arb78

Hello everyone! This is my first post here but certainly not my first time reading through SR. I've learned some pretty awesome things from you guys.

Anyway, I am looking for some advice as I've reached a plateau in my recovery. Long story short, I am 20 years old and didn't start drinking until age 18. In January my school, Georgetown in DC, told me "go to treatment or else." Knowing I didn't want to leave Gtown, I entered into a 28 day rehab program in Minnesota (in January...a little cold for my liking!). I knew in the back of my mind that it wasn't "for me," as it was not my decision to go there. With that said, I relapsed fairly strongly about a month ago and have been doing so since, on and off.

What comes next for me? I've been accepted back into school but feel that if I go back in August, I'll screw up and be kicked out "for good." I've told me (overly-controlling) parents that I'd be willing to go to an alternative school for the fall, such as Augsburg College Step Up in Minneapolis. That, however, doesn't seem to be enough for them and they want me back in another rehab program ASAP. Seems like they just want to get rid of me!!

Sorry for the novel It's just a very confusing and understandably scary situation for me. I never knew things could go downhill so quickly, but such is life...we must deal with it all head on. Any advice would be great. I was a bit nervous to post, thinking I'd be seen as "some crazy college kid gone wild." Hope that isn't so!

Good luck with sobriety today everyone!!

-Alex

artsoul

Welcome arb! I'm sure your parents are concerned and your school pretty much thinks you have a problem too, but what about you? Do you see your drinking as a problem and want to stop? Are you doing anything right now (like AA or followup outpatient treatment)?

Sorry to be asking so many questions! Just trying to understand a little better.
Anyway, I'm glad you're here!

suki44883

From your post, it sounds like you realize you have an alcohol problem. You've already been forced into rehab by Georgetown, relapsed, and afraid you'll "screw up and be kicked out for good."

Are you ready to quit drinking? There's not much point in going through another rehab if you don't want to quit. I seriously doubt your parents want to get rid of you; they just want you to get help. Again, there's not much point, though, if you haven't made the decision to stop drinking.

DayTrader

Maybe a bit off topic but, if your folks are so hell-bent on you going to rehab again, maybe you could suggest to them they give alanon a try so they can learn what the hell is going on. I don't know how I'd say that to my dad...my mom might have been cool about it...but it seems to me they thing rehab should "cure you" and, if that's right, they don't know the first thing about addiction, treating it, or recovering from it.

CarolD

I found my solution in D.C. AA....
I did not go to a treatment center.

There are several excellent meetings in Georgetown.
Attitude and Action was my first home group.....
way back then....we did all sorts of interesting
things outsside of meetings....and we stayed sober together.

Have you tapped into D.C. AA?
You certainly can find lots of understanding and support.


Please keep posting and Welcome!

Boleo

Locations :: Teen Challenge USA

arb78

Thanks to everyone for replying! I'll try to answer to everything.

Yes, I do also recognize now that this is a problem. It took someone else telling me that to make me come around to it; I more or less have been stubborn and wanted that realization to come on my own time, if that makes any sense. I just wish I could go back to DC and fully throw myself into the AA program, but I may have made the fatal (ironic word choice) mistake of telling the parents and the counselor that I'd do something else next semester!

My parents have not been to al-Anon meetings, much to my disdain. I'm actually in Memphis right now for a while (parents have a house here too). There is a much smaller AA/alAnon presence here than DC or Minnesota, but that is no excuse for me or my parents.

I'm clearly stressed out because I SO badly want to get back to school and, heaven forbid, see my friends (who, btw, completely support my recovery and would pose no problem). I even have a sponsor lined up who is actually a captain of our rowing team up there (I started rowing last year- great sport, by the way!). My parents just haven't placed their trust in AA and see college as a toxic environment, which it CAN be...only if you surround yourself with toxic people.

Wheew I am loving the support here. Regardless of what happens from August to January, I'll survive and get back to DC in the winter. Let come what may come!

-alex

arb78

Also going back to CarolID (who I've loved following the past few months)...like I said I am not in DC now. I would love to be, knowing the DC recovery community is much stronger than my home for the next few months- Memphis. I would LOVE to tap into the DC support...if my parents would let me go back haha. Such a touch situation

Katie88

Hi Alex - i wish you luck in your recovery. Just a word to the wise: be careful about posting too much personal info on here (name, age, school, etc). It is not a private website and the Deans do research on students online. I know from first hand experience because of friends I have who work in university admin jobs. If they were to find these posts somehow, it may ruin your chances of getting back in if thats what you decide you want to go. ESPECIALLY if you are telling them that you are in recovery and doing fine and they find out you are lying. That would be a bigger problem then whatever caused the school to send you to rehab in the first place. I've seen this situation when I was an undergrad. I am not trying to scare you, but just suggesting that it may be safer to post your comments in a more anonymous fashion. Please keep coming back, and let me know if you need any support.

akrasia

Hi Alex, just wanted to wish you luck. I agree that the whole idea of rehab won't really work unless you're on board to begin with. My thoughts: nobody drinks just 'cause they like the taste of alcohol, so there's probably a reason you're drinking (to relax, forget about the day, to get some alone time). So maybe work with someone about that and see how you can meet those needs in other ways. Also, I'm convinced (though I'm not a specialist by any means) that there are just some people whose body chemistry is such that alcohol gets its claws into them, so find a way you keep it out of your life!

