mode. You know, how you can come up with a reason for not going through with something that your better part knows you ought to do. When I see that quality in myself, I think of it as the child in me. Adult enough to dream up the excuse though, and adults can do what they want.

Maybe you need more time to adjust and gain confidence in this setting away frome "home." Give yourself credit for things that you ARE doing, and allow those to add up and create more positive energy. There might come a moment when you are sick of waiting and you will figure out how to occupy your time instead of going stir-crazy, without putting yourself at risk.

zubia

Toronto,

I'm finding it hard to find something to do on weekend evenings (or pretty much any evening of a day that I don't have to work or don't have to go to work the next day) that will keep me occupied enough to not drink. I've been going through my thought processes the past few weeks trying to think what is triggering my desire to drink on these days. I think alot of it has to do with not having a network of friends or family to hang out with. There were some activities that I tried that I thought would keep me busy, but they were all things that were done alone and of course, most activities are best enjoyed with the company of others.

Before I relocated, I used to surf quite a bit. It was something I looked forward to doing and it really helped me stay away from the booze. Sometimes I would go out alone but there were usually other surfers I knew that I would end up meeting that day. I can't surf where I live now so I guess I'm looking for something that can replace it. Maybe I'll join a bowling club or take dancing lessons but neither really appeals to me. I've looked into taking yoga classes but of course, all the classes I've come across aren't held on a Friday or Saturday evening.

I think it comes down to me not wanting to stay home alone on a Friday or Saturday evening. I'm too hyper to do anything at home during the evenings on these days. I'm fairly certain I have Adult ADHD. I took a few online tests today and they both indicated I have a high probability of ADHD. I don't think this is the root cause of my desire to drink but it helps explain why I can't feel relaxed enough to sit at home during the evenings unless I drink. I plan on looking into it further and will probably set up an appointment with a therapist. Right now, I find that exercising in the evenings during the weekdays really helps with my sobriety. On weekends, for some reason, it's a different story. Man, the mind can be so complicated sometimes.

dubbguy

zubia, I had this same problem. What has worked for me is basically instead of sleeping in on the weekends, I set the alarm for even earlier than during the week. I fill the day with hobbies I never bothered with drinking, order a nice meal for dinner with the money I would have burnt on booze and I'm asleep earlier than during the week even. Seems easier than staying up to 1am with nothing to do.

CarolD

dubbguy.....glad to know you are doing well..
Welcome back to SR....

polaris

Just keep in mind that there are so many different hobbies out there. Surely you have something other then alcohol that interests you.

Im sure you can find hobbies that will give you infinitely more satisfaction than a relapse.