UniqueNewYork

My story begins about your age. I was in college partying and drinking and thinking it was normal. Somehow I graduated but only because I was dating a girl who's father was a chronic alcoholic drinking in excess of half a bottle of vodka a day. Afterwards I entered the work force and meandered from job to job that I hated each time. Its really hard to do a good job when youve been up til 3 in the morning drinking the night before almost every night. I eventually lost everything.. the girl, the car, the self respect, the job opportunities, relationships, physique, etc. I am almost 30 now but vividly remember moments in my life where you are at now. Maybe you will be stronger than I was. I had plenty of people who wanted to help me but I wouldn't listen to them. You can learn now or you can wait until you are my age. You'll look in the mirror -you look like ****, you haven't been told you are handsome in ages, you've got premature aging signs all over, you're out of shape, you have neverending acid reflux and other health problems, you have no money, your relationships are all soft because you have nothing to be proud of, you hate being alive, you want to die but can't. At this point you realize you can make a change or keep going as you have been.

Its your call. At your age I was a young handsome man attending a division 1 school. With a lot of hard work I still have a bright future but i've pissed away unimaginable opportunity. No matter how you measure quality of life whether its beautiful women, or money, respect from people, respect from your loved ones, I've given all of it away through drinking. You don't have to go down the same road I went down. You can learn from me and others like me. You don't have to lose everything.

arb78

I really appreciate everyone's replies; it has helped quite a bit. Since originally posting, I've started up 2 new AA meetings, both of which have a younger crowd than previous meetings I've gone to. It may just be me but I often felt looked down on at my old meeting from older people. Guess you gotta just keep going until you find the right meeting!

Anyway, I've decided to delay going back to DC until the spring semester. I want to make sure I am completely ready. I've talked to Gtown, told them about the relapse, and they support me delaying it for another semester. I'll take classes up in MN where I'll also live with other recovering alcoholics and abusers. Heck, I may end up wanting to stay there

I'll stick around SR for now. Again, thanks for all the advice guys. You've helped me think a little more rationally about things!!

Music

So, let me get this straight. Apparently you screwed up so bad at school, the school sent you to treatment and you're upset. You didn't like being sent to treatment because you think you weren't that bad and were treated unjustly....and you didn't particularly like the "cold" weather(seems to me DC got hit pretty bad last winter). You didn't mention it but I'll bet your parents are helping out with the college thingy....right? You know, after considering what you've said and your flippant attitude, I'd say just go drink and save your parents and the medical insurance company a lot of money. That's probably what's going to happen anyway.

endzoner

hi Arb and welcome to SR... one thing I noticed missing in your post was acceptence of your problem as a alki .. you dont say anywheres that you WANT recovery and want what others have .. Many times the reasons that treatment dont work is as you said you were forced into it . meaning you wernt ready to take the plung of recovery . Are you willing to go to any lengths to get sober ? Your makin choices that help yes , no question on that . But it seems your doing this for all the wrong reasons ( school , parents ) Soberity needs to be for YOU and only YOU ... Endzy

CarolD

I'm really glad you found groups with younger members.

Look around for some AA elders...age is uninportant
I mean members who work the 12 Steps
and can help you do the same.

The Steps are the AA program

Thanks for checking back in....forward is the correct direction

arb78

Thanks, Carol. I am finally doing this for me and not school...if I just wanted to get back to school I could've just done that and not told anyone about the relapse. And to Music, I don't know why you feel the need to post if it's just going to be rude. As our parents have always told us, if you don't anything nice to say, don't say it. Your post did nothing to advance my sobriety and your accusations of a flippant attitude were unwarranted. Thanks to everyone else though!

Music

You took what I said as being rude. I took what you said as being flippant. Just reflecting back to you what I saw you saying. I'm not trying to "advance" your sobriety. That's your job. I'm just playing back to you what you typed. Alcoholism doesn't take a break due to cold weather. I suppose the school was being overly controlling when it sent you to treatment, and as far as your parents, you're lucky to have parents who give a damn. Your attitude is reflected in that fact that you came out of treatment and drank again. Don't sugar coat the obvious by calling it a "relapse" or a "slip". I came to AA when there weren't any treatment centers to speak of. The ones that were available were trying new methods some of which worked, others, not so much. One thing treatment centers and the medical community learned is stated openly in the Big Book. Alcoholcs are selfish and self-centered. Even when others state the obvious and try to help, alcoholics tend to not listen. Consequently, people who enter treatment aren't a very good risk. They mostly go back out and drink or do more drugs. Your ungrateful attitude leads me to believe you're one of these people so I stated as much. If you don't like what I said and you think I'm being rude.....prove me wrong. Go back to school and thank them for taking an interest in you. Thank your parents for taking an interest in you and then take an interest in yourself so that you can live to enjoy reaching age 21 sober.